Title: Five Ways Yesung Gets Pwn'd.
Rating: Er, PG-13. Implied hankypanky. Non-descriptive nakedness and confessions of love.
Characters: Super Junior, obvs Yesung-centric. A couple pairings but not too much about them, Kangteuk, Hyukhae, whatever else you can get by squinting and tilting your head just so.
Note: This was written for partaken as one of her requests for the Five Things meme. I have no idea what possessed me to accept this challenge. Beware, crack ahead.
1. At first, Yesung isn’t even sure how he got roped into playing this stupid fighting game in the first place. He tries not to care that he’s losing horribly, but by his horrendous defeat at the end of the first match, he’s as into the game as the rest of the players. Yesung has never really been all that interested in video games, but he has never liked to lose.
Mashing the keys as fast as he can, he glues his eyes to his character’s steadily dropping health meter. Almost as if on cue, he luckily enters a combo that sends Kibum’s skinny yet well-endowed Chinese girl counterpart to the other side of the screen. He’s so surprised he throws his arms up in the air and cheers, leaving the controller forgotten by his feet. Another round of cheers erupts right as he looks back to the screen.
“Rule number one of playing fighting games against Kibum. Never take your eyes off the TV.”
Heechul screams and flees to the bathroom, where he locks the door right before Yesung slams into it.
2. One morning, as Kangin is walking down the hall to the bathroom, he hears something in the kitchen.
“Mmmm… ahhh… nnng.”
At first he doesn’t even think to look, continuing on his way, as such sounds were not uncommon in the Super Junior House. Then he realizes that it’s six o’clock in the morning, which would account for the reason these sounds are making him curious. Creeping back to the doorway, he peeks around the edge of the wall.
He sees Yesung standing at the counter, only in pajama pants.
A yell, a crash, and there are porcelain shards all over the floor and hot coffee on Yesung’s pants in a rather unfortunate place.
Snickering, Kangin advises, “Perhaps you should try that naked next time.”
3. Yesung had worked a long day. He woke up at an ungodly hour that morning to get ready for his Miracle 4 U show, afterwards he was rushed to a TV set, and he had just now arrived at home from the recording studio.
He was pretty tired.
Only wanting to collapse on his bed and get some shut-eye, he shuffled through the living room, absently saying goodnight to Heechul, Kibum, Hankyung, Siwon, and a slightly distracted Eeteuk and Kangin. He thought listlessly that Sungmin was probably already in bed, Ryeowook was reading, and Shindong was snoring in front of his own TV.
He opened the door to his room to quite a sight.
Hyukjae quickly covered himself with a blanket, and Donghae nearly injured himself pulling up his pants and leaping off of Yesung’s bed, and in turn, the naked man.
Yesung turned right around, walked out of the house, and spent the night in a hotel.
4. Sungmin was bored. His close-up shots in the video were finished, and everyone else was getting ready for theirs. He wandered over to the refreshment table. Grabbing a piece of melon and popping it into his mouth, he noted the coffee bar the caterers had set up.
Grabbing a cup, he poured black coffee into it. On a whim, he added about two tablespoons of salt. He meandered through the tables, grabbed a bottle of hot sauce and shook about half the bottle in. Sungmin stirred it gently with one of those little straws that were impossible to drink out of, then smelled his evil concoction. It actually still resembled coffee. Perfect.
Smiling cutely, Sungmin shuffled over to Yesung, holding the cup carefully so as to not spill a drop of the likely caustic fluid.
“Yesung-hyung~ I brought you some coffee!” He tilted his head adorably and held out the cup for Yesung to take.
Unsuspecting, Yesung took a huge gulp of the black liquid.
And then sprayed it all over Heechul.
The screams were heard blocks away.
5. Hankyung wonders why he is the one who always gets stuck picking up his drunken group mates every time he hails a taxi at two in the morning.
After coaxing an extremely intoxicated Yesung out of the barstool, nodding knowingly to the owner and apologizing again, he maneuvers the inebriated man into what could be called a sitting position in the back seat and buckles him in. Hankyung also wonders why the miracle of alcohol sets loose his group mate’s need to declare their undying lust and love for him as he slaps away Yesung’s hands for the fifth time in less than thirty seconds. Half dragging the younger man into the dorm, he heads straight for the bathroom because he knows it won’t be long before Yesung’s body starts to reject the copious amounts of soju he’s ingested.
Hankyung ends up holding Yesung in what looks like an awkward hug as he fiddles with the bathroom doorknob.
“Hannie-hyung~” Yesung’s toxic breath blows into his ear. “I looooooove you~”
Nudging the door open with his foot, he dumps Yesung somewhere in the vicinity of the toilet and promptly shuts the door, hoping he won’t have too much of a mess to clean up in the morning.
At least this time there are no property damage bills to pay.