29 March 2009 @ 07:24 pm
Title: Walking Backwards, You’re Bound to Fall

Pairing: Yesung/Dana

Rating: PG-13 (for cursing)

Summary: Yesung has a crush on Dana, but can’t seem to do anything but fail. He thinks his cheeks might be permanently pink from now on.

Notes: started 3.12.09, ended 3.28.09



He looks over at her and cringes. The girls are wearing their blue and white outfits today and hers is a little skirt and halter top. He kind of wants to die.

She’s cheering on the Soshi hoobaes for their upcoming debut.

“Fighting!” he hears and watches a large smile spread across her face, dimples rising on her cheeks. He hopes it’s not too obvious that he’s staring at her from the corner of his eye.

“Nope, failing again, Jongwoonie~” Heechul sings, as if he’s read Jongwoon’s mind, smacking him on the shoulder. (It was just a pat, don’t be such a weakling, Jongwoon! he shrieks at Jongwoon’s frown. Jongwoon cringes again.)

Donghae pokes him in the arm as he walks by, heading over to where Hyukjae stands chatting with Hyoyeon. There’s a bit of a gleam in his eye, and Jongwoon’s a bit wary, but follows him anyway, against his better judgment.

Hyoyeon gives him a wicked smile as soon as he walks up.

“Sungmi unni looks really great today, don’t you agree, Jongwoon oppa?”

Hyoyeon’s smirk widens as Jongwoon sputters and feels warmth spread over his cheeks. She gives Donghae a high five and Hyukjae is laughing along with them as Jongwoon walks away to find someone nice like Ryeowook.

-

Jongwoon watches Taemin and mini-Kibum pop and lock and dance around the practice room.

“Fuck you, Youngwoon,” he curses under his breath.

“What was that, hyung?” Jinki asks.

Shit. Jongwoon had forgotten he was sitting there. The boy is blinking over at him curiously, looking about eight years old. The trainees are so fucking young nowadays.

“Ah…nothing, Jinki-yah…” he trails off into a chuckle that probably even Jinki thinks is lame.

“But, hyung…What are you doing here?” Jinki asks.

Jongwoon sighs and looks over at the corner of the room where Minho is doing schoolwork and Jonghyun sits against the wall, bobbing his head to the beat of whatever song is pumping through his headphones.

“It’s my day off,” he answers. He glares of into space and adds, “Youngwoon woke me up this morning and I couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“Ahh….” Jinki nods in understanding. “Did he pour water on you again? Or sit on you and tickle you?”

Jongwoon wants to facepalm (Why do even the trainees know so much about his fail, he wonders. He suspects Hyukjae.), but instead lets his head drop back against the mirrored wall with a thump.

“….Ouch.”

Jinki looks at him with sympathy.

The music stops and Jongwoon looks up to see mini-Kibum gulping down water and Taemin glide-dancing over towards them. How does a five year old move like that? Jongwoon doesn’t think it’s fair.

“Hi, hyung!” Taemin says, and even his voice sounds like a kindergartener’s. Everything ends in an exclamation point.

Jongwoon is about to say hi back, because Taemin is normally a cute and nice hoobae, when Taemin says, “I heard you have a crush on Sungmi noona!”

Jongwoon actually facepalms this time.

He hears Minho chuckle at him, all low and not fail, while Jinki pats him on the shoulder. Damn Hyukjae.

-

Oh shit, he thinks. He’s just walked out of the practice room, about to head to the stairs, when he sees Heechul standing with Stephanie down the hall. In front of the stairs. Shit shit shit. This could be bad. He tries to discreetly turn and walk the other way towards…well, he doesn’t really know where, since the bathroom is past the stairs, which is past Heechul and Stephanie. Shit.

“Yah! Jongwoonah!”

Shit.

He turns slowly, hoping it wasn’t completely obvious he was trying to run away. The matching smirks that stretch across both their faces tell him he failed…again.

“Hello, oppa,” Stephanie says politely, words directly contrasting to the smirk still planted on her lips. He still feels like a trapped animal, but he supposes anyone would feel like that when with these two. Except, perhaps, Jessica. He shudders at the thought.

“So, Jongwoonie~” Heechul drawls lazily, grin still in place. “How’s the day off?”

Jongwoon blinks. “Um…okay?”

Heechul is being nice and Jongwoon’s not sure whether to relax a bit or be more afraid.

“You know,” Stephanie begins. He has a feeling it’s going to be option number two when she continues, “It’s Sungmi’s day off, too.”

He blinks and Heechul gives a snort of laughter. He’s enjoying this all too much.

“I gave her your number,” she says. “Maybe she’ll call you for lunch of something!” Her smirk widens and Heechul full out cackles.

Jongwoon wishes he had 500 different appointments on his schedule today.

-

“Hyung, your phone is ringing,” Kibum says dryly. He’s sitting on the couch, flipping through television channels.

Jongwoon stares at the phone in his hand, still ringing loudly (she’s so lucky~ she’s a star~), then looks out the window and sighs. “I know.”

Kibum looks over at him, eyebrows raised.

“So…answer it,” he says slowly, like he’s talking to a kid. Or a retard. Jongwoon wonders which one he is.

The phone rings again. “….Hyung. Seriously.”

Jongwoon sighs. He picks it up on the last ring. “He-hello?”

“Jongwoon oppa! Hi!” Sungmi’s voice is light and chipper over the phone. “Stephanie told me it’s your day off today. It’s mine, too! How great is that?”

Jongwoon gives a weak laugh. “Yea…that’s pretty great.” He sees Kibum roll his eyes and turn back to the television.

A few seconds pass and Jongwoon thinks maybe Sungmi expects him to say something. He opens his mouth, hoping whatever comes out of his mouth isn’t complete fail (though, if he’s honest with himself, he doesn’t really have much hope).

“Um,” he says. “Uh…” Sungmi gives a little giggle. “Lunch,” he says. Sungmi giggles again, and he realizes that “lunch” is not really a question, or even a sentence at all.

“I mean…uh…” he starts over. “Do you want to…uh.…”

“Go to lunch?” she finishes (when he can’t). He can hear the laughter in her voice. She’s laughing at him. His stomach drops a bit.

Fuck, he thinks. He’s probably on speaker phone and Stephanie and Heechul are trying not to laugh too loud as they listen in the background. Shit. Just great.

“Uh…yea,” he agrees lamely.

Sungmi giggle again and Jongwoon feels like an idiot. “Okay, great!”

The line goes dead. He sits there for a second, staring out the window, phone still up against his ear.

“Hyung,” Kibum says, not looking away from the television screen. “You’re kind of pathetic.”

“Hmm,” Jongwoon agrees.

“Go get dressed, idiot,” Kibum sighs.

-

Kibum shakes his head as a he stops by Jongwoon’s door on the way to the bathroom.

The scene is dismal: clothes lay strewn across the floor, beds, dressers, while Jongwoon stand in front of the clothes that remain in the closet. He looks like he’s about to cry. He sighs and turns to give Kibum a desperate look.

Kibum rolls his eyes and picks a pair of jeans and a shirt off the floor.

“There,” he says. “Put that on. And wear that long necklace Ryeowook bought the other week.”

Jongwoon stares at his back as he leaves the room, mouth wide open. He wonders how Kibum can pick out a good outfit in under a minute and kind of wants to kill himself.

-

He’s halfway through trying to do his hair (seriously, is there nothing he can actually do?) when his phone rings again.

It’s Sungmi. Shit.

“Hi!” he answers. He wants to smack himself for sounding so enthusiastic.

“Hi, oppa~” she says. Her voice is sweet and clear and Jongwoon wants to listen to it forever. “Um, we never said where we should meet, so I’m just going to stop by your dorm, is that okay?”

No no no no— “Sure,” he says before he can stop himself.

Shit.

-

He’s still scrambling to tidy up the dorm when the bell rings. He kinds of hates that his feet rush to the door when he really should try to pick up those dirty glasses on the table. His hand hesitates on the door knob. What if it’s not even her? What if it’s Heechul and Stephanie there to laugh at him? He bets Kibum is in on it, too, the little sneak.

He jumps when the bell rings again and curses himself under his breathe. “Get it together, Jongwoon. Don’t be such a weakling.”

When he cracks the door open, he feels like he’s going to die. Sungmi has poked her head around the door and she looks gorgeous. Jongwoon wants to faint. Her dimples are showing and she’s got just a tad of make-up on and Jongwoon thinks she looks absolutely adorable.

She’s wearing just enough makeup to brighten her eyes. They sparkle and Jongwoon just wants to kiss her. Sungmi giggles at the blush growing over his cheeks.

“Well…” she says. “Can I come in?”

“Huh?—uhhhh sure?” She giggles again and pushes the door open. Jongwoon pretends he didn’t just trip over his own toes as he leads her to the living room.

“Oppa, can I use your bathroom before we go?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, just skips past his room (shit, he left the door open). Jongwoon hopes she didn’t see the mess of clothes still strewn across the floor, bed, desk, everywhere.

He knows she did when she gives him a playful smile upon her return. He kind of wants to crawl under a rock and die.

-

She orders a salad and a sandwich and sips at her water until it comes.

“Uh…I’ll have…” He’s so nervous, he can’t even order. He’s going to murder Heechul and he’s already lost count of how many times he’s wanted to kill himself today.

Sungmi just smiles. “Order this, oppa~” she says, and points to a sandwich on the menu. Her fingers brush his as she pulls back and all he can do is nod at the waiter.

“So, you must be really busy lately, huh oppa? But you seem to be handling it well. Get lots of sleep, ok?” she says, smiling at him.

“Hehe…yea, I guess….” Jongwoon can feel another blush creeping up. He’s never blushed this must in one day since that crush on Hyemin in second grade. He’s not really sure what that says about him and girls. “Same goes for you…. But you…lookreallygoodonstage…lately…” he finishes lamely.

Fuck, did he just tell her he thinks she looks good?

What. The. Fuck. Jongwoon, he thinks.

“I mean…you’re…performing well? And the others too…” he adds lamely. He thinks his cheeks might be permanently pink from now on.

-

“Thanks so much, oppa! Lunch was great!” Sungmi is bouncing on the balls of her feet, smile stretching over her cheeks.

“Sure…yea…” he replies, and can’t help the small smile growing on his lips.

She gives him a little wave and disappears behind the door of her dorm.

Jongwoon lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

-

“I don’t really get why you like him so much,” Stephanie says. “He’s like…made of fail.”

Sungmi just smiles. “He’s cute…”

Sunday rolls her eyes.

“But…” she continues, and her smile slips down into a pout. “I don’t know…. I don’t think he likes me that much….”

Sunday rolls her eyes again.

“Don’t worry, Sungmi-yah~” Jiyeon says and gives her an encouraging smile. “He’s just shy.”

Stephanie barks out a laugh. “You mean retarded?”

Sungmi frowns at her and Jiyeon pats her on the arm.

-

Jongwoon lies in his bed and fights the urge to flip over on his other side for the seventh time. Ryeowook’s already yelled at him to “Please stop being so fidgety, hyung, I’m trying to sleeeep~”

But he can’t fight the feeling that Sungmi doesn’t like him. What if it was just an elaborate plan made by Heechul and Donghae? He doesn’t like it, not one bit.

-

He wakes up with a too-strong hope that Sungmi has messaged him or maybe even called him.

No such luck.

“Hyung~” Ryeowook has poked his head in the door. “Breakfast~”

Jongwoon sighes. “Coming…”

The other members are gathered around the table in various states of awake: Shindong almost drops his spoon into his bowl as his eyes threaten to close, while Donghae cheerily munches on his cereal, talking around his mouthful to Sungmin, who watches with shining eyes.

He sits down between Kyuhyun and Kibum, a second later realizing that it is a potentially Bad Combination. He sees an empty seat between Eeteuk and Hankyung across the table and is just about out of his seat when Siwon plops down between them. So much for that.

Halfway through breakfast, his phone calls out his text alert (life in plastic~ it’s fantastic~) and he’s startled enough to drop his spoon on the floor. Kibum suppresses a snort.

thanks again for lunch, oppa~ ^^ it was great J ~ sungmi

Jongwoon can feel his entire face and neck burn with heat.

“Jongwoon’s got a giiirrlfriiieend~” Kyuhyun trills, peering at the text over his shoulder. Jongwoon wants to throw something at his head, but all he has is his phone and that has Sungmi’s text on it.

Well, fuck.
 
 
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