AN: Finally, I was able to write this down.XD. Its sort of sad though.
"I wanted to tell you something."
"I- I can't do this anymore. Sorry."
He stood up and ran towards the house and left me without a tangible explanation. Beyond his words I heard nothing but beating of my heart. I heard it break, and cuss and cry until I knew it was about to explode. I wanted it to explode. Instead I faced the crystal ocean and shouted at the top of my lungs, releasing one pitiful word at a time until I felt splinters in my throat. In vain, the waters drowned my words and the once fickle breeze that turned into harsher winds blew my words back to me.
As Heechul and I crept inside the house, I felt the reminiscent heat between our bodies. Maybe the alcohol, our maybe us doing the wrong things. As we walked past the kitchen with our hands strung together, I knew this would end up with us regretting every word we said to tease each other. Nevertheless, Hee and I groped our way into the darkness until we found ourselves an empty room and brought the heat higher.
The dawn after that arrived with him lying on my chest. I felt the morning streaks of sunshine spreading across our faces, a light burning sensation kissing our skin. I stroked his long, black tresses in my hands and remembered what it felt like when my palms where empty.
"How was that for a start?"
"It was good. Great, I guess."
"I believe that's an understatement."
"What are you thinking?"
"You and me, and what what we ended up doing last night."
"Did you regret it?"
"What if I told you I did?"
"It would hurt me I guess."
"Yeah, most likely."
"Hyung, have you ever loved someone?I mean honestly love."
"No. It bores me."
"So you jump from one guy to the next, just like that?"
"And you wouldn't mind if you actually hurt someone?"
"And you wouldn't mind the karma?"
"What if someone who really loved you comes back to you, would you accept him?"
"No. I told you it bores me."
"Isn't that tiring in itself?"
Although I tried to be honest, I knew that most of what I told him was a lie. Some sort of defense mechanism just so my true wrecked self wouldn't show. But I knew that I did not love him, nor did I hate him. It was pure tease, a memory just for fun. His head was turned towards mine as he asked his questions and I threw them back with answers. Every minute his eyes grew colder and colder, like I grew less and less familiar to him. I watched his head bobbing up and down as he followed the rhythm of my respiration.
"Last night, did you say you love me?"
"I said I liked you."
"I don't know hyung, but I guess I regret what I did last night"
"Its a common thing to happen when you're drunk I guess."
For a moment the room was filled with empty silence that rang in our ears. I continued stroking his hair and he continued staring blankly at the ceiling. Suddenly, he climbed up and kissed me softly. Until I heard the silence break with soft sounds of crying, ever growing into harsher sounds of uncontrollable tears.
AN: Its a bit messy, how I arranged the paragraphs and conversation lines. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything about it. XD
part four here