I went to noon mass today, instead of 4:00pm like usual. Something about being on vacation had me going to bed earlier (well on some occasions) and waking up earlier (on all occasions). This may have had a lot to do with the fact that I was basically sleeping on a slab of concrete and woke up in pain every morning. But that's okay, I guess. Being at the beach, you should wake up early anyway. Anyway, the point is that I'm still waking up at a normal time and was actually functional in time to catch mass with my father.

The cantor and the girl who read the petitions were both absurdly pretty and poised like Barbie dolls, or maybe Becky Wentzel. For those of you who don't know her, I went to grammar and middle school with her, and she's basically One Of Those People. You know. Anyway, even their clothes were perfectly neat and tailored in a way I'll never manage. My only complaint was that she sang far too slowly, so at times I wanted to stand next to her and shove her along, musically.

The guy in front of me had hair plugs. I have never actually seen them before, but he had straight little rows of white bumps in his hair, and when I looked closely into the thicker part, there were more rows there, too. Hair plugs are the only thing I can think of that would do that. That kind of defeats the purpose, though, if people can see that you got them, right? I mean, you're getting hair plugs because you are insecure about your hair loss, but if people can see the tracks, they know that you got them because you were insecure about your baldness. He wore khaki shorts and this metal and hemp bracelet thing, and the whole ensemble made me think of a safari a la Hemingway. His hair was a sandy brown color where it wasn't grey, but the grey suited him. He did look a lot younger with hair than I imagine he would without.

The guy in front of HIM had plenty of hair, but he evidently couldn't be bothered to comb it. He was tall and broad, with copious amounts of brown hair that was wavy in a troublesome sort of way. He had it parted down the middle and that, plus his face, plus the waves made him look like one of the Stooges, if he had decided early on to become a linebacker.

The gorgeous man was also there with his family, but they were at the front. If I didn't mention him before, holy crap. He looks like he fell straight out of an advertisement for Armani cologne, with his perfectly sculpted face, thick, straight dark hair and dusky skin. It's kind of ridiculous. One time, the family sat in front of us, and my mom, sister and I didn't pay attention for the whole mass. His wife is also very pretty, in a main line soccer mom sort of way. Kind of like my aunt, I guess. They let their oldest son grow his hair out. He had a ponytail.

Anyway, I was in the outer banks this week. We left last Saturday and returned yesterday. The car ride home was completely awful. We got stuck in two different traffic jams, all because my parents decided to follow the GPS instead of the normal route. It was awful.

The rest of vacation was pleasantly uneventful. We spent most days at the beach, and the rest of it at our house's pool. I don't really need to do to much other than that. I didn't take any pictures, because I'm a failure like that. My brother brought home a souvenir: a tee shirt from Dirty Dick's Crab House that reads, "I got my crabs from Dirty Dick's!" I contemplated getting one, but I thought the implications would be worse on a girl than a guy, so I didn't.

I did realize how completely stupid most humanity is. On the second to last day there, there were really bad rip tides, bad enough that the beaches were red-flagged all the way from Kitty Hawk to Corolla. Our beach had a life guard stand, and even though it's in violation of city law, apparently everyone decided that even though you're not allowed, they should go swimming anyway, because the lifeguards will save them! Morons. Nobody drowned, though while we were there a helicopter flew over with some sort of military guy in a helmet and other gear crouched by the open door staring down at the water an the beach.

Another interesting thing to note: You'd think that being at the beach, girls in bikinis and shorts would kind of be old hat, but that's apparently not true. My sister and I got honks like every time we crossed the road to get to the beach.

Oh, and I'm still pale as ever, plus a good burn and a few more freckles.

I already want to go home.

I hate to say it since I've only been here for a couple of hours, but it's compounding of many factors that Walnut Hill has nothing to do with.

1) I got sick on the plane. Like, really sick. Like, vomiting in the bathroom and passing out in my seat, sick. I still feel terrible. It probably has something to do with not having eaten anything for 12 hours. But the brunch buffet doesn't open for another 15 minutes.

2) It's super hot and humid and there's no air conditioning. It's hard to make friends when you're sweating like a pig, your hair is frizzing up, and everyone else seems to be just fine. I hate that I'm into cold weather and everyone else isn't fazed at all by this super hot weather.

3) This area reminds me of the neighborhood I lived in when I lived in Lincoln. I am very, very homesick.

I NEED A FAN. AND A MIRROR. Why do all the other rooms have mirrors and I forgot to pack mine? Damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit.

How do the kids who actually go to this school do it? The dorms are kinda gross and run down and there's NO PRIVACY... the walls are paper thin. I'm pretty sure the girl in the room next to mine is pissed that I'm typing too loudly.

Seriously, there is only one good thing, and I'm not even sure about that right now. I met a girl who is really nice, and we're friends now. But we don't appear to have much of anything in common, other than writing, so I don't know how that's going to pan out.

Oh well. Here's to sticking it out and hoping it's worth it.

Why hello there.
Today, I am being a scene kid, I will be wearing my new skinny jeans and regulation band shirt (Green Day, the red St Jimmy one) and some chuck taylors...my hair is straightened and looking a bit Noel Fielding-esque, I would put eyeliner on, but combined with my thick rimmed glasses I'd look like a panda.

I will be listening to My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, MSI and AFI.
I will be watching Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas (because, honestly? One of the top three movies) and Donnie Darko (why are you wearing that stupid man suit?).
I will be crying over that fact that both the Way brothers and Pete Wentz are married.


I will then get a grip and get on with a real life, k?
But I will still be watching the same films and listening to the same music because they make me happy.

Man alive! so i've basically been having a rant/discussion/swoon/support group session with my good friend Nathy over the wonder of ladies...or a few ladies who are "in the spotlight" a bit in particular :]

Gets me riled up! i'll go for hours expressing my love of these wonderful, epic girls and their looks only count for a tiny, tiny part of it (not gonna lie, they are nice to look at)...they are just made of awesome and win and intelligence and out spoken-ness and creativity and kids/young girls today should be listening to what they have to say/what they are doing instead of looking up to the fucking wastes of life that are scene queens and e-fame losers and get yourself some self worth!!

Nathy, thank you for letting me gush about girls all over your lj. Why you gotta live so far away though? :[ Who knows, someday i may "grace" Brazil with my precence...if they will have me!
All this praise really kind of makes me want to have some kind of girl relationship. i feel i would be much more, relaxed and "me like" after the mess that happened with the boy. idk, im happy with who i lust over and don't wish to have societies labels to make it easier for everyone else thanks.

I feel people may need to keep an eye on me at msi shows in aug...i can see me going on an embarrassing but passionate rant that looks like all the above :/

IM AM SO IN LOVE WITH MY NEW, FANCY BUT NOT ACTUALLY THAT EXPENSIVE MARKER PENS!! PRO-MARKERS FTW!!

Got a couple of flesh tones ones yesterday and the blender and lord...it looks like water colour but a lot richer and in a pen!! im still getting used to using them and building different tones and blending but already...im in love and wish to use nothing else. I want to know if the paperhouse is open today as i want more colours!! And £2 for a chisel and fine point marker, its rather good tbh. I shall share some of my practices and other art bits later...there is something i really, really want to show but its for laura aka aidzface, like a super late birthday card as i haven't seen her but i want to give it to her in person before i share. Im such a geek.

My folks have gone on a sort of art trip down oxford way today. An exhibit or something and art supplies stalls that his art group are going on. I asked for mother to keep an eye out for some bristol board for me as i want to have a go with it and feel like a proper illustrator.

I had mentioned to a couple of people i wasn't sure what i was doing about college, if it was really right and was actually going to help me become an illustrator. artist, whatever...my tutor has picked up on this and im going to see him in Aug to talk over stuff and see what he thinks. While i love drawing and getting to do it everyday, i wasn't 100% happy and he could tell. I didn't really have the best start on the course but we shall see what happens.

OFF TO FIND OUT IF THE PAPERHOUSE IS OPEN AND IF SO...MORE PRO-MARKERS AND A COFFEE STOP I FEEL ^_^

Oh, and i forgot to add i was not in work again last night. I went to see what was going in and im not on the rota at all this week. Apparently they have cut a lot of staff and are trying to "under staff" the shifts as they are trying to save money. I will apparently be in next week but im getting in touch with Toby and seeing what he says about Casa and will probably be off there. Totally looking for something new all together tbh. That place is a joke and i still haven't been paid my fuel expenses from before we re-opened!! the fuck >:[

So Doctor Who series 1 is finished now, onto series 2 today. 2 is betetr then one. For some reason I want to get to the Ood eps quick. I've been meaning to watch it a few times.

I went and got the Sunday Mail with Mcfly's cd today and got served by the nice lady at the Co-Op (you know Mikey, the one we like) she was nice as always and not annoyed by all the 2ps I had to use. The cd has hated me though, not wanting to work on the comp at first.

I had a dream but it's vague and I can only remember Gerard in it. A dream I had yesterday involved a school. Strange.

Now I'm finishing of the boss battles on Smash Brothers. Hopefully this'lll be the last time I have to do it on normal. I dread to do it on Hard/Very hard/Intense... or with 9 other characters.

Anyway, that's all I think. For now.

So I'm just gonna write about it here aswell.


I woke up to the doorbell ringing. Mom answered the door and there was some bulgarian dude. She talked to him for awhile and then came to me and told me that my father had just died a few days ago from a heartattack. He was only 47 years old.
I'm pretty fucking shocked right now. I dont know what to feel. I'd never want anyone to die from a heartattack let alone anyone from my family. We werent close but it still hurts..

I LITERALLY dont have a dad anymore. It's so weird :'(


that's me with my dad when I was 1.

I miss Kristina. And Addrienne.

I consider them my best friends and now I don't even talk to them at all. I can't hold a friendship for more than a few months before I fuck it up or things just dissolve between us. Now everyone I used to talk with everyday either won't talk to me, can't, or just don't. I guess I can't complain since it's my fault since I deleted my MySpace and don't go on GSB anymore so I'm the one that severed the only means of communications with them but it doesn't stop me from feeling this way.

sdfsadf It's 5 in the morning. I need to go to bed.

Went shopping today with my mum. We drove to these outlet stores that Bekki and I visited a couple of months ago, and boy was it fun.

Remember that Oroton shop Bekki? And that men's leather messenger bag I really liked? Well, I ended up getting it. There was a 30% off the marked price sale so I ended up getting this bag for only $101.50. Recommended retail price was $449 and the marked price it had been reduced to was $145. Thank god we got it cos when we went back there just before leaving four hours later, all of that style of bag was gone. My mum ended up buying a handbag for herself as well. Then there was a 50% off the marked price of all garments in Diana Ferrari for today only so my mum bought a dress for a wedding she and my dad will be attending for only $40 (rrp $170, marked price $80) and a wool coat from French Connection for $100 (rrp $370). Plus some red patent heels for her, and I got a red hip-length jacket and a cream thigh-length trench coat. Even went into Royal Doulton and looked at pretty teapots that cost over $300. I don't think I could bear to use a teapot if it cost me over $300. So pretty though, and they had a gorgeous mint green cake stand that I would've loved to have gotten except that we don't have people over for High Tea so it's not like I'd ever use it. It would just be something to display and use when I make scones and kids come over cos then we would get a kick out of using it.

Oh god. I'm such a dag. I got excited over a cake stand. But in my defense, it was a pretty cake stand.

Stopped by Cabramatta on the way home to eat at this Vietnamese restaurant there. It's not a classy restaurant or anything, but the crispy chicken dish we buy there is absolutely delicious. You know a place is good when the people whom you know run other tasty eateries go there for a meal. Bekki, you know the people who run that Noodle House we both love? We've seen them a few times at this place eating dinner. Hehe! I'll take you there soon so you can try it. Delicious stuff.

Came home. Resting now.

Y hoy no eres tú, mi amor de los encajes,
es el amor de colores y danza, de tortura y felicidad;
amor desconocido,amor de juego.
Divino ser de encantadora sonrisa y cabello de seda
que ha elevado mi alma a las estrellas,
que coquetea cada que puede y te da la espalda después,
que no deja funcionar a mi cerebro.
Gentil hombre de hermosas palabras y sabios pensamientos,
dios de algunas cosas y de las artes ante todo;
dios de un mundo que se encuentra secuestrado.
Y no se cuantas cosas más pero por ahora es de Mora la felicidad, esa sonrisa y esos ojos y esa voz: ese todo.
Todo tú.
Más Mora sin vos porque contigo me debilito, me gana lo cobarde y el hermetismo mío, me gana el aislarme del mundo, el no querer escucharte
Morissima contigo porque me haces volar y llegar más allá del fin del mundo, más allá de esta vida, más allá de lo que he soñado, me haces sentir tan bien!

...My sweet prince, you are the one...

So on Thursday I asked Kristin when she was going to see the Dark Knight, and to no surprise she told me at midnight. I wanted to go, but I had to work, and I KNEW she was going to be getting there incredibly early. So I politely told her we'd go see it another time.

Chance and Nathan called me when I got back from taking my mom to the doctor, and asked me if I could go with them to see it at midnight. I asked if they would pick me up from work, and it was a done deal. Since I was closing I didn't get out until eleven.

So we blew that popsicle stand and headed to the theater. We got there at like 11:10, and headed in to (try and) get a good seat. 23 SCREENS WERE PLAYING THE DARK KNIGHT AND 23 WERE SOLD OUT. It was brutal. We got a little tiny theater cause we bought our tickets THAT DAY. And our seats were pretty close. I didn't even caaaarrrrre. It wasn't bad, i've had to sit closer.

THAT MOVIE RAPED. IT WAS EVERYTHING I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. I NEED TO SEE IT ABOUT 30 MORE TIMES. that is all.

I got home around 3, and went to sleep. I woke up on my sofa around 10 and I was tooooootallllllly confused. Then I went back in my room and went to sleep until 12. I went to talk to my mom and she told me we were taking her to the emergency room. :(

We ended up being in the freaking emergency room from 2:40-10:00 when they finally decided they were going to admit her. I stayed in the hospital with her and helped her with everything. Hospitals suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

End.

 Hmmm...The dead of the night. Midnight to four AM. Nobody's awake, everything's quiet...it's peaceful.

And that's when I'm awake a bunch too.

=)

i havent done this before, huh.
you know what to do, go anon or whatever, be brutal and shit.

so work was busy and yet not busy today. Laura I was off sick so it was basically me, lizzie and alex being very silly and joking around, Laura C doesn't normally talk to any of us which is a shame but i don't think she 'gets' us so she decides to not mix, lol. I had to make a big display on the wall with the shelfs and hanging hooks to put out the 'back to school' promotions and rearrange one of the tables by removing a LOAD of hardback books to make a new display. this was fun but very exhausting as heavy lifting isn't as fun as it looks.

Lizzie and I had a few gushing session over Twilight, the new trailer, the Breaking Dawn quotes and Edward in general and then got very mad at Alex for suggesting Edward would die in the next book being a good ending; we ignored him because he hasn't even read the books and is just saying things to provoke us. He now has a random bloke basically stalking him over text messages who keeps asking how he is and if he wants to comes over his place and ending with kisses all the time. Alex is taking it well and informed him that he wasn't interested in him for many reason; importantly of them all is that he likes girls and not guys let alone this randoms very stalkerage actions but he continues to text him. I told him that maybe be a tad more instant to him that he doesn't actually know him and that he doesn't wish to but he thinks it might come off as mean.

HELLO! HE GUY IS TEXTING YOU ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T TEXT BACK AND YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE HIM YOUR NUMBER! RUN FOR THE HILLS BOY!

and as a special treat for you LJers i give you the below



don't say i don;t do nothing nice for y'all

i just have to say.

that probably, my favorite part of The Dark Knight-


-and that's hard to choose, mind you, was near the beginning, when the Joker shows up at that mob meeting. because, for one, his magic trick. fucking. brilliant. and two, when the black dude is all, YOU'RE CRAZY, and the Joker says "No I'm not, no. I'm not" because they way he says "not" is just a thousand different kinds of eerie and really, you know. freaks me the fuck out. like Heath Ledger wasn't even in this movie, like there was no acting, like that was just, the Joker. it's weird.

OKAY I'VE FINALLY CHANGED MY MIND. ILY SUZAKU, YOU HELPLESS IDIOT<3333

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(001-034) Mitch Hewer & Joe Dempsie @ Lily Allen & Friends
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 to i'm abandoning this journal :( but i have a new one! find me over at tigger_lee I'm moving the fics i'm proud of over too.