MilliQuotes

Tree-shaped Ramon
Demeter and Yrael on what to do about Ramon Salazar, from here:

wheaten_crown: "Yes, but then he'll strike at you and it will get even more tangled up. I've almost considered just turning him into a tree and planting him somewhere."

mogget_cat: "He would not strike after I was through with him," Yrael says.

"He would do better as a tree than he does as a person, I believe, though one wonders what kind of fruit such a tree would bear."

...bullet-shaped berries full of cocaine.

From a post that doesn't technically exist yet, because millitime is just that damn freaky,

awesome_lilly sums up every conversation sinister evil types have ever had;

"He totally will," Lilly says. "I mean, probably not right away, because first there'll have to be all the usual subtext and hints and testing each other crap that evil alliances thrive on, but then it's going to be all 'did you know Puck has three children?' 'Ohh, how lovely. He's quite the family man these days.' 'Yes, it would be such a shame if anything happened to them' and then a significant pause followed by synchronized evil tea-drinking."

Or possibly whisky for Satan, but probably tea. It's always tea.

I know more people whose thought processes work that way, if 'work' is the right word...
"I can't follow your train of thought. I don't think it even constitutes as a train: it's more like throwing darts at a map of all the stops."

Jason to Moon, in this thread

Elizabeth Turner learns that in the middle of being questioned about a murder is an inconvenient time to learn you are pregnant.

Especially when your reaction is this:

Elizabeth paces forward and back, grinding the porcelain shards into the wood with her boot heels.

"I have his heart locked in a trunk!"

This might not be the best thing to say at the present moment, but she's too shaken to remember West and why X is speaking with her in the first place.</span>

Reality acording to Zexion
I always love the geeky, literal way Zexion has of dealing with the reality he perceives. But in this thread, with Xaldin's Other (=former self when he still had a heart), Dilan, he has outdone himself:

cloakitwithplot
"...Yes." A pause. "...Are you dreaming?"

sliceitwithwind
"Or hallucinating." Dilan agrees, "Hangovers do that to me."

cloakitwithplot
"Oh." [[long pause]] "...Could you wake up soon? I don't like this dream much."

sliceitwithwind
[[VERY long pause]] "Sorry?"

Apologies to all the blank lines harmed in the making of this Milliquotes post; but on the comm, they didn't look nearly as expressive as in the thread, and there was no whitetext in them.

Bunnies!! BUNNIES!!!!!
Only in Milliways would bunnies be a part of a serious death threat like this:

"... or so help me I will carve you into small enough pieces to let the bunnies feed on your cold, dead, drugged body while I watch."

licensed_pro, on this threat. Erm, thread.

'Jake replaces the glasses, and starts thinking out loud. "Well. So you're... possibly connected the United States government's intelligence sector. Which obviously means you have to keep secrets, so clearly I can't trust you. Both of these could be Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, or both could be harmless.

"But you're also a geek, and a traditional one at that, which would mean that you'd want to make the test as close to the movie as possible.

"But then again, there's also no way to develop an immunity to Gargle Blasters that I can recall, otherwise Beeblebrox and Ford Prefect would've known about it and taken it. But we're also dealing with a magical bar that could provide you with anything you can think of, and there's always the chance that they just didn't think to ask for it."

Beat.

"Or you could have an Infinite Improbability Drive hidden in your pocket, in which case I'm screwed."'

- Jake Foley

CONTEXT TURTLE!

A good Milli-quote to return to Milliways with.
"Oh, so you're a wiseguy with good manners," Sophia says, as though everything suddenly makes sense. "A well-preserved wiseguy."

Sophia Petrillo [

pictureitsicily] to Tom Riddle, here.

Current Mood: amused

I assume this is okay since the funny part was not my own.

heyfootballhead:
"Did you tell her? What happened?"

a1enzo:
"Yeah, I finally did! On a tropical beach at sunset."

heyfootballhead:
"Enzo," Arnold says solemnly, "you're a stud."

Context knows it.

Excerpted from this thread between Enzo and Momiji.

a1enzo:
The mun is of the opinion that Momiji attempting to conquer Europe would be hilarious.

candied_rabbit:
It would! But kind of futile.

There would be a lot of wibbling, when it turned out that his legions of marshmallow peeps weren't a big enough force to bring Italy into submission.

For making me lol...
"I know," Atton says, sadly. "I often like a good brawl. There's a lake area out back where people can fight, or wench. Or both, simultaneously, if they're very talented."

Context.

from

mogget_cat, here!

"Recent research has shown that cats, as well as part-cats and not'cats, can act as effective doom shields or deterrents in some cases, deflecting or dampening the effects of doom on the person upon whom the cat is currently focusing their attention."

-Munroe, Mun. "A Brief Study of the Effects of Lol-, Part- Not- and True Cats on Persons Within a Certain Distance Radius." Not'Cat Fancy Vol. 42, London, New York, Milliways Bar: Flying Penguin Publishing, February 2009. pg. 19-42.

SAPH YOU ARE A GEEK AND ILU.

Not a player anymore, just a lurker -- but someone had to quote this.

From here.

stuck_mynock: If you sing, I'm just going to go, you know."

guppy_sadhu:

Guppy holds it in.

"But I could get you cheaper car insurance."

stuck_mynock: Kindly: "I know, Guppy. I know."

Hercules is a family man!

"It involves my accursed brother Ares. He..."

There is no proper way to say this.

"He doth be a gargantuan prick."

- here.

♥

A+, would laugh again!
There are some real gems throughout the entire post, but the one that had me in hysterics was from here, wherein Charlie Andrews has just offered Jayne Cobb a slice of pie, for the price of a friendly smile.

swinging_cod:
. . . is she for real? Even Kaylee at her worst never shot this many rainbows out her ass.

Teja, on Roxas in this thread

"He had better find a heart soon, the little demented creature."

AHAHAHA...

From here, with Ava and her Technicolor demon writer:

Ava, meanwhile, is irritably wiping her table with a napkin.

On the wall beside her head, more words appear:

all my BASE

are belong to

"Are you kidding me?"

Strange and silent muffins
"I'd like that, with you...but I have to ask. Why are strange and silent people giving you muffins?"

Charlie Monroe (

licensed_pro), on this thread, after Teja got a basket of Xaldin's muffins from one of Larxene's Lessers.-

What happens when you got a pair of ninja ~~turtle~~ brothers doing tending while not at all sober? You get fun people showing up! Like Mother Nature.

monthly_gift :

"I don't think you want this present, honey. I usually only give them to women."

She pats the gift, but doesn't take it away. If he wants a box with feminine hygiene products in it (though he won't get the physical benefit), he's more than welcome to it...she has plenty of them.

mnt_mike :

"That's so funny! I have a gift that I usually only give to women too!"

The narration just facepalms.

I LOL'd and died. XD

sixlittleseeds: "Do you know what you just did?"

untiedtheknots: "...Drank green beer?"

sixlittleseeds: "Said 'surprise me' to a sapient, interdimensional bar with a sense of humour."

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