my stupid itchy rash on my left hand is flaring up again.

it seems a little weird that i keep getting a rash on the same spot over and over again.
makes me wonder if i had/have something there that never totally cleared up.

when i went to the allergist, it was looking just fine.
it doesn't look terrible now, but it looks as though it's on its way to getting terrible.

the allergist suggested something more powerful than cortisone for it, but now i can't remember what the suggestion was, other than thinking it starts with N.
anyway, i have to call back and let them know what inhaler i want a prescription for, so i can ask then.

note to self: check inhaler prescription prices on caremark

• 09:15 I've had this Excel file open for 20 minutes, and I seriously have no idea why it's open. #
• 09:23 Oh right, form making! Crap, I need direction from asshat manager to do it. #
• 10:02 Crudfish. Walked away from my computer with this screen open. Whoops. #
• 11:36 @warwick Keeping toilet paper rolls and making toys out of them is a much better solution. #
• 13:59 When did I have to start supervising and doing quality control on my manager?! #
• 19:46 OMG Kaitlin's in Sanctuary! Hug machine must not have killed her after all! #
• 20:24 @warwick Alistair too! Also, do you know how much of my life I've spent on fanfic? #
• 20:51 @warwick My, I've never known you to be quite so conservative. #
• 22:44 Marxist-Leninist Party is running in my riding! ... I'm in Alberta, it's not like the candidate I want is going to be elected anyway... #

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I scanned over some stuff I wrote about men in my last few entries. I am not this down on men. But I am kind of worn out.

My friend has worn me out because she keeps telling me her problems over and over about her relationship. What am I to do? I am loyal and nurturing so I try to help. But her situation is close enough to a situation I have dealt with in the past. So I have to constantly relive things.

This is the plight of being a woman sometimes. You end up putting others before yourself and then you suffer. So many of us do it. I can't just say leave your piece of shit man. He doesn't seem to want you. He looks at non-kosher porn all of the time. Get some balls and leave him. I am tired of hearing it.

But the reality is I have had tough times in my past and took long times to leave sometimes and other times had balls. Now, I have balls but am kind. I am different. When friendship starts to drain you and the bad memories of my past are brought up too much and for no good reason other than to further analyze which I do too much anyway, it is time to bring "tough love" into the friendship. I am just too nice and tender. It is hard for me to be tough. I can always put on facades but...

If any man ever reads this, fuck your wife at least every so often. Don't view non-kosher porn. Anything else is fine. Masturbate and watch porn with your woman. Women like that if you include them sometimes. Just don't be secretive about stuff. Secretive=suspicious. And sometimes men are secretive because they are doing not such great things. If it's weird, fess up. I have told my partners the stuff I like, even though I was embarrassed about some if it.

But most men are decent and that is how I really feel. It just sucks sometimes when you get burnt out. I just want to give someone else extra strength to move on but I can see I have been drained. My other friends tell me to give up but I can't do that. I feel like that would be disloyal and I just can't help but care about everyone in my life even if it does drain me from time to time.

Maybe I need to think more about myself and less about other people perhaps. Maybe then I could help other people more. I must have some major fucking Catholic guilt or something.

Today’s progress:

Project: Shaede draft four and a bit
New words: 2,333 (yesterday), 2,293 (today)
Total word count: 72,912
Goal: 85,000 words (or thereabouts)

Writing: Both days haven’t been too bad for writing, though it’s been seriously interrupted.  We had carpet laid in two rooms yesterday, so most of the day was taken up by that, cleaning and returning things to the rooms.

Real life: Went and picked up some groceries, did some laundry and cleaned the house, including cleaning out the fridge.  I also spent some time organising picture frames that got delivered today, though I haven’t sorted out where all of the pictures are going to go yet.  It’s been a domestic couple of days.  Next challenge is to get painting.

Total words for 2008: 453,102

[cross-posted from my website]

I just saw a commercial for Gardasil and I looked it up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gardasil I already knew it was the vaccine for the forms of HPV which cause cervical cancer. I asked my primary care physician if I could get it last time I saw her about a year ago and of course insurance only covers it for teenage girls. I could pay for it out-of-pocket but it is expensive, the $360 quoted on Wikipedia, at least.

Since I am single now but will have sex again at some point, I figured it is better to be safe especially since HPV can be contracted even with a condom, since it is transfered skin to skin.

This just made me think tonight that although I despise socialist medicine, it sucks how current insurance companies gang up and all collude like this screwing us over. None of them pay for it for adults. At least that is what my doctor told me. I will ask her again but I doubt it has changed.

There are a lot of women who surely want to have a vaccine for cervical cancer. About 90% of cervical cancer, from what I have read, comes from HPV so this is "the cervical cancer vaccine". Many women in their 20s and beyond have probably already been exposed to HPV already so they probably figure it is a lost cause but still...

It just sucks. This is a vaccine for cancer and the insurance companies try to not even promote it. I have read it about it being developed for years because I am in the know about random stuff but most people are not aware.

It would be nice if physicians could just offer it to their patients and insurance would pay. Preventative medicine ends up being cheaper in the end. Cancer care is soooo expensive. The $400 wouldn't break the bank of insurance companies. I just hate stuff like this...

I got tagged by elfgirlamanda

Rules:
A) People who have been tagged may write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag eight people to do this quiz. These people then state who they were tagged by and shouldn't tag the person whom they were tagged by, that'd just be silly. Although I suppose if you change a question you can ask them to answer that, but they don't count towards your eight. Eight is a maaaaaaaaagic number.

01. If you could go someplace right now with all your best friends, where would it be?
Europe. The whole thing.

02. What clothes are you wearing at the moment?
black underwear, tee shirt

03. What did you recently finish?
a bowl of peppers

04. What is your favorite scent?
vanilla, banana bread

05. What books are you reading at the moment?
I'm in-between books

06. If it wouldn't hurt your chances in the job market would you get a tattoo on your hands, front of your neck, or on your face?
hell no

07. Do you trust easily?
trust what? trust who?

08. How do you act around people you have a crush on?
super-sexed up or just giggly and dumb

09. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Never imagined I'd be doing that-didn't make a plan

10. Do you have a good body-image?
Yes, I think so, but hard to tell if I'm "on" with this topic. My body's suffered a lot, and that changes things.

11. Do you have a LJ crush?
LJ? Long Johnson? Yes. Definitely yes.

12. What websites do you visit daily?
LJ, Etsy, Ebay

13. Random pet peeve?
when a person stops three full car lengths before the stop light, then spends the duration of the red light creeping up on it

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I think she's a real sweetie. Unique.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
"you came into my life (baby baby) so tenderly with a burning love (baby baby) that stings like a bee and now that I'm surrounded so helplessly, you know I believe you wanna leave me. Oh baby, baby..."

16. What's your favorite item of clothing?
My faded Levi's with the too long flair bottom legs that I'm always walking on

17. What the hell?
I know, I know...

18. What turns you on in your preferred gender(s)?
Humor, intelligence that's not snobby, a sense of adventurousness, self confidence, NOT BEING A BIG PUSSY

19. Is there anything you want so bad right now?
not really. i'm pretty chill

20. What should you be doing right now?
sleeping

21. What would you rather be doing now?
going to the casino with ten thousand dollars

My three year old 'niece' likes to stop at my flea market booth and since I have lots of pictures (Pokemon cards and comics) point at stuff and ask 'What's that'. Lots of Pokemon are based on real animals so we can go through and point out the dogs, cats and birdies. I'm not quite sure she understands 'Pretend animals' but eh. She's pretty good at pointing out the 'real' ones. In twenty years, when Pokemon makes a return on MTV 8 Nostalgia Channel, she's gonna have some really confusing flashbacks.

If Palin's accusation that Obama is a traitor happened two years ago, would she be fired for gross incompetence?

OMG YOU GUYS OMG.

I REALIZE ALL MY RECENT ENTRIES HAVE BEEN IN CAPSLOCK BUT THIS DESERVES IT SO STFU.

OMG OBAMA'S COMING TO DAYTON ON THURSDAY.

I COULD CREAM MYSELF FROM HAPPINESS OMG.

*dies*

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OMG OMG

*flails*

Well you might throw your rock, hide your hand
work in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as god made black and white
what's done in the dark will be brought to the light

You can run on for a long time
run on for a long time
run on for a long time
Sooner or later god'll cut you down
Sooner or later god'll cut you down

Go tell that long-tongued liar
Go tell the midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that god's gonna cut him down
Tell 'em that god's gonna cut him down

I give in.

Doctor tomorrow.

I'm still reacting a little bit. Mini-hives on my throat, arms, and one shoulder... in danger of getting bronchitis because of some chest congestion... sigh.

Why couldn't I have been normal?

OK.. So some of the drivers didn't install. So now I am not sure what to do with this. Huh. Haven't ever run into that problem before. It's running just fine, but the sound itn't working, and that is pretty much it as far as I can tell. Duo or Ali please give me a call to help me, I'd like to keep this OS running and not upgrade. But if I have to. Then I have to.
Done now. Lataz
~a

Best... Heroes... Episode... Ever.



As always, the cut hides a lot of snark and a lot of squee.


( So, the future apparently has the science for two gay men to have babies together... )

I just got back from the John Waters show at the Castro Theatre. I had never seen him live, and I'm not a crazy fangirl, but I do believe in corrupting youth and the various sorts of freespirited things depicted in his movies. It was pretty good! I never went through that teenage stage of watching John Waters movies a lot. I honestly don't even remember when I first heard about him, but I don't think his movies were widely available in Indiana. Actually I take that back. I remember seeing Cecil B. Demented and I might have seen it in the theatre, but I might have already been in California at that time. The Castro Theatre is pretty awesome and the crowd was perfect but a little short on drag queens. I would say that John was looking well, but I was pretty far in the back and I couldn't really tell. I couldn't even see his mustache clearly. These new contacts are a lot better than my old ones, but you know. It is also fantastic to have a friend to see live shows with. I just don't get out to these things unless I have someone to go with. I was really into theatre and opera for a long time, but then I stopped getting a student discount. I also love dance, but I have yet to find someone who wants to see dance performances with me. When I was dancing San Francisco was the largest dance scene in the US, so I had the opportunity to see some really fantastic performances. I don't know if SF is still the largest dance scene or not, but I still want to see dance. Anyone interested??

OMG!!! I've got my Laptop back up and running with Windows XP! Good Goddess how good does it feel to have XP back! I just hope it lasts.
Done now.
~a

Posted by lizzie on Natuba

Is everybody watching the SciFi Channel's "Sanctuary"?

In other news, my papaya is not as ripe as it smells. Sadness