Some woman on some messageboard somewhere: "but I'm glad I got my c-section, my vag didn't have to stretch for my DD's big head!"

Because, what, you'd rather have someone cut an incision in your skin, then cut and rip apart another incision in your uterus* and have your abdominal muscles separated and stretched for "DD's big head" to fit through?!

What the hell are people on? Justification for shit-gone-horribly wrong? There are a few books on cognitive dissonance I'd like the OP to read.


*) It heals faster that way.

I just joined a group over on Facebook dedicated to "Understanding Invisible Illnesses". This is one of their pictures, and i thought it was too perfect not to share!!

Потихоньку разбираюсь в том, что это такое, с чем ее едят, и как она может быть полезна. Пытаюсь определить типы друзей, родственников, знакомых и известных людей. Многие сложности и конфликты в моей и их жизни становятся понятны и объяснимы. Вот здесь и здесьможно почитать подробнее о том, что это за система.

Мой подтип - двойка, и вот неплохое описание:


Тип 2. Помощник.

Главная черта этого типа Ц забота о людях и отношения с людьми. Они в жизни хотят быть «особым другом» тем людям, которые для них важны. Они искренни и имеют доброе сердце. Представители этого типа являются дружелюбными людьми, великодушными, и часто отдают себя в жертву, но также могут казаться сентиментальными и угодливыми. Они исполнены благих побуждений, и созданы для того, чтобы быть близкими людьми, но в определенный момент могут начать «добрые» вещи для людей для того, чтобы быть им необходимым. Они видят себя как вдумчивых, исполненных благих намерений и щедрых, в то время как другие могут воспринимать их как очень навязчивых. Они способны оценивать таланты других людей, очень хорошо могут строить отношения с окружающими. Вместе с тем, сказать «нет» часто является для них большой проблемой, в связи с чем они чрезмерно изматывают себя, слишком много помогая другим. Они ненавидят безличные правила и рабочие ситуации, могут проявлять «особые» чувства к избранным им людям и чрезвычайно много тратить время попусту на выяснение личных отношений. Они редко признают свои собственные нужды.

Люди этого типа думают, что все остальные достойны любви, а они Ц нет, поэтому стараются избежать боязни быть нелюбимыми, постоянно делая что-либо для других. Они считают, что чтобы заставить людей любить себя, они должны всегда быть бескорыстными и добродетельными, именно поэтому они приносят в жертву свои нужды и желания для блага других. Но им же надо чувствовать, что их любят! Но, что если окружающие не выражают свою любовь к ним не так, как они хотят? Тогда Двойки начинают подавлять свою злость и разочарование и разрываются между чувством любви и злости. Со временем, их негативные чувства начинают влиять на их здоровье и взаимоотношения, и они могут вести себя очень агрессивно с теми людьми, чьей любви они так отчаянно добивались.

Но вместе с тем, когда эти люди психологически здоровы, они неэгоистичны, совершают бескорыстные добрые поступки и исполнены безусловной любви к окружающим их людям.

* * *

Почитать про остальные подтипы можно здесь и здесь. Еще очень много информации на английском, могу прислать ссылки, если кому интересно. :) Да, и если можете сами определить свой тип - отмечайтесь в комментах, очень любопытно познакомиться поближе. :)

So, my fiance asked me the other day "are you satisfied?" And I told him the truth, "no." And it's not that he's a bad lover, it's more me. Like yesterday, I wanted to have sex, I was aroused, but when he touched me, I felt nothing and it crushed me. I cried for a long time afterwards because of it. However, he's extremely supportive. He has encouraged me to masturbate more often both to decrease stress (which will help) and to maybe increase my drive (which will also help).


My biggest problem is that I am unsure of how to talk to him about sex now. I used to be so open and willing to discuss anything. Now I feel uncomfortable and insecure. This insecurity about discussing sex happened right after I had an abortion, and it just hasn't gone away. I have discussed what happened surrounding the abortion in therapy to make peace with it, but I guess something didn't come out? Maybe it's a hormonal backlash?

I think my best bet though is to try to just start talking to him again. But I'm not sure how without hurting his feelings. I don't know how to give him direction. Like sometimes he will be massaging me, down there, and he's really rough (like he presses too hard) and it's uncomfortable, but I don't want to tell him "hey, you're pressing too hard" because I feel like it ruins the mood. Plus I have issues with getting wet and orgasm issues. I can orgasm from a vibe, but I get like "stage fright" if I use it with him. I feel like I have to put on a show and it freaks me out.

Any ideas that might help the overall situation?

Which is better when contemplating purchases: money in the bank or accruing benefits(eg frequent flyer miles)?

( Sunday & Monday )

 

 

Posted via email from Indy's posterous

 

 

 

 

 

Posted via email from Indy's posterous

We've told our parents, grandparents, and my sister, and now it's time to tell the world. The big news of the day: Mike and I are engaged!

He proposed to me last night, our friends Nick and Geri (whose wedding we met at) were here, and I was utterly shocked.

No, we haven't set a date, and yes, it's kind of scary looking at all the things that have to happen to plan a wedding!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted via email from Indy's posterous

Posted via email from Indy's posterous

Собрались сегодня с девочками в ресторане "Олива". Я была бы не я, если бы не перепутала место встречи.. я поехала в ту что на Саксаганского, а нужно было в ту что на Сагайдачного. Учитывая ситуацию с погодой, мне очень крупно повезло что я доехала от площади Победы до Почтовой площади за час и почти не намочила ноги - немного воды все же проникло через молнию:)
О погоде: валит снег, температура около нуля, снег не замерзает, он липнет к стеклам и веткам, нагружая ветки и ломая их, и не давая машинам возможности выехать. Он мокрый и скользкий, ближе к переходам это сплошные лужи, огромные океаны, лужи, вокруг которых такие же лужи, но прикрытые снегом, и этот обман раскрывается как только на этот снег ступишь, а вокруг них в свою очередь - метровые мягкие сугробы, в которые если ступишь то намокнешь вплоть до трусов. При этом порывистый ветер, срывающий снег с деревьев и швыряющий прямо в лицо, или за шиворот.
Самое точное определение такой погоде дала моя мама: МЕРЗОПАКОСТЬ.

Впрочем, я добралась до ресторана с итого - часовым опозданием, мне вручили бокал вина и поручили первый тост, скоро принесли мясо с овощами с гриля - какая же вкуснота !!!!! Хорошо прожаренный стейк из телятины, жареные на гриле помидорки, баклажаны, кабачки, картошка, лук.......... НЯМКА!! Поговорили, поели, посмеялись, отлично провели время. Как я и сказала в своем тосте-импровизации, я безумно рада что вернулась в keen on people, такого замечательного коллектива нет нигде. Всегда можно обратиться за помощью и поддержкой, мы все открыты друг другу, не жадничаем с кандидатами и советами, и помощью в трудную минуту. В то же время мы любим наше дело, то что мы делаем, и это замечательно. Главное чтобы планеты продолжали становиться так, чтобы у нас были в работе интересные вакансии, и везло на хороших кандидатов. Год был трудный, но трудностей мы не боимся :)
znorrki, велкам бек :)

What makes a good aunt? This question has been on my mind quite a lot. I'm trying to get ready to be an auntie and start acting like one to a couple of little kids I can see having around for the foreseeable future. It's daunting, because I would hate to fall down on the job of being a good role-model and giver of support. And I had a great, glorious "Oh Shit" moment when I realized that if my Mom, sister and I are going to remain a part of Santa's family, I effectively have a step nephew. All my own. Which is awesome, and moderately mind blowing.

Here's what I've figured out so far: it's not money or power or prestige, I think. I don't really even believe that it's constant attention or gifts.

I think it's Love. Expressing constant, consistent, freely given, not behaviorally based Love.

And displaying an interest in what they are doing/saying/thinking/learning. Even if it isn't interesting, particularly, to you.

This is my current plan of action. Let me know if any of you have further ideas.

I gotta say you guys, Twitter is pissing off my shit.
However I feel like a cheating spouse saying this because I am on that shit all the TIME. The thing is, it's fun but it is just the shittiest blog that ever existed.
You cannot keep up with people on a Twitter page. If you go to their Twitter "blog" all there is is unimportant nonsense and half conversations with people you don't know.

In fact the reason I am on there so much is BECAUSE it is so shitty. It has made it so hard for me to keep up with the people and artists I like that it makes me feel like I need to watch it all the time or I will miss something important and that is a shitty bag of balls.
Maybe they made it that way on purpose?

Also it feels like it's sucking everyone away from their usual haunts where I used to keep up with them very well. You know how Walmart moves into town and suddenly local businesses go under because everyone is having so much fun shopping at Walmart? That is what Twitter is, it is the Walmart of blogs.

Yo, friendlist, does anyone know if there's an ask Dr Eljay type of community somewhere?

I'm asking because ow, stupid hip joint pain, ow ow ow, stupid time of the year means no doctor until after New Year's Day, ow ow, can I do anything besides pop ibuprofen and whine until I get to see a medical professional sometime the next goddamn week? I've tried to ignore the aching (mostly localised in the outer thighs right below the hips) in the hopes it'll go away -- postpartum joint pains are pretty common, after all -- but it's getting worse. That, and the hip/thigh pain has been so overwhelming it's kept me from realising just about every goddamn joint in my lower body is fucked, noticed this when I tried squatting down today and, uh, couldn't.

I'm sure nursing Gruntwurst in the sidelying position, pillow between my legs or not, is no help. Not much I can do about that, since she enjoys these feeding marathons that last anywhere from three hours to the whole fucking day, with breaks only for short naps, diaper changes and screaming serenades if boob does not rematerialise fast enough after either of the former, and nursing for longer stretches of time whilst sitting up in the bed or on the ergonomically shit-shaped couch or dining room bench is just... not doable. GAH I say, GAH.

In more positive news, hypochondriac me is pretty convinced fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc etc are not the culprits. I'm quite positive I don't have, uh, some rare type of bone cancer, either. Yeaaaaaaah!

ETA more of the negative, namely OH SHIT THIS MEANS I GET TO DELAY STARTING WEIGHTLIFTING ONCE MORE HI HAHAHAHAA ISN'T THIS A HAPPY DAY.

I know this is not an immediate concern or topic for thought, but getting pregnant again is just about the last thing I think I should do, based on the experience I had with Gruntwurst. The eternal hopeful in me thinks maybe things'll be different the next time, and that it wasn't that bad anyway. Except for the usual complaints of heartburn, indigestion, muscle cramps, insomnia, anxiety et all, the more serious kidney and UT problems that are likely to recur in any future pregnancies, the batshit crazy, the painful malpresentation that led to an unplanned c-section... uh, actually just thinking of all that makes me want to yank out my ovaries. AND I LIKE MY OVARIES, OKAY?

But I want a chance to get it right this time. I'm so fucking bitter over the whole experience, mostly with how it ended, and can't stop wondering about how I'd be dealing if things had turned out differently.

Wahhhmbulance!

well christmas day was very nice... well besides the water that was seeping into the basement.
We battled that until Kevin,Gayle and Evan came over. Then we shut the shop vac off and sat  them to open presents (well only Evan opened anything cus they were all his presents)
Mom made dinner she made turkey and the fixings. Pretty much thanksgiving dinner. I love my moms turkey and stuffing and all that. we hung out and watched it's a wonderful life and enchanted afterwards.
My brother Michael wanted all of us to come to his house for christmas but my other brother and  gayle were like no tradition is to come here cus we hang out and have a good time. I guess they had said that if it was at mike's there would be no hanging out it would pretty much be eating and then leaving so they did NOT want to go there for dinner.
Staying home was better for me anyway since I didn't get to bed til late and I did not want to have to get out of my pajamas to go anywhere.
I also ended up starting lose my voice christmas day.
It was the scratchy throat and you knew something wasn't right.
By the day after christmas my voice wasn't all there and i felt like poop. So that's pretty much where we are now. I didn't do anything all weekend. I stayed home and slept cus I haven't felt great.
I am feeling much better though today. I need to be 100% by saturday cus I am taking Evan for an overnighter. Gayle is going to a bachelorette party and I'm not sure what kev is doing but Gayle suggested I take the kid over night so I said sure. I mean we have the baby monitor and the crib why not.

sorchasilver lent me her copy of Adam Lambert's album (cos it was sold out in HMV) and I said I would listen to it and rank the tracks.

This is based on one listen of the album:

( The results are in )

Scanning the album notes it amused me to see these names (some of which have bandom connections):
David Campbell - arranged strings for Biffy Clyro's latest album
Greg Wells - has worked with Gerard Way from My Chem
Rob Cavallo - has worked with My Chem
Howard Benson - has worked with My Chem, All American Rejects, The Used
And of course, Matt Bellamy - MUSE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3LJe10tqeI

ok
you may slit my throat now.
see that link?
a little disney pop chick
and
i find myself liking that song
cause it sounds like a pop song from the late 80s with less synth.

and then i looked up the girl
and now i just want to hit myself.
homg.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )