an email i got
Mattel recently announced the release of 11 limited-edition Barbie
Dolls for the Greater Memphis market:

Germantown Barbie:
This princess Barbie is sold only at Wolfchase Mall. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign
dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without
tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
an augmented version.

Bartlett Barbie:
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-
time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone
sold
separately.

Orange Mound Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This
model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash
(preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we
don't know what you are talking about.

Houston Levee Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Horn Lake Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small,a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper
sticker absolutely free.

River Bluff Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet
prescription available.

Frayser Barbie:
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
beer-gutted Ken out of Raleigh Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes
low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Midtown Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has
long straight brown hair, arch less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and
Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow.
She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Overton
Square Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag
bumper sticker for free.

Whitehaven Barbie:
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy
were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition
of the infant.

Southaven Barbie:
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's
always hunting.

Overton Park Barbie/Ken:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.