thinking in tiny pink font... ([info]hissy_kitten) wrote in [info]melbournemaniac,
@ 2008-11-02 09:57:00
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Not so fun neighbour
So...




To give you some background - my fiance and I live in the Northern Suburbs in a block of old, teensy-tiny flats. Our bathroom shares a common wall with our neighbour's bathroom. Since our bedroom is right near the bathroom, we can hear when Mr Neighbour wanders around in his bathroom, showers and pees. It's just a fact of living in shoeboxes that you can hear your neighbours go about their bid-ness... not something that ever bothered us too much.

Until.. our neighbour who is... a little... different... started acting very aggressively toward us. It started when we first moved in about a year ago (although, we didnt know what it was).. with loud banging noises coming from the bathroom wall. We assumed it was possums and went on our merry way. A few weeks later when Mr Neighbour was outside our kitchen window he asked my fiance why we were banging on his wall. Fiance said that we thought he was banging on our wall, and that maybe it was the possums.

Almost a year passes before we hear anything of it. Mr Neighbour is a strange fellow, but seems harmless and always says hello. One night we hear him screaming... and opening then slamming his front door repeatedly (our front doors are night near one another). He's screaming 'I know it's you you f*cking prick!!' At this point we had literally walked in the door and sat on the couch... so we didnt think it was us

About a month ago, again as we just got home... he came and started banging on our kitchen window screaming 'I know it's you, you gutless little prick, stop banging on my effing walls' and other assorted neighbourly comments. We went to the cops because he was so aggressive - of course they couldnt help us as he'd not broken something or caved one of our heads in.

We spoke to a neighbour who knows him and says he is Schizophrenic, suffering from depression, medicated and has a case worker. He's apparently had bouts of paranoia like this before, thinking that all of the residents are being noisy to drive him out. He's apparently now thinking it's just us.

ANYWAY, after this long and rambly explanation - I'm not sure what to do. He keeps randomly screaming that we are pricks and evil and whatnot.. and being really aggressive. The neighbours below us are getting freaked out by him too. I'm not sure what to do - I don't want to go and talk to him directly as he seems like he's pretty erratic in his moods. I don't have a problem with him in any other way that he makes me feel scared in my own home.

Has anyone had an experience like this before? I don't want to have to move house, but I'm out of ideas...


Thanks.

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[info]smegforbrains83
2008-11-01 11:04 pm UTC (link)
i'd at the very least get a recording of his ranting - you never know if u will need to prove the pattern and establish a timeline (dates, times etc)

and possibly do a noise complaint to the council?

its one of those dammed if u do, dammed if you don't - sort of things.

i think its great that you've gone to the cops already - that way if u need to do a follow up you've at least shown the foundations of the problem.


i wish i had some real advice. But chin up ok?

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[info]hissy_kitten
2008-11-02 12:27 am UTC (link)
Thanks :)

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[info]taiirei
2008-11-01 11:31 pm UTC (link)
Document everything so if your dead body turns up somewhere... the police have evidence!
Anyway, I'd still try the police so there's a record of your being concerned for your wellbeing etc. I would try this mental case worker angle. Try get him committed, dobbed in so he loses the place etc. Of course this is just theory... Good luck. I would not want to be in your shoes.

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[info]mscate
2008-11-01 11:40 pm UTC (link)
People with mental illness have a right to housing. Getting people committed in the hope they will be made homeless is a bit pointless as this would exacerbate the problems-plus it's rather callous. It's also extremely difficult to do unless he has threatened self or physical harm and you have evidence thatthis is imminent. there's very little mental health residential care in reality.

I'd suggest calling the local Community Mental Health Clinic (you could give his name or at least his address). He may need a medication adjustment or more supported housing.

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[info]hissy_kitten
2008-11-02 12:11 am UTC (link)
That's a great idea, thanks.

I'm worried for his safety, too. My partner said that neighbour has waved and said hello to him in between all the yelling. Our other neighbour mentioned that he gets terribly depressed and lonely - I can't imagine what it would feel like to not be able to control thoughts of people being out to get you. I think we'll try this - it might help both us and him.

Thanks again.

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[info]mscate
2008-11-02 12:12 am UTC (link)
my brother has schizophrenia (he's well at the moment) and lives alone. People with schizophrenia are usually very socially isolated.

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[info]fizit
2008-11-02 02:09 am UTC (link)
my father too...It is a good idea to find someone to report these instances to. Rather than be repeatedly hospitalised for going off his meds, father ended up being ordered to have fortnightly injections instead...after getting through a pretty rough few years where both his folks have died, he's now quitting smoking for the first time in his life.

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(Anonymous)
2008-11-02 06:02 am UTC (link)
uhh... when did she say people with a mental illness don't have a right to housing?

also... when did she say she wanted to get him committed or make him homeless?

I would be a bit worried if someone was banging and screaming on my kitchen window (mentally ill or not). I would be worried for my safety.

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[info]socraticomatic
2008-11-02 06:41 am UTC (link)
I believe [info]mscate intended for her comment to be posted as a reply to [info]taiirei above her.

Also, grow a pair and post under your actual account (or get an account, if you don't have one!) - stand by your comments!

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[info]fredchook
2008-11-02 10:30 am UTC (link)
Grow a pair of what, exactly?

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[info]fredchook
2008-11-02 10:32 am UTC (link)
(I ask because something about the tone of the anonymous commenter's post made me think they were female, so I assume it's Ovaries of Courage they're lacking.)

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[info]socraticomatic
2008-11-02 10:54 am UTC (link)
pair of lovely coconuts, obviously.

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[info]taiirei
2008-11-02 12:09 pm UTC (link)
Then the original commenter should also grow a pair and learn how to reply to comments properly 8-) I bloody hate people who have a gripe with what I say but then write it elsewhere so I can't see it. Fucking cowards!

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[info]ffarff
2008-11-02 07:59 am UTC (link)
I agree with mscate on this. He's probably not getting the correct care at the moment. Its usually a case of the person having to contact their mental health team when they are having an episode, but of course once you're having one calling CAT is the last thing on your mind.
i dont know which of St Vincents [who have a CAT team] or the local community health centre will be the best, but try either, they'll should be able to help you.

and i know its not up to you to make sure of their care, but if its a treatment problem and if its sorted out, then it makes life better for you and for your neighbour.
A little bit of community caring is a wonderful thing!

good luck and hopefully after a phone call or two and a bit of time your neighbour will be helped out of his episode and you can get back to your peaceful living. as you said he seemed harmless and nice before hand and hopefully will be back to that soon.


[and im very disappointed with the amount arseholes not putting mental illness into consideration. especially the one about about trying to get him committed so he looses his housing! The mentally ill have every right to a normal as possible life.
but then i guess they want people having difficulties all locked up so they dont have to face it. that sort of behaviour is shameful.
A schizophrenic isn't someone being a bastard for fun, you jerks.]

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[info]hissy_kitten
2008-11-02 09:00 am UTC (link)
Exactly.

I don't really see what having him hauled away would achieve. I'd be gutted if I knew something happened to him because of us. I would like to think that if I was in his position, someone would cut me some slack too. I'm torn between being scared of him, and feeling sorry for him.

I really hope we can work something out - so we're helping him out, too. It can't be nice to think you're neighbours are out to get you. There have been a lot of helpful suggestions that we'll follow up on :)

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[info]ffarff
2008-11-02 09:10 am UTC (link)
excellent.

I'm torn between being scared of him, and feeling sorry for him.
I would be too. Its a scary situation.
hopefully it will settle down soon.

If things did escalate and you had to call the cops, they should be told about his mental health so they could take him to st Vincents [or another hospital]. but you already knew that,im just stating the obvious.

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[info]taiirei
2008-11-02 12:10 pm UTC (link)
A decision between my own safety and someone else's right to housing... I think I know what I'd pick.

And use the 'Reply to this' link properly, if your brain can process that.

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[info]what_she_had
2008-11-01 11:50 pm UTC (link)
I'm really sorry you have to put up with such an abusive neighbour! I really hate to say it but your only options are either put up with it or move out. I had a similar experience several years ago in Carlton, except that the guy involved wasn't schizophrenic, he just didn't want anyone living above him. We weren't noisy either - he even accused us of making noise while we were away on holiday. I later discovered there was a 15cm thick file of complaints about him made by previous tenants over the years and none of the authorities could do anything about it.

Definately try to record his ranting if you can. You should also report this to the body corporate and your real estate agent, for what it's worth. Unfortunately moving out may be your only option because unless the cops catch him in the act, or he assaults you or damages your property, not much can be done to stop his behaviour. It sux but that's the way things go, I'm afraid.

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[info]lekiki
2008-11-02 12:02 am UTC (link)
Contact the local mental health service.
It sounds like he is either a) not taking his pills or b)his pills aren't working.

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[info]mikestuchbery
2008-11-02 12:09 am UTC (link)
If this is happening repeatedly, yes, like everyone's said, call the DHS and get them to send a CAT team out. It's no good letting him stay there and not get any better.

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[info]hissy_kitten
2008-11-02 12:13 am UTC (link)
I think we'll definitely try this next time. Thanks :)

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[info]socraticomatic
2008-11-02 12:22 am UTC (link)
What does the CAT stand for? *curious*

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[info]mikestuchbery
2008-11-02 12:33 am UTC (link)
Community Assessment Team.

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[info]pruesaysit
2008-11-02 12:59 am UTC (link)
Crisis Assessment & Treatment (CAT team)

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[info]drbunsen
2008-11-03 09:49 pm UTC (link)
This. While I think it's definitely time to have the local CAT team's number on speed dial, personally I'd be reluctant to use it unless I felt I was in actual danger, or the harassment looked like it was not going to stop, was late at night, or otherwise unacceptable.

The reason I say this is that the CAT team (as far as I understand it) usually is a cop and a psych nurse, and it can result in someone being arrested or committed.

That said, they are the ones who are trained to make that call, not me, or you, and I'm not in your shoes. It's entirely up to you what is unacceptable in your environment. I would assume hospitalization or arrest is a last resort for the CAT team, and they would be more likely to find other ways of defusing the situation.

Perhaps it's worth talking to your neighbour the next time he says hello and seems lucid. At least let him know how much it's bothering you. It would not be mean or cruel to let him know that it's not OK, and that if it goes on you'll have to call someone - mentally ill people (like all of us) need clear boundaries from others, with consequences.

Also, I'd go to Community Mental Health for advice first, before getting legal/cop advice.

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perhaps take out a stalking intervention order?
[info]chriss8271
2008-11-02 02:09 am UTC (link)
Very sorry to hear you are going through this. As the others have said you ought to be recoding the instances of his behaviour.

You seem worried about your personal safety, and rightly so.

Have you considered taking out a Stalking Intervention Order?

You may be able to convince a Magistrate to make an order banning him from interfering with you and your premises.

If he breaches the order then you and the police have a valid reason to haul him away, as he has broken a Court Order.

If you have money you should see a lawyer, if not you should attend a Community Legal Centre...as a last resort the Police and/or the Court can help you with this, but only if they have the time and interest.

some links for you:-
• Magistrates' Court - http://www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au/
• Magistrates' Court page on Intervention Orders (look at the 'Stalking' section) http://www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au/CA256CD30010D864/page/Intervention+Orders-Intervention+Orders?OpenDocument&1=37-Intervention+Orders~&2=10-Intervention+Orders~&3=~#6
• Map of and links to CLCs in Melbourne http://www.communitylaw.org.au/cb_pages/metromapjune07.php
• LIV Legal Referral service http://members.liv.asn.au/livweb/Referral.aspx

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Re: perhaps take out a stalking intervention order?
[info]hissy_kitten
2008-11-02 09:02 am UTC (link)
We spoke to the cops about this. They said we can follow this path, but it's kind of hard when our front doors are about 5 feet apart.

Thanks for the links, though. :)

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[info]madamenilef
2008-11-02 04:23 am UTC (link)
I had a crazy neighbour for two months. If you're in the same block of flats, does the same real estate agent deal with you all?

I rang my landlord everytime my neighbour skitzed out and 2 months into her lease, got evicted. I reported her to the landlord and the cops everytime it happened...every second or third night. And recorded it on my phone for proof I could hear it through the walls.

Sure, people with mental illness have a right to housing which is safe and affordable blah blah blah. Well, I have those rights too, and they were being infringed upon by a chick screeching about the government watching her at 3am. So fuck that. I don't care where she went, either, I was just glad I never had to deal with her ass again because I lived alone and was half afraid shed come in and try to off me.

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[info]darclady
2008-11-02 06:46 am UTC (link)
In a block of flats, whereas the police may not be able to intervene until or unles things escalate, it's possible to get the body corporate and realtors involved. They can at the very least issue warnings if his behavior is causing a disturbance or nuisance to other tenants.

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Good Luck
(Anonymous)
2008-11-02 08:49 am UTC (link)
Good luck getting a CAT Team to help.Or any body for that matter. Thats what the mentaly ill face every day.

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[info]twelveeyes
2008-11-02 11:03 am UTC (link)
I think everyone else has pretty much covered it...

If you manage to get him at a good time, you might try to engage him (if he has insight into his condition) and ask for phone numbers of people you could call when he starts getting too aggressive. Case Manager, local psychiatric triage, GP, local community mental health. This means that they have an idea of what's going on - I'm currently doing my psych rotation and I know that case managers can have a hard time monitoring their clients if they don't pick up their phone/don't have a phone/aren't around when they're supposed to be.

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[info]hissy_kitten
2008-11-02 11:08 am UTC (link)
He's pretty hard to catch, as he keeps to himself pretty much. But if we do manage to see him I think we'll try and have a friendly chat to him and suss out how he feels when he's not upset.

I'm just scared that it will trigger another situation like before.. he's not exactly a small guy :S

It's a toughy - thanks for your advice :)

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[info]twelveeyes
2008-11-03 07:45 am UTC (link)
Yeah. It is hard, and can be very scary. Even in hospital with lots of other people around including trained nurses and security guards, there's always the chance that something could happen.

Good luck!

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