Your Cruise Director ([info]cruisedirector) wrote in [info]mandc100,
@ 2004-03-09 10:04:00
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Swelter
Title: Swelter
Author: [info]cruisedirector
Rating: PG
Word count: 100
Characters: Jack, Stephen
Notes: Movieverse
Rum to: Nagle


"These men are exhausted." As is their captain, though Stephen does not say so. The doctor might blame Jack's stringency on the heat, the inedible food, the unbreathable air; but Jack has not been himself since the second attack by the Acheron, the one during which he claimed that the enemy captain must hold a personal grudge.

Now it is Jack for whom the hunt is personal, as anger boils slowly in him beneath the windless sky. He blames Stephen's private frustrations about the Galapagos for their quarrel; he will not hear the quiet warning when Stephen reflects upon insurrection.

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[info]zasjah
2004-03-09 07:32 am UTC (link)
Oh, yes, you nailed Stephen completely here. And Jack. And the way they do not talk about what has happened between them.
Nice, very, very nice.

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[info]all_ahoo
2004-03-09 08:16 am UTC (link)
Oh, this was great! It always struck me how J and S never talk about the little fights they have. Very rarely are there apologies...they just show up to breakfast the next morning and everything's hunky dory. I always wondered if that ever created any repressed resentment.

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[info]perkypaduan
2004-03-09 08:30 am UTC (link)
You've done a wonderful job describing the interaction between Jack and Stephen. That Jack would rather think about Stephen's frustration rather than his own growing obsession with the Acheron and how it affects those around him seems spot on.

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[info]ribby
2004-03-09 08:31 am UTC (link)
Jack's just a little clueless, isn't he? *grin* Poor dear. But anger held in check can do that to a man, can't it? After it's all over, I'm sure Stephen can suggest some remedy to relieve that stress... *grin*

Yep... nailed Jack in this one. Definitely.

*hugs you*

~Kris

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[info]muccamukk
2004-03-09 08:32 am UTC (link)
Poor Stephen, he is so very patient to put up with Grumpy!Jack.

Those two need tharpy *g*

I love this little drabble.

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[info]peak_in_darien
2004-03-09 06:09 pm UTC (link)
Wow, this really captured it. Poor Stephen!
Lovely writing!

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[info]sparowe
2004-03-09 08:27 pm UTC (link)
Dead on my dear, just dead on. :)

Anon

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[info]mrkinch
2004-03-09 09:05 pm UTC (link)
I'm very fond of your second paragraph. You have a way of not punching the last line (something I do far too often, and we've discussed this), of writing a second paragraph that is smooth and integral. I think you do this often; I think of it as your drabble style, though I haven't gone looking for examples.

Which is a long way of saying I like this very much.

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[info]cruisedirector
2004-03-18 06:44 pm UTC (link)
This is just a blanket, belated thanks for all the feedback and comments! Had a bad week. {{{hugs}}}

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