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i'm like.... gettin all deep an stuff. ;)

in two spots i'm down around five an a half feet. now just need to get the rest of the 8 x 10 area at that depth.

i'm going to have great back muscles.

Tonight while we were playing RUmmy COrrie and I were listening to Soul Street on XM and this great tune came on which I had never ever heard and I love old school soul. The artist was named Johnny Bristol and the tune was called Hang On In There Baby
I found it on youtube so here ya go


I hopw you enjoy it

I think that I have interacted with more people today than I have in the last few months.

Hit the ground running this morning at 8am as part of the move team for the company. This consisted mainly of sitting around and waiting for the movers to get to our department and then make sure that everything that was supposed to go did. Then going over to the new building and making sure everything was delivered to the proper cubes and that the file cabinets were setup properly. The latter is a tight squeeze as there are records for three companies accounting departments in the file room.

Before going on to the rest of the day, let me again say how rocking the new building will be once construction is finished. the gym is a bit small but the equipment is very nice, the game room is nice and the cafe is going to make getting lunch much easier.

After getting the movers out of the way I setup my cube and got out of the new building around one and headed for the next stop of the day, the SOLAR picnic. Had a decent time there and ran into a couple of old Fright Fest folks who apparently did not recognize me with hair. The only downside was that my character sheet was not there so I could not copy it down, I will be emailing Scott this week as he apparently has the info.

Next stop in the grand Saturday tour was Starbridge Celtic festival in Dahlonaga. It was the high point of the evening as it has been forever since I saw the guys from Emerald Rose. They were brilliant as usual and was highly worth me getting lost.

Man I am wiped so I think that it is time for bed.

1) Mom is home, YAY! Tired but doing ok.

2)I have found the perfect little pocket-sized apartment with a backyard and laundry and a garage and it is a block (NO KIDDING ONE BLOCK) from work. The want is killing me. Send good ApartmentGettingVibes if you have some to spare. I REALLY WANT THIS PLACE!!!

3)...

Um. Yeah, I have no number three.

Instead, picture of yummy I would also WANT if Jethro Gibbs weren't fictional...

Mmmm...
*sigh*

Curious as to what you all think about Michael Savage;s thoughts on autism which were shared on Wednesday's show

SAVAGE: Now, you want me to tell you my opinion on autism, since I'm not talking about autism? A fraud, a racket. For a long while, we were hearing that every minority child had asthma. Why did they sudden -- why was there an asthma epidemic amongst minority children? Because I'll tell you why: The children got extra welfare if they were disabled, and they got extra help in school. It was a money racket. Everyone went in and was told [fake cough], "When the nurse looks at you, you go [fake cough], 'I don't know, the dust got me.' " See, everyone had asthma from the minority community. That was number one.

Now, the illness du jour is autism. You know what autism is? I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is.

What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, "Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot."

Autism -- everybody has an illness. If I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, "Don't behave like a fool." The worst thing he said -- "Don't behave like a fool. Don't be anybody's dummy. Don't sound like an idiot. Don't act like a girl. Don't cry." That's what I was raised with. That's what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You're turning your son into a girl, and you're turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That's why we have the politicians we have.

Well the last few weeks I've been feeling alot better bout life and such the anxiety has been totally controlled but,,, well I've gained 5 pounds. Not the direction I want to go for sure/
I know what it is it's not big secret. Eating more having desserts and such. Just not doing stuff I know I should be doing. Going to work on it big time this week though. Starting monday going to switch to 2 herbalife shakes a day see if I can give my metabolism a boost.
I've gone from 319 to 324 in about a month. Feel free to yell at me I could use to motivation LOL

I am working on me and I am working on trying to battle this depression and loss the best way I can. I am reading 'No Time to Say Goodbye' by Carla Fine and there have been some things in this book that have really caught my attention. I wish I had bought this book instead of checked it out. I need a highlighter. I definitely recommend it to anyone who is going through something similar. But, I wanted to put some things in my journal that were profound to me and made me stop and think. It helps me to put it out there and who knows, I might be helping someone else in the process. Thats a big thing in this book...you cant get help until you give help. So, here are some tidbits. Only about halfway through the book, so there will be more to come.

"For me, being a survivor has made me a reluctant participant/observer in my own inner struggle between wanting that to be the most important fact of my life and wanting it to be the least important." - Edward Dunne

Coping with any death is traumatic; suicide compounds the anguish because we are forced to deal with two traumatic events at the same time. According to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the level of stress resulting from the suicide of a loved one is ranked as catastrophic -- equivalent to that of a concentration camp experience.

The whole horror of suicide resonates with the most profound existential question of one's life: "Why should I live?" To hear that someone has answered no, that someone has broken the rules, is extraordinarily threatening to survivors. Edward Dunne

"We do not believe in ascribing 'responsibility' for suicide to anyone other than the victim. The failure to choose life is the failure of the deceased, not of the survivor." Edward Dunne and Karen Dunne-Maxim

The worst part about suicide is that all the attention is on the last minutes and days, not the years that came before.

Because the solution to the puzzle of suicide lies exlusively with the people who have killed themselves, rational explanations and logical conclusions are of little comfort to survivors. We are unsettled and confused in grieving for the very person who has taken our loved one's life. Guilt and blame serve to offer us a context for our mourning, connecting us to the experience of death by including us in the process.

There are no guarantees for a person whose fear is life.

"Different people suffer pain differently. It is not the degree of the pain but the difference of pain."

"Suicide is the ultimate 'fuck you'"

According to Marian Osterweis and Jessica Townsend of the National Institute of Mental Health, sudden death is especially shocking for those who are left behind because it precludes the possibility of preparation. They point out that 80 percent of all deaths in the US occur with several week's warning, adding:"More psychological distress is experienced by family members following death by suicide than death by natural causes. Heightened anger directed at the deceased and guilt for not having been able to prevent the death, as well as true clinical depression, are more likely to occur and persist."

As survivors move from absorbing the impact of the suicide to dealing with the consequences of the loss, we begin to embark on our own individual journey of healing. Yet, in the process of moving on, we also experience trememdous guilt that our lives have not stopped with the death of our loved one.

The irrationality of suicide leaves the survivor no room for definitive resolution.

"A suicidal person is like a black hole of pain. You can give and give but you just cant fill it up."

"The death of a significant other by suicide is a stressor of unparalleled magnitude in most people's lives, and even the most psychologically mature individual may encounter difficultiy in responding to it." Edward Dunne

"Suicide sensitizes all of us to the extreme precariousness and preciousness of life, urging us to cherish and savor the life that we have, the relationships we enjoy, as much as we can for as long as we can." Charles Rubey and David Clark

1.  When they say "cotton works best," they're not lying.
2.  Don't actually tie the fabric in knots.  Its the biggest pain in the butt you could ever imagine to untie them.
3.  Use rubber bands instead of the nappy strings the kit comes with.  They're MUCH easier to remove!
4.  DON'T wear light colored clothes when you are UNTYING the stuff you dyed.  You'll end up with another speckly-dyed outfit that you weren't counting on.
5.  Words won't show up after the 12 hours you have to let it sit.
6.  If you decide to make up your own patterns, they could turn out FABULOUS.
7.  Definitely have the brains to do most of the project outside (dying, leaving out, untying, hosing down.)  I did, and I'm SO thankful for it!!! 
8.  Next time, DO MORE SOCKS!!!

NEW AIRLINE RULES

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?

Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to sit.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy.
Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.

Passenger: What?

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.

Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit,
And fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back
from the gate. But, first I need that $10.

Passenger: No way!

Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal.
And you really don't want me to do that.

Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.

Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the
Overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?

Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge.
It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter?
What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.

so i've tried calculating my "carbon footprint" on 3 different calculators and they all give me wildly different totals and as best as i can tell really dont ask a lot of relivent questions. for example do you heat with wood or electricity from nuclear power.

On Saturday or Sunday, can't remember exactly what day-the Other half and I were driving home from doing some stuff around town. And like clock work I was thinking of Moroni and my research and just talking bout my thoughts and theories etc. Then this car drove by with a license plate that read, and i kid you not, CMORONI-

Wanted to share-

My Grandfather always wanted my sister to play "Turkey in the Straw" for him on her violin. After hearing Pop Wagner play it on his fiddle tonight, I understand why. Plus I'm older and less embarassed by such things...

The kids and I saw a good library program tonight. We were the only ones that saw it, but it didn't make it any less good.

Also, spryte44, Liv will be excited when Biggest can join her at Girls only book club (don't worry, mmmgood, they have one for boys as well) as she was the only one there tonight.

I warned my favorite library clerks that this fall might be stressful and "you know where I go when I get stressed." I said to them. Oh yes, they know. Poor women. They put up with me.

Kate the library clerk (to distinguish her from the other Kates in my life) asked me if I ever met my on-line friends in person. Oh, yes. If it weren't for on-line friends, I would have few friends at all.

I had a free Furthermore beer coupon in my pocket this evening, but not the means to get to the place serving the Furthermore. Such is life.

This morning I put the laundry bucket up on the platform above the garden.

Then I took about 200 feet of black hose and snaked it back and forth on the platform in the sun. filled up the hose and let it set for about 10 minutes.

Then I used the hose to fill up the laundry bucket with nice hot water and let it run for a little longer to cool it off a little bit. Then I did laundry.

Laundry is now completely done….. Completely. Washed, dried, folded and put away. Done.

Also today I broke ground on the bunker…. Err, I mean underground root cellar. Haven’t really decided how I want to do it yet but regardless of what I do, step one is going to be to dig a hole so that’s what I’m doing. I made some really good progress today but we’ll see what tomorrow brings when it comes to digging.

We get bored. And the owners have made the mistake of leaving us alone on Thursdays.

Today the BookGoddess and I are making up reports we imagine that extraterrestials would send back home if the internet were the first thing they encountered when arriving on Earth.

Examples:

Inhabitants of this planet seem to worship varying forms of mechanical devices including an interactive cathode ray tube unit with attachments called 'key board' and 'mouse'. There are other non-interactive tube devices, we are not sure if these are used in conjunction with the interactive devices. There is a subset of worshipers who use instead a 'plasma' and hold themselves as the elite and solid state of the society. We are not sure what that may mean. There are many subsets of worshipers, some using what is called 'cable' or 'high speed' connections on their interactive alters, and they disparage and look down upon the users of something known as 'dial up'. There are also handheld interactive alters, users of these seem to also very often have some kind of mechanical devices growing out of what are called 'ears'. These seemingly bio-mechanically advanced creatures can use their interactive alters with something called 'wi-fi' and we have not yet determined if this is an evolutional change.

This is the sort of thing that makes us laugh and then come up with more stupid crap, and an hour later in the middle of some other conversation we will launch into it again.

Yeah, you gotta be a little crazy to work here.