LolTernative

Oh, deviantART.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:38:55 GMT

I'm really fucking sick of people sticking random shit they find in their grandma's sewing room to their heads.

I'm hoping that those black eyes are from someone punching her for using up all their itchy sweater yarn.

Now you're not even trying!

The stuff of nightmares.

I don't even know what to say about this mess. I can imagine his mom wiping his face clean and yelling at him for playing with his dad's knives again.

Get off your god damn asses.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 05:49:19 GMT

What the hell is wrong with you all?
We are HERE TO BRING TEH LULZ.
And you know what I see for updates?
NOTHING.

So hardcore...with her pink hoodie and pretty jeans....

Found in a 'goth' search.
Oh yeah baby that cross makes you mega goth.

Fat Tranny Emo
...
Wait whut?

WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN.
kandi Kid On Speed.

O hai, don't mind me. Epileptic Seizure. Happens all teh tiem.

CANNOT BE UNSEEN

INDUSTRIAL GOTHS
Ruining juggalos everywhere.
(They Manage.)

THERE
THERE ARE SOME FUCKING LULZ.
NAOW POST.
POST MOTHER FUCKERS.

Still Alive

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 20:32:30 GMT

Hey,it's the not-so-well-known-anymore co-owner of this community, me bitches! Sorry I haven't been around :\ I've honestly just been posting rants and shit and come every so often to check my journal for comments and my close friends journals for comments,but I've decided I want to try helping out here again.

SO.

TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE GAIS.

:>

-Ichigo Chan

Hipster pseudo-intellectual lameness seeps into the fashion industry?

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:52:33 GMT

Sooo, I'm reading fakingfashion, a favorite of mine, and I come across this editorial from some magazine called Baby Baby Baby. If you're unfamiliar with the community, it's basically a place where people post scans of editorials from magazines like Vogue and Elle, and discuss the photography, clothes, artistic merit, etc.

This editorial is entitled--- I kid you not--- "On a Sunday I Drink Tea and Dream of Pirates".

I lol'd. Srsly. The whole thing looks EXACTLY like some MySpace/Facebook hipster's attempt at "photography" on Deviant Art, using meaningless phrases (like the title of this editorial)that sound profound but mean nothing, in order to create an illusion of intellectual depth where really there isn't anything.

It even has fucking pirates! (omg u guiz pirates or ninjas? lololol!!!1)

But wait! THERE'S MOAR! I saw this next one *before* I saw that atrocious one I just showed you. Now, in this one I love the clothes, and it features some of my favorite models. It's actually an advert, not an editorial; it's for Roberto Cavalli's ~~cheap-ass overpriced generic sweatshop-made~~ "affordable" line of clothing at H&M. Like I said, I actually love the outfits, the makeup, etc., but in a lot of the pictures, I was like "this looks like some MySpace hipster's inevitable pictures of themselves at some party with a beer or a cigarette in their hand"... except with clothes that didn't come from a dumpster and people who are ridiculously attractive.

this one's for you, bachi_atari <3

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:51:18 GMT

I challenge you all to a theme!

Artfags and indie types. You know, art-school lesbians, avant-garde types, pseudo-artistic snobs with a stick up their ass... and vegan hippie feminists, too. ;-) Also, general hipsters. We have a serious lack of fauxhemian lulz in here.

Wannabe Pinup Girls

Fri, 30 May 2008 15:41:02 GMT

So, I was reading lolscenekids and ended up stumbling across a site called "The Coverup Girls". It's kind of something along the lines of Suicide Girls... for girls who got rejected from SG. Their models have names like "Murder" and "Deathkiss".
It is a repository of fail.

NOTE: This required screencaps. >.< Meh. But I did it for the lulz.

Girl #1: "FaeReen"

OM NOM NOM

WTF is going on in this picture?!

Girl #2: "Murder"

Sexeh.

B00bz.

The photoshop! It burns!

Oooooh, spooky. (It wasn't a Halloween-themed set of pictures, either).

moar b00bz?

Girl #3: "Krys"

Deeper and more emotionally complex than you, you conformist.

Girl #4: "Pixel"

Not a flattering picture.

DEFINATELY not a flattering picture.

Please, kids: don't do heroin.

The Time Fail-booth has arrived

Mon, 19 May 2008 05:28:31 GMT

To me there's nothing more lulz-worthy than the past, and yes, 20 years from now, I'm gonna be laughing at the good old days of 2000.

I almost hope this guy isn't Scottish.

There's just too much that can be said

As emo as that last one was trying to be. Behold:

This makes me wanna cry. Poor Menchi

Music of our day, in the eyes of a 1970's professor.

le sigh

fails and such as

Tue, 06 May 2008 00:29:14 GMT

A few fail pictures, all the same girl.

hardXcore. Nice smeary eyeliner, bb.

Gothing it up in the park.

Blur does camouflage double chins and cellulite nicely...

I think this is a good example of "fat chick with giant fat rolls who thinks she's hot and makes an ass of herself trying to be sexy". It brings the lulz, though.

MySpace

Political Loli

Mon, 05 May 2008 23:47:58 GMT

Enviro-fail

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:37:39 GMT

Seriously folks. I'm already tired about how everything has gone "green." Suddenly every other commercial talks about how their approved by "X" environmental agency. Most of it isn't even really anymore environmentally friendly than it was before, they just paid to get the rights to say their "Green". So far my favorite "PSA" was at the movie theater:

"Did you know that purchasing Energy Star appliances will save enough energy to run your home for 3 months" Source: Energy Star

Nothing like a shameless advert posing as a PSA.

Honestly, the answer is pretty simple. Give up on our obsession with horse-power, stop the frigging doctors from driving their Ford F-1500's to work, & let's use more nuclear power. Wind and Solar are too weak right now, Ethenol's just kinda stupid, and I have yet to perfect perpetual motion, so let's just use what we know works.

in b4 "Perpetual motion doesn't exist!"

A short entry

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:09:37 GMT

Just a couple from VF... hadn't lurked in a while.
That place is seriously a repository of fail. The whole site just sucks. It COULD have kicked some serious ass, but frankly, it's kind of blah.

...wut?

Suburban goth is hardcore.

Take that you dirty hippies

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:23:15 GMT

Even Hippies Fail hard

From BBC:

Police in southern China have discovered a factory manufacturing Free Tibet flags, media reports say.

The factory in Guangdong had been completing overseas orders for the flag of the Tibetan government-in-exile.
Workers said they thought they were just making colourful flags and did not realise their meaning.

But then some of them saw TV images of protesters holding the emblem and they alerted the authorities, according to Hong Kong's Ming Pao newspaper.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7370903.stm

Cerberibbit

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:20:59 GMT

This week my filthy readers, I bring you some WTFs from around the net. The great thing about Virals is that they really show the soul of humanity, as well as the quirks that makes the world seem a bit more...human.

Not to mention the epic Lulz.

Three headed frog.

This freak of nature wasn't found in some god forsaken land that chances are hung around the ponds near Papa Jupiter's house. No, It was found in the UK.

And courtesy of the Shop at Home Network, we bring you this piece of crap.

They tried to play it off, but anyone can tell you, Katanas just don't do that.

It's true. Models are the DUMBEST people on the face of the planet.

I mean come on....

Failure is always an option

I'm going to hell for saying this, but Autism can be funny too.

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 01:04:00 GMT

We totally just got SMASHED on efagz. LOL! Oh, the bitchiness and hilarity. It's all good, though. :-) Honestly, I love snark comms, even when I'm the target (which doesn't happen often, but still, lol).

ANYWAY... no more SQ posts, now that efagz is there for that. :-) I'm calling off the Zui/Lana thing.

Also... I think the existence of this comm is perfectly justified, since efagz is for people with some degree of "internet fame" or what the hell ever; this makes fun of laypersons.

Anyway, keep posting if you want! I <3 you all, etc., etc., etc.

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:17:44 GMT

"Oh hai. I couldn't find cheezburgerz. So I had Ham."

I feel I need to uh, make a short statement here. This will not contain bashing of any sort, nor will I tell you that you need to knock it off for ignorance. I just felt I needed to assert my disapproval for this, whatever you want to call it.
If you are going to make fun of "alternative" cultures, that's all fine and good, but it's targeting never the less.
I request that instead of the "abnormal" cultures, scenes etc ONLY being made into lolternatives, that you add everyone else.
Cover everything from rednecks to CEO's, school teachers, and the like.
Most people I assume would be rather offended if I narrowed it down to a certain group/stereotype and didn't cover all the bases.
Sorry to take up your board space, but I felt something needed to be said.
Oh, one more thing. Your Gothic lolita isn't really a gothic lolita, persay.
That is Mana-sama. A highly respected and praised musician in japan, ('Sama' is the english equivilant to "Knight" or "Lord") who falls more under the "Visual kei" category.
And that's where we go into another whole world of subcultures.

Long story short, (or not so much)
Here's my post to back up my speech.
Peace out, homefry mcskillet dawgnoodlemuffin.

More photobucket trolling ahead

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 19:09:07 GMT

This week, I felt a failure theme would be nice to do.

I don't know what fails harder, the bad Naurto or the disgusting loli skirt.

I'm blue dabodedaboda dabodedaboda adabodedaboda!
I'm blue gotadickinaguy gotadickina guygotadickinaguy!

Now, this COULD be hot...if it wasn't for the fucking facepaint...god damn furries >.<

I GOT THE TOE JAM! WHO GOT THE PEANUT BUTTER!?

Listen to the wise one

NMFoZ&LM post

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 20:50:21 GMT

The Failboat strikes again.

Now I'm no photographer, but I'm pretty sure that from an artistic/aesthetic perspective, this picture is a train wreck. The positioning of the figures is meh, there's too much going on, and the angle is iffy.

Another from the same set. Still too much going on, in my opinion... then again, I'm not a photographer.

YOU ARE NOT AMANDA PALMER!!! GTFO!!!

I'm only posting this because I'm pretty sure that it's the only good picture ever taken of Zui Suicide, ever.

WHOA

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:46:44 GMT

Co-owner who hasn't been here forever is me. Lazy bitch I am indeedy do. -shakes head-

You twist fat boys nobs the wrong way sir.

Her face gives me crys.

Just...just wtf?

They're emo(you just aren't emo enough to realize!)

Goth children: because the crow needs to do barrel rolls in his grave.

FUCK.We said nigger.

Prostitutes and Goths: No longer is there a difference!

National Make Fun of Zui and Lana Month!

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:42:46 GMT

In the spirit of National Make Fun of Raquel Reed Month comes a new month of Interwebz pseudo-celebrity mocking:

National Make Fun of Zui and Lana Month!

Zui Suicide and Lana Jade are two so-called "scene queens", who happen to be quite a bit more mockable than than Ms. Reed is/was. The two of them collaborate together on a rather baffling project known as "Trashy Crue".

A Brief History of Trashy Crue
Long ago, in a faraway land, Zui Suicide was OMG BFFz 4 EVAR! with a href="http://audrey.buzznet.com/user/">Audrey Kitching, another lulzy SQ (perhaps even The Lulziest of them All). Together, they embarked upon a project known as Trashy Life.

What is Trashy Life?
THE IDEA: A parody/imitation of The Simple Life, executed through web-based videos and blogs, and starring Zui Suicide and Audrey Kitching (who at the time was, for reasons as yet unclear, insisting upon calling herself "Twigg Violence").
THE REALITY: A series of shitty photographs of two average-looking wannabe models in ridiculous "high fashion" clothing consisting of brightly colored plastic and tutus.

After Audz and Zui parted ways for whatever reason, they both seperately continued the ~~absolutely inane~~ concept of Trashy Life in novel incarnations.
Audz briefly befriended scene queen Hanna Beth and teamed up with her for another ill-defined webshow, Hollytauntes. Hollytauntes soon died as HB ditched Audz for bitchy pink-haired tranny Jeffree Star and the Britney Spears of the SQ world, Jac Vanek.

From the Zui half of the duo, Trashy Crue was born.
Trashy Crue originally consisted of Zui Suicide, Lana Jade, and Erny Suicide. After a falling-out with Erny, Trashy Crue dwindled to two members. Ever since, Trashy Crue has very productively and relevantly cavorted around [insert trendy US location here] saying the word "gator" a lot and having their pictures taken by amateur photographers. Lots of pretense, not much substance. It's the SQ way of life!

HOW TO MAKE FUN OF TRASHY CRUE
1. Harvest lulzy photographs and blog entries from MySpace and Buzznet.
2. Copy-pasta into a new lj entry.
3. Add lulzy captions and commentary.
4. Post entry to lolternative .
5. ???
6. PROFIT!!!

That was probably more than you wanted to know. Anyway, they suck, make fun of them.

LOLSQ, on lolternative!

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:25:01 GMT

I was going to post this on lolscenequeens, but it's kind of defunct as per actual SQ mockery until a new comm is made (there was some LJ Drama, apparently), sooo... it's time for some good ol'-fashioned SQ mockery!
By my royal decree, it will now be declared that as National Make Fun of Raquel Reed Month (March 2008) has drawn to a close, it shall now become: NATIONAL MAKE FUN OF ZUI AND LANA MONTH!

...Lana does NOT look good here.

I'd comment on the symbolic importance of this photo as an indication of the emptiness of Zui and Lana except as self-styled Barbie dolls... but I just woke up and I'm out of Provigil.

The clothes are cute, the colors are nice... but Zui and Lana look fug. I can totally picture this photo being done with two REAL models and looking fantastic.

Bad. Lighting. Set Sail for Fail!

The caption on Lana's MySpace: "Bates Photography". IMO, Lana's one of the prettier SQs, but if I were a photographer, I certainly wouldn't want to be represented by that!
REASONS FOR FAILURE:
- Super-cliche radiating colors background thingy... seriously, literally EVERY MySpace scene girl has one of those in one of her pictures.
- Lana's face looks incredibly fug. Just... kind of off, you know? Like, it could use a little digital touching up. There's nothing wrong with a little photoshop, in my opinion.
- Lana's got a good body, but those leggings aren't doing her any favors. Neither is that vest thingy, come to think of it. The outfit just isn't very flattering.

Lana's caption: "We're so gross, haha"
Yes, yes you are.

Moar fug.

Lana finally looks good, but Zui looks cross-eyed.

Here we see that Zui's [?] bathtub is an actual IRL Failboat.

OI! OI! OI!

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 20:20:16 GMT

They say Punk Rock will never die. Although I think it truly died with the split of DK. Sure there's been remnents, but it sadens me that the line between punk has been blured with scene kids.

This kid seems to be heading down a path of herion, and cheap wine.

Bruce Springsteen: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
It always amuses me when I see band pics wearing band t-shirts. If you can read em right, you'll know how much they suck before even listening to them.

If I can call you Betty,
Betty would you call me Al?

First kid, 15 years later

SPRING BREAK BITCHES

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 16:00:46 GMT

Before I go about my photobukit list, I'd like to say something about Chris Crocker. Now honestly his celeb status is somewhat of a crock (eh? eh?) honestly crying about Britney is nothing to be on CNN about, however I've gotta give him props for his latest vid.

I've never seen anything so tongue-in-cheek.

Now that that's outta the way...

I'd tap that!

Shota-cat approves of this ride.

Indeed

This is where the rejects for American Gladiators go

It's still National Make Fun of Raquel Reed Montth! :-D

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:32:54 GMT

Yep, that's Raquel.
A furry has been exposed.
Death to the furfags.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Those are some fugly ballerinas.

I can haz cheesburger plz?

another "lol wut"

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 02:24:45 GMT

lol wut?

Her shirt amuses me greatly, though. ;-)

he was a sk8r boi, she said see you l8r boi... ah! It's stuck in my head! Noooooo!!!

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:23:55 GMT

Does anyone care to tell me how that constitutes "skater chic"? She looks more grunge to me. Or Mary Kate and Ashley style dumpster dressing.

This is still what I think of when I think of "skater". Although I seem to remember them as being a lot more effeminate than that.

I searched "skater" on Photobucket and came up with this.

What ever happened to pop-punk anyway?
I figure it gave way to Emo and Scene.

Take Avril, for instance. She hasn't been looking very punk lately. In fact, on this album cover... she looks like a fucking scenetard!!! The streaks in her blonde hair, the sitting in front of a wall, the stupid pink heart/crossbones.

Compare with:

Oh, and of course, now for those lesbians I promised:

The picture isn't fail, but the facial expression made me lol.
"GTFO mah bathtub! i iz rapin ppl!"