Literary Lust

Your Love Is All I Need

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:25:03 GMT

Title: Your Love Is All I Need
Author: Jacqui
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeHo
Summary: Sometimes, even for Jeong Yunho, it gets too hard to be a leader.

Your Love Is All I Need

Written by: Jacqui

Yunho heard clicking from down the hallway where he was washing his face in the bathroom. Jaejoong was online again. Probably looking for something else to buy or browsing various fansites created in his honor. Yunho liked that about Jaejoong; the fascination with Dong Bang Shin Gi fans. Lifting his head, Yunho blinked at the person staring back at him. There were some water droplets near one corner of the mirror and Yunho raised one hand to brush them away. Figures. The water smeared; only making things worse.

Kind of like the injury in his back had done. Of course it didn't eliminate him completely from the schedule, and they had all been through things like this before. So why did Yunho feel like this was the worst thing to have happened so far? With a quiet sigh, Yunho dried his hands off on his jeans and left the bathroom.

Click, click, click.

Glancing toward the sound that dominated a fraction of the house, Yunho decided against going back to his room for more rest. Stopping just outside a partially opened door, Yunho didn't even have the chance to think twice about knocking before the clicking ended and Jaejoong's voice replaced it.

"Whoever it is, you can come in."

"Mianhae," Yunho whispered, poking his head into the room. Jaejoong had turned to face the door, one arm slung over the back of his chair while fingers wiggled on a dangling hand. "Am I interrupting you?"

"Ahh...Yunnie-ah. You're not interrupting anything," Jaejoong replied promptly, "just checking out some things." Tilting his head, Jaejoong brought one hand up to close his laptop without turning away. "Is something wrong?"

"I just wanted—"

"You can tell me, you know..." Jaejoong now gripped the back of his chair, chin resting on the top of his hand. Yunho almost found himself smiling at Jaejoong's hidden knack for observation. The times where Jaejoong would remain quiet on television or radio shows made more sense with moments like this. It wasn't that Jaejoong had nothing to say or that he was uninterested. Jaejoong was observing.

"Jaejoong-ah...what would you say about my place in the group?" Yunho moved further into the room, the atmosphere growing tight and uncomfortable around him. Jaejoong felt no change, but he did notice the change in Yunho's voice. Yunho rarely opened up so easily let alone questioned his own leadership skills.

"Are you asking me about your role as leader?" Jaejoong asked smoothly, his body shifting in the chair for more comfort but otherwise remaining still.

"Well...yeah. I'd like to know what you think of how I'm doing..." Yunho ran his tongue across the well hidden upper row of uneven teeth. "It's important to me."

"I gave up that role for a reason, Yunnie-ah. I knew you would do better and you have. I've never doubted your ability...and if I knew you would be a good leader even before I knew you as well as I do now...I think that says something." Jaejoong wrinkled his nose to rid an itch he felt coming on, then gave his younger band mate a soft smile. "Not about me, of course. It just means I saw something in you that I was missing. You're a good leader, Yunho. It shows in everything you do. But there's a reason you're asking this, ne?"

"I..." Yunho's brows furrowed. Yunho felt the emotion welling up inside of him at Jaejoong's words. Why was it that Jaejoong found a way to corner him in any attempts to come off nonchalant? "Does there have to be?"

"Ani...I just thought I would give you the benefit of a doubt." Jaejoong's eyes seemed clear, and his smile widened. Yunho knew that Jaejoong had seen right through him, and now Jaejoong was waiting for the hole in Yunho's explanation to be filled.

"Thank you..." Paternally created defenses kicked in and Yunho tightened his jaw to keep his chin from quivering. Yunho made the seemingly long trek across the room, then took a seat on the end of Jaejoong's bed with his back to the older vocalist.

"Yunho-yah?" With the tilt of Jaejoong's head, Yunho felt his own tension and regret becoming too much. Jaejoong knew there was far more to Yunho's question and even in his reason for being there in the first place; Jaejoong just didn't know what that reason was. Yunho's hands were pressed into the mattress, fingers curling into the sheets as he hunched forward and back again. Jaejoong cleared his throat and prepared to coax further, but caught himself before any sound came out. Yunho's body was shuddering with the unmistakable act of crying.

Yunho was crying.

"Mianhae..." Yunho breathed, though it went unheard by Jaejoong as he lifted himself to a stand. The least common aspect of humanity in Yunho was showing emotion. It was obvious to anyone close to him that when Yunho broke his usual practices, there was a damn good reason for it. More importantly, there was a serious reason. Jaejoong slowly eased himself onto the bed behind the sobbing figure, but Yunho was too involved with reigning himself in to notice.

"Yunnie-ah..." Jaejoong whispered. Yunho abruptly went silent at the sound of his band mate's voice so much closer than before. Yunho had a last minute urge to get up and leave the room. As if able to tap into Yunho's brainwaves, Jaejoong frowned before sliding both arms around Yunho's shoulders. "Ani."

"Jaejoong-ah—"

"You can tell me." Jaejoong pressed a cheek to Yunho's neck, closing his eyes while his arms gently tightened their hold. A shaky sigh was heard, and everything that followed went too fast for Jaejoong to process. Yunho was suddenly on his knees with both arms around Jaejoong's waist, his face hidden in Jaejoong's lap.

"I don't understand, Jaejoong-ah..." Yunho's voice was unnatural, and Jaejoong was almost speechless, though understanding. "How can I be a good leader...when I'm constantly having health problems...and even if you don't see it...I hold everyone back..." Yunho shook his head in Jaejoong's lap, tears spreading random stains in Jaejoong's pants. "Everyone pretends that it's okay...all the time...they give me a set amount of days to recover...I can or can't stay active in the meanwhile...and after that it's all just fine. What people fail to see is that it hurts me to see the group worrying...it hurts to know that once again something has happened to me that keeps us from showing our full potential...what happens to me effects the group...it effects every member individually...and then the fans worry...staff worries...family worries..."

"Do you remember when I had hurt my leg and was unable to perform?" Jaejoong's voice was quiet, soothing to be more exact. Yunho was at a loss at how randomly the question was posed, though it was in relation to his issue so he could only raise a tear-stained face to gaze huffingly into Jaejoong's face.

"What—"

"You told me...until I was better...you would be watching. Just to make sure I was okay. During our performances...I was only to look at you to let you know I needed you, remember?"

"But Jae—"

"I never looked at you once. Nevertheless...I knew you were there. I felt your worrying." Jaejoong's fingers lazily sifted into Yunho's hair, the younger boy's body still jumping with intervalls of light sobbing. "We never tell you that we worry...you just know. How do you know? Because you know we all care about you. You know we're there no matter what happens. You realize that, right? How many times has something happened to each of us...and the rest were always there? We've come through it all just fine, Yunnie-ah. Do you think we would be where we are now if none of us was there for the other? If we let them fail and keep falling into their own self-consciousness? This will pass, Yunnie-ah...just like everything else has passed. We'll get through it..."

"This isn't as common...with the others as it is with me, Jaejoong-ah...I...this happens the most to me...and I always take the longest to bounce back..." Yunho's eyes were already strained with redness, old and new tears revealed with shimmery tracks over his skin. Jaejoong smiled solemnly, both hands moving to cup Yunho's face to keep their eyes level.

"You've been a constant survivor, Yunnie-ah. From the gastiritis to the mouth injury...you've been a survivor. This situation is no different. You'll come out of it as you always have." Yunho huffed as if he had been holding his breath for hours, then brought one of his own hands back to grip Jaejoong's wrist.

"Until something else happens..." Yunho's voice was full of doubt, and Jaejoong felt he wasn't making enough of a dent.

"You already know this, Yunho...but things will always happen. With the lifestyle and schedule of a musical artist...especially artists with as big a fanbase as we have...our health isn't always going to be its best. In turn...unfortunately...our ability to be the best won't always be achievable. I think...that our friendship...the love and familial attachment we have for each other...as well as the very effort we place into what we enjoy so much...that's enough...for me." Yunho knew Jaejoong wasn't finished speaking, but he could have sworn he heard his heart stop at such a thought. "Things happen...they always will...and sometimes they are unavoidable things...but just knowing that you have so much backing you up from the smallest to the biggest of dark times...even if there's worry because worry is a natural human feeling...the feeling you have deep inside...Yunnie-ah..." Jaejoong leaned down to press a kiss to Yunho's forehead, and Yunho squeezed Jaejoong's wrist in return. "That can be your guiding light..."

"It just gets so hard, sometimes...to be the leader I want to be...to be what everyone expects...and it gets harder when things like this happen...I just...I can't handle it sometimes, Jaejoong-ah...I want to give up..." Yunho's face lowered as tears filled his eyes anew, but Jaejoong only brushed them away before they could show.

"'For all the people that waited to the Encore Concert, I'm so sorry to you all. I cannot give you the best of me by performance because of this. I will show you my best on the stage.'" Yunho's head jolted up at the word- for-word repetition of the same apology speech he had given to the fans not too long ago. Jaejoong's expression was hopeful, and his eyes focused on Yunho's the moment he was able to see them. In Yunho's eyes, Jaejoong could see his own image, blurred by the well of tears that didn't want to end. "Did you mean it?"

"I always mean it." Yunho was dumbfounded, though he didn't have to think twice about his answer.

"Then that's all anyone can expect, leadersshi." Jaejoong had not changed the close proximity of their faces, and Yunho felt the nuzzling touch of Jaejoong's nose against his own. Yunho returned the affection, then slowly lifted to begin crawling onto the bed. One arm remaining around Jaejoong's waist, Yunho tugged the older boy along with him.

"I still feel like giving up, Jaejoong-ah..." Yunho and Jaejoong lie facing one another, and it was easy for Jaejoong to shake his head at such a statement.

"Everyone feels that way." Brushing a few tears away from Yunho's face, Jaejoong leaned forward to press a light kiss to Yunho's lips. "If you haven't given up by now, Yunnie-ah...I can't imagine you giving up at all. You've had plenty of opportunities...and you've passed up each one...even if you say you feel like it...you have yet to do it. Why? You're not that easily beaten...I'll say it again. Jeong Yunho is a survivor. It's simple...even amongst the confusion."

"I..." Yunho bit into his lower lip, eyes darting around him as if he were searching for something else he could use to corner Jaejoong once and for all.

"As long as you follow through with what you have said...you've fulfilled your part of the bargain. Those who expect more than you can give...they only let themselves down." The hand that was clearing away tears finally rested against Yunho's face, and Yunho found it almost impossible not to smile at Jaejoong's words. The very wave of sentiment that Yunho was riding only continued to rise, though the physical shows of emotion were waning. Yunho was sated, for the time being anyway, that Jaejoong could provide him with the reassurance he needed.

"Why didn't you ever look at me?" Yunho asked, the hint of tears still in his voice as he tugged Jaejoong's body closer against him.

"I told you...I knew you were there. That's all the strength I needed, Yunnie-ah..." Jaejoong's fingers gently stroked the side of Yunho's face, and two smiles were exchanged.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Yunho murmured, his face turning to press his lips to each of Jaejoong's fingertips.

"Mm..."

"I'll do my best, Jaejoong-ah," Yunho held Jaejoong tightly, "for everyone...including myself." Jaejoong relaxed into Yunho's embrace, and Yunho closed his eyes upon feeling Jaejoong's breath against his neck. The two of them lay there in silence, reveling in one another's warmth and security. Just about to enter a state of needed slumber, a careful nudge from Jaejoong aroused Yunho's attention.

"I love you." Jaejoong's voice was soft and truthful. For the first time during their entire conversation, Yunho knew the perfect response.

"And right now...that's all I need, Boo."

Note:
This was a jaeho_exchange present written for machine_of_july~ ♥

Majimak Insa

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 01:20:56 GMT

Title: Majimak Insa
Author: Jacqui
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeHo
Summary: Jaejoong continues his solo career in Europe...without Yun Ho.

Majimak Insa

Written by: Jacqui

~*~*~*~* Scene 1 *~*~*~*~

Yunho's eyes slowly flickered open, having heard some familiar musical rifts invading his dreams. Rolling onto his side, Yunho shot his digital clock a dazed glance. It was nearly three in the morning. The music continued, and it was quite clear by then that it was not a part of Yunho's slumbering visions. Inhaling sharply, Yunho looked to his opposite side while slowly hauling himself into a sitting position. Yunho's eyes were met with vacancy; a slight indentation and wrinkling of sheets which informed him that someone had been there not too long ago. Tossing his covers aside, Yunho stood to full height and felt the shards of winter chill begin to stab every inch of bare skin on his body. Reaching behind him, Yunho snatched up the quilt his mother had given him when he finally got his own place. A housewarming gift of sorts, and Yunho loved it. He and Jaejoong spent countless nights wrapped within its endless warmth, especially when those nights felt far below zero. Yunho meandered out of the room he shared with Jaejoong, down the hall, and into the spacious living room where he then found the source of his euphonic awakening.

"Jaejoong-ah?" Yunho whispered, tugging the quilt a little tighter around cold-bitten shoulders.

Parami meomoon keu sigan jocha...
...naegen neomu mojarangeol...

"Ne..." Jaejoong whispered in between hums, his fingers sliding over immitation ivory at a lethargic pace. Jaejoong knew the voice that spoke to him, and expected it to eventually filter into his self-made universe. Yunho stood behind the elder boy for a few moments before taking a seat, his legs pointed away from the piano so he could sweep the quilt over them.

"Come back to bed," Yunho whispered, blinking down at the subtle use of a sostenuto pedal.

Hanbeonui miso...majimak insa...

Jaejoong's eyes flickered to Yunho's visage, crystaline black reflecting a saddened gaze. "Saranghamnida keudael..."

"Baby...please...? I can't sleep without you beside me."

"Sigane jichyeodo sarange apado..." Jaejoong's attention remained on Yunho, never once giving the slightest sign of looking elsewhere. "Keu sigan jocha...chueo...gigo..."

"You leave tomorrow...I don't want our last night together spent apart." Yunho inhaled deeply, releasing that same breath with a shaky resignation. Jaejoong smiled solemnly, as if realizing that Yunho's words fit perfectly with the next line of verse.

"Majimak insal haneyo..."

Left hand to the right keys...
Index finger sliding up, then down...
An oversweep of the right hand to the left keys...
Back again, and repeat before both hands meet in the middle...

"Boo..." Yunho swallowed hard and leaned forward, pressing a kiss in between Jaejoong's eyes. "Please..."

"Saranghamnida..." Jaejoong felt the other's tears as they slowly traced over those prominently curved lips to burn into his own skin. "Sarang...ham...nida..." Sighing heavily when a pair of strong arms enveloped him, and Jaejoong's head dropped wearily onto Yunho's shoulder. "Fly away....fly...away...love..." Fingers coming to an abrupt stop before lying idle on the set of keys they once played, the sharp discord caused Yunho to flinch.

"I need you, Jaejoong-ah..." Yunho's eyes closed, the quilt having been willingly shed when he embraced Jaejoong's shivering body. It was a rare occasion when Yunho was able to witness Jaejoong in a state of pure tenuousness, but he made no move to change the way things were. It was such a difficult time that was full of so many things that needed no mentioning, yet demanded mentioning all the same.

"I woke up and I felt cold..." Jaejoong breathed faintly, his eyes barely open anymore as he fought back the strong desire to cry. "I couldn't feel you near me...so I thought you were already gone..."

"I...I'll let you cuff my arms around you if you want...or tie them in place...whatever it takes to keep you from leaving me again..." Jaejoong's eyes finally closed, tears seeping through the expanse of coal-fringed lashes.

"...Okay, Yunnie-ah..." Jaejoong choked out, his own arms sliding weakly around the thinner frame beside him. Two bodies remained in their embrace for minutes, hours, or a lifetime for all Jaejoong knew. They were together for the time being, and that was all that made sense in Jaejoong's mind.

~*~

Jaejoong had finally returned to bed with Yunho, and their bodies almost immediately melted into one another. Yunho adjusted the heavy warmth of their quilt over them as if it were a protective shield, then slid in tightly behind Jaejoong's body. His arm encircling Jaejoong's waist, Yunho pulled the elder boy in as close as humanly possible until a grunt of approval was heard from his willing adversary. It didn't take long before Jaejoong rolled around to face his younger lover, nudging the other's chin up with his nose to nestle within the heated comfort of Yunho's neck.

"Goodnight, Jaejoong-ah."

"Fly away...fly away love..." Jaejoong's arm found a path up the side of Yunho's body, then slid behind so that he could hold Yunho just as close as he was being held. "Nae saenge...dan hanbeon...ui sarang...ah..." Resting his chin gently atop Jaejoong's head, Yunho's chest throbbed as he breathed in the familiar scent of lavendar and jasmine.

I might never know this scent again...

"Try to sleep..." Yunho managed, his eyes burning with unshed tears as he felt more possessive of Jaejoong than he ever had in his entire life.

"Ann...yeong..." Jaejoong finished, his voice by then a mere puff of air. Two pairs of arms wrapped senselessly around one another, and Jaejoong released another heavy sigh as he twined his body with the one against him. "I love you, Yunho..."

"And I love you." Yunho stared ahead at the window, throat having gone dry as he mused silently to himself. That was the first time Yunho had ever encountered such difficulty in saying something he had been saying for so many years.

Lying beside one another in an eternity of silence, Jaejoong finally inhaled a quiet breath as his eyes slowly blinked.

"I can sleep on the plane..." came a near inaudible whisper. Yunho smiled sadly, the movement of Jaejoong's head beneath his chin and the tickling of silky hair on his skin giving him more comfort than he was able to find on his own.

~*~*~*~* Scene 2 *~*~*~*~

Seven o'clock in the morning; Kimpo Airport. The two of them surely not strangers to this kind of surrounding during their lifetime and career, it suddenly felt like a brand new experience for them now. Yunho, seated on a bench to Jaejoong's right, slipped an arm around his elder lover and patted a stiff shoulder.

"You'll call me as soon as you get there, right?"

"Ne."

"Keep me updated, too. We were in Europe a few times in the past, but never long enough to get a taste of everything." Yunho tugged Jaejoong closer, sighing softly as he nuzzled into the softness of jet-black tresses. "Don't be sad...this is your chance, baby. I'll be fine here...and you'll be fine there."

"Tsch..." Jaejoong's eyes dipped to a close, his own mentality wavering as he tried to lose himself in the feel of Yunho's presence. Hugging his bags close to him, Jaejoong inched in closer and leaned into Yunho's affections. "I'm not going to find anyone else...I won't even look...just so you know...I don't want anyone else..."

"I know, Boo...I know." Yunho smiled, the hand on a shoulder lifting to rest against the side of his lover's head. A few flights were called out for boarding, but none were Jaejoong's, and it made Jaejoong heave a sigh of inner relief.

Jaejoong, please don't do this. Don't tell me what I want to hear and what I want to believe with all my heart. Don't make promises that are so often given and so seldom kept. If you find someone else to love...I --

"Flight 482, Seoul to London now boarding," came a female voice, "passengers are required to have a passport and proper identification when reaching their designated terminals. Please make sure...possessions and proper paperwork..."

"That's mine..." Jaejoong whispered, his voice splitting in two as he brought a hand to Yunho's chest and leaned back to gaze at the younger boy beside him. Yunho swallowed hard, nodding sternly before he sniffed back a demanding ocean of tears that had been ignored with much difficulty since their arrival.

"Do you um..." Yunho licked his lips, eyes darting everywhere around the two of them. "Do you have everything?"

"No..." Jaejoong replied, his voice weaker than before as he brought a hand to tug hintingly at Yunho's shirt. Catching that hint the moment it was given, Yunho's entire being echoed with the painful ringing of a broken heart. Jaejoong's eyes flickered about Yunho's face, as if chiseling everything he saw into his memory. The scar near Yunho's left eye; the beauty mark above the left side of beautifully bowed lips; the way his eyes glittered when he was happy; a strongly sculpted jawline. Jaejoong knew he would never have enough time to hold everything in, and his spirit began to crumble at such a realization.

"Jaejoong-ah..." Yunho breathed, both hands lifting to cradle the boy's face. "Go..."

"I'll call you..." Jaejoong choked out, nuzzling into the hands that touched him so tenderly. Lifting the strap of his bag over one shoulder, his fingers latched onto the suitcase that sat idly beside his legs on the ground, and Jaejoong stood up. Yunho's hands fell hesitantly into his lap as the fingers nervously intertwined with one another, upper teeth grabbing onto the inner skin of a quivering lower lip to harness his ever growing emotional torment.

"I'll be waiting."

"So will I." Jaejoong smiled somberly with a curt nod, though the dejection was indefinitely obvious. With a quick and loving brush of fingers to Yunho's cheek, Jaejoong turned and began on his way.

Yunho felt a sudden tinge...
A tinge of knowing that was so strong...
Knowing that there had to be more than this...

"Jaejoong-sshi..." Yunho called out softly, his hands tightening into his coat as his outburst made his speech sound awkward. Instinct kicked in on Jaejoong's behalf and he whirled around, greeting Yunho with a doubled expression of previous melancholy.

"Yunnie-ah?"

Even the loud voices, which were amplified by the reverberating building that surrounded them, couldn't penetrate that moment of pure ache that went on between these two men. Yunho didn't want Jaejoong to leave, and Jaejoong wanted so desperately to stay. This had to be the second most difficult time in Jaejoong's life aside from the disbanding of Dong Bang Shin Gi. Yunho's chest began to tighten up the longer his gaze remained on Jaejoong's face, and it didn't help Jaejoong's effort in controling his desire to drop it all and stay in South Korea.

Go, Jaejoong. Don't stand there and make this pain threefold. Please...just turn around and go. And when you do...please don't look back again.

Yunho's eyes never left Jaejoong's expression, though his gaze had become strained after some time, and his jaw had tightened in response to his trembling lips. Jaejoong didn't even remember the bags falling from his hands, but when they made a heavy clatter to the wax-laden floor, something told him their first goodbye wasn't enough. A simple farewell was not going to cut it for either of them. Before he knew it, Yunho's feet had taken the necessary steps which obliterated any distance that lay between him and the supreme love of his life. One of Yunho's arms found its rightful place around Jaejoong's waist, the other rising to rest against the back of Jaejoong's head. Fingers mingling within satiny strands of strawberry scented hair, Yunho bit his lower lip and Jaejoong held his breath.

"I told you not to look back..." Yunho sighed, his attention solely concentrated on the dark and clouding depths of Jaejoong's eyes.

"I'll always look back, Yunnie-ah. When I hear someone who sounds like you...laughs like you do...if they dance or look like you...I'll always look back..." Jaejoong's voice was shaking, and both hands had lifted to rest against Yunho's chest. "Just in case..."

"Boo..." Yunho sensed the tears only after they burned a heated path down each side of his face. The hand which rested on the small of a tightened back eagerly pulled forward, Yunho's lips parting before meeting Jaejoong's in a fervent kiss that would no doubt gain plenty of attention from passersby.

Yunho hadn't the willpower to care who saw him, when all he wanted in that moment was to feel the last bit of passion Jaejoong had to offer him. The kind of passion that was only shared between the both of them.

Heat spread all throughout Jaejoong's body, and one after another came the emotional torrents of agonizing truth. Throat drying up as the smallest of whimpers strummed his vocal cords, Jaejoong felt pure helplessness. The desire to lock Yunho away in his heart forever was so strong, and he leaned forward as desperately as he knew how to push their kiss into another realm of meaning.

Yunho read Jaejoong's every move, and he felt the despair passing through him as his lover's right hand touched his face. Yunho's desperation seemed to match Jaejoong's, the kiss taking on a heavy zeal in reflection of Yunho's inner struggle. The union of lips had become damp, and Yunho's eyes opened for a split second only to find that Jaejoong's tears were now mixing with his.

Jaejoong's body pulsed so vivaciously that he seemed to short-circuit from all the love that was spilling into him, everything Yunho wanted to say and do -- but couldn't. For what seemed like forever, Jaejoong heard nothing but the incredulous screaming of his own heart in unison with the restless shrill of Yunho's. The splashing of their tears as each one tapped to the floor at their feet, and it all meshed together to sound like that of a waterfall.

A continous stream of emotional goodbyes. Soundless promises never to forget. Vows to never love another.

"I love you," Jaejoong whispered unevenly, finally breaking the kiss on his own when he heard the shattering of his own soul into the pit of his stomach. Eyes still closed, he remained as near to Yunho as his self-control would allow him, continuing to share a narrow breathing space with the one he had dedicated himself to so many years ago.

The last call for Jaejoong's flight was broadcast all throughout the airport.

Fingers pressed forward and fell away from Yunho before Jaejoong stepped back. Yunho swallowed hard, unable to believe that this was really it. The tears shook his eyes so badly that Jaejoong became a blur, and Yunho had to quickly brush away the obstructing liquid. Jaejoong's hands reached forward, taking one of Yunho's and placing it firmly over his heart. "You were here then, you're there now, and you will always be right here, Yunnie-ah. Always..."

When Jaejoong turned away for the final time, he didn't look back. Collecting his bags, Jaejoong rushed as quickly as possible up a neatly carpeted ramp to his designated terminal for pre-flight custom checks.

Yunho ducked into a nearby restaurant, only to keep a close watch on Jaejoong so he made it safely on board.

Jaejoong felt an overwhelming premonition of lonliness, and upon getting a second thought about his plans, he turned back. He almost laughed to himself at what he didn't see. Yunho was gone.

"Why do you have to love me this much, Yunnie-ah..." Brushing away the old and new onslaught of tears, Jaejoong regained his composure and hurried off to board his flight.

~*~

Several hours had passed, and Yunho remained in that restaurant. Eyes fixed on the same terminal, Yunho repeated Jaejoong's words as if it were his favorite broken record.

"You were here then, you're there now, and you will always be right here, Yunnie-ah. Always..."

Layers of tears that were never wiped away were finally met with yet another batch, and Yunho finally smiled once he was able to see everything for what it iwas.

"Always...my Jaejoong-sshi."

AN #1: There are two peices of music I want you to listen to while reading this to get the full affect.
1 - Listen to Insa through scene 1.
2 - Listen to Kiss The Rain through scene 2.
3 - CLICK HERE to open the player.

AN #2: This fic is entirely dedicated to Mina. She drew the extremely beautiful fanart that accompanies this fic, so give her MAD props. ♥ Please DO NOT take the poster image out of here at all. If you want to save it, feel free to do so, but please do NOT post it anywhere else. That fanart belongs solely to pale_opacity, I just asked her permission to use it and center my fic around it. If you want her permission to place it somewhere else, ask her first -- but for now it CAN NOT be image-napped.

Breaking Point Pt. 4

Fri, 04 May 2007 09:34:47 GMT

Title: Breaking Point Pt. 4
Author: Jacqui
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeHo
Summary: Concert incident aftermath -- JaeHo POV.

끊기의 점

Kkeunkiui Jeom

Breaking Point

[Part 4]

Written by: Jacqui

Nothing ever seemed so rarely attained as the love Yunho felt for Jaejoong. Before Yunho could think twice about it, that rarity became his entire world. Yunho could remember how he held Jaejoong's hand as it happened. Or was it Jaejoong that held his hand? Every ounce felt thick with love and agony. Two hearts pounded as one like they never had before. Life was passed in to another in exchange for the hope of a new beginning.

[ Flashback ]

Beep. Beep. Loud chatter.

"...His BP dropped 10 points!"

Beep. Beep.

"...Too much blood! We have to stop the hypohemia!"

Nauseating movement.

Beep. Beep.

"Bring the donor in and hook up the rapid infuser, now!"

Seering pain. Tears that flowed thick like the blood being lost.

"Vitals are dropping...start the infusion!"

An unidentified tremor.

"Jae...joong...ah..."

[ End Flasback ]

Turning his keys in the lock, Yunho gently pushed open the door to Jaejoong's desolate apartment. No one had come here for an entire month except Yunho. No one had the emotional stamina to withstand the floodgate of memories that might swallow them whole should they step even one foot inside. Yunho had difficulty breathing upon seeing a white light burst in his memory. The more Yunho's mind forced him to recall, the more each piece of the following month overwhelmed his conscience.

[ Flashback ]

I entered the room,
Sat by your bed all through the night...

Yunho stepped into the hospital room he knew as Jaejoong's. The same room that Yunho had visited every day after a short lived reunion. Each time Yunho stepped into that room, he felt cold. The feeling of lonliness and despair ate at him like a disease. With a heavy sigh, Yunho took his usual seat beside Jaejoong's bed. Bambi sat dutifully at the end of Jaejoong's bed, perched and protective. The little deer's eyes twinkled when an open door shed new light into the room, but Bambi's expression never changed its serious composure. Today seemed different for Yunho, but he couldn't quite place the source of this notion. Scooting his chair as close as possible, Yunho finally saw it.

"Ah...your bed was tilted up. That's never happened because it has always been flat!" Yunho smiled, though anyone would see that such a smile was for the sake of situation. Yunho couldn't show weakness because he was never raised that way. Jaejoong also needed someone strong. Sliding warm fingers beneath a set of much colder ones, Yunho lifted Jaejoong's hand into his. "Did you wake up while I was gone? That's not fair, Boo..." Shaking his head in a mocking fashion before a quick "tsk" was given, Yunho pulled his lover's hand into his lap. If Yunho had the power, he would have never let Jaejoong do it. Because Yunho was incapable of preventing anything, Jaejoong's rate of consciousness never reached the same level again. Half in or half out, Jaejoong was still half gone.

I watched your daily fight,
I hardly knew...

"Mmm...Jaejoong-ah...the doctor says you're responding more to his treatments...are you getting better and playing sick just so I will have to come see you every day? Greedy BooJae." Crossing one leg over the other, Yunho rolled Jaejoong's hand over so that he could brush his fingers over the lines of his lover's palm. "As you always said...you crave attention, so I guess I can't deny you that." Occasionally, Jaejoong's lashes would flicker as though he heard something Yunho said or felt it when the younger man touched him. The thick plastic mask over Jaejoong's mouth would fog in response to a sigh or light breath, but otherwise remained clear. Yunho hated that mask because it looked as though it were just a nuisance for Jaejoong. The grooves and strap that held the mask in place would dig into Jaejoong's face to leave red marks; making Yunho hate the device twice as much.

"Ne...Bisco In Couple is going to be released soon. I kept my promise and submitted it to the label you asked for...I'll make sure to bring you the first copy, okay? And make sure you sign it...an autographed copy will be worth a lot." Humming that familiar tune that Jaejoong wrote and finally finished, a few tears broke the surface to stream slowly over warm cheeks. "I was only kidding...I would never sell a genuine piece of musical history like that." Jaejoong's fingers curled inward to clutch lightly at the ones that touched him, and Yunho could feel his heart soaring with hope. "You hear me, don't you Jaejoong-ah..."

The pain was almost more than I could bear...

"Nnn..." Jaejoong's brows knit as he felt a sliver of pain slap harshly against his chest, followed by the wrinkling of his nose and a grimace. Such a sight nearly destroyed Yunho every time he witnessed it, and he could only wish he had the ability to take away his lover's distress. Yunho's blood loss was so severe that Jaejoong's heart had been affected by it as a donor. Why did you ever tell them to keep going? Yunho had grown accustomed to asking the same question every day, and even more accustomed to knowing he would never receive an answer. To be honest, Yunho didn't need an answer if he stripped away all the consequences that such a choice had produced. When the bout of pain subsided, Jaejoong's features relaxed as he returned to his quiet breathing.

"I love you so much, Jaejoong..." Yunho whispered, now leaning in to place a gentle kiss to his lover's forehead. "So very much...and you have to make it because I haven't shown you just how much I love you yet..."

[ End Flasback ]

Yunho's eyes closed tightly, his body screaming to be released from the fresh pain that seized him. Everything seemed so intangible. I don't know if I can do this anymore. It was all so recent, and the wounds were far from healing. The once happy and vibrant Jaejoong had been confined to that bed. For what? The sake of saving a life. Shaking his head, Yunho huffed brokenly as his body collapsed into the nearest chair that would hold him. "What am I supposed to do now, Jaejoong?"

A particular scene began to play that Yunho never wanted to revisit.

Emotions began to swell inside that Yunho never wanted to feel again.

[ Flashback ]

"I love you so much..."

"I know."

A soft, but weak voice accompanied by a shaky brush of fingers over a cheek.

"No you don't! I haven't even shown you!"

Tears fell. So realistic. So heavy.

"I do. That day showed me."

"Jaejoong-ah...don't make this so easy! You can't give up...I won't let you. I refuse to let you...I demand that you don't give up!" Yunho's face was marked by old and new tears with the energy of a waterfall. An increasing amount of salty liquid stung at Yunho's vision, but never entirely marred that beautiful face below.

"Don't..raise your voice to a hyung..." A scoff was heard, followed by a short coughing spell. "Yunnie-ah...I just gave more than I was able..."

"Tsch..."

"You're alive...ne?" Jaejoong gave a smile which was tainted with weakness, and that smile both hurt and thrilled Yunho. Slowly, Jaejoong lifted a single IV punctured arm to cradle his lover's face with the gentle cup of a hand. "So it had good...results..." Jaejoong only looked at Yunho for a split second before shuddering lashes fell to a close.

"Not if you die in my place! I won't have this, Jaejoong...you're going to survive this simply because I say so!" Shaking his head repeatedly in disbelief, Yunho's hands wrapped carefully around Jaejoong's wrist. "You promised to never leave me...you promised!"

"I know. Mianhae...I don't think I can..." Jaejoong winced as he arched his back just slightly from the bed, and Yunho's breath caught in his throat. "Can't...keep that promise..." Yunho's eyes widened and he almost held on tighter to Jaejoong if not for the countless IV tubes.

"If you leave me, I'm coming after you. I can't be left here alone without you...there's no way!" Yunho leaned in and pressed his forehead against the side of Jaejoong's face. "Jaejoong-ah..." Jaejoong's arm moved to rest over his lover's shoulder, the hand that once touched a face dangled limply in mid-air before it curled over the back of Yunho's neck. Jaejoong's chest heaved as he fought to keep himself within the walls of life, though a firm nudge of death was steadily taking over.

"Don't...be stubborn. I...I want you to know...something..." Swallowing a thick substance that crept into his throat, Jaejoong groaned before he forced heavy lids to rise. Yunho pulled back just enough to catch Jaejoong's gaze, and the anguish they both saw in each other was like a knife to the heart. Jaejoong took a few moments to capture the essence of Yunho's face, so mature and masculine even as he cried like a little boy.

"Mwo...?" Sniffing back his tears, Yunho stared helplessly with parted lips and waited. If watching his lover die didn't kill him, Yunho knew for a fact that it wouldn't be long after.

"I wrote something...for you," Jaejoong coughed, now trying with all the strength he had left inside of him to lift his body from the bed. Yunho's hands flew forward to grip Jaejoong's sides, adjusting the older man's posture so that he was lying at an angle moreso than sitting straight up. Arms that were tired of moving slid into place so that Jaejoong's hands lightly held either side of Yunho's face. "A song...I...mng..." Jaejoong's body buckled with more pain. Tears of every emotion imaginable tore themselves from Jaejoong's eyes, and Yunho felt as if he might die there with the older man. "My Yunnie-ah...I love you..."

"Don't talk like that..." Yunho choked out, shaking his head again as he leaned forward to press a tender kiss to Jaejoong's lips. Jaejoong was wavering in between the desire to enter eternal sleep and the need to remain eternally with the man beside him.

"Say it back...please...uhn..." Jaejoong's voice had quickly been reduced to a whimpering dryness, and Yunho knew that they were losing the fight. With a quivering chin, Yunho's eyes darted back and forth across his lover's mixed expression.

"I love you, Kim Jaejoong. Always..." With that, Yunho tugged Jaejoong's body against his as though he were never planning to let go. Jaejoong shuddered as he felt his heart convulsing inside of him. It was the very instant where death had the strongest grip and life was crushed. Yunho's eyes slammed shut, forcing out the fragile pool of tears that rested just at the brink. Jaejoong's body shivered in Yunho's embrace, his lips barely moving when his eyes closed for the last time.

"Heaven...is a place...nearby...so I won't be...so far away..."

"Don't–"

A heavy breath was heard.

A sob cracked over a beeping machine.

One of two bodied ceased any further movement.

Jaejoong's head tipped to a final rest against Yunho's shoulder.

You just faded away,
You spread your wings, you had flown,
Away to something unknown,
Wish I could bring you back...

[ End Flasback ]

Yunho sat alone in his lover's apartment, curled up on a rocking chair in one corner of the living room. Yunho knew the chair once belonged to the older man's grandmother, and was handed down as a housewarming gift. Jaejoong loves this thing more than any other peice of furniture he owns, Yunho thought to himself. Swaying his body slowly in the rickety wooden chair, Yunho sighed heavily and gazed out the window. Ice crystals had formed in the lower parts of the window frame; the glass fogged up with each breath Yunho took. Eyes that had once burned so brightly had now burned to death with a new loss. A loss that was too devastating to live through.

"You should have said no...Jaejoong-ah..." Another sigh was expelled from dry lips, and Yunho curled up tighter in his seat. Swallowing the solid lump of tension in his throat, Yunho stared straight ahead of him with no focus point. Lying his head back against the polished surface of the wooden headrest, Yunho's sight blurred with remembrance. The cancer had progressed to a significant stage of its malignancy, and thus committed horrendous invasions on Yunho's mentality at the drop of a dime. Every doctor Yunho visited had done experiments, tests or lab screens, and even the classic option of chemo-therapy was given a try. Yunho was, by then, on so much medication for his pain that he rarely had any physical feeling left. Eventually, all attempts to help or remedy Yunho's steadily decreasing mortality were abandoned.

"Why bother if...you're not here with me? I could be saving my own life but...it almost doesn't seem fair..." Clammy hands lifted a thick piece of clothing into their grasp until Yunho was able to press his face into it. A woven sweater of black and blue which was soft, yet old as time itself. Jaejoong always wears this stupid thing, Yunho mused. Inhaling the must-tainted fragrance that identified his lover as the sweater's owner, Yunho clung to it like a lifeline. Digging his fingers into the carefully crocheted wool, Yunho's heart began to melt. "You understand, don't you Jaejoongie?"

Heaven is a place nearby,
So I won't be so far away,
And if you try and look for me,
Maybe you'll find me someday,
Heaven is a place nearby,
So there's no need to say goodbye,
I will ask you not to cry,
I'll always be by your side...

The song had been playing for hours on end, and Yunho never once had the heart to turn it off. Jaejoong's angelic voice had once again shown the true image of a song that was written for only him to sing. Each lyric floated through the air, nesting within Yunho's heart like stitches that were meant to mend. Yunho came across the sheet music by pure accident when dusting off Jaejoong's prized piano. Lying across the keys, each paper was full of notes or doodles that proved how Jaejoong's ADD was a fact. Above the song's title, Jaejoong had written one single memo that was indeed meant for Yunho's eyes only.

Yunnie-ah,

I hope this song can make you believe in some small way that my heart is yours. Please listen to this, and imagine every word as your own thought, not just my voice singing it to you. I love you, Yunho.

- Jaejoong xoxo

At least by now, after having read the memo and lyrics as they were intended, Yunho was no longer confused by Jaejoong's last words. Yunho's Heaven was within Jaejoong, and Jaejoong's Heaven was the knowledge that Yunho would always be within him. That, in Yunho's conclusion, was the Heaven that his song spoke of. Jaejoong never wanted any goodbyes spoken, Yunho knew this. Goodbyes were forever. Nevertheless, with the reassurance of a Heaven within themselves that kept them alive, no goodbyes would ever be needed.

And even when I go to sleep,
I still can hear your voice,
And those words,
I never will forget...

As Yunho felt the fatigue of his own illness, weary eyes lowered with a calm sigh. Yunho's song continued to flow about the room, weaving a blanket of comfort and peace around his soul in preparation for his last reunion.

- END -

Notes:

o1. This was for those people who actually DID want to know what happened when Yunho was taken off in the ambulance.

o2. Mwo means what.

o3. If you have any questions or you're confused with something, let me know in a comment. XD;

o4. I suggest you listen to the song I chose for this finale.
>> Lene Marlin - A Place Nearby.mp3
>> Lene Marlin - A Place Nearby Lyrics

Lesser Of Two Evils [Prologue]

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 01:31:57 GMT

Title: Lesser Of Two Evils [Prologue]
Author: Jacqui & Mina
Rating: NC17
Pairing: JaeHo/JaeChun
Summary: JaeHoChun in the porn industry.

Lesser Of Two Evils

[Prologue]

Written by: Jacqui & Mina

"I'm afraid this isn't the role for you. Try again next time."

Yunho leaned back in his chair as he watched another hopeful with a dejected face walk off the stage.

Running his fingers through his already tousled hair, he looked at his watch and concluded that it was almost time to wrap things up. Sighing, Yunho's gaze was wandering over the list of those who were accepted. All the female roles were filled, but the male role just wasn't producing a lead.

Yunho was disappointed. The new movie he was directing needed the perfect character. Yet all the ones that were auditioning didn't meet his standards. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Yunho came to the reluctant decision that perhaps he might be needing to call back one of the men he had turned away.

The click of the doorknob indicated that someone was entering the room, and upon looking up from his list, Yunho's heart dropped.

"I'm sorry, this audition is for the male role...the female role has been filled."

The contestant sauntered in, smirking at the comment while starting to lift their shirt. Interested, Yunho remained watching in amazement at what the newcomer was revealing to him...

Flat breasts?

Yunho was left utterly speechless.

This was no woman.

Rather, it was a stunningly beautiful man.

Advert Posters:
Fixing.

*The woman used in the second poster is Lisa Kim. She's a korean model.

Family Movie Night

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 12:58:20 GMT

Title: Family Movie Night
Author: Jacqui
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeHo
Summary: Movie night for the Dong Bang family.

Family Movie Night

Written by: Jacqui

It was nearly a full hour past midnight, and two of the five band members had managed to keep themselves awake through yet another late night movie. The credits for Pumhaeng Zero began scrolling slowly up one half of the television screen ahead, the other half filled with NG scenes that were apparently an extra feature treat. The lucky survivors of the slumbering hold that seemed to choke everyone else? Kim Jae Joong and Jeong Yun Ho.

"Yoochun is drooling on himself again..." Jae Joong whispered, tugging the solid warmth of a dark blue comforter a little tighter around him. Yun Ho chuckled quietly to himself, lifting a mug of cocoa to his lips to take a quick sip before his eyes drifted to Yoochun's slothed out form on the carpet below.

"That's Yoochun."

"We'll have to clean him off and get them all into bed soon." Jae Joong's head dropped languidly to the side, coming to a rest on Yun Ho's shoulder. Yun Ho's lips twisted into a slight smile as his sights grazed over the three youngest members of his second family. It was strange, but Yun Ho had always had the strongest of wills to protect and guide when it came to the 'babies' of the group, but he rarely felt that with Jae Joong.

"Mm," Yun Ho agreed, "after the movie is over."

"But—"

"Shh." Yun Ho lifted his free arm to slide it into place around Jae Joong's shoulder, now turning to press a kiss to the older boy's sandy blond hair. Jae Joong sighed lightly, a low hum in his throat that mirrored his concession. The credits continued to roll until the very end, though a seemingly different clip began to play.

Jae Joong smiled contentedly. Yun Ho's idea of a movie being over was when the DVD went back to the root menu, and this was something Jae Joong knew to a fault. But this, Jae Joong never complained about; the very rare moments that he and Yun Ho had to feel like the parents they someday hoped to be — and in some ways — were already.

"The making of the movie doesn't count," Jae Joong whispered jokingly, his smile now very evident in words alone. Yun Ho brought his cup up for another go, and he snorted a half-laugh into it. Junsu twitched within sleep as he tugged his pillow closer, and Yun Ho slid his fingers under the thin fabric of Jae Joong's shirt sleeve to gently caress the ivory skin hidden beneath. Thick lashes lazily fluttered to a close, his head rolling up to nuzzle into the crook of Yun Ho's neck.

"Did you drink all of your chocolate?" Yun Ho breathed out, tilting his head toward Jae Joong's lips once they were felt against his skin.

"Yes, appa..." Jae Joong cooed in response, a single hand sneaking out from the depths of his blanket to rest lightly against Yun Ho's chest. Yun Ho felt his body warm up at the endearing choice of title, he set his cocoa on a small table beside him. It was then no surprise to Jae Joong when he felt Yun Ho's freed hand covering the one on his chest.

"Mine probably tasted better."

The loving brush of Jae Joong's lips had progressed into feather-light kisses to bronze flesh.

"Aah...guess we'll never know."

"Jae Joong ah," Yun Ho sighed, pulling back so that his gaze was flickering over Jae Joong's dazed expression. "I'll prove it." With that, Yun Ho leaned down to steal Jae Joong's lips with his own. Reveling in how Yun Ho never missed a beat of emotion when their lips touched, Jae Joong purred softly as his fingers curled over and over against Yun Ho's chest. Their mouths opening wider for only a few seconds to give their union more depth, the kiss ended as sweetly as it had begun when Jae Joong was the first to slowly pull away. This didn't stop Yun Ho, and he only dipped his head forward to nuzzle his nose against the smooth skin of Jae Joong's face.

"Proven," Jae Joong finished, his lips still graced with a smile even as they were now pursed together. This point in time was a blissful one for Jae Joong. Though, it would have occured to Jae Joong that both cups actually held matching tastes in cocoa, had Yun Ho's affections not been so attentively lavished on him as they were at that very moment. Chang Min abruptly sat up, a hand rubbing his slumber-ridden eyes as he looked around in confusion. Jae Joong and Yun Ho both looked toward the youngest Dong Bang, Jae Joong's giggling muffled by the blanketing of Yun Ho's hand.

"Chang Min-ah...the movie is over. Let's go to bed," Yun Ho whispered, nodding toward the television screen as it now resided on the DVD's root menu. Jae Joong's hands found their way to Yun Ho's hand to pry it away from his mouth, smacking his lips before lifting himself from the couch he and Yun Ho were sharing.

"Min-ah...let's go to bed," Jae Joong reiterated, holding both hands out in front of him for Chang Min to take. Yun Ho smiled as he watched, Jae Joong carefully lifting Chang Min to his feet before moving on to the last two. Junsu was up with a few quick tugs on his arm, and he was soon helping Jae Joong in waking Yoochun. Having an idea, Junsu leaned in close and whispered something inaudible to anyone else but Yoochun — which caused two pairs of eyes to snap open.

"Ne...bedtime," Junsu added, trying to hide his laughter with a groggy tone of voice. Jae Joong fought back his own desire to laugh, and he helped the last two boys onto their feet.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The light in Dong Bang's bedroom was flicked off, a few rounds of 'annyeonghi' being whispered into and within the darkness. Eventually, Jae Joong returned to the living room where Yun Ho was still seated quietly on the couch. Moving slowly back to Yun Ho, Jae Joong reclaimed his seat beside the younger boy and leaned against him. Yun Ho re-arranged the blanket comfortably around the both of them, then lifted the remote to replay the making of the movie. Jae Joong's smile of contentment returned as he felt the safe and reassuring embrace of Yun Ho's arms sliding around his waist.

"Sarang hae, Yunnie-ah."

"Mn...nado sarang hae, BooJae."

Notes:

oo1. Annyeonghi = Goodnight

oo2. Nado = Basically means 'too.' [ "I love you, too." ]

oo3. This one was for Mina. We discussed this prior and I told her I would write a JaeHo fluff with a family-like feel. ♥

Love You To Sin

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 09:18:35 GMT

Title: Love You To Sin
Author: Jacqui
Rating: PG
Pairing: HoSu
Summary: Confessions on the beach.

Love You To Sin

Written by: Jacqui

The beach was so loud whenever he and Yun Ho would go for one of their pre-sunset beach excursions. It almost became a ritual for the two of them to pay a visit at least twice a week. Ordinarily, the two of them would gather a few seashells and various other trinkets the shoreline revealed to them, splash around in the water, then return home. But today felt different to Yun Ho. This time...this time even the loud crash of the salt-laced waves couldn't block out the softness of a long waiting confession.

I love you.

He stood only a few feet away from Yun Ho now, hands clasped in front of him as the tips of his fingers brushed lightly over a neatly chipped sand dollar.

"Where did that come from?" Yun Ho answered, blinking slowly with a tilt of his head.

"I just felt like saying it," Junsu replied slowly, though Yun Ho knew better than to take those words as they were given.

"You don't just say something like that the way you did and expect me not to question it."

"You don't have to question it." Junsu lowered himself, pressing both knees into the sand for balance. Yun Ho glanced at Junsu's fidgeting hands, which meant that Junsu wasn't telling the full truth.

"I think I know where this is headed..." Yun Ho sighed, taking a seat beside Junsu as the younger boy turned his gaze away and out toward the wide expanse of ocean ahead.

"You say that like you knew the entire time."

"Maybe I have." Junsu sighed as he listened to the high frequency of silence that followed. Biting his lip, Yun Ho slowly reached for one of Junsu's hands, tearing it away from its twin and holding it gently within his grasp.

"Don't say it."

"For you to even feel that way about me..." Yun Ho swallowed, tugging on the hand he held so as to signal that he wanted the other's attention. But Junsu's gaze never left the water, and that pale blue seemed to echo in the younger boy's eyes as the first sign of tears began to show. "It puts you at odds with your family..."

"Don't..."

"...Not to mention your religion."

"Stop it."

"I..." Junsu's body had begun to tremble, and Yun Ho felt his only method of consolation would be to embrace his band mate -- but would that give him the wrong idea? Inhaling slowly, he released Junsu's hand, though instead, he brought that hand up to rest against the side of Junsu's face.

"You can't allow yourself to get so carried away with something that could be--"

"What? A sin in the eyes of everyone but me? I-If I were to love anyone but you...I would be at odds with myself. I can't keep on denying how I feel...I've done it too often and even moreso when I see the others being so close to you as I wish I could be." A single tear burned a path over Junsu's skin as his eyes closed, his head shaking slowly from side to side. "Do you really want me to deny myself that peace?"

"Do you really want me to forsake everything I believe in...everything you seem to have forgotten?"

"If I were you--"

"I can't do that...as much as I believe in love...I can't believe it could happen without sin...if it were between two men." Yun Ho shook his head, his hand falling free of Junsu's cheek just as he felt a light nuzzling begin. "Mianhae..."

"Then..." Junsu whispered, lifting himself to a stand with the power of his own hurt and Yun Ho's rejection. Unable to think of a proper response for the other boy, Yun Ho simply watched as Junsu turned and began to head away from the endless sparkling sea he had once viewed with such a bright smile on his face.

"Where are you going?" Yun Ho called out. A last minute question had finally formed, though it was far too cliche for Yun Ho's own taste as he mentally scolded himself for it. Junsu stopped just long enough to voice his response.

"According to what we believe in...hell."

--------

Yun Ho blinked as everything blurred before his eyes, the sound of water amplifying in the distance. Seconds later, Yun Ho's vision cleared and he was face to face with Junsu, the younger boy's hands on his shoulders as if to hold him in place.

"I'm sorry...our religions wouldn't allow it, Yun Ho sshi."

Notes:

oo1. The title is probably confusing. But this should clear it up: It's a play on the slang phrase "love you to death."

oo2. This one was done for Mai's [ HoSu: Beach, angst, religion ] prompt. So this one is for her~ ♥

Requests?

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:39:43 GMT

I'm gonna start taking requests for fics. Right now, since that's what I'm most focused on, I'll take requests for korean music/industry related fics. It can deal with pairings or not, I really don't care. If I don't know much about something when someone requests it, I'll let you know in the comments, but it's pretty open right now. I need something to do. XD;;

The only thing that's NOT wide open is giving me a request without a prompt. 8D I have only half a brain and the half that's missing has with it all my ideas for a plot. I have an imagination for writing out a plot, I just have to be given an idea for one before I write. XD;;;;

So I NEED a prompt. The prompt can have one or several details involved, I don't care about that, but as long as I can make sense of it and it's plausible enough -- and I really have no limits there either -- I'll write it. :D;;;

Annyeong

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:12:22 GMT

Title: Annyeong
Author: Jacqui
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeChun then YunChun
Summary: Yoochun ends a three year long relationship.

안녕

Annyeong

Goodbye

Written by: Jacqui

"But...I'm the one who loves you more...I...I don't understand..." Jae Joong choked out, tears threatening to fall though he willed them back. Why did Yoochun have to do this? Especially in the same public place they had declared, three years prior, their desire to be together?

"I know, Jae Joong ah...I know." Yoochun raised both hands, cupping Jae Joong's face before giving his band mate a solemn smile. "But you're not more in love with me than he is."

"Yun Ho yah." Jae Joong whispered the name as quietly as if he were trying to keep it a secret. It seemed to Jae Joong they had only been together for a few days at the most, even if it had been six years and five months after Dong Bang Shin Gi had debuted. His body shook weakly, heart melting beneath Yoochun's touch and words.

"We have our problems, I know. We've always had our problems...we might always have them...but I think that's what keeps us going without allowing ourselves to fall entirely beyond the point of never coming back to the top. Somehow...Yun Ho always brings me back up....and I always bring him back up."

"But -- "

"Yeah...we'll probably always keep bringing one another down...and it seems like such an endless spiral. Like it will never...ever end. Makes me wonder sometimes just how many people would disapprove of a relationship that doesn't appear to work at all..." Yoochun smiled faintly, his eyes glancing around him before lifting to the cloud-ridden sky above the two of them.

"I disapprove...I...I can't see how you two can -- "

"Jae Joong ah..." Yoochun's gaze returned to his older band mate, that solemn smile still perfectly intact. "That, I think, is the best part about it. As ironic as our relationship might be...we aren't swayed from one another at all. Everyone else might expect us to fail when looking at it from the outside...but even as we tend to do so...we just get better every time. Slowly, but we get better. Some love...is justified with such a fate. Whether Yun Ho and I can be a prime example of that idea...I'm not sure...but I can honestly say it wouldn't surprise me."

"Yoochun ah...please...give me a chance to fall in love. You haven't even given me a chance..."

"It's not that I don't want to, Jae Joong ah..." Leaning forward, Yoochun pressed a light kiss to Jae Joong's forehead. "If my heart had never chosen Yun Ho...believe me...you would be the one..."

"That's a lot of comfort coming from someone who's not choosing me in the first place!" Jae Joong's voice was filled with so much hurt that Yoochun almost took it all back. Brows furrowing as a look of guilt shone through his eyes, Yoochun shook his head.

"I'm not out to hurt you, Jae Joong ah. I never wanted to hurt you...and I do love you very much. My love for you just isn't as deep -- "

"Yah! I know all of this...but you don't need to go through the constant failures...you don't deserve that and neither does Yunnie ah! You both deserve someone who is going to make you happy more than they make you unhappy..." Jae Joong's hands had risen to latch onto Yoochun's wrists, tearing the younger boy's hands away from his face. "Three years, Yoochun ah...you really want to throw that away?"

"I...I'm not throwing it away...if anything, I couldn't be happier that I had as much time with you as I did. You taught me a lot in three years of being my lover than I think you could have if we remained friends..."

"Don't." Jae Joong lifted both hands in front of him, his eyes now equally reflecting his serious tone of voice. "Spare me the list." Sighing heavily, Yoochun stuffed his hands into his pockets, attention now focused on the ground.

"Look...Jae Joong ah..." Yoochun tried to find the words he needed to say in order to get his decision across more evenly. "I...I really do love you -- "

"Then why are you doing this?" Jae Joong had now lowered his hands to hang loosely at his sides, eyes seemingly mirroring the darkened sky. It seemed rather appropriate to Yoochun that his lover's eyes would become masked in such a way, even if it was a simple reflection.

"Because I'm not in love with you...not like I am with Yun Ho. My heart...it's always belonged to Yun Ho...as much as I know that hurts you -- "

"But you don't know, Yoochun ah. You have no idea... " Jae Joong's jaw tightened, eyes slanting with his growing anger.

"I probably don't. In fact, I know I don't...but I can't go against my own heart. I did that when you and I -- "

"That's enough!" Jae Joong finally looked away from Yoochun, eyes closing as he now bared his teeth. His fingers curled into his palms, arms shaking with the pain of nails driving into his skin due to the force behind his actions. "You can stop telling me how much I've managed to ruin your life and make it better at the same time. Just...go back to him then...I won't keep begging since you've made your point blatantly clear already." Yoochun simply sighed, lifting his gaze to Jae Joong's injured expression.

"Jae Joong ah..." Yoochun removed a hand from his pocket, slowly moving his fingers beneath Jae Joong's chin before turning the older boy's face toward his own. "I love you. A part of me will always love you..." Yoochun's eyes felt the all too familiar sting of tears that wanted to come free, and it grew easier to give in to those tears the more he took in Jae Joong's features. The curvature of his lips as they frowned, brows bowed up and then slanted with a mixture of unspoken emotion.

"If you love him so much more...why are you still here?" Jae Joong asked quietly, his eyes now finding the strength to meet directly with Yoochun's. Smiling faintly, Yoochun pulled Jae Joong's face closer, closing the distance with a gentle kiss to quivering lips. Jae Joong knew it was Yoochun's style of saying goodbye rather than using words or cliche phrases. Yoochun was just that passionate about how he wanted to convey his intent toward someone, he would put forth more effort than most in order to get his point across. A throaty whimper was heard from Jae Joong's side, and in that kiss Jae Joong could truly feel the bleeding of his own heart. The heavy, yet strangled pounding which occured whenever one's heart was about to perish. Finally, Yoochun broke that goodbye kiss but kept their lips close.

"I love you, Jae baby. Always. Don't you ever...forget that." Fingers falling away from beneath Jae Joong's chin, Yoochun turned around without another word or action. And Yoochun ran; ran back to the one he had been so adamant on giving himself to from the very beginning.

"Yoochun ah..." Jae Joong's eyes had closed the moment Yoochun's lips touched his, and it wasn't until several minutes after Yoochun was gone, Jae Joong's eyes re-opened. An empty feeling began to overwhelm the eldest Dong Bang Shin Gi member, and the feeling only heightened when the rain began to fall. A heavy, and especially cold rain. Arms still at his sides, though no longer shaking, Jae Joong stared ahead of him at where Yoochun once stood. Icy liquid combed through jet black hair, dripping down and over skin that barely felt it, quietly absorbing itself into clothing. Jae Joong finally allowed himself to cry. Through the blinding translusence, Jae Joong heard for the first time what Yoochun was trying to say.

Annyeong.

-------

Yun Ho was seated on the couch, when the front door slowly cracked open. Yoochun stepped into the apartment and pushed the door shut behind him, then leaned back against the comfortingly hard wood.

"You're soaked," Yun Ho muttered, "and shaking. What's wrong?" Yoochun laughed nonchalantly, pushing himself away from door before moving further into the apartment.

"It's raining outside, Yun Ho yah. I'm wet and cold. It's the same situation outside. Tell you enough?" Yoochun took a seat beside Yun Ho on the couch, his back slumped against the pillows his band mate had been using to support his now casted leg on moments before. Raising a brow, Yun Ho reached forward and felt Yoochun's forehead, in which case Yoochun pulled away.

"You've been crying. What happened?" Yun Ho was getting a little more than worried with Yoochun's silence and mannerisms toward him. Yoochun slowly turned to face his band leader, a light, but telling smile gracing his features.

"I broke up with Jae Joong." Yun Ho was taken aback, but kept his curiosity under enough control to maintain a straight face.

"Why?"

"It wasn't going to work." Yoochun's voice was more than strained, and Yun Ho could only sigh in response. Setting his book aside, Yun Ho scooted closer to Yoochun, pulling his younger band mate into a gentle embrace.

"It took you three years to find this out?"

"No...it took me a single second. But...I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt you. I also wanted to stop hurting myself..." Swallowing hard, Yoochun pressed his cheek against Yun Ho's chest with a shaky sigh. "I love him...but..."

"Yoochun ah...if you loved him, why did you -- "

"I'm in love with you. I was even in that split second I knew it could never work with Jae Joong. I was the first month after we were together. The first year. The second year. There wasn't a moment in between where I wasn't in love with you, Yun Ho." Yoochun's eyes lowered to a close, and he leaned more against Yun Ho's body. "I gave up a good person for you..."

"I never asked you to -- "

"Don't. Just tell me we'll be okay..." Yoochun's eyes welled with tears at the suggestive negativity in Yun Ho's response, as well as the obvious tremor of emotion laced within the elder's voice.

"We'll be okay, Yoochun ah." Yun Ho's grip on Yoochun's body tightened, and Yoochun felt his chin being lifted before opening his eyes to find a teary-eyed Yun Ho gazing back at him. "We've always been okay in the end, ne?" Slowly leaning down, Yun Ho pressed a light kiss to Yoochun's lips. Yoochun returned that kiss, gently pulling back before giving Yun Ho the same doe shaped eyes that were Jae Joong's trademark suction for sympathy.

"Isn't that the beauty of it? You never had to ask me..." Yoochun retaliated. Yun Ho smiled with definite understanding.

"I guess it'll have to be, if you can see beauty in a situation like this, that would be it." The two of them remained in each other's arms, not speaking or making any movement unless it was to breathe.

Jae Joong came home later that night, having used his time well in creating a mask of false reprieve.

Reality Is Beautiful

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:27:29 GMT

Title: Reality Is Beautiful
Author: Jacqui
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeHo
Summary: XMan-JaeHo rematch -- cheating and confessions.

Reality Is Beautiful

Written by: Jacqui

The first episode of XMan that featured all of Dong Bang Shin Gi was finally over. But, the competition between the group's two eldest members continued -- even as everyone was in the company van and on their way home. Fortunately, Jae Joong and Yun Ho were seated in the front while the other three had eagerly claimed the back seat so as to avoid the crossfire.

"I knocked you down first. That makes me the winner." Jae Joong turned to Yun Ho with his arms folded over his chest, a single brow arched as he smirked.

"Technically, me winning the second round was an override for your win. I'm the winner." Yun Ho knew that was a sly answer, giving himself a mental pat on the back.

"We're not being technical." Ouch, one for Jae Joong.

"I'm still the winner." Default replies never fail.

"Yah...how does that even make sense?!"

"Because I said it." Yun Ho turned to face Jae Joong as he spoke, now wearing a smirk that was slightly bigger than the one Jae Joong had given him previously.

"Yun Ho..."

"I was the last to win, after I won, our match was over." Yun Ho was determined to win this.

"Ne...since we're being 'technical' and all..." Jae Joong even lifted both hands to give a sarcastic quotation with two fingers. "You fell with me during the second round...so your win still doesn't count." Jae Joong smiled and refolded his arms over his chest, and Yun Ho could only stare as Jae Joong executed that last reality check with ease. Jae Joong wasn't right in full, but Yun Ho knew his band mate was closer than he was. Yun Ho took a moment to think about what Jae Joong had said, and all the while the three youngest were bantering on in the backseat about the bitter cola story.

"Okay, Jae Joong ah...let's rematch. Third and last time, winner takes all." Yun Ho's answer came just as Jae Joong was opening his mouth to tease his band leader.

"A rematch?" Jae Joong asked, his lips just barely parted and his tongue beginning to poke through as if he were in deep thought on the idea. "We can't, Yun Ho ah. We would need the monkey bars...and the studio has probably been locked up...wouldn't we get in trou -- "

"We don't need those, we can do this at the house...no reason to go back." Yun Ho only smiled and patted Jae Joong's shoulder, giving him a mock sympathetic look. "Unless you're happy with your excuses before, I wouldn't want to ruin the idea of you believing you won."

"Are you patronizing me?" Jae Joong had the faintest hint of a smile on his lips, but otherwise remained almost deadpan at this idea.

"I wouldn't do that, Jae Joong ah."

"You did and you are..."

"Are you up for it or not?"

"If a rematch means me being able to prove that I beat you the first time..." Jae Joong felt the hinting smile grow into a full on grin, "I'm up for it."

-------

All members of Dong Bang Shin Gi had skurried off to bed, having lost all energy to watch yet another display of competitive activity, which left Jae Joong and Yun Ho alone to themselves. Yun Ho had allowed Jae Joong to choose which kind of rematch they would have, but as Yun Ho meandered his way into the living room after having a quick snack in the kitchen, his entire expression fell blank.

"There. Hop on, leadersshi!" Jae Joong whispered happily, taking his place atop one of two dirty clothes hampers he had set up for what would be part of the 'final match.'

"These can't hold us...we'll fall over before we get a chance to do anything," Yun Ho shot back, pointing to both hampers and shaking his head.

"I put cement blocks beneath them, you'll be fine!" Jae Joong replied quickly, lifting Yun Ho's hamper before he pointed at a thick block of cement that lay beneath. "See?"

"Mwo...how did you get those in here?!"

"I carried them...how else?"

"Aish...this is what I get for letting you choose the game..." Yun Ho sighed, taking precaution as he slowly stepped onto the hamper after Jae Joong set it back down and lightly patted it.

"Now, I'm sure you know this game...we hold up our hands -- "

"And I push you off your hamper, got it." Yun Ho smiled nervously, feeling that his hamper was a little tipsy already. Jae Joong lifted both hands in front of him, and Yun Ho did the same.

"Don't chicken out, now..." Jae Joong coaxed.

"Wouldn't give you the satisfaction, BooJae." Yun Ho then counted to three, and Jae Joong said go. The game was on, and there was no turning back now. Jae Joong leaned forward to throw his hands at Yun Ho's. Yun Ho pulled back, and Jae Joong wobbled but regained his balance. Jae Joong curled his fingers in, then stretched them back out as he thrust them forward again. Yun Ho's attention was lost on other things and he was pushed back, though swung his arms out to row his body back into position.

"Don't fall, ne..." Jae Joong purred, taking a single step forward with one foot before slamming his hands into Yun Ho's a split second after he'd regained his composure.

"We'll see who falls first." Yun Ho's hands met in a loud smack with Jae Joong's, and they began pushing one another in opposite directions. Jae Joong had this smile on his face that just wouldn't go away, while Yun Ho focused clearly on the game at hand. Jae Joong felt himself beginning to slip, and thus slid his feet back across the hamper with a few squeaks. Bleach blond tresses clung to the back of Jae Joong's neck as he swallowed hard, noting that Yun Ho's forehead looked a little damp as well.

"You're cheating...can't hold my hands like that..." Jae Joong felt his adrenaline picking up, sensing that he was going to lose if he didn't keep his strength at the same level. Yun Ho blinked away the pain he had in his ankles, feet already tingling due to sleepiness.

"Then let go," Yun Ho panted, continuing to push just as hard as Jae Joong was. It was difficult for even Jae Joong to believe, but the sweat against his face and the back of his neck was making it harder for him to think. They weren't really using so much power behind their actions were they? Yun Ho felt his shirt beginning to cling to his upper body as he cleared his throat, locking fingers with Jae Joong when he got tired of waiting for the older boy to let go. If Jae Joong wasn't going to give in on his own volition, Yun Ho had to force him into it. A tiny smirk formed over Yun Ho's lips, tongue pressing hard against the roof of his mouth in concentration.

"No matter who wins...I'm still...stronger..." Jae Joong whispered dryly, eyes slanting as he willed himself to focus on the growing pressure Yun Ho was placing on him.

"Justification isn't needed. You fall...I win." Yun Ho's smirk widened just enough for Jae Joong to notice, and Jae Joong dropped his head forward before sucking in a quick breath. "Tired already? You can give up now...I won't hold it against you..." Yun Ho offered, giving Jae Joong an assumed pre-prevailing smile. Jae Joong inwardly slapped himself to get back into the right frame of mind, finally lifting his eyes to meet the competitive gaze across from him.

"Yun Ho..." Jae Joong began, his fingers curling into the top of Yun Ho's hands as he wobbled forward enough to get closer. Yun Ho and Jae Joong both felt their arms tiring and their legs were beginning to give out, but they kept on pushing despite such minor obstacles.

"Go ahead and say it," Yun Ho boasted, his smile having widened to almost double its previous size. "Say it, Jae Joong ah. 'I give --'" The playfully arrogant band leader was quickly silenced by...

...a kiss.

-------

"Nn--" The muscles in Jae Joong's arms tightened before he tugged forward and leaned in to press his lips against the ones opposite. The contact was so rough that they could both feel the bruising already in progress. Yun Ho's eyes widened at the quick and completely unexpected gesture, his lips parting just enough to gasp against Jae Joong's. The shock value for Yun Ho was so great that Jae Joong took that moment to shove his opponent back. Yun Ho, still lost in his own surprise, cried out and lost his footing. Unfortunately, Jae Joong forgot to disengage their fingers before he played out his perfect method of distraction. Yun Ho's reflexes only caused him to cling tighter to Jae Joong's hands; thus, they both clammored to the floor behind Yun Ho's now tipped over hamper.

"You..."

"Won!" Jae Joong cheered, both hands spread out on the floor as he pushed himself up to smile over at the younger boy.

"You cheated..." Yun Ho rolled himself over, then sat up as he covered his mouth with a single hand and shook his head.

"You never said I couldn't," Jae Joong added, bending his knees and sliding both legs beneath him. Yun Ho blinked, dropping his hand into his lap as he tried to think more about the fact that he had lost; whether or not it was due to cheating. It all seemed to become quite humorous to Yun Ho, and then he gave the older boy a full smile which revealed his beautiful set of perfect teeth.

"That's true...I can't blame you for taking advantage of no rules...you win Jae Joong ah." Yun Ho laughed a little, then lifted himself to a stand before stepping forward to offer Jae Joong a hand.

"Wait a minute...you're not mad or anything?" Jae Joong took the hand in front of him and rose to full height, tilting his head off to one side in curiousity. "I cheated!"

"So did I...and we both lost because of it." Yun Ho smiled a little wider and patted Jae Joong's shoulder. "Let's clean this up and go to bed...we have to be up early." Yun Ho turned his back on Jae Joong and leaned down to begin picking up the toppled over hampers.

"Yun Ho ah, you're not even going to try and get me back for it!?" Jae Joong was overwhelmed, and he knew how much Yun Ho didn't like cheaters or cheating in general. So why was he letting it slip this time?

"Well, Jae Joong ah..." Yun Ho replied quietly, an epiphany of an idea becoming all too clear to him. Turning to face Jae Joong, Yun Ho took a few steps forward and stopped a mere few inches from where Jae Joong had been standing. Blinking, a brow was arched as Jae Joong's curiosity moved a level higher.

"Ne...?"

"If you're so intent on me getting payback..." Yun Ho's hands darted out to grab either side of Jae Joong's face, pulling him closer until their lips were just barely touching. What intrigued Jae Joong, even amazed him, was that Yun Ho's eyes remained open; Yun Ho's gaze appearing like more than a friendly requital. Jae Joong nearly stumbled back, Yun Ho's breath warm against his lips as a hand jerked up to latch onto one of Yun Ho's wrists.

"Yah..." Jae Joong whispered, eyes frozen on Yun Ho's expression, which was vengeful at first but softened as he pulled Jae Joong's face closer and slowly closed his eyes. The playfully bragging lead vocalist was quickly silenced by...

...a kiss.

-------

"Un--" Yun Ho let a hand fall away from Jae Joong's face, moving it in between a limp arm and a hip to rest on the small of Jae Joong's back. Eyes still open with the remainder of initial astonishment, Jae Joong's fingers began to loosen their hold. Yun Ho gently pressed in closer, moving his lips softly against Jae Joong's. Still feeling Yun Ho's hand against his cheek, warm lips and warmer breath, Jae Joong's heart felt like a pinball inside his ribcage. Jae Joong's next feeling was Yun Ho's fingers around his wrist, closing firmly around it before bringing their hands in between them.

"Mian..." Yun Ho breathed quietly, pressing another light kiss to the corner of Jae Joong's mouth. Jae Joong could do nothing but stare. At least to Jae Joong, when he kissed Yun Ho, it was for a practical purpose. Why was Yun Ho doing the same thing, and making it feel like the purpose was entirely different?

"Then stop..." Jae Joong choked out, his tongue moving forward to dampen his lips as they lightly pulsed with the reminder of Yun Ho's assault. Yun Ho's eyes lowered to watch Jae Joong's tongue, then slowly rose back up to meet a dumbstruck gaze.

"You've been wanting me to do it all day...why stop now?" Yun Ho gave a breathy laugh, brushing their lips together as his eyes fluttered to half-mast.

"What are you talking about?" Jae Joong retorted, stunned by Yun Ho's audacity.

"All through the show--"

"That show is scripted."

"Scripted..."

"As in...it's not reality."

"Were the looks scripted? The blush in your skin?"

"What looks? What blush?!"

"Jae Joong ah..." Yun Ho laughed, this time a bit louder. "I know..." With that, Yun Ho's arm fell away from Jae Joong's waist, and he released the older boy's wrist before turning away with a slight smile on his lips.

"You know what?" Jae Joong called out quietly, Yun Ho's now retreating body disappearing into the hallway as he headed off to bed.

-------

Nearly three hours into the night, Yun Ho was still lying wide awake in his bed. Jae Joong had remained awake as well, though emitting an occasional sound which indicated the act of slumber. Yun Ho knew he had only kissed Jae Joong as a revenge tactic, but now he simply wanted to do it so he could feel those lips again. Arms folded behind his head, Yun Ho stared up at the ceiling and pondered one of the most common questions in the realm of physical attraction. Was he attracted to Jae Joong in that way? It wasn't but a few moments after Yun Ho was deep into analyzing it all, that he heard a bed creak from across the room. Tugging his sheets up and over his body, Yun Ho rolled away from the sound. Bare feet padded across the floor and stopped beside Yun Ho's bed, the weight of a second body landing softly onto the mattress. Yun Ho felt the added pressure behind him, and finally rolled to face it.

"The looks weren't script...neither was the blush..." came the soft whisper of Jae Joong's voice. Hands resting in his lap as he fidgeted, Jae Joong made no effort to look at the younger boy he was speaking to. Yun Ho turned over so that his back was against the mattress, one arm lying idly over his stomach.

"I know..." Yun Ho murmured, the shine in his eyes hidden by the shadows cast throughout the room. Jae Joong tensed at the sensation of Yun Ho's arm sliding around his waist, slowly tugging him closer. Jae Joong finally made it easier for both of them, twisting his body so that he was facing Yun Ho before crawling beneath the sheets with the younger boy.

"Each look was meant to be different, though..." Jae Joong felt himself pressing his face against Yun Ho's chest, arms curled up against his own chest as if he were trying to hide. "I was afraid you would miss that."

"I didn't miss a beat, Jae Joong ah."

"But...it was reality..."

"Boo," Yun Ho laughed lightly, slipping a hand beneath Jae Joong's chin to level their gaze. "That's what makes reality so beautiful." Jae Joong couldn't help but smile at such an incredible use of simple terminology. Yun Ho's mind was sated in knowing the obvious, the both of them had some amount of feelings for each other that reached beyond a platonic barrier. It made sense, after all, and wouldn't it make them fools to ignore such a feeling? Yun Ho smiled softly at Jae Joong, and sealed his final words with a chaste kiss to fully accepting lips.