| Gelt |
[Nov. 17th, 2008|09:08 pm] |
Chocolate coins in golden foil
Double-edged swords had sharp recoil
Taste candy and see
Time to recall the
Ancient miracle of the oil |
|
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| Treasury |
[Oct. 6th, 2008|05:29 am] |
Barrack Obama, John McCain
Joseph Biden, Sarah Pala(i)n
What do they offer
The budget coffer?
Don't let this land go down the drain |
|
|
| BILS and Talk Like a Pirate day |
[Sep. 18th, 2008|11:21 am] |
Avast ye scurvy sons of Nog
Bandana Boys I'd Like to Snog
Shark bait, booty calls
Crow's nests, fearsome squalls
Let's raise a toast of pirate grog! |
|
|
| Peaking |
[Aug. 11th, 2008|09:15 pm] |
Olympical gymnast Steven
Had scores that were quite uneven
He did iron cross
Watched javelin toss
Spokes-modeled a red bike for Schwinn |
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| My Green Message |
[Aug. 4th, 2008|09:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | TBAC | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Courage by the Tragically Hip | ] |
With the price of gas four dollars plus
I'm perplexed by all of this fuss
We all want to be greener
To keep the earth cleaner
So for Christ sake just jump on the bus |
|
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| Gladiators |
[Jul. 24th, 2008|07:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | TBAC | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
A gladiator I saw on the telly
Ended up in a fierce lion's belly
Though nutritious, I know
From the head to the toe
I'd rather eat PB and jelly |
|
|
| Ebonics in Outer Space |
[Jul. 20th, 2008|07:27 pm] |
Hello kids, I'm the Phoenix
Creatin' my mars re-o-mix
Vinyl Sam scratchin'
Soon I be hatchin'
Every Martian goes to Ricks |
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| OK, so I'm going to hell |
[Jul. 19th, 2008|08:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | the big ass chair | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | whatever is playing in this damn Pooh movie I'm being forced to watch | ] |
One morning dear Piglet and Pooh
Found they'd stepped in a big pile of doo
The problem got bigger
When in bounced old Tigger
Who covered himself in it too! |
|
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| The Nerve!!!!! |
[Jul. 18th, 2008|07:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | The Big-Ass Chair | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  mischievous | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace | ] |
A botanist with a venus-fly-trap
Once gave me a case of the clap
He claimed that the "nuisance"
Was simply insouciance
So I promptly delivered a slap! |
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| rewards |
[Jul. 15th, 2008|09:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | the big-ass chair | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | giggly | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Kathy Fong is the Bomb | ] |
While eating some ice cream in June
I was happy and humming a tune
when my honey, quite bare
Implored me to share
So I gladly turned over the spoon! |
|
|
| Struck out |
[Jul. 14th, 2008|08:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
While on a Mid-Eastern excursion
I flirted shamelessly with a cute Persian
He was handsome and coy
A darling sweet boy
But to wild women he had an aversion |
|
|
| Theological Culinary |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|09:18 pm] |
Bless me father for I did bake
Angel food coconut flake
May my confection
Achieve perfection
What's your favorite cake to make? |
|
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| I know you are, but the wrong guy |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|06:53 pm] |
The postman may think he's a dad
Filled the Ave. with lasses and lad
Milkman knows better
Cream cheese beats letter
He counts all the offspring he's had |
|
|
| the postman always rings twice |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|09:05 pm] |
|
The neighborhood postman once thought
The folks on my route are all hot
Especially the women
who set my heart swimmin'
And see all the kids I've begot. |
|
|
| embalming |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|09:02 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | giggly | ] |
A mortician, of whom I have read,
Had reportedly been heard to have said,
Music is calming
While doing embalming
If the volume won't awaken the dead.
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|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2008|05:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | silly | ] |
A mischievous prankster named Di
Stirred up trouble one Fourth of July
She tossed a firecracker
In the lap of a hacker
Which caused his new laptop to fry. |
|
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2008|11:36 am] |
I may come off a bit tasteless
Like tofu, yogurt or bittercress
But it's human to crave
So I'll ride this short wave
And hope my acceptance is gracious |
|
|
| E Pluribus |
[May. 23rd, 2008|09:05 pm] |
I once dated a girl from Honduras
Who lived inside a thesaurus
She mastered the art
To toast a pop tart
And her name had never been on the Jerry Seinfeld Show
(inspired by a request in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tongodeon journal for limericks beginning with the "dated a girl from Honduras" first line.) |
|
|
| 'Tis the Season |
[May. 23rd, 2008|03:23 pm] |
The Summertime is almost here
Freckles and sand fleas instill fear
But cold lemonade
July 4th parade
Will both beat a a trip to Zaire |
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limerick_mania