Library Workers Against Stupid Patrons' Journal
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Library Workers Against Stupid Patrons' LiveJournal:
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| Saturday, February 28th, 2009 | 10:33 pm
[surrenderblue]
 |
today, a man came up the circ desk and said, so, how does one go about getting a job in the library? i said, well, i'm studying to be a librarian. he said, oh well, i guess you'll be single your whole life then. i said, yes, and i plan to own a lot of cats. | | Saturday, February 14th, 2009 | 12:01 pm
[davyjones6]
 |
I feel so bad for children who have parents or caregivers who take them into the library, let them pick out a whole stack of books and THEN ask about getting a library card. You see, to get a library card in my library, you have to fill out an application, show photo ID and proof of your current address. If your current address is not on your ID you can show your check book, a piece of mail, car registration. Basically anything to prove that you can receive mail at that address. AND the first day that you receive your card you are limited to checking out 3 items. After those items are returned you can check out up to 50. Today I had the cutest little boy and girl come in with their live in nanny. They picked out a whole pile of books and as they were gearing up to leave the nanny came and asked me about getting a library card. I explained to her how to go about applying for one, but she did not have proof of her address. She then wanted me to look up the child's card so I could check out on their card. (No can do. Must have a card and cardholder present to check out) The children started to cry at this point because they wanted their books, and of course the nanny gave me a very evil look and said that I wasn't allowing them to check anything out today. I just don't get it. Why wouldn't you find out the procedures and rules BEFORE you get your kids all hyped up and then have to disappoint them. And then you blame it on me! It's not my fault you aren't prepared! | | Thursday, December 18th, 2008 | 3:26 pm
[uruketo] |
Wasn't this a Seinfeld episode ... ?
Many libraries have codes of conduct, and mostly they're OK, sensible. A dress code: no denim, no sandals, nothing too sexy. (Tacky is OK though, haha). Fine, I can dig it. Also behavior: no overt religious preaching to customers, no bad language, no hitting on patrons. Fine, that works too. Keeps things professional. I want to know where SMELL conduct is. I don't mean BO, or gross onion breath, like an old librarian I used to work with. I mean a personal smell on purpose, like perfume, hairspray, etc. It can be just as bad, or even worse than BO. And then there was the rampant mutant smell that was ALIVE!!!!! So I was out on a Friday, and came in the next Monday. I thought I could smell something weird in my office, just hints here and there, but I could not place the smell. Whatever, it went away, eventually. I was out another morning at a meeting and another librarian covered the branch, the same person as the previous time. (Side note: he was a converted Muslim, fine, whatever works for you, though the deep Southern accent was a bit odd with the traditional garb, beard and khufi. Be whatever religion you like, just don't try to convert me.) OK, so I came in said he could go. He was happy cause it was time for prayer. I went to pick up my lunch at the deli, came back, he was gone, and it HIT ME like a punch in the face. He had stopped in the rest room before he left, usually a good move, but apparently he came out and the MIASMA followed him. He had put on some kind of essential oil that totally reeked; I mean patchouli (which I despise) was like "my mother's garlic bread in the oven" (the most delicious smell ever, IMHO) compared to this. My eyes watered, my knees went weak, my stomach heaved and clenched, I literally almost threw up. If it had dissipated, I could have dealt with it, as even the most rancid homeless BO or strongest perfume fades after the person is gone. No such luck, it stayed there for the rest of the day. And he had stopped in my office behind the counter for his bag, and there the stench settled. And there were still hints of it 72 hours later on Monday, like last time. I had to eat lunch on the benches on the other side of our very small library, what I could eat, which wasn't much. I couldn't even stay near the checkout counter, I had to hide out by the far windows. I wish I could have given my clerk a raise for having to deal with it, but thanfully her sense of smell wasn't as sensitive as mine, I do have the nose of a dog. In fact, I think I can still smell it now, in my memory. urgh! It was exactly like that BO that was living in Jerry's car, except we couldn't leave the library unlocked to get stolen, could we? Thankfully he never came to our branch again and last I heard, he moved to Pakistan. I wonder if there is any policy anywhere about something like this. I mean some people are totally allergic to perfumes and hairsprays. And this made a VERY uncomfortable, totally sickening/borderline hostile workplace. It seriously affected my work that day, as in I couldn't do anything in my office for the rest of the day. Any thoughts? | | Wednesday, December 17th, 2008 | 3:45 pm
[darkdanc3r]
 |
Instant Karma is my friend
There is epic stupid in my library. Granted, I'm tired and grouchy after... lets see, at 9 pm tonight it'll be 36 hours with only one hour of sleep. My joints hurt, I've had two nosebleeds, and I just plain don't want to deal with people. So... This girl heads from the center of the library towards the North entrance carrying a damp McDonald's bag with a bowl of salad inside, peeking through a hole where the bag had torn. I stopped her at the door to explain to her that food was not allowed in the library. She countered with some story about how a desk attendant the night before had okayed her keeping her food in the locker she rented so that she could get it later when she needed to eat. Now, this I know is bogus, because all of the desk attendants know that food is never allowed, no matter what. So I explained again that the no-food policy was something she was told about when she rented the locker. She started gesturing with the bag, trying to convince me that she was right and I was wrong. And then the bag split and sent the bowl of salad skittering across the floor, leaving soggy salad in a big spray on the tile and carpet. Instant Karma. I pointed to the salad, and very politely said 'This is why we don't allow food in the library.' She stuttered and mumbled and took some paper towels from the desk attendant to start cleaning up her mess. I was kind of proud of myself for not being rude. Because really? She deserved it. Current Mood:  irritated | | Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 | 7:27 pm
[elnnj]
 |
Where am I?
Female student comes up to me. "I have a bookstore return." She sort of waves a plastic shopping bag at me. I look at her. "I have a bookstore return." "This is the library', I say. "I know", she says, waving the bag, "I have a bookstore return." I try one more time. "This is not the bookstore." The student says, "I know. I borrowed these books from upstairs and I want to return them." I still do not know where the student thought she was or why she thought the phrase "Bookstore return" would lead her to the circ desk. | | Monday, December 15th, 2008 | 7:29 pm
[kerfyat] |
| | Monday, December 8th, 2008 | 11:59 am
[etriple]
 |
The Racist Schmuck!
I had been a clerk in the library system for well over 10 years and at this one particular branch for 7 of them. So I guess it's safe to say that I pretty much knew what I was doing. Our branch manager decided that certain pages could be taught how to charge and discharge items to help out when it was busy, but that was all. They were not allowed to take money for fines or fees or do any new patron registration. So anyway, I'm behind the circulation desk training a page when this guy walks in. He walks over to the desk looks at my page and tells her that he would like to register for a library card. The page explains to him very politely that she is not authorized to do any registrations but the clerk (me) would be more than happy to help him. He simply ignored that and said to her that he wanted her to help him, not me. He would not even look at me and directed all his attention to her. When I spoke to him to again explain that she could not do the registration, he again would not look at me he would not even acknowledge my presence. He goes on to tell my page that he would not talk to one of "those" people and that he wanted her to help him because she was of his kind. OMG.... Well my page was in shock and so was I but I have to hand it to her, she handled it just great. She told him that if he wanted a library card that he would have to talk to one of "these" people and that she by no means was one of his kind. She was a human being, not a racist waste of space! He turned bright read and walked out the door. It was great! We never saw him again, I guess he realized that all the clerical staff at this branch were people of color. To many of "us" people I guess. What a schmuck! | | Thursday, December 4th, 2008 | 1:10 pm
[elnnj]
|
Where is my book should be where is my brain?
Customer comes upstairs to the ref. desk to ask if we are holding a book for her daughter. She called and reserved it and couldn't get in on the day so here she is now. What was the title? Customer does not know but it was for a report on Rwanda. Daughter really needs the book. We look in her reserve list - nothing. We look under daughter's card number, son's card number and back to good old mom's card. Nada. We look up the status of all the books we have on Rwanda. Some are checked out, that's true but none are missing and nothing is in transit. Ask mom again about title - nothing. Mom says that the folks in circ didn't know anything about it - she had just checked out some books. Someone finally asked, were any of the books you checked out on hold for you. Yep, they were. What are some of the books you picked up? Well, this first one is about the Hutus and the Tutsis...which, of course, are the two tribes who have been slaughtering each other in Rwanda for decades... | | Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 | 2:21 pm
[uruketo] |
Guess what, it AIN'T cause you're white, or gay, or whatever ...
We don't like you cause you're a Level 12 Fuckwad! OMG, what is your problem? Nope, not a patron, but my loverly colleague. This is kinda long, there was a LOT of madness. Now I am a really tolerant person; I have zero problem with anyone normal (i.e., pretty much anyone who's not a murderer, drug czar, child molester, rapist, etc.) . You do whatever you like, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone. I really don't care about anything else (religion, race, lifestyle, friends, taste in music, shoe size, whatever). You act OK, you get treated OK. You act like a jerk, you get treated like a jerk. 'Nuff said. Then there was HIM ... He was a truly remarkable mix of rude, stupid, racist, paranoid-delusional and possibly psychotic. I was his supervisor too, oh joy. He said that we all hated him cause he was a "Southern gentleman", that he was the only good librarian in the branch. You are NO gentleman, you are th rudest person I ever met, and you stink as a librarian, you yell at the patrons, especially the kids!! He hated people from other countries ("here's another one just off the boat") so why do you work in the most "culturally diverse" area in the known universe?? He got pissed that he was often the only one out on the floor all morning, while the manager and I (assistant manager) were in the back room, behind the desk, downstairs, at meetings, etc. most of the time, supposedly doing nothing. Hey, we've a buttload of paperwork, etc. to do, it is usually pretty dead most mornings, if it does get busy, just call and well be right out. And you are NEVER alone when 2:30 rolls around and the kids come piling in. Then everyone is out there. You want some of this paperwork and cataloging, help your frickin' self. We also "hate" him because of his supposed lifestyle, though he never came out and admitted anything. We could care less about your lifestyle, another clerk here is bi, we all know it and we love her. She even came on to me, but I declined and she was like, Fine, whatever, how do you want this cataloged? He just loved to have corned beef hash everyday for lunch. Have you ever smelled that when it's cooked in the microwave? It smells like burning dog food. Gross! He was pissed that two clerks got temporary transfer (a few days) when they were re-roofing the branch. Um, one is pregnant, the other is asthmatic, and breathing tar fumes all day is especially bad for both of them. I'm here, I hate it, but I ain't whining, ya wuss. Also that one of the clerks hated him cause her husband "lost jobs to the white man" (they're Hispanic), The clerk has zero problem with "white people", all three of our Hispanic clerks liked me and the manager just fine, and we are "worse" than white, we're Jewish! Actually, that branch was mostly "people of color" and it was one of the coolest branches I ever worked at. Everyone got along and worked together very well, except of course, HIM. He flatly refused to help set up for the programs (set up chairs, etc.) , as he was "not hired out for manual labor". But he proceeded to rearrange ALL the furniture in a previous branch, without anyone's permission. He thought the workmen fixing our roof tried to poison him, since they moved his jug of water somewhere out of the way. That was a real fun time. He was mean to the kids. True, they never know what they want. It's always a game of 20 questions, then a narrowing down to about a shelf of two for them to look at. No biggie. I had kids come up to me and say, "That guy wouldn't help me, can you?" So some 8 year old girls came up to me and asked for help, so I helped them, no problem. He comes over and practically SHOUTS at them, "I already told you, we can't help you if you don't know what you want. You should leave!" OMG, they're little kids, and I AM YOUR SUPERVISOR, you schmuck! Don't you dare yell at kids like that, especially in front of me! What the FLARG is wrong with you???? He wanted all the power, but not the responsibility. He loved overseeing everyone's work, but he didn't want the paperwork and responsibility that came with it (no timesheets or scheduling for him!). He came up to me, complaining about someone's work, not his business at all. I said I would deal with it when I was done filing, maybe 5 minutes, it wasn't urgent. No No No I have to do it NOW. I just turned to him, looked him in the eye and quietly told him to Get Out Of My Face. Now, if your boss said that to you, wouldn't you maybe leave it alone and come back later. Nope, he went right on yapping, then eventually wandered away to patrol the clerks some more. Man, it took all my strength not to stuff him in the frickin' filing cabinet, somewhere in the back, where no one would EVER find him ... He loved spying on the pages, and god forbid they spoke to each other. Our pages were great; they showed up on time, did their job, got along with everyone, and didn't mind extra projects. (They even helped me move! I did pay them ...) But he took it upon himself to oversee them, "to make sure they worked and didn't waste library money." So one day two were talking as they shelved, which of course is totally unacceptable to him. So he bitched out one of them, and when she got tired of listening to him, she pretty much told him to get lost. omg, he came running over, Did you hear what she said to me??? Um, why don't you leave her alone, she's not your responsibility, she was shelving quietly and maybe talking to the other pages. Unless you see any of the pages destroying books, having sex in the stacks or burning down the damn library, leave them alone. Well, of course, that wasn't the end of it. He bitched at her again, and they actually starting arguing. She was very upset, crying in the breakroom, and he was like, Well she gave as good as she got. She is a KID, she's 16 and shouldn't be treated like this, you schmuck! Plus her father worked for the system, a higher up in maintenence, and he was a burly New Yorker type through and through. When he heard what happened to his daughter, he wanted to come on out and relieve that jerk of any need for a dental plan ... man I could have sold tickets to that ... True, he did get on his meds for a while, or meet someone new, or whatever, after a seriously major talking to and a write up, and he behaved OK for a while. Didn't last long, he totally snapped a few months later, threatened to hit a kid and kicked him out of the library, for no good reason. A few hours later I get a wonderful phonecall from the higher-ups, they got a terrific call, the kid's dad was on the LIBRARY BOARD, and I got to send dickhead home right this minute. And he never came back and he was soooo fired. That was also such a fun time, documenting everything, dealing with the higher ups, his BS as well etc. Of course, he claimed persecution, it was all just a massive conspiracy against him, so we had to go to mediation, a union thing, where even the mediator was getting pissed about his behavior. He'd answer with, "Well I was raised not to tell tales out of school ... " Sir! Just answer the question already!!! I even saw him a few months later in a store, and he told me I could "confide" in him about who was against him in the system, and who was working to get him out. And I'm just staring like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't get away from him fast enough, I wouldn't be surprised if he attacked me ... Oy, are you kidding me? | | Monday, December 1st, 2008 | 4:47 pm
[uruketo] |
Oh goodie, another stalker ...
So I'm patrolling my branch, and I just happen to "notice" this kid. Something is just not right, and my librarian senses are tingling. He's got this kinda vacant look, but one that is actually focusing real hard, if you can imagine. So I try to see what he's looking at, and it one of the other librarians, female, across the branch. OK, whatever. A little while later, I see him staring at ME that way, and I'm kinda creeped. Sure enough, I go upstairs and there he is, a few minutes later, staring like a mental patient. eeeuwww. Turns out the damn kid has been doing this to every woman librarian in the branch, and some patrons too. If you were female and betweent the ages of 18-god, you got the "eyes". We're all creeped out by now, but all he's doing is looking, no contact. But still ... it's not a nice look. So he goes and checks out a book, and I just kinda "walk" behind the clerk while his account is up on the screen, so we now had his name (Boris!) and address, which went right ot the manager. We also had his age, omg he's 13! eeeuwww, creepy and young, blech! | | Thursday, November 27th, 2008 | 11:08 am
[uruketo] |
Books, etc., that do not exist, not in this space-time continuum at least ...
Here's one of my all time most annoying peeves: People looking for things that do NOT exist on this planet, or any other as far as I know. You find them, I'll quit being a librarian forever. *Photographs of Jesus or other Biblical people, dinosaurs or other extinct creatures, pretty much anything before the 1860s, you know, what they REALLY looked like ... we've all been here. *Copies of famous people's death certificates, but people who died CENTURIES ago, like George Washington and Marie Antoinette. *Biographies of movie characters, especially horror movies. One really creepy kid asked me for a bio of Mike Myers, not the actor, but the character from Halloween! Sorry, dude, he's not real, he's just a character in the movie. Well then, how about Jason Voorhees or Freddy Krueger. Got bios of them? Nope, they're not real! He asked me this several times again, on later dates. yikes, creepy! *AUTObiographies of particular famous people (Mozart, Jane Austen, Albert Einstein, etc.) for the 4th grade reading level. Bios, yes plenty, but not autobios, those people never wrote anything like that. This one was due to the TEACHER not knowing the difference between a biography and an autobiography, she meant bios of course. But she sure caused a lot of grief for those poor kids who couldn't find their books and thought they would fail. sheesh *One woman lost her frickin mind cause we did not have Why Mosquitos Buzz in People's CARS. I tried to tell her it was a typo on the reading list, it's Why Mosquitos Buzz in People's EARS, by Verna Aaderma, I have a copy right here. NO NO NO, I need this one and if my child fails it's your fault. Lady, THAT TITLE IS SPELLED WRONG, this is the book, I already gave a few copies to your child's classmates. NO NO NO, on and on. Finally I just left her to her own defenses, and I have no idea if she took the book or not. Related peeve: Something obscure but was out of print before I was born always seems to end up on someone's reading list. We have maybe one or two copies in the whole system of 63 libraries, and every kid has to read it. Of course. Some teachers NEVER update their reading lists, or maybe check to see what the library system has. How hard can it be to look up maybe 10 books in our system, to make sure the local branches have enough for their kids? This area ain't rich, not everyone can pop into B&N and buy whatever they need. | | Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 | 9:14 pm
[uruketo] |
Sometimes a "dumb" question ain't so dumb ...
Yeah it sounded dumb, but sometimes it depends on who's asking: "How much is it to join the library?" Yeah I know: "Duh, it's free." But this lady was obviously from elsewhere, like many of our patrons. And in some other countries, libraries are like country clubs; not just anyone can be a member and you have to pay dues. So there, it is now a legitimate question. And boy are they thrilled when they hear that they can join, no problem, their whole family can get cards and use the library all they want, everything is free unless it's late. Plus they often turn out to be the best patrons, very respectful of the whole system. woo-hoo. It's when you get obvious many generation Americans who come in and want to buy the books off our shelves, then the "Duh" comes right back in. | | Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 | 3:25 pm
[uruketo] |
Yeah, well, sometimes it IS our fault ...
OK, we're human, we're not perfect. Things get cataloged wrong once in a while. Fortunately, the patron was cool with it ... A patron was returning a pack of phonics pamphlets, they come in packs of 10. So she returned them, she said they were a week overdue, what did she owe. No problem. So I check them all in and the fine pops up: $210.00!!! WTF?? I was the one in shock, as the patron couldn't see the screen. So I peeked at their cataloging, and sure enough, they were linked as videos, which have a 3.00 a day overdue fine, as opposed to the .10 for kids books. The patron was not exactly thrilled, but I quickly explained the error, she accepted it graciously, and I even waived her fines. We were luckt, I know some patrons who would have had a total conniption, even though the fine was our fault and we waived it. whew, dodged a bullet there ... oops. Reminds me of the time at the store, I rang up some $2.50 hair twisters at $25,000 each; just hit the 00 button instead of the 0 button on the register. The customer did laugh at that one ... | | Thursday, November 20th, 2008 | 9:46 pm
[uruketo] |
I don't care if you're the author himself ...
I worked in a Rare Book library, where we had the original Manuscript of a major work of American literature. Needless to say it was heavily insured, closely guarded and well protected. And also very popular, due to the massive media attention it received. So we got lots of great publicity about it, lots of school field trips to see it, many interested parties, etc. But of course, there's always one ... A woman calls up, asking to see the Manuscript (yes it deserves capitalization). -- Well, a portion is currently on display in our exhibit room, come on down and check it out. -- No I want to see it, to read it. -- Well, our local Author Scholar/Professor has just published a new book, displaying all the original text and revisions, etc., copies are available for purchase, or to check out here in the library. -- No No NO, I want to CHECK IT OUT and read it, you are a library, right. -- Yes, but if you just want the story, regular books are available in our fiction section, or the aforementioned new book ... -- NO NO, I have a library card and I want to check out the Manuscript!! I am a graduate student and I have my library card and I want you to check out that Manuscript to me. -- Lady, NOBODY even looks at the Manuscript without a say so by our Director and Curator, why do you want to check it out. If you want the story, go to fiction or get the new book ... -- NO NO, why can't I take it out and read it. -- Because it is priceless, it is fragile, and I don't care if you're the President, the Pope or the Author Himself back from the dead, NOBODY gets to touch the Manuscript. -- ohhh, OK, maybe I'll check out the fiction section. Yup, you go do that. By the way, why don't you call the museum and see if you can borrow the Hope Diamond to wear to a New Year's Eve party ... Twit. | | Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 | 7:53 am
[uruketo] |
What's that smell?
OK, so maybe I was a bit inconsiderate, but it was purely unintentional. I'm in my branch and I smell something ... weird. It smells like chemically cat piss, but if the cat was like 500 lbs., so it's tiger piss??? I can't figure out what it is, where it's coming from, it's a very small branch. So I bring my page with me to the area and ask her, what the heck is that smell. So two guys at a nearby computer say, Oh it's us, we're homeless! OMG, I was so embarrassed. Sir, no way can you smell like this, it's impossible, unless you work at a zoo next door to a nuclear plant. Plus, I would never say such a thing around you, you're actually pretty nice guys. My apologies for my rudeness. Well, the smell dissapated a litle while later, and we never found out what it was ... | | Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 | 5:30 pm
[uruketo] |
PLEASE bring your homework assignment sheets with you!!!
Teenage girl comes up to me, I need this book, I think it's about Indians by some lady Christine something. Did you bring your assignement. Heck no, I know what I'm looking for!! Yeah right, OK, at least I got a name and a subject, I can probably narrow it down. So I find NOTHING, not surprised. I'm sorry we have no books about Indians wth that author. A whole lot of back and forth, is it fiction or non fiction (HUH??) like 20 minutes worth, she tells me there's a number in the title. OMG, it's Ten Little Indians, by Agatha Christie. Damn, bring your friggin' assignment sheet with you!! You can barely remember your own names! Some days I wish I could just smack these kids upside the head ... | | Monday, November 17th, 2008 | 11:25 pm
[ricecricket]
 |
| 4:19 pm
[uruketo] |
The Origins of Soda
Just got an interesting question: Where does soda come from? My off the top of my head answer: Soda is made from water, with bubbles put in, and flavoring added. It is man-made, as in someone made it. It's not naturally occurring. Like milk comes from cows, naturally occuring; orange juice comes from oranges, naturally occuring. But soda has to be made by someone, it's man-made, it doesn't happen by itself. Hey, my 5 year old son just asked this question right here at home, so I don't need to quote a source. Once a librarian, always a librarian. | 4:06 pm
[uruketo] |
Sorry, it's in use right now ....
So a high school kid comes in and asks me for maps. Ok, what kind of maps, any particular area? No, maps of everywhere. OK, I'll go get an atlas for you. No, do you have maps that are more lifelike, you know round. Oh, a globe, sure we have one right here on the shelf (about the size of a beach ball) Um, do you have one that's bigger? How big do they get? Well, about 4-5 feet in diameter I think, but those are very expensive, so this is what we have now. No, I mean much bigger, like life-size. A life-size globe? That would be a planet, and you're standing on it. ** blank look as it sinks in ** ooooh, ok, I guess I'll use this one then ... duh | | Friday, October 24th, 2008 | 9:27 pm
[nightshrike]
 |
BAH!
So I have decided that library patrons are complete morons. Not only are about 60% of the calls I get asking whether the website is telling the truth about us being an early voting site...but then they seem all shocked when we tell them that they can't vote here cuz they are in the wrong county. Today, this guy came in with a book-and-tape-in-a-bag children's thingy....to tell us the tape wasn't working. And WHILE I WAS LISTENING TO HIM WHINE he pulled a piece of STILL WET PINEAPPLE from the bag they were stored in. =.= sigh. And then!!! There was this guy that didn't want to chose a PIN number for his new card. You have to write the number you choose on the sign up sheet. He just kept ranting about how it wouldn't be a "PERSONAL Identification Number" if he wrote it down cuz then WE would know it and everyone else that looked at the sheet would know it too!!! Right...Like anyone cares about your library card. Morons. Complete and Utter Morons. Current Mood: aggravated |
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