. ([info]artichaut) wrote in [info]knitting,
@ 2003-12-04 00:55:00
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On acrylic yarn
The following is the verbatim text of a Red Heart ad from a 1974 Mademoiselle magazine.

"We know that hand knits knitted with Coats & Clark Red Heart 'Wintuk' Orlon yarn can take normal wear and tear better than those knit from competitive yarns. But when we got this unsolicited testimonial from Mrs. Fred Bard of Thornton, California, even we were astonished to learn what our yarn really could take.

"Read what she said:

"Dear Sirs:
"How true your ad in the September issue of Good Housekeeping is!!

"My husband and I lived at a Mobile Home Park on Andrus Island out of Isleton, California. On June 21, 1972 at 1:15 A.M. the levee broke about 200 yards from our house. We waded out in our pajamas in waist deep water. Our coach was completely covered with flood water and eventually collapsed and disintegrated. We lost everything, including our car.

"Five months later, when the flood water was all pumped out, my husband was looking around to see if he could salvage anything. He found a sweater-coat that I had just knitted from Red Heart "Wintuk" and that I was very proud of. It had been in the mud and muck for five months. He brought it out to show me he found it. He washed it off with the water hose. I put it through the washer and dryer and it looks as good as the first day I wore it.

"I am sure sold on Red Heart 'Wintuk'!!

"Sincerely, Mrs. Fred Bard.
"

The poor sweater had been in a virtual cesspool for five months, yet was unharmed. So we may conclude that, much like Twinkies and cockroaches, your handknitted acrylic heirlooms will likely survive the impending nuclear holocaust. Shouldn't your next sweater be made of Red Heart "Wintuk"??



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[info]meglet
2003-12-04 01:33 am UTC (link)
i am so terrified.

but can't you just see it after the nuclear holocaust, cockroaches eating twinkies and warming themselves with acrylics.

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[info]princesspetunia
2003-12-04 01:37 am UTC (link)
That is beautiful. And the fact that she lived in a mobile home park is so a propos.

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[info]supersniffles
2003-12-04 05:42 pm UTC (link)
Hey! I resemble that remark :P
(Luckily my coach hasn't been swallowed by a flood but it's nice to know my stash of Red Heart will be safe if it does!!)

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[info]lallabelle
2003-12-04 01:56 am UTC (link)
your comments alone sold me!!! why do i trek 45 minutes to the best yarn store in the area to get non-synthetics?? i'm wasting so much time and money!

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[info]cimorenegal
2003-12-04 05:19 am UTC (link)
*dies*

But it kind of scares me that the cockroaches will be playing in my sweaters O_O

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[info]verminefasciste
2003-12-05 12:16 am UTC (link)
And peeing in them!

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[info]bubbledragon
2003-12-04 06:09 am UTC (link)
Nonono... you see, only the holocaust can flash them into the burning piles of melted synthetic fibers that they deserve! :o)

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[info]pepperjackcandy
2003-12-04 07:07 am UTC (link)
Can we please not start the "pro"/"anti" acrylic yarn debate?

For the record, I love making things with acrylic that I'm giving to people who either don't know how to take care of more "high-end" fibers, or who don't have the time/space to do so (i.e. college students, people living in small apartments), which is just about everyone I know.

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[info]tashabear
2003-12-04 08:31 am UTC (link)
Who's debating? For cry yi, it's FUNNY.

Get over it. I have to put up with people calling me a yarn snob because I knit exclusively with natural fibers (superwash wool for folks who need washable yarn); you can put up with people making fun of yarn that's marketed as being hose-washable.

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This is funny, not mean.
[info]glaukopis
2003-12-04 11:03 am UTC (link)
I really like Red Heart and other 'nasty' acrylic yarns. They feel wonderful after a wash. I also like twinkies... a lot. It's amusing that a fiber will outlast mankind and possibly cock roaches. You *have* to be aware that manmade stuff like that is always going to be the subject of abuse and comedy. The best way to deal with it is to roll your eyes then ignore it. You know better and so do I that ACRYLIC ROCKS! :D

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[info]chymerikaen
2003-12-04 07:15 am UTC (link)
*envisions Wintuk/cockroach/Twinkie hybrids ruling a postapocalyptic Earth*

Now that's a lovely image to entertain me the next time I'm shopping for yarn!

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[info]verminefasciste
2003-12-05 12:18 am UTC (link)
Perhaps I should knit an acrylic cockroach out of Wintuk. He will, of course, be holding a Twinkie.

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[info]supersniffles
2003-12-05 02:37 am UTC (link)
I'm hoping to knit an acrylic trillobite. They could play together!

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[info]chymerikaen
2003-12-05 06:56 am UTC (link)
The twinkie would be his scepter as he ruled over his kingdom of toxic acrylic waste! Mwahahahahahah!

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[info]girlonawire
2003-12-04 08:41 am UTC (link)
For the record, I would like to say that I love all yarn, be it acrylic or natural fibers. I am non-discriminating.

Oh, the only yarns I don't like:
-Smelly boxes of mixed lot yarn won on eBay
-Disintegrating yarn found in my mom's attic
-Lion Brand Homespun (everything else they have rocks, pretty much)
-Rug yarn (I know you don't knit with it, but it sure does feel nasty, and I wouldn't even want to walk barefoot on it)

I am a real Yarn Ho. Any hank'll do. :o)

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[info]bluemel4
2003-12-04 09:13 am UTC (link)
OMG that is too funny! Now I don't feel so bad about making so many things with arylic yarn!

No more bashing Red hearts icky feeling yarn for me!

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[info]armageddonkitty
2003-12-04 09:11 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, no more bashing!

'cause when I am itching for yarn at 3am, I know I can head down to ye olde Wal-Mart and pick me up some skeins of yarn in any color under the rainbow.

And if I want, I can wash it with a hose!

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[info]verminefasciste
2003-12-05 12:19 am UTC (link)
That hose thing is definitely a selling point.

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[info]bronhoffer
2003-12-04 05:22 pm UTC (link)
hahaha! i picked up some old family circle and good housekeeping (or something) magazines from my grandmothers and i saw that same exact ad!

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[info]ironyfemme
2003-12-05 05:22 am UTC (link)
I would be nervous to knit with wool, because I am allergic to it...too bad some of it is SO beautiful!

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