retad ([info]retad) wrote in [info]katara_zuko,
@ 2006-05-24 22:03:00
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Current mood: cynical
Current music:Anniversary Song, Eva Cassidy
Entry tags:-fan: fiction

After "Tealeaves" but before "Rain"
Next time I accept a challenge and give myself a 24-hour turnaround time someone please kick me - hard! Ten pages worth of false starts and I just couldn't come up with a concept I liked. I am still not happy, but my pride insists I post something! So I give you:

Meeting


A city at war does not allow anyone to enter without going through security. Even the Avatar and his companions. And because it was so late, no one was being allowed entry at all.

So they spent that first night in a tavern outside the city walls. Beyond the protection of the city’s soldiers. A noisome place, obviously the haunt of local brigands and merchants of questionable wares, it was still better than staying out in the open forest given the lowering storm clouds.

Sokka grumbled that they would have arrived in time if Katara hadn’t insisted on visiting the fortune teller again. Toph, the novelty of strange places and new experiences worn thin by fatigue, wrinkled her nose at the assault of odors around her, a noxious mélange of unwashed bodies, over-cooked cabbages and unidentifiable meats, cheap spirits, and decades of dirt. Even Aang’s irrepressible good cheer was challenged.

Katara herself was troubled. No doubt Sokka was right and the fact that they were in for a miserable night of it was her fault. Still, she would feel better facing the prospect conjured by Aunt Wu’s reading in day-light:

When you arrive at Bai Sing Sei, you will meet a man, a warrior who you will recognize as your enemy.

“We’re all just tired. We’ll feel better in the morning and if we get up early enough we can be the first ones through the gates,” she tried to say bracingly. “And at least we’ll be sleeping in beds tonight.”

“With bedbugs, no doubt,” Sokka reached over to take the dumpling still lying in a congealed pool on Toph’s plate. Every day he tried this same stunt, and every day Toph’s fist shot out and knocked his hand away. It cheered him that this particular time her effort also caught her cup and sent it flying.

“Enough, already. Let’s go to bed.”

There was only the one room available to them, and the state of the bedding was such that Sokka’s prediction was undoubtedly accurate. Katara shuddered and volunteered to fetch their own bedrolls from Appa’s litter. Sokka turned to follow her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked.

“Just the big brother thing. What? You don’t want help?”

“You’re just going to make me feel guilty about it, so no, I don’t want help. I don’t need it.”

“Well, you’re not going out there in a place like this alone. Dad would kill me if I let you.”

“You have got to be kidding. You know I can look out for myself at least as well as you can.”

“I’m just saying - ”

“I’ll come with you, Katara,” Aang volunteered quickly. Toph buried her face in her palms.

“I don’t need any help!” And with that Katara slammed out of the room.

The tavern’s stable was across the yard and off to the side. At this hour there were no torches lighting the stables, but lanterns hung at the tavern’s doors, and Katara opted to forego bringing another into the stable itself. She would need both arms to carry all their bedding, and as she entered the darkened building she had second thoughts about the advisability of accepting help. A lamp would have been a good idea.

As her eyes adjusted Katara walked slowly towards the far end where they had left Appa. Momo chittered as she approached, and she murmured soothingly to them both. Digging out the bedrolls was a matter of only a few minutes, and she took another minute or two to re-stow their other belongings.

It was then she heard it.

Low voices, gutteral and disjointed. Some kind of an argument was brewing outside the stable, somewhere along the city wall. Katara remembered Sokka’s comment and her hand reached automatically to test the weight of her waterskin. It was reassuringly heavy.

Leaving the bedrolls on the ground just inside the stable door she crept along the wall to check out the disturbance. She knew she shouldn’t, that whatever was happening was none of her business, but Katara was nothing if not curious.

The argument had erupted into a full-pitched battle a mere hundred yards away, the clash of striking steel now harsh on the night air. Katara looked first towards the tavern, then to sealed gates of the city, expecting men to pour out, drawn by the noise. But no one appeared. She was apparently to be the only witness to this particular scene of violence. Grimly, she realized that such scenes probably happened with far too much frequency to draw attention for a populous concerned with its own affairs and safety.

But surely not just such a scene. She made out five, no, six men, armed with halberds and swords converged on a single opponent whose back was towards her, wielding a sword in each hand. At first Katara was convinced the lone figure would be cut down immediately, and her sense of fair play was outraged. But as she watched she rapidly revised her opinion.

The single man fought like a demon. Even in the darkness there was a grace and precision of movement that struck a chord in her memory, but she couldn’t place it. First one and then a second assailant fell before his fury. The remainder drew back, now circling him in caution. And as he turned within their circle she was startled to see the stark features of an oni mask covering his face.

With a yell the four men attacked. She couldn’t explain it later, but somehow the masked warrior succeeded in deflecting their blows, spinning blades arcing and a flying kick dropping yet another attacker. It was frightening and yet beautiful, and Katara made up her mind. She ran toward the fray, removing the stopper from her waterskin as she closed the distance.

Once close enough she aimed a water whip at a halberd slicing at the masked man’s open back, snapping it out of the attacker’s hands. Bringing the whip back, she lashed it at his chest with all her force, and was rewarded as the man fell with a satisfyingly hard thump.

One of the remaining assailants looked at the dancing blades before him, his fallen comrades, and the additional threat of the approaching water-bender. He opted to abandon the fight, spitting an oath upon the owner of the mask as he spun on one heel and fled. Only to be followed immediately by his fellow.

Katara had stopped while still well away from the field of combat. She didn’t need to be close to use her bending, and there was no point in getting close to those flying weapons. The masked warrior watched the combatants flee, weapons still ready, and then turned to face Katara. The blank stare of the mask was disconcerting, and a long moment passed in which neither of them moved.

Then his arms dropped, and he took a step in her direction.

She retreated a half step. “Wait. What-“

“Katara!”

Sokka stood in the tavern doorway, clearly recognizable in the lantern’s glow. Katara looked back at the sound of her name, and then turned back to the dimly seen figure in the mask.

But he was gone, having slid away in the darkness.

___




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[info]isabelnecessary
2006-05-25 05:33 am UTC (link)
well that ended abruptly... but somehow, you conveyed zuko's fighting style just as beautiful as it has been in the show. toph's quite the perceptive one isn't she? can't say the same about aang and sokka. haha.

good work. there will be more, right? *pleads*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-25 05:51 am UTC (link)
Sorry about the ending. I felt like the whole thing was getting away from me. It made sense that the others would wonder what was taking her so long and check up on her. And then of course Zuko would disappear.

I'm kinda hoping someone else will pick up the story and figure out the lies, the rescues, and what the heck Zuko is doing if he's not chasing Aang... You know, the rest of the stuff referred to in the tealeaf reading and their conversation in rain. In daylight I found it beyond me. Am humbled.

Yeah. Had to insert one amusing note with Toph. It needed doing.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]styromgalleries
2006-05-25 05:51 am UTC (link)
Yes, someone needs to continue it, until we have more of their "meetings".

I, too, loved your descriptions of Zuko's fighting.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-25 05:57 am UTC (link)
Didn't really figure out how she would recognize him as her enemy in this first meeting, except that she recognized something! Wish I knew something about fighting so I could really describe it.

So. You wanna be the someone to continue it? Please feel free!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]rashaka
2006-05-25 06:37 am UTC (link)
Yes. I second [info]retad's motion!

You're next. Come on. You know you want to. Any plot bunnies tumbling about in your yard, waiting for the chance to pounce?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jakia, 2006-05-25 11:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]styromgalleries, 2006-05-26 12:13 am UTC
*spams Reta*
[info]kawaii_lyn
2006-05-25 06:23 am UTC (link)
At first this sounded a bit like...someone's Bluetara ficlit that was made for [info]irrel's latest fanart of awesome, but as it progressed, its differences showed themselves. Lovely plot bunny, I especially like your description of Zuko fighting. It flowed and depicted his movements perfectly without confusing or overwhelming the reader with metaphors and action verbs and adverbs. (Ugh.) But yes, twas a lovely beginning that I feel YOU (oh lazy zukogetsnone writer you) should continue b/c something tells me this can only be continued by the likes of you.

Also, a beta note: Sokka stood in the tavern doorway, clearly recognizable in the lanturn’s [lantern's glow]glow. Katara looked back at the sound of her name, and then turned back to the dimly seen figure in the mask.

♥ ♥ ♥


(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: *spams Reta*
[info]retad
2006-05-25 03:34 pm UTC (link)
It is a Bluetara ficlit in response to ficlits made for the fanart...
Differences? No clue what you mean by that. Unless you mean that the damn thing spends so much time on setting stuff up that it really should be a full-sized work? Which is why the ending feels abrupt. I need to get back into writing "quickies" so I don't hook myself into traps like this.
And yeah, definitely this thing needed a good editing. Lots of rough bits. I'm lucky you only found one misspelling! Thanks!
Gotta get back to finding ways to deny orgasms for Zuko...

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]rashaka
2006-05-25 06:25 am UTC (link)
Yay, you did it! You know you're the first fanficcer at katara_zuko to brave the streets of Ba Sing Se, I think.

An exciting first meeting, and I like that Katara joined in on the fight too, and did so carefully. The scene of them staring at each other afterward is made all the more interesting by the fact that we readers are imagining what Zuko must be thinking as he recognizes her.


Reactions as I go:


mélange

I've always loved that word.


You know what I enjoy about your fics? You really know how to set the scene. Lots of yummy gritty details.


These lines read awkward to me as a sentence and a fragment instead of one sentence:
He opted to abandon the fight, spitting an oath upon the owner of the mask as he spun on one heel and fled. Only to be followed immediately by his fellow.



Even though it was abrupt, I love the last three lines.


I'm kinda hoping someone else will pick up the story and figure out the lies, the rescues, and what the heck Zuko is doing if he's not chasing Aang... You know, the rest of the stuff referred to in the tealeaf reading and their conversation in rain.

You nicely set that up, actually. The open-ended-ness of this makes it feel a bit like a prologue, with the promise of something more. And if she meets him again during the same visit to Ba Sing Se, she might recognize him then, if not in the exact first meeting.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-25 03:44 pm UTC (link)
You hit it exactly. As I was working on this I realized it was no good as a stand-alone piece, unlike Jakia's and yours. And I got all annoyed with myself for starting something I have no intention of finishing. On the other hand, it was meant as a set-up piece all along. I just wish I could have put more real meat into it (but my plate was empty).

Lots of things I didn't like in my writing here, but you probably picked out the two worst lines.

And I actually didn't get them to the streets of Ba Sing Se - just to the outskirts, which I picture as pretty much a no-man's land.

As for the ending. I wish I'd taken that tone for the rest of this. It would have been a better fit to the others and to the fanart itself.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-25 06:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-25 06:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]retad, 2006-05-25 06:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-25 06:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]retad, 2006-05-25 06:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-25 10:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]retad, 2006-05-25 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-26 06:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]storybender, 2006-05-26 12:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]retad, 2006-05-26 01:55 am UTC

[info]akavertigo
2006-05-25 08:11 am UTC (link)
[info]irrel didn't just inspire some stories: she started a series.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rashaka
2006-05-25 09:53 am UTC (link)
Everyone loves rain kisses and self-fullfilling prophecies!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]easytodistract
2006-05-25 08:18 am UTC (link)
Oooh! Nice!

By the way, be happy! I think you got something great here! I'm on my (counts) fifth beginning for Irrel's art-fic trade story. (groans) I just can't come up with something I'm happy with. I'm definitely unused to writing them during canon timeline.

I could really feel the rough-and-tumble atmosphere in this piece. The fight scenes were great! Plus, you've given me a plot bunny!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-25 03:46 pm UTC (link)
Oh good. Glad plot bunnies are around somewhere. My life is completely devoid of them at the moment. Which means my writing is at a complete standstill!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]jakia
2006-05-25 11:38 am UTC (link)
Goregous. It's so pretty...

::pets:: Brillant! And yes, some must continue!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-25 03:52 pm UTC (link)
If it's at all visual it's probably cuz I kept flipping back to the inspiration pieces. I can paint a picture with words, but it's much harder to come up with the compositional elements in the first place.

I may actually steal some of this setting for unrelated fics. I liked the tavern scene best myself. It felt 'right'. I'm much shakier on the Katara/Zuko thing. Which is rediculous since that was the whole point!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]storybender
2006-05-25 02:27 pm UTC (link)
You know I love you. What more can I say?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-25 04:04 pm UTC (link)
And I love you - and your icon. I just can't get over its brilliance. Ha! Just realized that Zuko is like Clint in another way - I love Clint's style even though I can't stand his politics.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]storybender, 2006-05-25 04:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jakia, 2006-05-25 09:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]storybender, 2006-05-25 10:00 pm UTC
It involves FIRE! - [info]jakia, 2006-05-25 10:04 pm UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]storybender, 2006-05-25 10:08 pm UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]retad, 2006-05-25 10:13 pm UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]storybender, 2006-05-25 10:15 pm UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]retad, 2006-05-25 10:27 pm UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-25 10:28 pm UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]retad, 2006-05-25 10:31 pm UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-25 10:39 pm UTC
Re: gender-bending... - [info]retad, 2006-05-26 02:02 am UTC
Re: gender-bending... - [info]rashaka, 2006-05-26 02:18 am UTC
Re: It involves FIRE! - [info]storybender, 2006-05-26 12:29 am UTC

[info]renuki
2006-05-26 02:44 am UTC (link)
Nice!

That was lovely.



...*Flees before anyone tries to get her to do a story*

(Reply to this)


[info]sylvacoer
2006-05-26 12:53 pm UTC (link)
And thus we arrive at the gates of Ba Sing Sei. Wheeee~! Zuko gets to kick some ass! And run off looking all mysterious and heroic! So long as Katara doesn't say, "Who was that masked man?" I'll be allright!
*pours another cup of tea and awaits next challenger/installment to step up*

Query - we're still in the series timeline, 'fore Souzen's comet arrives, yes? So, it's early spring... Hmmmm...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-28 08:46 pm UTC (link)
After the comet comes I would doubt Zuko would need to be Blue Spiriting around, so spring-summer seems reasonable.
Next!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]loveroftheflame
2006-05-27 08:15 pm UTC (link)
This was soo good! I'm new to LJ but I love your work! I've written a few things myself and ws thinking of doing a follow-up to "The Chase". Would you read it if I post it?

Btw, I have been tearing through all of the Zutara fanfics I can find lately and I must say that LJ has the very best! Thanks to you all.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]misaoshinomori
2006-07-24 09:04 am UTC (link)
may I ask what does your LJ icon mean? Did the voice actor die?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loveroftheflame, 2006-07-24 12:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misaoshinomori, 2006-07-25 02:09 am UTC

[info]loveroftheflame
2006-05-27 08:17 pm UTC (link)
Ugh! I ask someone to read a fic I wrote and I misspell something in my very first post! What a way to make a first impression! LOL!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]retad
2006-05-28 08:44 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I'll read it anyway. How could I not when you said you love my work? Looking forward to it!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]room___service
2006-07-18 12:19 pm UTC (link)
I love how you described Zuko's fighting style. Just finished Tea Leaves, going over to reread Rain.

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