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Movies
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Apr. 23rd, 2006 @ 07:08 pm
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I had the opportunity this weekend to see not one but two movies. We have two opposite ends of the spectrum to choose from.
On DVD I caught the low budget (read no budget)"The Sacrifice" which is billed as gay-themed independent horror film. I have had a long standing number one most horrible movie ever by the name of "Shatter Dead", thank you Justin. This movie is no longer number one most horrible. My new number one piece of utter filth and drivel is "The Sacrifice". I understand that this is a low (no) budget movie, so was "Shatter Dead", but this movie is just downright fucking awful. The only thing that made me able to make it all the way through this steaming pile of horse chunder is the fact that I was surrounded by friends and we all proceeded to lampoon the crap out of it. Yes I realize it's low budget, but honest to god this was just plain and simple a pile of garbage. I could film a better full length feature using the video recorder on my cell phone! One would have hoped that the central character could have kept the same hair length through out the length of a movie that only seems to take place around a few days. The sound was piss poor and at times you wanted to rupture your eardrum with a sharpened pencil so you no longer had to subject yourself to it. As for the set pieces, things are seemingly tossed together. For example, the school classroom where their is only five or six students and the majority of them don't even have a pencil or notebook. You know, maybe I should at least attempt to include some plot points of this abaomination, here goes nothing! Angsty teen goth kid moves to New Hampshire town with his mother. Angsty teen goth kid meets up with other kid at school all while conveying an extreme amount of homosexual overtones. Both have mutual interest in occult, they do something with an Ouija board in a cemetary, robed figures with shovels digging, something about skulls, Wacky dreamy flashbacky things? Big ceremonial sacrifice complete with the undressing of angsty goth kid, machete, blood, lots of naked man ass, yeah it all sorta went something like that. I know understand why this movie is called "The Sacrifice", you sacrificed your time to watch this horrid little ass bomb and now you will never, ever get that time back.
I have to give it something, so one of one it shall get...
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This is one movie I would have enjoyed even more if I caught it in the theatre, but instead I ended up watching "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Big mistake there, Hitchhiker's was the giant steaming bowl of monkey poo compared to "Kung Fu Hustle". Stephen Chow directs and acts in this one. The previews for this one make it out to be nothing more than a regular slap stick kung fu movie. Not so! Stephen Chow is Sing, he is trying to join the largest gang in town, the Axe Gang. These characters dress like old school gangsters and have a tendency to pull off some odd dance numbers when they are not kicking the crap out of people. Sing winds up in an altercation which draws the axe gang to the pig stye slums. The rest of the denizens of the slums are unaware that three of their number are kung fu masters, until they kick the crap out of the axe gang in magnificent fashion. This causes the axe gang to retaliate even harder than before, all hell breaks loose. The fight scenes are amazing, as well they should be, they had the same dude who had a hand in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Oh yeah, it's no quicky smack smack down you go fights over type situation here. These battles are of epic proportion and destruction on a grandious scale. The characters involved are all wonderful, the three fung fu masters, the land lord and land lady, the head honcho of the axe gang. The soundtrack to this movie is incredible, I usually go for the grinding guitars and hard rock riffs, but in Hustle we have traditional oriental music that really matches the scenes in the movie it's matched up with. I found myself wanting the soundtrack so I could listen to the hypnotic rythms over and over again. Before I forget, the sets where all the action takes place is amazing, multi leved areas for the characters to bound and leap off of, open areas for massive amounts of fists to fly. Must not forget the fact that this flick is not just straight up action, although its a huge portion of it, it's friggan hilarious. Some parts will have you clutching your sides after you recover from your spasm of laughter.
See it, admire the scenery, the music, the action, and comedy. It just may have something that everyone could enjoy. That's why it rolls the bones with a five out of five. |
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What can I say, with this movie you stand at the the pinnacle of the mountain of madmen, psychos, and sadists. The Devil's Rejects is Rob's follow up to House of 1000 Corpses. Rejects takes the first movie and punches it right in the face, drops it to the ground, and pounds on it with a sledge hammer. Your favorites are all here, Otis, Baby and Captain Spaulding all more gritty and hard edged than before. Along side the Firefly clan some new faces appear Sheriff John Wydell (William Forsythe), Rondo (Danny Trejo), Snapper (Diamond Dallas Page) and a whole slew of other faces you might just recognize from other places.
Ok, as far as plot goes, this one picks up what seems a few weeks after the events of the first film. Intensity from the word go. The local police force decends upon the Firefly homestead led by the brother of the previous Wydell. He is seeking vengance for the death of his kin and will stop at nothing to bring the outlaws to justice. The movie takes off from here, I really don't want to spill anything on what goes on, so I won't. You will need to see this movie. The little technical details that Zombie had in the first movie have been completely obliterated here, this one doesnt come off like one big music video. This is a south texas death ride in the truest sense of the phrase, we are taken on a wild ride of emotional intensity I have not felt in a movie for quite some time. The way this movie is shot too is wonderful, from the bleak and desolate locales to the cramped confines of the rooms, it all works wonderfully together. As for the soundtrack, we don't hear the metal and hard edgy stuff Rob went with for the first movie, we wind up with some classics of rock. Yes you even hear Freebird by Skynrd, althought the accompanying footage will most likely leave you trying to pick your jaw up off the floor.
This one gets all five, if my scale went higher it would most likely get double. The first movie to really have a wild sense of true intensity and momentum. See it, you won't be dissapointed. |
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This movie picks up some where down the line where Pitch Black left off. Riddick (Vin Diesel) has a hefty bounty on his head and is being pursued by mercenaries. He ends up smack dab in the middle of interstellar racial cleansing. The dudes doing the whole cleansing action are called Necromongers. They either convert you or kill you, go figure. Sounds like a bunch of futuristic Nazi's on some level. Riddick ends up learning a little about his oh so mysterious past and sets out to take down the Necromongers. Visually this movie is great, story wise is scraping the barrel. The plot in this movie only functions to move the whole set up forward so cool stuff can happen. Set pieces in here are really cool to look at, all of the Necromonger ships, gear and architecture are totally bad ass. The acting is acceptable, we'll leave it at that, you have Vin Diesel doing what Vin does, talking how he talks and moving how he moves. Yes he still totally houses the competition, no surprise there. Only one other character stands out in this whole debauchery, the Lord Marshall of the Necromongers played by Colm Feore. Even if you don't recognize the name you would recognize the face. He played the bad dude in Stephen King's "Storm of the Century".
This one comes in three out of five skulls. Good action, cool stuff too look at but not too strong on the story end of things. |
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The remake of the classic. There has been a lot of contraversy as to wether or not the original could be topped, or if it should be remade. Well people, don't worry your little heads on this one. Good ol' Tim Burton really pulled off something fantastic here. In my own grandious opinion, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory blows the original out of the water. I was impressed with every aspect of this movie, Tim Burton knows what he is doing. The set pieces were great, shiny and happy at first glance but upon looking deeper, you see the dirty and misbegotten on the fringes. The oompa loompas were done very well, they were all based off of one actor. They were also much smaller than the original ones, but this added to their creepy factor. The kids as well as the parents were all cast perfectly. One felt incredibly sympathetic for Charlie and his family. You also had a large amount of dislike and outright disgust for the four other finders of the golden tickets. There was Augustus, little rolly polly bastard that he is, the color and sheen they put on his skin was a wonderful touch. Mike TV was updated a little, instead of just watching TV he was a video game fanatic but a little friggan jerk too. Violet is a competitor, brought up that way by her plastic mother. She wants to win the prize that is offered, but not listening to people gets her into a pretty gruesome situation. Veruca, what the hell can I say about this little pain in the ass, you felt like punching her in her oversized freakin teeth. Truly stuck up and snobbish, wanting it all her way at this very second. Now onto the main man himself, Willy Wonka played by Johnney Depp. Gene Wilder step out of the way, you have been superceded. Completely different in every aspect, this version is ultra ultra creepy and a total and complete jerk in every shape and form. The plot follows pretty true to the original as well with out any sort of great deviation, well except for the flashbacks Wonka has, but those are even made fun of at one point.
Five out of five all the way on this one. The characters, small plot tweaks, and sets are all fantastic. Go see it, you will not be dissapointed. |
| » Being Ron Jeremy |
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Here is one that I really don't think I would have grabbed off of the shelf of my own free will. Before actually seeing this one on the shelf, I had never even heard of it. Here is the low down, it's a total rip on "Being John Malkovitch", but instead of Johnny boy, you have the porn star Ron Jeremy. Plot wise, you have a struggling comedian by the name of Brian Pickles (Brian Berke) who works at a porn store. He has the hots for his female co-worker Mia (Mia Crowe), who won't give him the time of day. Loser boy finds portal into Ronny J's melon. The only way Mia will hookup with Brian is if he is in Ron Jeremy, but every time Brian is in RJ he makes him spunk early and it begins to effect Ron's adult film career. Hilarity ensues. This flick is also packed full of adult film star hotties too, so if that's what you like, bonus for you too. The funniest scenes of the movie are when Andy Dick (playing himself) and Ron Jeremy are sitting together either watching one of his films or practicing lines. One of the best jokes is when Andy accuses Ron of being gay because his mule touches another guys very very briefly when they are doing the same girl, Ron attempts to argue otherwise but Andy doesn't buy it. Truly priceless material.
This movie gets a four out of five in my book. It's just plain funny funny stuff. Plus it's relatively short too, only clocking in at about 40 or so minutes. It did seem like a perfect amount of time to wrap it up in.
Jul. 17th, 2005 @ 01:46 pm
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| » Land of the Dead |
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Damn, now that was a good flick right there. A movie to do the zombie genre justice. Thank you Mr. Romero. This one is the latest release in the Dead series. The great thing about this one is you don't have to have seen the previous movies to get what's going on. The short little bit in the beginning brings you up to speed, but you really don't even need it. So on to the plot. Civilization is being over run by the walking dead or life challenged depending on how you look at it. The survivors have holed up in a city, they raid smaller towns for food and supplies to keep things going. The rich and wealthy live in normality in this jumbo sized sky scraper while the poor live in destitution. So one of the raiding parties ends up some how or another pissing off this one zombie who just happens to be just a little more with it than the rest of the undead. Well they end up heading for the city and chaos ensues. Actors of note are Dennis Hopper as the guy in charge of the city. He is a wonderful jerk. John Leguizamo is Cholo, one of the guys in the raiding party. Still typical Leguizamo with his moves and actions, but he's good. Oh! I musn't forget, there is a completely bitchin ride in this one too. This death dealing machine goes by the name of "Dead Reckoning". It's a specially armored truck that they take out on the raids for supplies. Complete with M60 machine guns on both sides, a pair of mini guns up front, and two missle launchers on the roof. This truck is one bad ass piece of gear. Now onto the zombies, a multitude of flesh devouring undead. They advance with a slow and determined pace and are learing as well as becoming more aware of their surroundings. The killings are fantastic, the gore is wonderful. Blood spraying and splattering, very creative death sequences. Romero also has his socio-political message in this one as well, it's there and pretty obvious. But hell, to me Land of the Dead is just a kick ass zombie movie.
This one slays me with a four out of five. For as cool as it is, it still seemed to be missing something. I do know that Land of the Dead is fantastic and I certainly reccommend it highly! It might just leave you craving human flesh when you leave the theatre, well no, no it won't. Remind me not to throw in stupid catch lines like that.
Jun. 26th, 2005 @ 02:38 pm
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| » Last Man Standing |
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It's the 1930's and the lone traveller rolls into town. This individual just happens to be Bruce Willis, and knowing how things go in an action movie involving Bruce Willis, yes things are gonna get a little wild. This movie has some of the most kick ass gunfights ever. The town that Willis rolls into is controlled by two rival gangs. These gangs are under a pretty thin truce, seeing an opportunity to make some cashola Brucey-poo begins playing one gang off another. Violence erupts on the streets of the backwater dirt hole of a town and undertaker begins to do some heavy business. There is not much in the way of plot or story, the idea is very basic. There is even a girl in there some where, well two actually, some mexicans, and a whole hella lotta guns. One of the most wonderful things I find about this movie is Bruce's character uses a pair of Colt 1911 hand guns (my favorite gun mind you) while the rest of the populace uses revolvers. Christopher Walken shows up as a particularly gruesome thug, one of the gangs top liutenants. His weapon of choice is the oh so wonderful Thompson sub machine gun. Walken cleans house in one scene with the tommy gun. You'll also notice a lot of other actors in this flick who show up else where, they will all leave you going he is good but damned if I know his name.
While it's not really an incredible front runner by any means, Last Man Standing is a great flick with some hardcore gun slinging. Slim on story, but here it doesn't really make a difference. This one cruises in on four skulls.
Jun. 22nd, 2005 @ 01:07 pm
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| » Batman Begins |
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If you are thinking this is another lame excuse of a Batman movie, think again. This movie also comes through with a pretty hefty cast of all star actors as well. Christian Bale is Batman/Bruce Wayne and Michael Caine as Alfred, we also get to see the likes of Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman and Rutger Hauer. Oddly enough Katie Holmes did not bug the living crap out of me. So what we have here is the roots of Batman, his drives and motivations. We get to see the reasons why he becomes Batman. He doesn't even truly don the mask until a good portion in the the movie. Really delving into a good portion of the psychological aspects of the character, there are some really potent lines about right and wrong, good and evil. We see why Gotham becomes such a horrible place to live, it's slow spiral from a bright gleaming city, with huge towers and reflective surfaces to a dark and dingy, rotten and horrid place. The gear Batman gets his hands on is absolutely fantastic, especially the "car". One of the most bad ass pieces of equipment I have ever seen show up in any movie, I want one in the worst way possible. Screw the high tech climbing gear, grappling devices, and high tech cape. Give me that out of control, big wheel monstrosity of transportation. So, back on track, in every super hero movie you have to have your villians. It's just a requirement. Gotham city is as corrupt as corrupt can be so crime is rampant and one of the villians just happens to be a pretty big crime boss. The first actual masked villian that Batman has to deal with ends up being The Scarecrow, a some what low key part but pretty cool none the less. Especially when he winds up on horseback. Let's also not forget to give a tip of the hat to Michael Caine's Alfred. The little funny quips he spouts off with are very funny.
This movie deserves all it gets. Finally some one has come along and turned a lame ass movie series into something much better and much greater. Full of some pretty intense emotion early on and a lot of wonderful actors and characters. Five out of five all the way. Go see it.
Jun. 20th, 2005 @ 07:42 am
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| » Assault on Precinct 13 |
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Ethan Hawke is an ex-under cover cop who after a bad bust winds up behind the desk at a run down police station that is scheduled to close. Huge winter storm comes to town and a bus transporting a high profile prisoner (Lawrence Fishburne) has to stay at the station over night. Thing is, there are a group of certain individuals who don't want to see Fishburne's character make it through the night.
This movie is fantastic. It's loaded with some really top notch action scenes. If you are a gun fan, you will have a blast looking at all of the different fire arms that are rolled out in this movie. Ethan Hawke does a great job as the troubled sergeant and Fishburne excels as always in his role as a bad ass mo fo. Throw in a few others like John Leguizamo and Ja Rule, who have small roles, and it's pretty well rounded out. Leguizamo certainly has some funny little tid bits here and there but Ja Rule is basically just there. The movie does get a little odd at certain spots, like when all of a sudden one of the characters convieniently remembers that there is access to the sewers through which they can try to escape. Then there is this scene where they wind up in a forest, where the hell did the woods come from? None of the wide shots show any sort of greenery. I guess they figured toward the end of the flick that throwing the final scenes in the woods would be cool. It works, but it certain is a choppy transition.
This movie gets a healthy four out of five skulls. It's action packed, some really intense scenes and it really doesn't happen to bog down to much along the way. The only thing it suffers from is the little hiccups of the woods and the convient "oh yeah there IS a way out." Barring those little misgivings, it's a great flick.
Jun. 12th, 2005 @ 07:24 pm
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| » Be Cool |
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The sequal to "Get Shorty" this movie certainly has a cast of big stars. John Travolta, Uma Thurman, James Woods, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the Entertainer, and (my personal favorite) The Rock. The list of big names that show up in this one could go on. Unfortunaly, for all the names, there is a horrid lackluster plot. Travolta is essentially dead pan through as much of this movie as I was able to put up with. The other characters while colorful and sometimes enertaining do not make this movie worth watching. I would try to describe the plot, but I have no idea what it is. Nor would I ever really want to find out at this point in time. This movie is a dud in the purest sense of the word. To put it in absolute bottom dollar terms, IF YOU SEE THIS MOVIE YOU WILL FALL ASLEEP! Why you do say that you ask? Because this movie has more of a sleep inducing affect than an entire bottle of green Nyquil ever could hope to come up with. I only feel the need to review this movie because I am obligated to, as a critic mind you, warn you of how incredibly rotten it is. If I saw this at the theatres my neck would be sore, the seats are not that comfortable to sleep in.
This movie recieves no skull. Yep thats right, none. Zip, zero, nada. I couldnt make it through the whole thing. If I did manage such an excercise of mental constitution, I would be obligated to give it one star. Don't see this one, it's really just that bad.
Jun. 12th, 2005 @ 07:09 pm
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| » Madagascar |
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Now here is an incredibly enjoyable movie. From the characters to the visual imagery, it all works and works well together. Marty the Zebra (voiced by Chris Rock), who has been raised in the New York Zoo, realizes that he longs for something more. That something more being "the wild". The penguins have been plotting their escape for some time and Marty gets the idea in his head that he is giong to break out as well. In his escape he winds up being accompanied by Alex the lion (Ben Stiller) who is the zoos star attraction, Melman the nuerotic giraffe (David Schwimmer), and Gloria the hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith). This do not go according to plan and with out revelaing much of the plot, in wonderful hollywood fashion they wind up on the sandy beaches of none other than Madagascar.
One of my favorite parts of this movie is the characters. The actors who voice them are truly perfect in each of their roles. Unlike certain other animated movies where they try to make the onscreen critters look like the actors who voice them. This movie doesn't try to do that at all. All of the creatures are incredibly funny, from the monkeys in the zoo, the lemurs of the jungle, and the penguins. The penguins being my personal favorite. The computer animation is fantastic, incredibly detailed where it counts yet still cartoony to make it a lot of fun. The movie is also filled with many references an older crowd will appreciate but it still keeps itself grounded for the younger audience.
A fantastic and incredibly enjoyable movie. Kids as well as adults will laugh hardcore at this one. Five out of five is what I give for this movies huge amount of fun and entertainment.
Jun. 1st, 2005 @ 07:49 am
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| » Shatter Dead |
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What the hell possesed a living breathing thinking human being to come up with this one? I have found one of the worst movies in creation. Thank you ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) whyisfiveorange you have found a movie that even I find rather ridiculous. The basic premise of this giant pile of doggy fecal matter is this, the angel of death impregnates a mortal woman. By this cataclyzmic event, the dead stop being dead and begin roaming around and trying to resume their lives when they left off. Ok, I realize this is an independant movie here, but honest to god if there are dead people in the movie make them look dead! Don't just throw a little grayish make up on a few of them and hope it flies. I feel as though my brain has been probed with a gardening spade. There is a particular scene that truly stands out to me in this horrid film, it is actually what they try to pass off as some sort of incredibly revolting sex scene. The parties involved are the female lead (not a zombie), her boyfriend (quite dead), and a semi-automatic hand gun. The boyfriend died via a wrist slashing, so as he explains he doesnt have any blood in his system to get hard anymore. This is where the hand gun come into the picture, it becomes some sort of ridiculous excuse for a strap on device. As deranged as my own personal imagination is, I never would have even thought of coming up with something like that. I truly implore you, if you see this movie on the shelf at your local video rental establishment, under no circumstances are you to rent it, ever. This is by far the worst god awful piece of regurgitated animal by-product I ever ever seen in all of my life. At least in "House of the Dead" the zombies looked like they were actually zombies. I now return you to your regularly scheduled program so that I may now burn my clothing and curl up in the fetal position in my shower.
This movie gets one skull. If I could go lower than one skull, I would. I do have some sort of rules I need to stick too.
May. 22nd, 2005 @ 04:24 pm
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| » The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy |
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OK, here is the deal, I had a whole review all written up, then I clicked the wrong thing and it was all blown away. So, this movie review will get a little more harsh than it originally was. The movie started with a preview to "Herbie: Fully Loaded" starring Lindsey Lohan. First off, I hate, despise, detest anything to do with Herbie and VW Beetles in general. This is only made even more intense by the fact that Lindsey Lohan is the biggest piece of trailer park trash out there. Who gave this snivelling piece of vile filth a movie career? Oh that's right, Nickelodeon. I hate you Nick. I only hope that the fate of Ms. trailer park queen is to spiral into obscurity and then when she lands right back in the double-wide from wence she crawled, I hope that she is beaten by her red neck inbred husband. Oh wait that's not PC enough, maybe she will accidentally fall on a whole bunch of doorknobs. Alright, that is my lashing out at hollywood douche bag. Now for the movie. Hitchhiker's is basically summed up as: dude gets saved from devastation of earth by his bud who is actually an alien. Dude ends up being reunited with old love interest from once upon a time. Dude's love interest is abducted. Plot dictates she needs to be rescued. Antics ensue. Along with the main players there is a depressed robot, two headed dude, mice, John Malkavich?!, and a whole cast of other oddities. There are some very likeable characters as well as plenty of live action critters that are very muppetish. I hate movies where all and I repeat all of the special effects are CGI or some form there of. I like the old school movies where there is a physical critter running around you could put your hands on or all over and pick its nose. The only one to do the CGI stuff right is Petey Jackson with the Lord of the Rings business, but that's a whole nother can of worms entirely. Ok back to Hitchhiker's, do I have too? Might as well finish it up. There was a few pretty funny spots in this movie, nothing great enough to salvage it.
The only reason this movie squeeks by with a two skuller is because it made me laugh a little, that's it. I have never read the book, after seeing Hitchhikers, I still have no desire to read the books.
May. 8th, 2005 @ 10:42 pm
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| » The Incredibles |
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While certainly a cool looking and enjoyable movie for the younger crowd, The Incredibles really didn't have the ability to hold my attention. Basic premise being do good super heroes are forced into mundane lives after people get ticked off at them for some reason or another. Super hereoes get older, have kids, and get festivley plump as well. Mr. Incredible is unable to forget the glory days of his career and years for the good ol days of rescuing people. He ends up back in the super hero gig by some shady character. Get's duped, captured, and the rest of his super hero family have to come bail his ass out. That's pretty much the whole plot wrap up. There's a lot of funny situations and great characters but not enough to keep me from wanting to grab the remote and think twice about putting it back down and watch the rest of it. I am a fan of anything by Pixar and they certainly delivered in the graphical eye candy.
Visually fantastic, likable hero characters, acceptable plot. This one rolls in with a 3 out of 5.
May. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:12 pm
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| » Alien vs. Predator |
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Both of the major players in this one are favorites of mine. But when push comes to shove my money is on the Predators all day long. Technologically more superior, smarter, much more bad ass, the Predators totally rock the house in this one. The Aliens are still as tenacious and drooly as ever, see thing about them I don't really enjoy all that much is the fact that if they just multiply enough they can over run pretty much anything. Big friggan whoop. Ok well anyways, that said, back to the movie itself. This is another one of those movies where the plot is as thin as the toilet paper I wipe my ass with, but does that make it a bad movie? Certainly not. This is a movie you go to see so you can root for your favorite bad ass critter. Much like "Freddy vs. Jason" the humans are here to move the thin plot forward and fill the gaps inbetween the times where the Predators and Aliens are slamming it out with one another. You will recognize a few low level actors in this one too. The types of guys that make you go, hey where do I know him from. They are there, and they are lunch meat. The only real actor of note is every ones favorite Lance Henriksen. He is just kinda there, nothing to spectacular on his part. The fights are great. If there is one thing I would really like more of is more sicked out dragged out phosphurescent blood spilling, acid dripping fights. The ones that are here are fantastic. I truly do hope they make another. In the same way I hope Freddy vs Jason rolls out with a new one.
I'm giving Alien vs Predator a 4 out of 5. Could have been better, but what was there I did enjoy.
May. 2nd, 2005 @ 09:30 pm
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| » Pending reviews... |
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Alien vs Predator
The Incredibles
The Court Jester
ummm.... more to follow...
May. 2nd, 2005 @ 02:27 pm
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| » Napoleon Dynamite |
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This is one very very off beat movie. I really don't know where I sit on this one. As far as I can figure the plot of this one has to do with something about the lead character Napoleon Dynamite, he meets a mexican kid by the name of Pedro who just transfered to the school, befriends him, then helps him as he runs for el presidente of the student council. Some girl named Deb ends up joining the two. They are geeks to the highest degree of geekery, and it shows when they are in school. Napoleon is slammed into lockers, sits pretty much by himself, keeps left over taters tots in his pants pocket. The tater tots provide for an amusing scene when he refuses to share them with one of the jock types, the jock retaliates by smooshing the pocket full of tater tots. Pedro running for the class president is great. Especially when he hangs a pinata up and the other students beat the hell out of it. The pinata closely resembles his adversary in the election, one of the popular girls. The characters themselves are really amusing individuals, Napoleon's uncle who is longs for 1982, Kip his older brother who as equally geeky sits online in chatrooms all day with his "soulmate". Diedrich Bader of "Office Space" fame shows up as a not quite right martial arts instructor. All in all the movie is pretty funny. There are some real good laugh out loud situations.
3 out of 5 skulls. Funny yes, pointless, that too.
Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 09:15 am
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| » Freddy vs. Jason |
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An excellent movie to just kick back with friends. I would watch this flick over and over again, laughing all the way. One of the best things about this movie is you don't actually have to go back and watch all the umpteen bazillion "Nightmare on Elm Street" or "Friday the 13th" movies to enjoy this one. It excels in not taking itself to seroiusly, not like a movie of this sort ever could. Dare I say this one is light-hearted in a sense? There are some real laugh out loud funny bits. Freddy vs Jason is almost like an over the top wresting event when they really get going at each other. Personally I think everthing that leads up to their knock down drag out brawl is just fluff and filler. Couldn't even tell you who of the other actors are that get offed, their only real true purpose in this movie is to spray blood like a garden hose after they are slashed/stabbed/hacked/cleaved/punctured/mutilated by either Freddy's glove or Jason's bitchin machete. My money was always on Jason, dude rocks hardcore. I can only hope for a sequal to a masterpiece of hack and slash fun such as this.
This one firmly gets a 5 out of 5 skulls. Put it on rotation in your movie collection for a bloody good time.
Apr. 27th, 2005 @ 12:52 pm
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| » Brotherhood of the Wolf |
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Well I am gonna have to say, the French can make an action flick. I found myself really enjoying this movie. Like I said, when there is a throw down in this movie, it's serious bussiness. So all in all, the movie consists of Some taxidermist (who can kick ass and take names) and his Indian side kick (who kicks even more ass), some pack of gypsy looking buggers, a brothel full of women, throw in a one armed man and a big sicked out looking wolf thing and you have all the major players in this movie. There is a love story, I guess, mixed into the mess some where as well as a the taxidermist dude nailin some wierd gypsy mystic knife wielding hotty. It's a really cool movie to look at, the atmosphere is great. especially when they are out hunting the wolf. I gotta say, for a taxidermist, this guy really knows how to sling some blades around in a major major way. I don't want to give away too many of the good points, but I was really sad to see the loss of one of the cooler characters in here, and he didn't even fall to the wolf, it was total cheese the way he got offed. This is a pretty solid flick, and unlike "Plunkett and Macleane" the single shot pistols and rifles didn't piss me off. It's good stuff check it out.
Brotherhood scores four skulls. Great action, pretty good story, and memorable characters.
Apr. 26th, 2005 @ 09:06 pm
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