They float out there, sending out reading parties (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} grapho_spasm) wrote in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} inevitableslash,@ 2006-01-31 04:18:00 |
|
Challenge # 3--Fic: Do you like my raptor?
Uhm, my first forray into Wash... beyond snippets. (THE HORROR) I hope it's ok.
Title: Do you like my raptor?
Fandom: Firefly, Pre-series. Assume no mustache, and no Inara cause I forgot her. (sorry Inara). I may have wreaked merry havok with the crew's arrivals. er.. sorry. I tried not to.
Pairing: Jayne/Wash, Mal/Zoe
Rating: PG-13? There's no humpin, though there's cursin, and mentions of humpin.
Warnings: Slightly fluffy there at the end. *is a sap*
“Sir.” Zoë’s voice was tinny and intermittent over their rigged comm.
“Zoë?”
“I think you better come take a look at the man you hired.”
“I’ve seen him.”
“I think you’d better see him now, Sir.”
“Is there something you wanna tell me? Somethin wrong with my ship?”
“Mal…”
“All right, all right. I’m comin.” Mal clicked off the comm and sighed. Whatever it was about the new pilot that was buggin’ Zoë was makin his life a living hell. Every few days she’d catch that feng le Wash doing something or other and bother Mal about it, and well—he’d had enough already. He was tired, and he had a million other things to get done before they’d be able to take his new girl into the sky for the first time, and Zoë was actin just about the weirdest he’d ever seen her be. It was…a might frustrating.
Mal stomped down the passageway towards the bridge where he could see Zoë hovering around the door to the cockpit. She heard him coming and turned and put a finger to her lips to signal quiet. Mal rolled his eyes as he exaggeratedly tip-toed to the door and stuck his head over her shoulder. Well … ta-ma-freakin-de…
“No no no,” Wash was whispering, “it’ll be ok Julie—the sticky is so that you don’t fall. What’s that?” he paused and listened for a moment then chuckled. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t do anything that would hurt your pedicure. Yes, it’s a beautiful color. Ok, now you stay right here… Yes, shhh, yes I know you hate him. I’m gonna put him wayyyy over here on the other side ok? Yes, I’ll put the palm tree in the middle. Geez…”
Mal turned wide eyes towards Zoë, who looked calmly smug and raised one eyebrow.
“What the fuck?” Mal mouthed.
Zoë shrugged and motioned that he should follow her to the kitchen. When they got there she spun on her heel and stared him down.
“Zo,” Mal sighed, “was our new pilot just talkin to some gorram plastic dinosaurs?”
“Toy dinosaurs, Sir. Children’s toys.”
Mal glared at her. “Yeah, well I thought they might be adult toys so I’m glad you cleared me up on that.”
Zoë shrugged. “He might use them as adult toys.”
Mal’s nose scrunched. “That ain’t right.”
“Didn’t say it was, Sir.”
“Not on my bridge he’s not gonna!” Mal shouted in horror.
Zoë just stared.
Mal put a hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed the sore muscles there. “Do you think he’s…I mean is he crazy or slow or what?”
“Couldn’t say.”
Mal sighed and glared at Zoë. She was bein awful smug and very little useful right now. It was a weird look for her…not something he really thought he’d ever see. “Well,” he hedged, “can’t say there’s much we can do about it now—I already hired the man. We’ll see how he goes and if he’s nuts we’ll shoot and space him.”
Zoë smiled. “Is that the plan?”
“He’s got recommendations! Real ones! I don’t care if he plays with his gorram self all day, I’m not gonna fire a pilot like him without giving it a try.”
She nodded and sighed. “Yeah.”
“We’ll see how it goes.” Mal affirmed. “It’s just two plastic dinosaurs. It’s a quirk. He’s eccentric.”
The smile flashed over her face again briefly. “If you say so, Sir.”
He nodded. “I do.”
“You may wanna steer clear of our new pilot,” Mal was telling the merc. What was his name? Something girly…Sue? Gladys? … no..it was Jayne. Gorram crazy pilot and a girly merc. He shook his head, his life was ridiculous.
“Why?” Jayne grunted.
“He may be a little light in the brain cavity, but he can fly like a bird so we tend to ignore it. Reckon it’s best not to rile him up.”
The big man looked like he was thinkin for a minute, then nodded. “Reckon.”
“Er, good.” Mal said. “I’m just gonna go check on my mechanic…make sure she’s…mechanic-ing…she’s new too, a real changing of the guard around here lately…”
Jayne grunted again and glanced down at the bunk the Captain said was his, then towards the bridge where the apparently feng le pilot was at. He didn’t like gorram crazy people.
“Uh, Jayne, is it?” Mal asked.
“What?”
“Are we gonna have a problem about the pilot?”
“Naw, ‘s long as he don’t go bat-shit and crash us.”
Mal’s lips stretched into a Cheshire grin. “From your mouth to tiny little babies’ ears.”
“Huh?”
Mal chuckled a little. “Nothin. You get settled in. I’ll fill you in on the first job at dinner.”
Jayne nodded and threw his duffle into his bunk, climbing down and slamming the hatch behind him.
Mal shook his head and sighed. He was loosing all faith in his ability to judge character.
That girl called Kaylee smiled real big and winked at Jayne at dinner. “You’ll like it on Serenity,” she gushed, “everybody’s real nice and we all get on so well.”
He stared at the happy girl. “’S that right?”
“Yep! And now we got you it’s really startin to feel like a full house around here. It’ll be fun.”
“I ain’t really fun.” It was botherin him how he didn’t want to shoot her down the whole way.
“I’m sure you’re loads of fun,” that weird ass pilot was talkin to him now. “What with all your guns and ammo, you’re like your own little dictatorship of excitement!”
Now, what do you reckon that meant?
Wash grinned as he stared out at the black. This crew was a trip. ‘Course, they were avoiding him like the plague for some reason, but that was ok.
How that manic Captain and his sullen first mate had assembled them all was insane—almost literally—and he was obviously the most levelheaded of the bunch but they walked around him like he was liable to blow at any moment. It was weird, and fabulous, and incredibly boringly lonely.
He picked up Julie the stegosaurus and peered into her eyes as if she might have the answer to what he had to do to form a relationship with the rest of the crew. Alas, her shiny black eyes stared back at him without response.
He heard the clunk of boots on the metallic grating of the passageway and sighed. Undoubtedly, he was about to be treated to another staggeringly uncomfortable visit from the Captain. He pushed Julie back on her perch and tried to look busy.
The boots trundled onto the bridge and stopped beside his chair, but he instinctively knew something was wrong. The tread had been a little heavy. When he looked up he saw the new merc standing beside him, eyes aimed up, looking into the black.
“What does dictatorship of fun mean?” Jayne asked, leveling his gaze on Wash.
“I, uh, I think I said excitement.”
Jayne sat down in the co-pilot’s seat and stared across at him.
Wash ran a hand through his hair. “I was being sarcastic. A dictatorship is a bad place. And…I’m not big on guns and stuff.”
“You weren’t in the war?”
“No,” Wash lied. “Well, not exactly.”
Jayne nodded like that was enough. “Don’t sass to me again. I weren’t lyin to that girl. I ain’t fun and I ain’t nice.”
Wash held up his hands in surrender. “Consider me warned.”
Jayne walked over and picked up the plastic palm tree. “You play with toys?” he asked Wash.
“I like dinosaurs.”
“Why the tree then?”
“Well, see, Julie doesn’t like to talk to Bob—they have a very complicated relationship.”
Jayne stared down at him. “What kinda tree is this? I ain’t never seen one like it.”
Wash grinned. “It’s a palm tree. They have them in tropical places. Do you like it?”
“It’s like the ones on your shirts.”
“Uhm, yeah.” Wash frowned.
“They’re all right.” Jayne put the tree down on the wrong side of Bob, and walked out of the bridge. As he was leaving he heard Wash whispering behind him.
“Oh no! Julie. That giant man has left you open to attack, and I think Bob is on the prowl.” He picked up the stegosaurus and held her to his ear. “I know, I know…I did tell him, but Bob just won’t believe that a Tyrannosaurus and a Stegosaurus can’t make babies together…I know… he’s a moron. Yes, I’m sorry I bought him—how many times do I have to say it?”
Jayne paused in the door and shook his head to prevent a smile. That man was dog-humpin crazy. No two ways about it.
“No, it’ll be shiny Cap’n,” Jayne could hear that bubbly gorram mechanic wheedling the captain from halfway across the ship.
“Kaylee,” Mal warned. “I said, no.”
“Pleaasseee, Cap’n sir?” Jayne smirked, he won’t in the room but he could see her big pleading eyes as clear as day. Girl was about five minutes from getting what she wanted.
“Fine.” Mal sighed. Jayne snorked, what a wimp.
“Good, but don’t tell him ok? I want it to be a surprise.”
“This don’t require a present, does it?” Mal asked warily.
“Of course it does.”
Jayne walked in the kitchen. “What needs a present?”
Kaylee tripped over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, pulling to bring him down to her level, and whispered into his ear. “Wash’s birthday party.”
“Huh?” Sure, he’d been getting used to this new crew over the past couple months but a birthday party?
“It’s gonna be tonight,” she whispered, “after dinner. We’re gonna have cake and everything.” Her eyes was shining so bright that he couldn’t bear to grump at her. This gorram ship was gonna turn him soft, he was sure of it.
“Absolutely not. I still don’t like him.”
“Zoë, I order you to show up.”
“That’s not fair.”
Mal glanced up in surprise. That had sounded almost petulant. He smirked. “I also order you to go out and buy him a birthday present from us.”
Zoë glared daggers at him and marched out of the cargo bay into the bustle of Beaumonde. He hoped she’d be back.
“That weren’t half bad for a little kid’s birthday party,” Jayne nudged Wash in the side. They sat companionably on the couch in the lounge, long after everyone had gone to bed, enjoying Jayne’s present to Wash. Real, actual, whiskey.
“Did you like it?” Wash slurred. “I thought it was a little pastiche. But, well, I got presents,” he grinned goofily.
“Yeah. That’s a gorram awful shirt.” Jayne chuckled.
“Who knew the woman who only wears brown would have such bad taste in tropical outerwear?” he snickered.
Jayne sighed and slouched further down into the couch. “We live on a boat with some weird ass people.”
“Tha’s not fair. I really like my inflatable raptor. Kaylee’s so cute.” Wash held it up and made it walk across his lap. The damn thing was nearly half as tall as he was.
“D’you like her or somethin?”
Wash giggled. “No, not as such.”
“That Zoë then?”
He all out guffawed. “You mean, ‘she who hates me with a passion’? I’m not that masochistic.”
“What?”
“I don’t like emotional pain that much.”
“Yeah. She’s real tasty but I don’t reckon she’d be worth it. ‘Sides. I think I heard her and Mal goin at it last night.”
Wash rolled his head to the side to look at Jayne. “No!?” he gasped. Then sputtered and punched Jayne on the shoulder. “You shoulda come and tolds me.”
Jayne half-shrugged. “You could only hear it a little in my bunk.”
“Dirty old man.” Wash grinned.
Jayne frowned and tapped him on the head. “I ain’t old yet.”
“’S an expression.” Wash sighed. “Do you like Kaylee?”
“She’s too…” he trailed off, thinkin, “she’s too much everythin, you know? She makes me tired.”
“Yeah.”
Jayne laughed and turned to face Wash. “You’re jokin, little man, you’re at least as hyper as she is.”
Wash shrugged. “It’s different.”
Jayne looked at him hard and nodded. “I reckon it is.”
They sat in silence for awhile, Jayne chugging more than his share of the whiskey and Wash fiddling with this blow-up raptor. Both sliding ever further into the couch as the buzz of real alcohol thinned his blood and made him relax.
“Do you think this means they’ll like me now?” Wash finally asked.
“What?”
“Everyone hates me, they think I’m … nuts or something. It’s suck.”
“Suck, huh?”
Wash nodded firmly. “Suck.”
“I reckon little Kaylee likes you. Party was her idea.”
He frowned. “She likes everybody. She doesn’t count.”
Jayne stared at a spot on the wall, about an inch to the left of Wash’s face. “Who were you wantin’ to like you? Cap’n or Zoë?”
Wash shrugged. “’Dunno, just… I’m tired of no one liking me. Everyone used to like me. I’m really really likeable.”
Jayne smiled. “You’re likeable enough.”
“Do you like me?” Wash’s eyes were earnest.
“Yeah, little man. I like you.” Jayne shifted his gaze and met Wash’s, before glancing down at the floor and tilting the whiskey bottle again.
Wash grinned. “Do you like my raptor?” he asked.
Jayne looked up, only to find Wash and gotten up on his knees and walked the raptor across the couch to him. “Yer raptor.” he repeated.
“Yes, my big beautiful blow up raptor.”
“It’s a fine raptor. What’re you gonna call him?”
“Jayne.”
“What?”
“No that’s what I’m gonna call him.”
“Oh. Why?”
“Because I’m gonna take him to bed with me and cuddle him.” Wash quirked his eyebrows up and down.
Jayne guffawed and smacked Wash on the shoulder lightly. “You are insane, flyboy.”
“Yeah,” Wash sighed, flopping down beside Jayne and resting his head on the merc’s shoulder. “But that’s what made you talk to me.”
Jayne peered down at the head on his shoulder. Wash’s hair was the funniest blonde, shot through with red like Persephone’s sun. He brought one arm up and rested it on Wash’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “I reckon so.”
“It’s ok then.”
“Yeah.”
“You wanna go play dinosaurs?”
Jayne reached down and tilted Wash’s face up to look at him. “Do you?” he asked.
“Not…especially.”
Jayne smiled and traced the contours of Wash’s jaw with his forefinger. “What do you wanna do then?”
Wash rolled his eyes and pushed up the extra inch, catching Jayne in a surprised laugh with his kiss.
“You see,” Mal whispered. “I told you it weren’t nothin. He was lonely. You were just bein suspicious.”
Zoë glared at him.
“What?”
“He heard us?”
Mal smiled and buffed his fingernails on his shirt. “I recollect him sayin somethin to that effect. Why?”
“’Soundproof,’ you said.”
Mal shrugged as he backed up a step, then squeaked like a little girl as he took off down the hall—Zoë in pursuit.
Uhm, my first forray into Wash... beyond snippets. (THE HORROR) I hope it's ok.
Title: Do you like my raptor?
Fandom: Firefly, Pre-series. Assume no mustache, and no Inara cause I forgot her. (sorry Inara). I may have wreaked merry havok with the crew's arrivals. er.. sorry. I tried not to.
Pairing: Jayne/Wash, Mal/Zoe
Rating: PG-13? There's no humpin, though there's cursin, and mentions of humpin.
Warnings: Slightly fluffy there at the end. *is a sap*
“Sir.” Zoë’s voice was tinny and intermittent over their rigged comm.
“Zoë?”
“I think you better come take a look at the man you hired.”
“I’ve seen him.”
“I think you’d better see him now, Sir.”
“Is there something you wanna tell me? Somethin wrong with my ship?”
“Mal…”
“All right, all right. I’m comin.” Mal clicked off the comm and sighed. Whatever it was about the new pilot that was buggin’ Zoë was makin his life a living hell. Every few days she’d catch that feng le Wash doing something or other and bother Mal about it, and well—he’d had enough already. He was tired, and he had a million other things to get done before they’d be able to take his new girl into the sky for the first time, and Zoë was actin just about the weirdest he’d ever seen her be. It was…a might frustrating.
Mal stomped down the passageway towards the bridge where he could see Zoë hovering around the door to the cockpit. She heard him coming and turned and put a finger to her lips to signal quiet. Mal rolled his eyes as he exaggeratedly tip-toed to the door and stuck his head over her shoulder. Well … ta-ma-freakin-de…
“No no no,” Wash was whispering, “it’ll be ok Julie—the sticky is so that you don’t fall. What’s that?” he paused and listened for a moment then chuckled. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t do anything that would hurt your pedicure. Yes, it’s a beautiful color. Ok, now you stay right here… Yes, shhh, yes I know you hate him. I’m gonna put him wayyyy over here on the other side ok? Yes, I’ll put the palm tree in the middle. Geez…”
Mal turned wide eyes towards Zoë, who looked calmly smug and raised one eyebrow.
“What the fuck?” Mal mouthed.
Zoë shrugged and motioned that he should follow her to the kitchen. When they got there she spun on her heel and stared him down.
“Zo,” Mal sighed, “was our new pilot just talkin to some gorram plastic dinosaurs?”
“Toy dinosaurs, Sir. Children’s toys.”
Mal glared at her. “Yeah, well I thought they might be adult toys so I’m glad you cleared me up on that.”
Zoë shrugged. “He might use them as adult toys.”
Mal’s nose scrunched. “That ain’t right.”
“Didn’t say it was, Sir.”
“Not on my bridge he’s not gonna!” Mal shouted in horror.
Zoë just stared.
Mal put a hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed the sore muscles there. “Do you think he’s…I mean is he crazy or slow or what?”
“Couldn’t say.”
Mal sighed and glared at Zoë. She was bein awful smug and very little useful right now. It was a weird look for her…not something he really thought he’d ever see. “Well,” he hedged, “can’t say there’s much we can do about it now—I already hired the man. We’ll see how he goes and if he’s nuts we’ll shoot and space him.”
Zoë smiled. “Is that the plan?”
“He’s got recommendations! Real ones! I don’t care if he plays with his gorram self all day, I’m not gonna fire a pilot like him without giving it a try.”
She nodded and sighed. “Yeah.”
“We’ll see how it goes.” Mal affirmed. “It’s just two plastic dinosaurs. It’s a quirk. He’s eccentric.”
The smile flashed over her face again briefly. “If you say so, Sir.”
He nodded. “I do.”
“You may wanna steer clear of our new pilot,” Mal was telling the merc. What was his name? Something girly…Sue? Gladys? … no..it was Jayne. Gorram crazy pilot and a girly merc. He shook his head, his life was ridiculous.
“Why?” Jayne grunted.
“He may be a little light in the brain cavity, but he can fly like a bird so we tend to ignore it. Reckon it’s best not to rile him up.”
The big man looked like he was thinkin for a minute, then nodded. “Reckon.”
“Er, good.” Mal said. “I’m just gonna go check on my mechanic…make sure she’s…mechanic-ing…she’s new too, a real changing of the guard around here lately…”
Jayne grunted again and glanced down at the bunk the Captain said was his, then towards the bridge where the apparently feng le pilot was at. He didn’t like gorram crazy people.
“Uh, Jayne, is it?” Mal asked.
“What?”
“Are we gonna have a problem about the pilot?”
“Naw, ‘s long as he don’t go bat-shit and crash us.”
Mal’s lips stretched into a Cheshire grin. “From your mouth to tiny little babies’ ears.”
“Huh?”
Mal chuckled a little. “Nothin. You get settled in. I’ll fill you in on the first job at dinner.”
Jayne nodded and threw his duffle into his bunk, climbing down and slamming the hatch behind him.
Mal shook his head and sighed. He was loosing all faith in his ability to judge character.
That girl called Kaylee smiled real big and winked at Jayne at dinner. “You’ll like it on Serenity,” she gushed, “everybody’s real nice and we all get on so well.”
He stared at the happy girl. “’S that right?”
“Yep! And now we got you it’s really startin to feel like a full house around here. It’ll be fun.”
“I ain’t really fun.” It was botherin him how he didn’t want to shoot her down the whole way.
“I’m sure you’re loads of fun,” that weird ass pilot was talkin to him now. “What with all your guns and ammo, you’re like your own little dictatorship of excitement!”
Now, what do you reckon that meant?
Wash grinned as he stared out at the black. This crew was a trip. ‘Course, they were avoiding him like the plague for some reason, but that was ok.
How that manic Captain and his sullen first mate had assembled them all was insane—almost literally—and he was obviously the most levelheaded of the bunch but they walked around him like he was liable to blow at any moment. It was weird, and fabulous, and incredibly boringly lonely.
He picked up Julie the stegosaurus and peered into her eyes as if she might have the answer to what he had to do to form a relationship with the rest of the crew. Alas, her shiny black eyes stared back at him without response.
He heard the clunk of boots on the metallic grating of the passageway and sighed. Undoubtedly, he was about to be treated to another staggeringly uncomfortable visit from the Captain. He pushed Julie back on her perch and tried to look busy.
The boots trundled onto the bridge and stopped beside his chair, but he instinctively knew something was wrong. The tread had been a little heavy. When he looked up he saw the new merc standing beside him, eyes aimed up, looking into the black.
“What does dictatorship of fun mean?” Jayne asked, leveling his gaze on Wash.
“I, uh, I think I said excitement.”
Jayne sat down in the co-pilot’s seat and stared across at him.
Wash ran a hand through his hair. “I was being sarcastic. A dictatorship is a bad place. And…I’m not big on guns and stuff.”
“You weren’t in the war?”
“No,” Wash lied. “Well, not exactly.”
Jayne nodded like that was enough. “Don’t sass to me again. I weren’t lyin to that girl. I ain’t fun and I ain’t nice.”
Wash held up his hands in surrender. “Consider me warned.”
Jayne walked over and picked up the plastic palm tree. “You play with toys?” he asked Wash.
“I like dinosaurs.”
“Why the tree then?”
“Well, see, Julie doesn’t like to talk to Bob—they have a very complicated relationship.”
Jayne stared down at him. “What kinda tree is this? I ain’t never seen one like it.”
Wash grinned. “It’s a palm tree. They have them in tropical places. Do you like it?”
“It’s like the ones on your shirts.”
“Uhm, yeah.” Wash frowned.
“They’re all right.” Jayne put the tree down on the wrong side of Bob, and walked out of the bridge. As he was leaving he heard Wash whispering behind him.
“Oh no! Julie. That giant man has left you open to attack, and I think Bob is on the prowl.” He picked up the stegosaurus and held her to his ear. “I know, I know…I did tell him, but Bob just won’t believe that a Tyrannosaurus and a Stegosaurus can’t make babies together…I know… he’s a moron. Yes, I’m sorry I bought him—how many times do I have to say it?”
Jayne paused in the door and shook his head to prevent a smile. That man was dog-humpin crazy. No two ways about it.
“No, it’ll be shiny Cap’n,” Jayne could hear that bubbly gorram mechanic wheedling the captain from halfway across the ship.
“Kaylee,” Mal warned. “I said, no.”
“Pleaasseee, Cap’n sir?” Jayne smirked, he won’t in the room but he could see her big pleading eyes as clear as day. Girl was about five minutes from getting what she wanted.
“Fine.” Mal sighed. Jayne snorked, what a wimp.
“Good, but don’t tell him ok? I want it to be a surprise.”
“This don’t require a present, does it?” Mal asked warily.
“Of course it does.”
Jayne walked in the kitchen. “What needs a present?”
Kaylee tripped over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, pulling to bring him down to her level, and whispered into his ear. “Wash’s birthday party.”
“Huh?” Sure, he’d been getting used to this new crew over the past couple months but a birthday party?
“It’s gonna be tonight,” she whispered, “after dinner. We’re gonna have cake and everything.” Her eyes was shining so bright that he couldn’t bear to grump at her. This gorram ship was gonna turn him soft, he was sure of it.
“Absolutely not. I still don’t like him.”
“Zoë, I order you to show up.”
“That’s not fair.”
Mal glanced up in surprise. That had sounded almost petulant. He smirked. “I also order you to go out and buy him a birthday present from us.”
Zoë glared daggers at him and marched out of the cargo bay into the bustle of Beaumonde. He hoped she’d be back.
“That weren’t half bad for a little kid’s birthday party,” Jayne nudged Wash in the side. They sat companionably on the couch in the lounge, long after everyone had gone to bed, enjoying Jayne’s present to Wash. Real, actual, whiskey.
“Did you like it?” Wash slurred. “I thought it was a little pastiche. But, well, I got presents,” he grinned goofily.
“Yeah. That’s a gorram awful shirt.” Jayne chuckled.
“Who knew the woman who only wears brown would have such bad taste in tropical outerwear?” he snickered.
Jayne sighed and slouched further down into the couch. “We live on a boat with some weird ass people.”
“Tha’s not fair. I really like my inflatable raptor. Kaylee’s so cute.” Wash held it up and made it walk across his lap. The damn thing was nearly half as tall as he was.
“D’you like her or somethin?”
Wash giggled. “No, not as such.”
“That Zoë then?”
He all out guffawed. “You mean, ‘she who hates me with a passion’? I’m not that masochistic.”
“What?”
“I don’t like emotional pain that much.”
“Yeah. She’s real tasty but I don’t reckon she’d be worth it. ‘Sides. I think I heard her and Mal goin at it last night.”
Wash rolled his head to the side to look at Jayne. “No!?” he gasped. Then sputtered and punched Jayne on the shoulder. “You shoulda come and tolds me.”
Jayne half-shrugged. “You could only hear it a little in my bunk.”
“Dirty old man.” Wash grinned.
Jayne frowned and tapped him on the head. “I ain’t old yet.”
“’S an expression.” Wash sighed. “Do you like Kaylee?”
“She’s too…” he trailed off, thinkin, “she’s too much everythin, you know? She makes me tired.”
“Yeah.”
Jayne laughed and turned to face Wash. “You’re jokin, little man, you’re at least as hyper as she is.”
Wash shrugged. “It’s different.”
Jayne looked at him hard and nodded. “I reckon it is.”
They sat in silence for awhile, Jayne chugging more than his share of the whiskey and Wash fiddling with this blow-up raptor. Both sliding ever further into the couch as the buzz of real alcohol thinned his blood and made him relax.
“Do you think this means they’ll like me now?” Wash finally asked.
“What?”
“Everyone hates me, they think I’m … nuts or something. It’s suck.”
“Suck, huh?”
Wash nodded firmly. “Suck.”
“I reckon little Kaylee likes you. Party was her idea.”
He frowned. “She likes everybody. She doesn’t count.”
Jayne stared at a spot on the wall, about an inch to the left of Wash’s face. “Who were you wantin’ to like you? Cap’n or Zoë?”
Wash shrugged. “’Dunno, just… I’m tired of no one liking me. Everyone used to like me. I’m really really likeable.”
Jayne smiled. “You’re likeable enough.”
“Do you like me?” Wash’s eyes were earnest.
“Yeah, little man. I like you.” Jayne shifted his gaze and met Wash’s, before glancing down at the floor and tilting the whiskey bottle again.
Wash grinned. “Do you like my raptor?” he asked.
Jayne looked up, only to find Wash and gotten up on his knees and walked the raptor across the couch to him. “Yer raptor.” he repeated.
“Yes, my big beautiful blow up raptor.”
“It’s a fine raptor. What’re you gonna call him?”
“Jayne.”
“What?”
“No that’s what I’m gonna call him.”
“Oh. Why?”
“Because I’m gonna take him to bed with me and cuddle him.” Wash quirked his eyebrows up and down.
Jayne guffawed and smacked Wash on the shoulder lightly. “You are insane, flyboy.”
“Yeah,” Wash sighed, flopping down beside Jayne and resting his head on the merc’s shoulder. “But that’s what made you talk to me.”
Jayne peered down at the head on his shoulder. Wash’s hair was the funniest blonde, shot through with red like Persephone’s sun. He brought one arm up and rested it on Wash’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “I reckon so.”
“It’s ok then.”
“Yeah.”
“You wanna go play dinosaurs?”
Jayne reached down and tilted Wash’s face up to look at him. “Do you?” he asked.
“Not…especially.”
Jayne smiled and traced the contours of Wash’s jaw with his forefinger. “What do you wanna do then?”
Wash rolled his eyes and pushed up the extra inch, catching Jayne in a surprised laugh with his kiss.
“You see,” Mal whispered. “I told you it weren’t nothin. He was lonely. You were just bein suspicious.”
Zoë glared at him.
“What?”
“He heard us?”
Mal smiled and buffed his fingernails on his shirt. “I recollect him sayin somethin to that effect. Why?”
“’Soundproof,’ you said.”
Mal shrugged as he backed up a step, then squeaked like a little girl as he took off down the hall—Zoë in pursuit.
