Current mood:	amused
Current music:	"Dude Looks Like A Lady" - Aerosmith

Title : "Guess It's Just You And Me"
Author : moofoot
Rating : Pg-13, only for language. House swears a bunch in this one.
Warnings : None, besides the language.
Pairing : House/Cuddy
Summary : Dr. House and Dr. Cuddy get to spend some quality time together. *snerk*
Notes : This is another one of those fics I was challenged to write, the four objects were : An elevator, a cane, a Playboy magazine, and a chihuahua. This, is what it turned into. Enjoy!



As soon as he'd stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby of the clinic, House groaned and leaned his head back. "Dammit to hell." He sighed and shut his eyes, before turning around and pressing the button for the elevators. The clinic was at least empty, thank God, but it was nearly one in the morning. The clinic was always empty at one in the morning. He stepped onto the elevator once the door opened again, and hit the button for his floor and leaned up against the wall.

He walked down the silent, darkened hall to his office, pushing the door open and walking over to his desk. Flipping through a few stacks of files, he smiled when he found the one he wanted. It was empty, except for the February issue of Playboy and this years Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. "Can't leave you lovely ladies here at work, someone would find you and lust over you, and with my luck it'd be Foreman and he'd end up reporting me to Cuddy." He muttered softly, sticking the folder in his bag and heading back out. He hit the button for the elevator and waited, planning on going home and pouring himself a glass of scotch and crashing out on the couch with Miss February and her centerfold pull out pages.

When the doors slid open, he just stared, then shook his head to do a double take.

"Dr. House, I was looking for you and the night guard said you'd headed back upstairs. We need to talk about your clinic hours, you're behind this week unless you're planning on doing all four tomorrow." Dr. Cuddy smiled at him.

"I thought vampires hunted at night. Shouldn't you be out in some dark alley jumping men and sucking them dry?" He thought about the double connotation of that and smirked as he stepped into the elevator, hitting the button for the lobby and leaning back up against the wall. "Or have you already gotten your fill this evening? And by the way, that's a lovely bag. Do you use it to carry supplies?"

"That could count as sexual harrasment House." She snapped, rolling her eyes. "Clinic hours, you're behind. You planning on making them up or am I gonna have to ride your ass again like I did last week?"

"Was I unconcious? I don't remember getting ridden at all last week, at least by you. There was this one girl though...but she was blonde."

"Oh God." She groaned, before turning and glaring at him. "Dr. House you need to make up your clinic hours."

"Well --" He was cut off when the elevator suddenly stopped and went dark. "No. Fucking. Way." He snapped after a minute. "No! Fucking! Way!"

"Shut up Greg."

"You shut up!" He barked after the emergency lights came on. "What'd you do, forget to pay the bill?" He growled out, extremely ticked off. "This. Is. Not. Happening."

"Get out of your dream world, it is." She walked over to the emergency phone and picked it up, putting it to her ear and dialing the number listed. "Just relax, and we'll get out of here as soon as we can."

"This isn't a dream it's a nightmare." He groaned, dropping his head back against the wood paneling. "What on earth did I do to deserve this? Why?!"

"Yes, this is Dr. Cuddy calling from Princeton - Plaisboro Teaching Hospital...yes, the elevator has stopped running...no, no injuries." She spoke to the woman on the other end of the line.

"Only to my mental health if you don't fix this god dammed elevator and get me the fuck out of here!" He yelled.

"Dr. House, shut up!" Cuddy snapped back, before turning her body away from him. "Yes, I realize it's almost two in the morning...uh huh. Uh huh." She sighed. "Do what you can, but try to hurry it. Thank you." She hung up, staring at the phone for a minute, before turning around and sinking to the floor, crossing her legs and leaning up agains the wall. "You might as well sit."

"I'm going to kill myself in a minute here."

"Refrain from spilling blood please, I don't need to ruin this skirt." She grumbled out as he awkwardly sank down to the floor, dropping his bag next to him. "They say they'll have a serviceman come out and look at it soon.

"How soon is soon?" He leaned back against the wall, and stretched his leg out, rubbing lightly at his bad thigh.

"Four hours."

"Four hours! What the fuck?!" He yelled.

"Shut up. It's not like I want to be here with you anyways." She rolled her eyes. "I just hope Charles doesn't need to pee."

"What...who the...Charles?" He arched an eyebrow, looking at her like she was nuts. "Your alter ego?"

"No, my dog." She rolled her eyes and opened her bag, smiling slightly. "There you are...come here sweetheart...it's okay." She lifted a tiny black and white chihuahua out of her bag and set him on the floor, gently itching behind his ears. "I brought him to work today."

"Oh Jesus Christ." He shut his eyes and tried not to cry. "I'm stuck in an elevator for at least four hours, with my boss and her chihuahua, and I don't even have my tv...god I've died and gone to hell. James was right, I'm gonna burn."

The little dog trotted over to House and sniffed at his hand, then at his leg, then his foot, before going and sniffing intently at his cane.

"He likes you." She smiled slightly, raising an eyebrow when he rolled his eyes. "Well, if someone does, might as well be a dog that weighs five pounds and can't understand how much of an asshole you are."

"Just put me out of my misery now." He eyed Charles, who was eyeing his cane. "You even try it..."

"You will not touch him, or I'll fire you." She smirked as Charles started gnawing on the rubber tip of his cane. "I swear it."

House just groaned, then sighed and reached into his bag, pulling out the file from earlier. He pulled out the Playboy and opened it, dropping the Sports Illustrated back into his bag with his other hand.

"You...you are not."

"I'm stuck in an elevator, I'm going to read this if I damn well want to." He glared at her. "Try and stop me."

"Fine." She sighed, giving him a break, before reaching into the side pocket of her bag and pulling out a book. She opened it to where she'd left off and settled back. This was going to get interesting.

----------
Two hours later

House had read the entire Playboy, cover to cover, twice, and flipped through the Sports Illustrated, pausing occasionally to ask her if she owned a little number like this or that. He groaned and dropped the magazine into his bag and looked at Charles, who had given up on mauling his cane and fallen asleep, curled in a ball, on Cuddy's labcoat, which she'd taken off and made him a bed in.

"Yes?" She looked up as she closed her book and followed his gaze.

"Your dog's a lazy ass." He sighed and reached into his bag, pulling out his Gameboy and flicking it on.

"Do you go anywhere without that?" She quirked an eyebrow and looked at him as he settled back, waiting for it to load his current game.

"Nope." He grinned smugly and then looked at her. "Ever play Metroid?"

"Never played Gameboy, period. I don't waste my time with stupid stuff like that."

"It is not stupid." He scoffed, hitting pause to set it down and go for his Vicodin.

"Well you have to be high for it to be amusing..."

"I'm not getting high, I'm getting rid of pain." He stared at her as he opened the bottle and shook one into his hand, before downing it. "Besides, I'm much more sociable when I'm not in pain." He set the bottle down on the floor. "Can I give one to Charles?"

"Drug my dog and I'll kill you."

"Fine, fine, spoil my fun." He turned his attention back to his the tiny screen as he started playing.

She just shook her head, before smiling and gently petting the chihuahua for a minute when he woke up with a yawn and stretched his tiny legs out.

----------
One hour later

He looked up from Metroid when he felt the dog gnawing at his shoelaces. It took every effort he had not to kick him across the elevator, and then he turned to say something to Cuddy about it when he noticed she'd fallen asleep. He debated screaming 'Fire!' or 'We're gonna die!" and waking her up for a moment, before realizing she was nicer when she was asleep. She couldn't bitch. "Looks like it's just you and me Charles..." He whispered softly, turning his attention back to his Gameboy.

A few minutes later, he paused again when the tiny dog was pawing at his arm. "What?" He was met with a forlorn stare. "What do you want?" Still a stare. "You want...food?" He thought for a second, before reaching into his bag and pulling out a Nutrigrain bar. He'd swiped a handful from the breakroom earlier in the day. "You eat strawberry?"

"Well that got his attention." House inwardly laughed when Charles leaped onto his lap and sat, wagging his tail excitedly as the stare grew in intensity. He unwrapped the bar quietly and shifted, laying on his back, propping his head up on his bag like a pillow. He broke a chunk off and laid it on his chest, and it was soon gobbled up. Another chunk, gone as quick as the first. "What, mom doesn't feed you or something?" He put another piece on his chest, smiling slightly as the dog swallowed it in nearly two bites. "We have to share." He took a bite, then broke another piece off for Charles.

The two of them worked through three Nutrigrain bars, and House was about to sit up again when Charles sniffed the last of the crumbs off his shirt and gobbled them up. But he was halted when the dog walked around in a few circles on his chest and laid down, burying his nose under his tail and closing his eyes. "Great, now it's asleep on me." He thought, before leaning his head back with a soft sigh. Letting his eyes glance to Cuddy, he shrugged and shut his, planning on napping for a bit. They weren't going anywhere anytime soon, and he didn't see the harm in it. He reached up and scratched the dog's back for a minute, before drifting off and moving his hand to his chest in his sleep.

After awhile, Dr. Cuddy woke up and looked over, and bit back a laugh at what she saw. Charles was asleep on Greg's chest, resting his chin on House's hand. And House was asleep too, dead to the world, a slight smile on his face. She looked around at the scattered Nutrigrain bar wrappers and smiled, muffling a soft yawn with her hand as she looked at the two of them. She had to admit, House looked a hell of a lot less sarcastic and cranky when he slept. "Hell, he's smiling and it's probably an honest smile, not a sarcastic one." she thought.

Then she pulled out her phone and flipped it open, turning it to camera mode. She made sure to get both Charles and House in the image, then pressed the button and smiled as the picture took. She'd find a way to embarass him with it somehow. She sat and watched them for a while, before picking up her book and starting to read again.

----------
Two hours later

House awoke with a groan when the floor moved underneath him, and he was instantly blinded by the bright lights overhead. "God...someone shoot me..."

"Elevator is fixed."

He turned his head towards her voice, taking a second to let his eyes recover. "I figured as much."

"You're cute when you sleep. And Charles thinks you make a nice pillow." She looked at the dog, who slowly stood up and stretched with a yawn, before flopping back down on his chest.

"What time is it?" He asked softly.

"Nearly five." She nodded, then looked at him as the doors opened on the bottom floor, and a few maintenence personnel were standing outside the doors.

"Hey, come join the party." He groaned, before picking up Charles and setting him on his lap as he sat up. "Don't plan on getting in here for another ten minutes, I won't be able to move until then." He stretched his legs out with a sigh. "God I hate this."

The men outside walked away, and Cuddy laughed as Charles curled up on his lap. "He really, really likes you."

"Come on bud, I've gotta get up." He picked him up and set him down on the floor, and smiled as he walked over to her and licked at her hand. "He likes the strawberry ones. Blueberry, not so much."

"I'll keep that in mind." She smiled at him, then looked at his leg. "You gonna be okay?"

"Falling asleep on the the floor of an elevator isn't what the doctor recommended, but I'll live." He hauled himself up to his feet and groaned. "Can I have today off? Please? I won't be able to walk." He leaned heavy against the wall.

"Yeah." She said quietly, picking up her labcoat and putting it over her arm, before clipping a leash on Charles and standing up. "You sure you're alright?" She leaned down and picked up his cane for him, leaning it up against the wall by his hip.

"Yeah." He leaned down and grabbed his bag, pulling it onto his shoulder and grabbing his cane. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Sounds good Dr. House." She let him limp out first, then followed him to the doors. "Thank you...for not making that completely miserable."

"It was my pleasure." He smiled slightly, looking down at Charles. "I had one person who doesn't hate me to keep me company." He pushed the door open and held it for her as they walked to the parking garage.

"I don't hate you, I hate how you act."

"Right..." He winked, before laughing. "Oh, and one more thing."

"What?"

"You're pretty hot when you sleep too." He grinned, before turning and walking to his car.

"House!" She yelped, turning a bright shade of red.

He merely stopped for a moment, smirked, and then continued walking.