So I checked in a guest. Normal check in, nothing crazy. I put his keycard in the envelope and said "This is your room number, elevators up ahead, blah blah blah". He opens the keycard packet, takes out the key, and gives it a thorough examination. He looks at me and says, "This gets me into my room?". I had to hold back from saying, "Yes, sir. Welcome to the 21st century. We no longer use regular keys and haven't done so in about 20 years. We also have same day drycleaning service so if you would like me to hold your washboard in the bellman's closet, I'd be more than happy to do so. If you need to make an outside call please dial "9" before you BUY A FUCKING CELL PHONE. If there's anything else we can do for you please feel free to ask".