Title: Tacotoes Canspray Is Hungry!
Characters/Pairings: Takezo Kensei
Rating: PG for not-too-graphic autocannibalism. Is that even a word?
Warnings: See above. It's pretty mild, if perhaps a tiny bit gross. (Only a tiny bit!)
Spoiler alert: Spoilers for the most recent episode.
Summary: See title. :)
Word Count: 309. Very short and quick.


"I'M STARVING," said Takezo Kensei. "WHAT DO I DO? THERE'S NO FOOD!"

He looked around his tiny coffin in the vain hope that there would be a bug or something to eat. Obviously, there wasn't, because that wouldn't make for good fic. Also, there'd be no light in that coffin, so there's no way he'd be able to see any bugs anyway.

Torpedo Ginseng was troubled. And hungry. "I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT MYSELF."

Now there was an idea! He lifted his hand in front of his face, even though (as we've already covered) he couldn't see it. He wondered how he would taste.

Tacotoes Canspray extended his tongue and licked his hand. It was kind of salty. Well, at least I won't have to season myself, he thought, finally realizing that it was rather stupid to talk to himself inside a coffin.

He took a bite. Blood spattered everywhere. He thought about how bloody he'd be after a few years if he kept this up. Then he thought about how much it hurt to take a bite out of your own finger. He watched the flesh grow back, or at least imagined how it looked as the flesh grew back, anyway.

But he was hungry, so he valiantly kept at it. Unfortunately for him, though, regenerating himself used much more energy than he could consume from himself. After a while, he was constantly hungry and constantly eating his hands and may or may not have been constantly throwing up blood - but we don't really know if his abilities let him drink more than a pint of blood without vomiting, so we'll never know whether or not he was doing that bit.

Anyway, being unable to keep up with his body's needs, he finally died of starvation despite constantly eating his fingers. What a way to go!

The end.