Dangling hearts, threaded by an everlasting string,

Sway with the beat of her breath.

Supple movements allude to the persuasion of grace and death,

As her coarse desire dismisses his rhythm’s illusionary cling.

 

My string of time is worn, her breaths evanesce, and yet my heart continues dangling.

Scissors of respite rupture the intertwined threads of life with affection of Macbeth.

Piercing are the eyes of sentiment notion, caressing me to civil death.

Oh pleasant lady, tender with caliber, I wish to banish your locks of nature abrading.

 

Cold overcomes the lack of breath released, and my heart becomes stone.

Weights of nothing tear the remaining remnants of the unrequited chain,

With throttling songs preaching the erroneous.

 

Streams run empty as the song of the earth ceases with daggers of passions groan,

Dangling hearts, threaded by an everlasting pain,

Sway with the beat of its own acrimonious.







feedback, please.

Take a Bite by Me (enigmacyofme)

So keep telling me those bittersweet words,
I love you.
Damn. It hurts.

Stings like a needle.
Sharp as a razor.
Cut me.

Everytime you tell me,
I'm a mess.
Everytime you stab me,
I crawl towards you a bit more.
Your prescence ever so appealing,
Ever so threatening.

Smother me in the blanket of your admiration,
Suffocate me.
I want to die in your arms,
By your alluring dagger.

Seduce me to my exit,
This is the end i guess.
Where the curtain closes, right?
...Right?
You pull the string.
If anyone...
You do it.

Guide me to my eternal rest,
Euthanasia,
Assist me in this perceptible death.

Hold my hand.
Damn. It hurts.

I'm addicted.
Too late to turn back.
I love you.
Can't let go.

............Die with me.............

You...
Love...Love?
Me.

The emotion so strong,
Don't even need to jump off a building,
I'm already falling.
Your amour, is too heavy on me.
Is too profound.

Reach.
I reach out to you.
*Zap*
This dimention vexates me.

I want you.
You want me?

This world is too large....
Money is needed...
Circumstances can not allow...
We make our excuses,
Afraid to lose our pride.

Screw It.
Im running to you.
I'll be there.
With you.
Just me...
Plus you...

And when I show up at your door...
Will you recieve me with open arms?
And when I bleed from every source imaginable...
Will you clean the stains from my clothes?

If i die will you bury me?
Will you fly with me?
Home.
Anywhere with you.

Let me take a bite before I leave,
I'm a cannibal to you.

Move your lips to my neck.
Inject your venom.
Poison me with your passion.

Feeling you feeling me.
Just breathe.
*Pound*
...Your heart,
Such a soft beat,
Takes me in.

Your skin.
Your eyes.
Your touch.
.................Take a Bite................
................Before it's Lost.............

-------------------------
PLZ give me comments. i need to know how this is

Meaningless by Me (POCA)

Push you against a wall,
Feed your pain from within,
I want to feel this love.
I want to support you,
Share your sorrows.
Tell me how you feel,
Give me a 'bona fide' answer.
Something that means something.

Don't tell me you are fine,
When all i see is your suffering.
Don't tell me not much is going on,
When the world collapses around us.

I'm looking for the last source of truth,
Before all rivers dry up,
And the icy peaks shrivel.
Shrivel.

.....Feed me.....

The dust is piling on my lips,
Kiss me.
Tell me, how does it feel?
When your heart has no aura.
When your heart goes cold.
When your heart is not there anymore.

Just a meaningless kiss to you,
Defines everything to me.
You can not understand,
And I dont expect you to.
My romance is more confused than I am.

And when your scintillating eyes shine over my shadows,
There will be an awakening.
Yes, there will.
I am sure.

...And there aren't many things I am sure about,
But I am...
Sure,
You look delightful tonight.
Sure,
That you do not share such an affection towards me.
Just another toy to play with....Just another one.

Sit on a shelf,
I do.
Another amulet.
I'll get dull one day.
Won't be picked up anymore.
But you will still,
You will still...
Infatuate me.
------------------------
plz comment.

Just Dust by enigmacyofme (me)

Keep your eclectic apologies with you,
Cause one plus one equals two,
And two charlatans don't even sum up to you.

A sea of black pours over us,
As your promises turn to dust.
A mystery in the mist,
Protrudes from amidst darkened ships.

Where the captain, lets out a shrivelling yell,
And the men fall overboard, into a new realm.
Fall faster then Synster Gates on a guitar.
This is your ultimate solo, play, or land far.

The curtains have long closed,
Your act fades like fog.
No one remembers your name,
Lucky to be alive in Prague.

Don't forget to live,
Don't forget your line.
This is your mark,
Ready, set, go.
You will make it this time.
You will make it this time...
Or fall behind you must,
Forever engraved in my memory
But to others just dust.
Just dust.
---------
plz comment

This poem sprung from a "which X-Men character would you be and why" conversation that's been around for a while here in Denver.  I submit it for the approval of the masses.

( They Call Me Forge )

My Mind is a Litterbox by Me (enigmacyofme)

My mind is a litterbox,
Spits out images I can not block.
A tapestry of unwanted feelings,
A slight touch and I'm sent reeling.

And I tell myself these lies,
Brainwash my own mind.
But I won't believe it this time.
The only victim to this crime is,
Me.

The theft of my soul was not by the devil,
Oh God, no.
Regret, and writings in past tense,
Shadows of the foregone are still imense.

And I tell myself I am pretty,
A gorgeous statue in the park,
Displayed for all to see,
Admire me.

Can not even be honest to myself,
My anima placed on a shelf.
And it rusts.
And it rests.
Till' one day it is undressed,
The layers of dust blown mid west.

Awaken me.
But don't hurt me.
Not sure if I want to realize myself...
Let me live this dream a little longer.
Just two more winks of sleep and I'll get help.
Just two.
Just two.

Yellow and orange streaks
Bouncing off the car window
I fortify my head with the glass
the hot tub was
definitely too hot.

My veins
pulse with blood
moving too quickly
flooding my limbs,
swelling them
rushing into my temples,
Making them throb.

The glass is cool, and I can hear
the wind outside.
Pushing to get inside
it almost sounds like the door
is partly open.
The small window behind my head
wobbles with the force of air
I worry the door will fall open
I will go sprawling into the
Asphalt under me.

Every turn, makes the door
shake a little more
every time, my weight is
pushed against the padded arm rest.
The wind gets a little stronger.
Deep breath in and let it out again.
slowly.

The lights wear halos,
like tall angels watching over,
all the cars speeding
down the Street.

My eyes are still burning
and my head
is still swimming
in the too hot
Hot tub
but the angel street lamps
are watching
and so I stop worrying.
The door won’t fly open tonight.

Comments please? 

  

I don't know.  I think it's too disjoint.  Is there anything worth saving?  Some of the references seem obscure to me, I want to explain them further, but then I've been told I shouldn't spell things out in detail because that talks down to the reader, it's dull and boring.   A few perfect words should be enough, of course, but I know I'm not perfect.

  

This is my first poem I've posted here for crit. I am very frustrated with this poem at the moment. I keep hearing the same things about it, and if I change those things it changes what I am trying to say to the reader. So I need to know if I should just give up on the idea.

Mary Shrine

Clear plastic covering,
draped against rain.
Tiny twinkle lights,
primary hued wound
around chicken wire.
Creating the small box enclosure.

Flowers, actual and paper made
neon in hot pink and green,
Litter, camouflage red clay dirt.

She stands center,
painted pastel peach skin,
fading carnation pink cheeks.
Robins egg blue robe covers
What was never meant to be
molded.
Eyes cast down at scalped prayer
folded hands.

This is for a class, but I can't write shitty poetry for class, even if all the teacher is expecting is for us to churn out a pastiche of a Shakespearean sonnet.

It ain't great and I hoped it would be better, but it is what it is. Thoughts?

Seeing the Walls

A secretary bottles paradise
and keeps it in a fishtank by her desk.
She meets their lidless, iridescent eyes
and wonders if they find her own grotesque:
so red and heavy-lidded, bleary, dull,
and sending forth no light, as if to bar
all dreams of sunlit waters, calm and cool,
where fishers dive for pearls, sail by a star,
and swim to beaches of the whitest sand,
reflecting and suffusing all with light,
The fish are unaware that they’re on land,
content with four clear walls that bound their sight;
but she is slowly drowning in the air:
she struggled, but now settles down to bear.

Yours Truly, Briefly, Jonathan Swift

I’m as young as my tongue
and a little bit older than my teeth.
We are all aging still,
but, still, I am newer everyday.

From my nail beds to my skin,
death is layered over life,
pushed up to the surface and
sloughed off by millions everyday.

Well, I can’t remember
whether dust is just
the build-up of cells
or primordial cosmic residue.

The whole wide world is a graveyard.

"e" is the most used letter of the English alphabet. (Check it: there were 8 "e"s in the previous sentence!)

Write a poem of at least 40 words without using the letter "e". Bonus if you don't repeat a word "]

Architects in Holland

Looking out over the polders,
they prepare for floods
with blueprints of houses made to float:

stark outlines of walls and windows
atop buoyed foundations

drafted in white and rolled up into cardboard tubes
and rolled back out onto glass tables.

There are plans for gardens and harbors;
there are plans for those who yearn for rivers,

discussed, erased, redrawn once more,
always with the image of levees,
bursting into rubble, in mind.



I'm fairly satisfied with this poem, but I wonder if it is too short or too vague. Thanks.

(1) No one else has shown anything with the image, (2) I've posted three critiques, (3) this place is so quiet even my nonsense might be welcome... well, maybe.   The poem's overblown, but the excuse is that it's built off an overblown heraldic term. Half going out, half going in.  Lay on. 

Engouled

Gag me with a --
   Babe in extremis, swallowed
Here, you don't want the
   Possibilities enfleshed and regurgitated
Slimy little bastard
   From the serpentine/uterine contractions
Shove it down
   Pushing past esophageal obstacles
Till it screams.
   Till it screams.
 

One of the stranger words, & definitions, that I've ever seen
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/engouled

I've been mulling this poem over for a few weeks now, it's definitely not anywhere close to where I'd hope it could be. Specifically, I'd appreciate your impressions/input on what you see going on here? Am I borrowing a little to much from Judaism, does it alienate? I'm abandoning punctuation and form for now, which is a break from what I've been working with for the past two years, so please let me know if you think my freestylin' hinders or helps.

( Yitzchak )