Title: Chivalradar
Author: TigerKat24
Rating: R for implications.
Summary: Plot? What plot? Silly fluffy smut. Nothing explicit. In honor of White Night coming out today!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Mr. Butcher.
Spoilers: None. BUT ZOMG WHITE NIGHT READ IT NOW.
Author's Note: *cough* priscellie dared me into it. Then she beta’d it, as did gypsyjr. Love to both of them!


The trouble all started when she kissed me.
I can feel Murph glaring at me from here. Allow me to clarify slightly. The trouble all started when I tried to kiss her.

--

“And just what do you think you’re doing?”
“Uh, kissing you?”
“Think again, Dresden. This is my show.”
“Sure, fine, whatever you say.”

--

Now, I love Karrin Murphy very much. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently. She’s smart, sexy, badass, and quotes Monty Python. Not to mention she can bounce me off the walls. But hey, for some of us abuse is a turn-on. I mean, seriously, hitting can be very, very sexy if it’s done right. Not to mention biting...
...anyway, moving on.

--

”Dresden.”
“What?!”
“You did it again.”
“All I did was kiss you!”
“I told you, this is my show. Lie back and relax, dammit!”
“But Murph, I don’t...ooh...”

--

She can be remarkably stubborn about a few things, though.
Okay, a lot of things.
Okay, everything.
What I didn’t know until last night, though, involved her reactions to chivalry.

--

“Murph, really, I don’t feel right just—Christ!—letting you do all the work like that.”
“Harry?”
“Yes?”
“Shut up.”
“Yes, ma’am.”

--

Don’t look at me like that. I’m not quite that terminally dense. I can tell Murph reacts poorly to at least my brand of chivalry. What I meant was, I didn’t pick up on how said reactions would translate in bed.
Oh, stop looking at me like that!

--

“Stop that or I’ll cuff you.”
“...promises, promises...”
“Breathe, Dresden.”

--

Look, all I meant is that apparantly paying some attention to how a woman feels and what she enjoys in bed pings Murph’s chivalry-radar and gets me in trouble, okay?
You and your sick mind.
...the hell do you mean, “what kind of trouble?”

--

“Mmmm...”
“What’s that? Are you trying to talk? How cute.”
“MmmmMMMMmmmurph...”
“Ha! I win.”
“You’re evil. Pure evil. Is it my turn yet?”
“Down, boy.”

--

Sheesh. I start out to complain and get sexual innuendo thrown at me. I just can’t win.
Anyway, as I was saying, Murph can get a touch aggressive when she thinks she’s being patronized. Not that I think focusing on your partner is patronizing. I think both parties get a better experience out of it.
Murphy may or may not agree with me. She was too busy reducing me to total limb-flailing incoherency to explain her position on the matter.

--

“Harry! Let go of me!”
“What if I don’t feel like it? Ow! No biting!”
“If you’d been flipped over and pinned with no warning you’d bite too!”
“Well, darling, when you torture a man like that, he likes to get a little revenge.”
“You want torture? I’ll give you—I—oh, God.“

--

‘Course, when she gets aggressive with me I take it as permission to get a little aggressive myself. And Murph, lovely and badass though she is, is much smaller and lighter than me. Usually chivalry prevents me from using said advantages against her.
I say usually, because when she’s directly indicated that said chivalry was pissing her off, well.

--

“That was a delightful noise you just made.”
“Fuck you, Dresden.”
“I thought that’s what I was doing? ...there’s that noise again!”
“You are much too good at what you’re doing.”
“That’s ‘cause I’m the goddamn Batman.”
“Mention Batman again and I’ll hurt you.”
“Well, maybe I should just...”
“Oh, Christ, if you stop what you’re doing I swear to every god that ever existed I will rip your liver out and eat it for breakfast! Raw!”
“Heh. I love you too, dear.”

--

Yes, she really said that. I guess I am good at what I’m doing.
After that it was mostly moaning. A little whimpering, too. Some yelps. Murph can hit an astonishingly high note if you surprise her.
‘Course, so can I, apparently.
No, I don’t plan to explain that. You’ve done enough vicarious living. Go get your own girl.