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A[nother] Good Omens Drabble Community
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| A Sacrifice Too Far |
[October 31, 2007 @ 4:45pm] |
Title: A Sacrifice Too Far
Author: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) dreya_uberwald
Words: 100
Rating: G
Challenge: Deprivation
Points: Crowley & Aziraphale
As the torment dragged on the angel’s mental state continued to deteriorate.
“It’s dreadful, dear boy, just dreadful,” he muttered, as the torturously slow minutes ticked by. “I feel almost as though I’m standing on the edge of a terrible abyss.”
The demon, gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. If he could have spared his angelic friend from this cruel, unusual and seemingly never-ending deprivation he would have done.
“I must be strong though. I must endure.”
Crowley shook his head and gave a sigh. “Aziraphale, why on earth did you decide to give up tea for lent?”
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[October 23, 2007 @ 8:49am] |
Title: Healthy Competition
Author: migratory
Rating: PG
Words: 100
Challenge: Deprivation
Points: The Horsepeople
As fast as Pestilence could kill people by bringing them things, he couldn't beat Famine. All that smug bastard had to do was arrange shortages. One drought early in the season and he could sit back and watch them die, while Pestilence had to get up on the middle of the night and lurk by water pumps.
And he was sure Famine had been involved in that 1666 fiasco. Smug, cheating bastard.
DO I DETECT YOUR HAND IN THIS?
War merely smiled.
Death rolled eyes he didn't technically have. YOU DO REALISE HOW MUCH EXTRA WORK YOU'VE MADE FOR ME?
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| The Secrets of God |
[October 16, 2007 @ 5:00pm] |
Title: The Secrets of God
Rating: U
Challenge: deprivation
Words: 100 (excluding title)
Points: Hastur and Ligur
A consciousness, serene, floating in space, enclosed in darkness.
Insight flashes through it, the mysteries of the universe become as simple as children’s playground songs. Temporal mathematics click through infinite variables to reveal a simple equation that a child could master.
Booming shatters the train of thought. Songs splinter and equations sub-divide into fragments.
Ligur scowls. “What?”
“What are you doing?”
“Cogitatin’ the universe.” The consciousness is now firmly rooted inside a very hungry body.
“You’ve been in there hours.”
Anger is when the stuck lid of a sensory deprivation tank comes between a hungry Ligur and his jellied eels.
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[October 16, 2007 @ 12:11am] |
The lift challenge is over - thanks to leatherdykeuk! - with Hastur and Ligur as our winners!
This week's challenge... deprivation.
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| Trial Seperation |
[October 03, 2007 @ 6:24pm] |
Title: Trial Seperation
Rating: U
Challenge: lift
Words: 100 (excluding title)
Points: Hastur and Ligur
“Notice any difference?” Ligur twirled in a his new dress.
Hastur shielded his eyes from the pattern of sunflowers. “Have your man boobs got bigger?”
“No,” Ligur scowled and pulled the dress off over his head. “I bought a new bra. It’s supposed to lift and separate.”
“Bought?” Hastur laughed. “You went into a shop and bought a bra?”
“So what?” Ligur took a plastic card out of his underpants. “I used your store card, by the way.”
“Thanks.” Hastur snarled and tore it back. “I know what your problem is. You don’t need a bra you need a crane.”
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[October 02, 2007 @ 10:57pm] |
So, the amusing punchline challenge has ended with a win for Hastur and Ligur. Thanks to dreya_uberwald and leatherdykeuk for the hilarious drabbles!
This week's challenge: lift.
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| Unfunny |
[September 12, 2007 @ 6:27pm] |
Title: Unfunny
Rating: U
Challenge: punchline
Words: 100 (excluding title)
Points: Hastur and Ligur
“All right, funny man.” Ligur settled himself on the front row of the deserted auditorium. Yellow lines of police tape cordoned off the body, but he had filtered out the hubbub of humanity. It was just him and the ghost. “Tell me a joke and I’ll let you go.”
“Okay.” Jimmy Chuckles launched into an old favourite. “A horse goes into a bar. The barman says ‘Why the long face?’”
The silence was palpable. Ligur frowned “So?”
“So? It’s a joke. It’s a play on the metaphorical and literal ‘long face’”
“You’re going to Heaven.”
“Really?”
“No.” Ligur laughed hysterically.
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| Not Quite Got It |
[September 12, 2007 @ 12:27pm] |
Title: Not Quite Got It
Author: dreya_uberwald
Words: 100
Rating: G
Challenge: Punchline
Points: Hastur & Ligur
As Dagon was sent crashing to the floor, Ligur looked up at the assembled infernal bigwigs and grinned.
Alas, rather than the burst of uproarious mirth he’d been expecting they regarded him with expressions of acute perplexity.
“Ere, why aren’t you laughing?” he demanded, at once feeling more than a tad self-conscious.
“You said ‘A man walks into a bar’ and then backhanded Dagon,” said Belphegor, brow furrowed. “Why would we laugh?”
“It’s a joke, isn’t it?”
The crowd tittered as realisation dawned.
Belphegor gave a simpering smirk. “I fear that your Disgrace has misunderstood the concept of ‘the punchline’.”
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[September 11, 2007 @ 9:48pm] |
So, the deadline challenge has been won by Hastur and Ligur! Much thanks to leatherdukeuk!
Your next challenge, similar yet different: punchline.
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| Minos’ Judgement |
[August 29, 2007 @ 7:16pm] |
Title: Minos’ Judgement
Rating: U
Challenge: deadline
Words: 100 (excluding title)
Points: Hastur and Ligur
Minos’ Judgement
Ligur shook away the grubby hand.
“What do you want?” he said. “It’s an offence to lay a hand on my person.” He leered at Hastur. “Unless invited, o’ course.”
“Please, Ligur. They’re making me line up for judgement.”
“S’only nat’ral.” Ligur glanced at the queue and back. “Do I know you?”
“It’s me, Tony. We spent a fortnight in a caravan at Butlin’s when I was just a candidate for the local council. You said you’d pull some strings…”
Ligur nodded. “I remember. Two small wars, wasn’t it?”
“Political and Fiscal Manoeuvres,” he corrected.
Ligur grinned. “Get in Line.”
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[August 28, 2007 @ 9:18pm] |
Right-o. So the last challenge ends with Hastur and Ligur as everyone's new friends. Congratulations to their, er, unholinesses.
The next challenge: deadline.
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| Rallying Point |
[August 19, 2007 @ 8:28pm] |
Title: Rallying Point
Rating: U
Challenge: New friends
Words: 100 (excluding title)
Points: Hastur and Ligur
Rallying Point
Ligur blinked in the downpour and hitched his underpants up. “Get me that paper,” he said, indicating a discarded Der Kurier, “I want to know what year this is.”
“Here.” Hastur handed him the newspaper. “When are we here?”
“1934.” Ligur smacked the print with the back of his hand. “Perfect.” He looked around the stadium. “We’ll lurk over there.”
Hastur took up a position next to a supporting pillar. “Who are we waiting for?”
“Our new friends.” Ligur smiled against the drizzle that ran down his eye ridges. “I’d forgotten hos pleasant Nuremburg was at this time of year.”
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[August 13, 2007 @ 10:57pm] |
Right. Well... this week's (month's? *pokes moonlitcemetery*) challenge is over, and the winners of the "You said what?" challenge are Hastur and Ligur and the Horsepersons!
Your next challenge: New friends.
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| The Wrong Thing To Say |
[August 09, 2007 @ 1:19am] |
Title: The Wrong Thing To Say
Author: dreya_uberwald
Rating: G
Words: 100
Pairing: Crowley/Pollution
Challenge: "You said what?"
Points: The Horsepersons
The moment that Carmine’s lips began to quirk upwards, Crowley knew that he was about to regret mentioning the reason for the mounds of empty crisp packets that were currently filling his flat.
“You said what?”
“I said that the Humvee was the ugliest vehicle since the Lada Signet,” the demon said, wondering if Pestilence was doing a run on ‘foot-in-mouth’ disease.
“It’s one of his proudest achievements, you know.”
“Well, I do now.”
“You can tell he likes you, though.”
“You can?”
She nodded. “You should have seen Sable’s office after he called his last oil refinery ‘too bulky’.”
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| Ligur’s Challenge |
[July 10, 2007 @ 7:38pm] |
Title: Ligur’s Challenge
Rating: U
Challenge: "You said what?"
Words: 100 (excluding title)
Points: Hastur and Ligur
“You said what?”
Ligur frowned, his eyes sending daggers into Duck Hastur’s putrid, delightful, lickable face.
“That you’d happily do it.” Hastur looked up from his paper at the tray of delicacies and chose a Fundamentalist’s eyeball. “It’s an honour, isn’t it, to entertain at the Nine Hells Ball?”
Ligur shook his head. “Only if you can think of a way to condemn the eight other lords without appearing to do so and laud Lucy without them thinking you’re choosing sides.” He sighed. “I hate speeches.”
“Speech?” Hastur looked up again. “You’re not giving a speech. You’re doing the striptease.”
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[July 10, 2007 @ 1:16am] |
All righty, the forever challenge has been won (rather appropriately) by Crowley and Aziraphale and Hastur and Ligur. Thanks to last week's participants!
This week's challenge, a quote, to be used anywhere in your drabbles: "You said what?"
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| i'm baaaack! |
[July 09, 2007 @ 3:08pm] |
Title: What Eternity Is
Words: 100
Challenge: Forever
Rating: G
Points: Crowley & Aziraphale
“Intercession,” Crowley grumbled. “Who’d’ve thought?”
“Obscure loophole in the Qur’an,” Aziraphale said, not a little smugly. “Bet Gabriel’s kicking himself.”
“I’d like to kick him,” said Crowley.
“Does it really bother you?” Aziraphale asked, hand on Crowley’s knee. “There wasn’t a chance to ask, and I just couldn’t—“
“No, no,” the former demon said, placing his hand over Aziraphale’s. “You did what you had to do. Enough of a bastard.”
“It wouldn’t’ve been possible unless…spark of goodness and all. I won’t apologise.”
“No, the odd thing is—“
You are sixteen, going on seventeen…
“—I’m rather enjoying it.”
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| Shotgun! |
[July 07, 2007 @ 4:31pm] |
Title: Shotgun!
Rating: U
Challenge: Forever
Words: 100 (excluding title)
Points: Hastur and Ligur
“Hop in.” Lord Mephistopheles unlocked his shiny pillar-box red Rolls Royce and swung into the drivers seat.
“Shotgun,” called Hastur.
“Wouldn’t you rather sit in the back?” Ligur ran his fingers up Hastur’s arm. “I understand that it’s comfortable enough for… anything….”
Hastur grinned and rocked on the balls of his feet. “Hur hur,” he said. “All right then.”
“Excellent.” Ligur darted into the front. “I’ll sit here then, shall I?”
Hastur scowled at him through the rear view mirror. “Are you going to play that trick on me forever?” he asked, “’cause it’s already boring when it was camels.”
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| New Challenge: Forever |
[July 03, 2007 @ 9:19pm] |
Hello, all!
Okay! The Disability challenge is finally over with, and we have a tie between Hastur and Ligur and The Witchfinder Army! Thank you very much to leatherdykeuk and dreya_uberwald for your excellent drabbles!
This week's challenge is: Forever.
Enjoy!
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| Legal Inaction |
[June 21, 2007 @ 7:52pm] |
Title: Legal Inaction
Author: dreya_uberwald
Words: 100
Rating: G
Challenge: Disability
Points: The Witchfinder Army
As the horrible – if currently bandaged - appendage was waved in front of her face, Lisa Morrow rued the day she’d decided to ditch telemarketing in favour of a job screening prospective clients for the over-worked no-win no-fee solicitors of Ambule, Lance, Chaser & Norbert.
“So tell me lassie, what do yeh plan to do about this?” the appendage’s elderly and unsanitary owner demanded. “Tis a terrible handicap to bear.”
She sighed. “I already told you, Mr. Shadwell. You don’t stand a very good chance of successfully suing Sainsbury's just because you broke your ‘demon banishing finger’ on a trolley.”
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