| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I feel very worn out and discontent after yesterday. My plan had been to visit my friend and then do some much needed shopping. I took the large trolley with me on the bus, and dragged it around all day on and off buses. It poured down with rain all day yesterday, with only minor breaks. I went to Rankin Park to visit her and tell her myself that I couldn't be a live-in carer. When I got there she said that no one had told her anything, and that they were mostly ignoring her because she was trans. She felt totally powerless - her mobile phone was blocked, her mother had her debit cards, the spare keys to the flat were inside it, and that they were pushing her into a nursing home so that they could forget about her. I tried to get her mobile to be unblocked but failed to do so. I discussed with her the different issues. It seems that she can voluntarily discharge herself but doesn't choose to do so. She really just wanted to go back in the flat, however she'd failed the "transfer test" last week. She claimed that this had been rigged because she'd been hindered by a "safety belt" and the bed hadn't been made. In the end I felt like I knew less about what was happening than before. Went to ACON via the bus to get a 2nd opinion from one of the staff there. In the end they gave me a letter to give to her treating doctor at the hospital asking that she be assigned a case worker who would find appropriate accommodation as soon as possible. I then caught the bus to Wallsend to do some shopping. However, just as I arrived there I got a phone call from the social worker at the hospital. Seems that she's already doing exactly what the letter was requesting. Not only that, but that my friend had been told about the outcome the day before, and had already signed the forms to be placed in a nursing home. It felt like she'd lied to me, and that I'd been more than a little used. However, there's a good chance that my friend can be placed at a home in Wallsend (near where her flat is) and even get a private room. She might even be able to hire a PC and get cheap broadband and access to the Internet. But in the process involves her giving a list of at least six nursing homes and there's no guarantee that she'll get the one she wants. Also, she wanted to go home to her flat for a couple of hours. I agreed to be there with her, and we've set up early Wednesday afternoon to do that, which will most likely be after she's had a look at the Wallsend home. She can talk to me about it, and do whatever else she wants in that time. And afterwards, well I have a counselling appointment two blocks away, and something tells me I'm going to need it. | 
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gimpgirl
curious
anxious
sad
awake
uncomfortable
sore
cheerful