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GLBT Aspies and other non-socialites
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| For young gay men with Asperger's syndrome |
[Mar. 18th, 2008|05:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bob Dylan- Blonde on Blonde | ] |
Hi, I'm interested in starting some sort of resource guide for other young gay men (or simply young people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning, etc.) with Asperger's syndrome. Any ideas of what form this should take? A new LiveJournal community? A collection of pieces written by young GLBTQ Aspies to publish somewhere? And if you would like to participate, are there specific topics you'd like to discuss? |
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| Introduction |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|05:04 pm] |
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| |  bored | ] |
My name is Jack and I'm a 23 year old queer FTM living in the UK. I am a foundation science student at UWE Bristol and will be going on to a degree in psychology with the aim to becoming an educational psychologist. I was diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia September 07, but I'm thinking that the dyslexia part may be incorrect or at least on the very mild side anyway. I recently saw someone from the community mental health team who gave me a provisional diagnosis of dyspraxia, AS and SID, and they have now referred me on to the Learning Disability centre for a more thorough assessment. That's enough about me for now though, if you would like to know more about me just take a look at my journal or look at my interests on my profile. |
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| hi, there |
[Nov. 12th, 2007|12:29 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Enrique Iglesias- Tired Of Being Sorry | ] |
Hello,
I'm a newbie and thought I should introduce myself (the polite thing to do, after all. Knowing the rules of manners makes these things so much easier!). I'm a 29 year old partnered male in Portland, Oregon, that only discovered what Asperger's is a while ago. I haven't yet had the courage to involve actual professionals (I hate going to any sort of doctor; my experiences with shrinks have not been great), but am quite certain after doing an obscene amount of research, and reflecting upon my personal history, that I belong here. Anyway, needless to say, I'm not really that social in person. My husband is all the homo sapien I really need in my life (and he has issues of his own, general anxiety disorder stemming from PTSD). I really much prefer my large menagerie of animals to most people. But after having the blinding flash of understanding when I learned about aspies, I felt a need to reach out to a community that might understand. So here I am.
My profile list my "special interests" and/or obsessions pretty well, so say hi if you like. :) |
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| REALLY WIERD NEWBIE |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|11:36 pm] |
HI Everyone .
I am trying to make new online friends who have some perception of Autistic glitches and being a girl '' child '' , 6 going on 60 , but supposedly an XY ''man ''.
The child thing is real to me - like '' i '' am too high / wide / heavy / stretchy out , and my old teddy looks right , but cuddles too small ... i also seem stuck in the 50s - like the file is full and I can't delete and add new '' more appropriate '' I watch big girls growing up , or grown up - waiting for my turn , as you can imagine , puberty at a boys only school was an unrelenting nightmare which I could not wake up from ... but that nightmare continues ...
I don't really have any sense of '' me '' - I watch '' my hand '' with dee'tachment , like I am never connected , participating .
I '' appear '' to function Ok , and , until recently , I thought that everyone was as lost as me , but managed better !
It's all automatic stuff though , like tutored / tortured into me , 'till it becomes a habit to copy '' normal
As a kid , 'till 10 [ 1957 ] , all I knew was '' my kind of people / like me '' later , I learned this to be '' female '' , but I kinda lokked for other girls being boys [ seemed logical , as I was designated '' boy '' ] so my mentors and playmates were tomboys / butches and would - be - '' guys ''
I can sense HER '' Frequency '' - so I can predict safe or not , but anything '' not her '' is noise / chaos / scary - from inside and amplified by - all '' men '' from outside . It's like men assume that or expect me to have an experience like them , when , all I sense from inside is '' me missing '' ... either '' I '' am seriously crazzeee , or my head is really programmed for '' female ''. THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA IF YOU ARE PHYSICALLY MALE !!!
I am terrified of men - the concerned guys try to draw me into his world / experience and "" I '' become more and more invisible , lees and less '' me '' OK , it's all in my head , but what else is real ?
My ASdee logic insists that this makes sense , in that if '' i '' am tuned to HER , then I would not know what '' NOT HER '' would be . Like , '' Bus '' is red school bus , so green bus can't be '' bus '' OOPS !!! This brutal '' is / isn't '' is for everything , so why not for HER ?
It's ever dreamstate / out of phase - all my life , I have tried desperately to focus , make it all real , as I see real people do , but only now do i realise that it's not going to work , ever ...
10 years ago , I had a breakdown and all of this kinda broke through - i guess the pressure of pretending got too much - but now I am aware of it , it's got less and less bearable ...
I hope that this isn't too much
''dee'' |
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| Newbie |
[Oct. 17th, 2007|07:39 am] |
Hello everyone,
I used to have a livejournal but deleted it due to the 6 apart stuff but started one here specifically dealing with my unusual relationship dynamic. It was the only place that had a community supporting friends and family of a transgendered person.
A little over a month ago, some changes that had been taking place over the course of years were suddenly thrust into overdrive and now I find myself in a relationship that no longer fits any standard mold.
Over the last... oh 15 years or so, I have been dating men but way more attracted to women. For reasons I don't feel I need to go into, I was terrified of this part of myself and compromised who I was in order to blend in... the path of least resistance I suppose. In the meantime, I was dating a man who also knew that he was the last man I'd ever date. I even started ID'ing as gay even though he and I were together. Some people have been open-minded about it and others not so much.
He began exhibiting behavior that had me scared that he was really gay but denying it. It was almost like he was living a secret life outside of our relationship but one that was all online. I finally confronted him and he admitted that he felt he was transgendered and was considering transitioning. While I was shocked, I wasn't, if that makes any sense. The parts of him I was attracted to were his typically female traits. It was actually kind of validating for me in my own orientation.
Then I went to an all women's retreat. I picked up an online friend from the airport, whom I had known maybe a year and a half. She is gay and I knew that from the first time we met. She wanted to go somewhere and when her original travel plans fell through she asked if she could come see me. I didn't think much of it but over that weekend... wow.
Pandora's box was opened and there was no going back. She and I instantly bonded and we hated being torn apart when it was time for her to go back home. She cried the whole way home. I was sullen and withdrawn when I went back home. I loved my time with her. It felt right and comfortable. I talked to my bf about it and told him what happened. I told him it made me wish I was poly because even though he's a man, I'm in love with his soul. He agreed to a poly relationship and so did she, even though she'd never done it before. Also they were both already friends because he met her through our online game too.
So over the next 3 weeks she and I kept up an exhaustingly intense relationship that was all online, on the phone and through text messages. It was every moment we were awake that we were communicating. I flew one way to where she was and we both drove back to my state and she's now living with us.
In that time, I have told my wonderful bf that while I'm in love with his soul, I cannot have sex with him anymore. It was like something happened to me that weekend and I could no longer make myself. I was on the edge of it already but that finalized it. It has been difficult but neither of us want to be apart so we are redefining our relationship. He can date others now. We all three want to stay together and so far, for the most part, it has been peaceful and harmonious. I am soooooo happy to be in this relationship. It scares me how much I love her. I can't believe I didn't do this a long time ago, but then I would have only met her had everything played out the way it did, in my life, so I have no regrets.
This journal is only about our relationship. I'm not going to debate its validity or its worth. I know there's a snowball's chance in hell that it will work out long term, but the thought of losing either of them feels like one of my limbs would be torn from me. So if you want to friend me you can. All my posts will be public, since I am choosing not to post pics or real life names.
Thanks for your time. |
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| Amazing community |
[Sep. 28th, 2007|11:36 pm] |
My name is Laura, I'm 18 and a freshman and college, and I actually found this community through looking for resources for aspie college students, since I've been having trouble with my roommates at the moment.
Anyway, I have asperger's and am bisexual, though I'm a 4 on the Kinsey scale so I tend to like women more than men. I was really happy to find this community and reading some of the posts on here have really answered some of the questions I've been struggling with for a while. I first realized that I liked girls as well as guys during my junior year of high school, and only last year have accepted who I am. However, it's been hard because I feel like I don't want people to think I'm too unusual, since I'm neither neurotypical nor straight. I do think though that perhaps the reason I am both is because having AS means that I don't perceive boundaries as well as NT people do, including gender-type boundaries. In fact, I would actually not be surprised if many or even most of those with AS are not entirely straight as well, since it seems that we don't perceive boundaries as much.
However, because I do have AS, I've not come out to anyone but my mother at the moment. To be perfectly honest, none of the people I've met so far at college know that I have Asperger's, and I don't know whether or not I should tell them. Or would it be better to tell them that I'm bi and not worry about the other? I really don't know. At any rate, it's great to know that I'm not the only one, and that this community is here for us to support each other. |
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| Eek, an introduction! |
[Sep. 1st, 2007|01:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | crickets outside the window | ] |
Hullo, all. I've been a member of this comm long enough that I should probably introduce myself, hm? :) this is me spacing out and forgetting to earlier. Oops!
anyway, I'm Chanter, 22 closing in on 23, a university student in the american Midwest, bisexual and out if quietly, and very much an oddity in my own right. Though I haven't got Asperger's, I grew up with someone who did, so I wouldn't call myself unfamiliar. that's not to say I don't have issues of my own; three years ago I was diagnosed with dysthymia i.e. mild depression, and I'd been dealing with it untreated for... I know it's cliche to say "as long as I can remember," but in my case it's true. I suspect I have a few obsessive/compulsive traits, though that's never been diagnosed officially, and if anyone were to call me a *huge* science fiction geek, they'd be nothing if not right.
If that's not enough on the oddity front, I'm also totally blind. That's a huge and separate issue in itself, right there.
I'm suddenly curious if I'm the only blind/visually impaired one here. I know from experience that there's a unique set of challenges to being blind and GLBT, and if anyone feels like chatting/picking my brain/whatever else, whether you're blind or otherwise, go ahead.
Right then, in a nutshell, that's me. Hi! :) |
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| Check out my journal, comment, discuss |
[Jul. 12th, 2007|10:48 am] |
Hi, I'm an eighteen-year-old gay male with Asperger's syndrome, writing about it on my new LJ, intense11.livejournal.com. Check it out and comment, and hopefully you can share comparable experiences you've had or any advice. Thanks so much! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 2nd, 2007|09:31 pm] |
Hey. :] I’ve just created a new community, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) ever_perceived. The purpose of it is just a place for people who think they’re ‘weird’ or ‘different’ to get together with others who might feel the same. In particular, people with illnesses or mental disorders, but anyone is welcome. You don’t have to be a certain age, race, religion, sexual orientation or personality –we’ll love you for your divergence. ;p Check it out, and feel free to introduce yourself there! |
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| Intro Post. |
[Feb. 14th, 2007|11:58 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Coming Clean - Green Day | ] |
Hi everyone
I am a nineteen year old bisexual guy from NY
About a 4 on the kinsey scale aka a little more gay than straight and not totally bisexual.
I have Asperger's and Social Anxiety as well as Bipolar and ADHD
I have felt really confused sexually.
A wide variety of reasons.
I have very few friends and I don't know where my life is heading...it's pretty scary.
I just wanted to say hi and say this is a great idea for a community
Post later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|04:48 pm] |
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I vote that this community be brought to LIFE! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2006|04:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Still in my boxers. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Whatever Charles is playing...some metal, I think. | ] |
So, I have this Far Side Desk Calendar that is basically my life. I write down when I have done things, people's birthdays/anniversaries, and appointments. I also count how many days it's been since I last engaged in some unhealthy bad habit. I truly am lost without this thing.
I lost it for about a month before school started and had no sense of time (I can become very dissociative) and really bad panic/anxiety attacks for almost all of that time. I have this highly irrational belief that without the Planner, life just doesn't and cannot happen. I couldn't eat and was having trouble sleeping. I found it in a friend's car and was relieved, since I started back at school today. But my alarm clock malfunctioned and I woke up an hour late - after spending all night obsessing over how school would go and my upcoming gender therapy appointment on Wednesday. My immediate reaction was to not go to classes at all today. If you miss your first class of the school year, you may as well wait for a day when you can go and be on time to all of them - otherwise, the daily schedule would be off balance. Two classes, instead of three, etc.
So, how crazy does that sound?
- Isaac |
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| A rather interesting question |
[Aug. 13th, 2006|09:37 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Foolish Love - Rufus Wainwright | ] |
Hey.
I have a question about the gay community ...what ever exists and everything.
I have been reading on some boards devoted to asperger's which I have that gays( used to describe all LGBT) are more tolerant of quirks/oddness/ and introversion
I also read that the GLBT are more likely to have some form of mental illness.
What does everyone think???
Crossposted to some other places... |
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| Intro Post |
[Aug. 13th, 2006|03:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lover I Don't Have to Love - Bright Eyes | ] |
Hey everybody...I'm James I'm an eighteen year old bisexual guy from the NYC area
I have Asperger's...fairly mild case in some regards yet in others not...
I also have social anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder.
I am almost totally bisexual by most counts but I still I feel a little bit more gay.
Well this is a great idea for a community even if it's not very active or big...
PS I'm on AIM alot so if you add me give me an IM
xSundayscrying25
I'd really like someone to talk too. |
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| Hi, I just joined... |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|07:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
I have a bit of a problem, and I'm hoping maybe that someone here will be able to help me. I also hope this isn't off-topic, but we'll see what happens, I guess...
I think I might have some sort of anxiety disorder.
I guess it started a year ago. I can remember being at work (I worked in customer service at the time), and I was dealing with a rude person on the phone, and I just started to feel very sick. I went into the bathroom and sat there for twenty minutes until it passed...I basically felt very nauseated, and very scared at the same time. I remember thinking that I just COULDN'T throw up. I'm actually kind of afraid to do it..not because of the actual act, but the feeling you get right before it..that scared, panicky feeling. I hate that more than anything in the world. So anyway, that was the first time it happened...
It happened again a month later, at my 23rd birthday party. I was too afraid to eat, because I thought I might throw up. It became so bad that when we sat down to dinner, I just couldn't do it. I rushed to the bathroom, and my heart was beating really fast, and I felt like I was going to pass out. And then it went away, and I was able to have fun (sort of).
It's happened about five times over the past year...I get really worried that if I leave the house, I'll get sick and it'll be really embarrassing. Or, I'll get sick and maybe there won't be anyone willing to help me, and the fear can be overpowering sometimes. For example...last Monday I started a new job, and I had a panic attack on the way down there on the train. It's just horrible!
The thing is, I KNOW these feelings are illogical, and I know that, probably, nothing bad is going to happen to me, but still it affects my life. I don't go out at all anymore, except to go to work, and that's only because I have to. I don't hang out with friends. I don't date. And that's the weird part...I'm a 23 year old gay male, I know it's a generalization, but people expect me to be happy-go-lucky, partying all the time, and having sex with guys and dating them, and being 23. I WANT to do those things, but I worry that guys aren't going to like me, because I'm slightly overweight, and I don't look like the guys in porn do...and it all just swirls around in my head and makes me even more agoraphobic, and then I just don't leave my room. Plus...I guess I just don't really want anyone touching me. I feel like maybe they might hurt me emotionally if they touch me physically. I know that probably doesn't make a lot of sense (and no, I was never sexually abused as a child). I just know this can't be normal.
I'm definitely NOT suicidal or anything like that...I would never hurt myself in any way. I just can't seem to get myself out of this "mental rut" that I'm stuck in. I want things to get better, but I just don't know how to MAKE them get better. And I know I could go to a psychiatrist and they'd give me Paxil and send me on my way...but I barely like to take aspirin, much less something that's gonna mess with my brain chemistry.
I guess what I want to know is....does anyone ever beat social anxiety disorder or panic disorder without drugs? IS there a way to do that? And more importantly...is there anyone who DOES take Paxil (or some other drug like it) and has had any weird side-effects? How has it helped you?
And (yes there's more)....is there anything really wrong with being anxious about meeting guys when you know you don't look like a porn star? Has anyone else gone through this?
Any comments or help at all would be greatly appreciated. |
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| Delete If Not Allowed |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|01:51 am] |
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Though this is a community for non-socialites I thought some might still be interested in having pen pals. Check out asexual_pals |
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| Opinion poll. (yes there is a grey exception area) |
[Jun. 4th, 2006|12:55 am] |
For the items below, "pleasing [X]" refers to the curious straight.
Poll #741627 Opinions (comment if unsure). Yes, there is a grey area for exceptions.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: AllIn general, does it seem gay men seem to know how to please men better than straight women? In general, does it seem lesbian women seem to know how to please women better than straight men? |
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