College Students in the FTM Community's Journal

tidy_monster @ 1:22pm: Gender therapy
So, I'm probably starting gender therapy this summer, and soon, pretty much at my parents insistence. I came out to them a month or more ago, and they're under the impression that I'm confused about my gender identity and I need help working it out. I'm actually quite certain and secure about who and what I am at this point, so I'm going to therapy with the sole intention of proving to my parents that I'm right and getting to start T before I go back to school. Is this the wrong attitude to have? Should I try to take a step back and go into this with an open mind to finding out I'm not what I think I am right now, or should I trust my instincts and the insights I've been gaining over the past year?

(cross-posted to genderqueer)

queerunity @ 9:39am: Free Speech Where do We Draw the Line?
A few interesting and controversial headlines have popped up in the news and the gay blogosphere that raise some important questions. At what point is gay activism intruding upon free speech and freedom of expression rights? Freedom of speech and expression must be protected even for anti-gay forces, because if we don't have these basic freedoms it becomes a slippery slope and eventually we will not have the right to express our opinions.

I write this in light of some stories recently, such as a student who wore a t-shirt to school saying "Be Happy - Not Gay!" at a diversity event, who got in trouble. The courts have since ruled she is entitled to wear the shirt.

What about Crystal Dixon's case with the University of Toledo V.P. of Human Resources who outside the university wrote an opinion column denouncing homosexuality, claiming it is a choice. She has been fired under grounds that she mentioned she was a worker at the school and is now suing the school.

Finally there was the case at Smith College, where the College Republicans brought in Ryan Sorba who created a book called "The Born Gay Hoax" who spoke about bogus research regarding LGBT people. Students interrupted his anti-gay speech by screaming "We're Here, We're Queer, get used to it" the student protesters overwhelmed the room forcing Mr. Sorba to leave the campus and cancel his speech.

Youtube clip of the Smith protest:


What do you think about GLBT activism and where do we draw the line to ensure free speech rights, or is it okay to intrude upon the free speech of others when they seek to intrude on our civil liberties and spread falsehoods about our community?

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/05/open-forum-free-speech-where-do-we-draw.html

tidy_monster @ 5:54pm: Hey, does anyone know of any cheap wearable stand-to-pee devices? And if this is off-topic, feel free to delete.

queerunity @ 9:27pm: Hope for Trans Community With New DSM - V?
The APA has released a statement to activists who have emailed and called concerning the APA Diagnostic Statistical Manual. Activists have been very concerned over some people appointed to the committee who are very transphobic and who would likely keep the label "Gender Identity Disorder" even though moden research shows transgender people are just as healthy as everyone else in the population and are NOT disordered! The Gender Identity Disorders task force, is chaired by Peggy T. Cohen Kettenis, Ph.D. who is rumored to be TG friendly.

This being said our work is not done, Dr. Kenneth Zucker head of the entire Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders committee is very transphobic and believes in "reparative therapy" for transgender children.

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/05/apa-has-released-statement-to-activists.html

queerunity @ 9:34pm: Washington U. Set to Honor Anti-Gay Activist
Washington University in St. Louis is giving an honorary degree to anti-gay activist Ms. Phylis Schlafly founder of the Eagle Forum a right wing group opposed to LGBT equality and feminism. This woman has fought tirelessly against marriage equality even though her own son is gay, and she has said women should not work and believes they belong in the kitchen.

Take action by clicking to email the university on the post below:
http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/05/ding-dong-witch-is-getting-honorary.html

transguykid @ 11:34pm: Babies! A Response
Hey all,

Thanks for all you responses to my post "Baby Blues". I was given a lot to think about. I especially appreciate the view someone gave me that I can view the next few years as preparing for a child instead of waiting for one. I've decided that I'm at least going to hold off for the next year, though that will be tough.

Although I was planning on dorming at my next school after I graduate from CC, I might not and go into foster care instead. That way I'd be in school at the same time as the kid. That might work for a bit. I'll have to see how I feel. In the meantime(as in, the next 3 years or so), I'll be open to the idea of meeting a potential sperm donor(for home insemination), and if the time seems right I might just go for it.

Thanks so much for giving me so much to think about. While I feel like I could handle a child now, I do realize that with my busy schedule I might not even have the chance to fully enjoy the little creature that I create, and that would be the biggest shame. I want to give my future child all the love and attention that I can.

So thanks!
Ethan

transguykid @ 10:32pm: Baby Blues
Hey All,

I have a bit of a quandary here. I'm 20 and in college, but I desperately want to have a child. I've wanted a child since I was 16, but I was savvy enough to know that having on young would not be so smart. For the past two years, this need has been growing until it's a physical pain. Seeing people with their children, especially young people, always brings this to the forefront. More recently, the story with the pregnant FtM has brought it up for me.

I know that it would be way smarter to finish up college and have a job before I consider a child, but the idea of going the next three to five years without a little child to love and nurture and raise makes me so depressed... I do plan on completing college, and I know that this would make it harder to do so. I'm very realistic and I know that there will be crying and diapers and nights up and doctor's visits, tantrums and picky eating, but I want it all, desperately.

I have a very good support system. My mother and father, sisters, and couple of friends would be there to help me. My mother, one of those parents who genuinely never wants her children to leave, would be happy with having me in her home for as long as I need. She loves children and she's been a daycare provider as well as a foster parent.
My mother just asks that I get my associated degree first.
COSTS:
If I were to have a child, I want to do cloth diapers(yes, there is a tree hugger in your midst!) which my mom did with my oldest sister. There would be very little disposable diapers from me. Other costs I can manage. I have a "real" job; I work at a travel agency with people 7-35 years older than me.

So, as you can see, I've thought this through quite a bit. I'd like to get all your input on this. I don't need to party and drink and go out every Friday to have a good time--I don't do that now. I don't feel like I'd be wasting my youth. I think my youth would be wasted if I didn't do this. Please let me know what you think.

x-posted to a few groups

queerunity @ 2:53pm: "Affectional Orientation" Instead of "Sexual Orientation"?
I found an interesting new term used to describe our relationships. "Affectional Orientation instead of "Sexual Orientation", because Sexual Orientation is limiting our relationships to sexual means when for some there is so much more. Please check out my post and leave comments with your thoughts.

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/05/open-forum-affectional-orientation.html

queerunity @ 12:35pm: Introducing Queers United
The activist blog for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Asexual, Intersexual community with activist alerts to help us achieve equality.
http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com

shae_maile @ 8:07am: trans health listserv
greetings all, many people are battling to get trans health inclusion for colleges across the u.s. i am one of those people and have created a yahoo listserv so folks looking to get in on the action, or people already engaged can network and share strategies etc. So please subscribe if it's useful and pass it on to others interested!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/collegetranshealth/

skittlesforlife @ 12:25am: Dorm Situation
Hey dudes.

I have a bit of a situation I have to make a decision about in the next three weeks. I received my housing contract today for the dorm I've been assigned to for the fall semester. The situation is that I will be sharing a room with a female (all dorm rooms are same sex assignments) roommate. I currently do not know who my roommate will be and I won't know until late July or early August. We will share a bathroom with two other females who's room is attached to our bathroom. (If you'd like to see the floorplan I can provide a link to it.)

I can either:
A.) Sign the contract and live in this room
B.) Apply to live in a different building on a floor with a "Living & Learning" community where the room is much nicer
C.) Not live on campus and commute back and forth (1 hr 15min by train each way, plus an additional 10-20 min El ride to get from Union to Campus)

At this point in my life I feel that I need to be away from home in the fall. I can't take another year of living under my moms roof. She can't seem to grasp the concept that I need to gtfo asap.

I could really use advice from guys who have had housing difficulties. There is another type of room in the same building where each person has their own bedroom in the suite and all four roommates share two bathrooms. I can try talking to the LGBTQ Resources Office to see if they can arrange anything to make the situation better but I don't know how much luck I'll have.

Thanks y'all.

bean45822 @ 10:47pm: Parental unit difficulties
Why are some parents such douche bags? I talked to my mom today about the issue of Trans-gender, since I have been recently coming to terms with it. When I spoke to her this morning and gave her some background information, she said that she supports all her children in whatever they do with their lives. I didn't come out to her yet, I was waiting for this summer when I go home. I just wanted her to know some information so it wasn't a complete shock and confusion when I did tell her. I was happy after this morning's conversation. This evening's conversation is a different story. She assumed that I was talking about myself, even though I had given her no indication to believe that. She also completely contradicted herself and stated that she had "Two daughters and ONE SON." She said that she didn't know what I was being told while I was here in college, but that there was something wrong with me. She said that I was CRAZY. I still denied that it was me, but she still believes differently. She also said that if I didn't stop talking about it that she would cut off communication with me. I don't know what to do. I have already started to come out to friends, so I can't go back. But I also can't go further with it without losing my family. I don't know what to do. I am totally and completely lost. It never fails, something starts going right and then something comes along and turns it all to crap. What am I going to do??

nerdsneedlove2 @ 10:44pm: Introduction
Hi everyone.  I've been a member of this group for awhile, just never introduced myself or posted.

So here goes...my name is Riley.  I'm 28.  I'm FTM and have been on hormones for 4 years this coming June.  I am still pre-op, and I'm a full time college student, a junior at Texas State University in San Marcos, TX majoring in clinical laboratory science, a.k.a. medical technology.  (We're the people who run the tests after you give us your blood, urine, and other body fluids)

I guess a lot of my issues are past the initial kinds of issues some transguys have at the beginning of transition.  I've been there, gotten through that I guess.  My issues now revolve more around long term relationships, dating, defining a sexual identity and things of that nature.

So..I've been having some issues lately and I'd like some feedback.  First of all, do any of you identify as gay transmen?  How did you come to that conclusion?  Did you struggle with trying to come to terms if you were a gay transman or a straight female?  Was there ever any conflicting feelings like that for you at all? 

Do any of you feel guilty in receiving sexual pleasure from your female genetalia?  Like do any of you feel guilty when you masturbate or touch your genitals or have anyone else touch them?  Have you found a way to not make it so hard, and if so how? 

sorry this is a lot of deep thought type stuff all at once, but I could really use someone to discuss these things with. 

carousel @ 10:10am: New old site.
Formerly known as Project XY, it took a couple of weeks to get it running. I just wanted to share my website in hopes it'll help someone somewhere out there:

www.bryanxy.com

Thanks, guys. Anything, feel free to contact me.

-- Bryan

heirofdarkness @ 11:57am: Dorm Life for Trannybois in NC
 What's up fellas - my name is Kaleb Xander and I'm amost 21 years old, attending Western Carolina University in Cullowhee, NC as a rising senior psych major.  I just wanted to share the letter I wrote to Residential Living and how they addressed my concerns of finding a place to live next year.

Oh, I'm pre-T til May - I get my perscription three days before I turn 21, woot, hormones and beer, hehehe.  So by August when I come back I'll be looking a bit different.  Currently I live with a little freshman girl who I adore, but it looks like Barbie threw up on her stuff and I'm just uncomfortable as hell living on an all-female floor.  But she's been really awesome and prides herself on knowing all the tranny-lingo and gets fuming mad when anyone calls me Miss or she - it's hilarious and great and I just love her.  She has been a great roommate to be out with.  But I'm definitely to the point in my life where I am ready to transition and finally break free of living with the girls.

heartrevolt @ 6:17pm: Amazing Opportunity For Photographers And Trans Identified Students!
The LOFT, LGBT Community Center of White Plains, NY is overseeing a project that looks to answer the question of who comprises the “T” in the LGBT Community. Utilizing photographs, written word and video, we are setting out to show the local transgender community in a mainstream light to counter the negative, often lurid and sensationalist portrayals of transgender individuals in print media and motion pictures.

Using as a model the successful Marriage Equality Photo Album from last year, we plan to create a multimedia exhibit to be launched in Fall, 2008 that will present transgender individuals in various forms of mainstream life – with parents, spouses/partners, children, family, pets, and at work. Supplementing the photographic aspect will be an accompanying video and written testimonials from parents, spouses, family members, employers, etc that speak of the transgendered individuals in a positive light.

The plan then is to select a number of highly visible trans/LGBT friendly areas in Westchester and Rockland Counties, such as schools and community centers, libraries and various commercial venues, where the exhibit would reside for public viewing before moving on to its next destination.

At this point we are seeking those individuals who would be comfortable being a part of such a project. Our criteria would only be the willingness to publicly identify as transgender in photographic form. (Any subjects under the age of eighteen would require a release form signed by a legal guardian.) We are also seeking photographers who would be willing to work the project’s guidelines.

We hope that you will be able to contribute to The “T” Project and spread this information so that it may reach the greatest number of people in our community. So often we are hidden away in our own corners, even behind closed doors. The “T” Project seeks to fling that door wide open and show the community we live in who transgender people really are – neighbors, co-workers, students and teachers, friends and family.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments you may have, or if you are interested in beings a subject or a photographer for the project, you may reach me at: shelley.abbott@purchase.edu

Creating Change One Photo At A Time,
Shelley Abbott

tinamou @ 10:34pm: Campus activism help
Can anyone direct me toward useful resources on trans students and university housing? My school is trying to come up with a policy, and I'm going to have some input, but I don't know where to start, particularly since they don't even have proper co-ed housing yet.

tommytesto @ 1:19pm: Trans Students and use of Bathrooms & Locker Rooms
Here is a link to a three-page publication (Feb. 2008) of the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders regarding use of appropriate restroom & locker room facilities by trans students. It may also be useful for those outside of MA who wish to present a model to their colleges.

http://www.glad.org/rights/tg_students_use_of_bathrooms_and_locker_rooms.pdf

xftranny @ 9:46am: Univ. Minessota
Hey

Anyone here go to Univ. of Minnesota as a nursing student? ... or have a connection to a friendly person who does?

I have a few questions

Thanks!

Gabe

X-Posted to FTM

pirate_poet @ 7:05am: PREVIOUS POST IS A VIRUS
DO NOT CLICK THE FAKE YOUTUBE VIDEO

Don't click on the previous post (the fake youtube video). It's a virus/trojan.

(I was alerted to this through "transnews", where the virus was cross-posted.)

tranboy07 @ 7:41pm: Intro and shaving
New to the community. Let me introduce myself, I go by pre-op boy07 on LJ just to be safe. I am a freshman in college and I identify as a transmale.  I haven't come out to anyboy yet except for the people on here and to myself. My parents think that I am gay for the moment being and I am scared to tell them. Anyway..........
I shaved for the first time today. I'm pre-T so I dont really have a reason too, I guess. Anyway I went around campus looking in stores for aftershave lotion and couldnt find any.  I was very disappointed but it did feel good to shave for once.  I nicked myself after about three strokes.  Anybody else shave and pre-T?

cryfierytears @ 5:57pm: Looking for FTM friendship and maybe more!
Hey there! My name is Carly. I'd like to expand my social circle and meet some new people.
I am primarily looking for friendship right now, but if something more comes of out of those friendships, that would be fine, too. :-)

I am a femme, straight acting woman whose sexuality is sort of...undeclared. My FTM boyfriend of 2.5 years and I broke up about four months ago. I loved our relationship (when it was good) and I felt at ease with him. I've never felt very "gay." I hang out with lesbians, but I don't really feel like one. I considered my relationship with my ex a straight relationship, and that worked for me.

I live on the seacoast of New Hampshire and am looking to meet new people in my geographical area that I can hang out with, who live no more than an hour and a half to two hours away. Message me if you're interested in being friends or more, and if any of you moderators have any other recommendations as far as where I should cross-post this, please let me know!

Carly

ianroshan @ 7:10pm: Research on Transgender People and the Health Care System
( Participants Needed )

creaigdunton @ 10:41pm: Request for Participants
My name is Creaig Dunton I am conducting a study at the University at Albany School of Criminal Justice in order to examine transgendered persons’ encounters with police, as well as their perceptions of crime and law enforcement. If you identify as transgender by any definition of the word, I would greatly appreciate your input into the survey. It is completely anonymous, and absolutely no identifiable information is collected. Depending on your responses, it may take between 30 minutes to an hour to complete. Your participation is greatly appreciated, and will help society as a whole gain a greater understanding of what it means to be transgendered.

To complete the survey, please enter the following URL into your web browser:

http://www.creaigdunton.com/survey/

When prompted for a user name and password, please use the user name “tgsurvey” and password “Spring08”. Please do not use the quotation marks, and note that both the user name and password are case sensitive. The survey consists of multiple choice questions and a few free response questions, and requires only a basic knowledge of web browsing to complete.

If you have any questions or concerns about the survey before beginning it, please feel free to contact me via e-mail at cd232982@albany.edu.

Thank you for your time,

Creaig Dunton

(crossposted all willy nilly)