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[07 Oct 2008|07:50am] |
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| so i lied |
[05 Oct 2008|04:17pm] |
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mood |
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 ionwanna work |
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music |
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the opening song from juno (in capite) |
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So in this post, the last set was "two truths and a lie". Inadvertantly, it has become "two lies and a truth". I do miss ensemble. I don't miss MJ or the (other) bitchy people at all, but I miss the time to relax, journal, move, see my friends... I want it back, but without MJ and plus gym credit. *pout* Oh well.
hw time...........grrrrrrrrr...
-fin-
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[05 Oct 2008|07:48am] |
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| Recent Twitters |
[04 Oct 2008|07:50am] |
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| But the Bible didn't mention us, not even once; |
[03 Oct 2008|03:38pm] |
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Samson by Regina Spektor |
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Sometimes I really wished I'd know what was going on with my life. What would happen. And what would I be supposed to do. I hate uncertainty, I hate the blurred view that life gives us; tantalising hints of the future that could very well turn the fuzzy edges of what we thought might happen into something completely different, something that only resembled what we viewed through the lenses of time so long ago.
I want to talk to God, I want to ask what He means to show me, what He means to guide me to. But it's not as if I've never tried it, the only messages communicated just hints and little bits of humour that might seem funny but lose their humour when applied to a life.
I hate the confusion, I just wish I knew just for once, what everything really meant, and what does everything really mean.
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met
Regina Spektor, Samson
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| aye yae yae... (I SOOOO don't wanna do hw right now...) |
[02 Oct 2008|10:23pm] |
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 bored with hw |
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VP debate... |
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So when I was walking home yesterday, these words starting flowing through my head. They have a tune, but that's not really important. The important part is that I don't know about the first line. Right now it reads:
Touch me gentle
Hold me tight
I need to know you're
here tonight
Whisper in my ear
Let me hear
you say I love you
say I love you
I can't decide if I want the first word to be "touch" or "kiss", and whether it should be "gentle" or "gently". Thoughts, anyone? If/when I ever finish this, maybe I'll post it all. But when will I have time for writing?
-fin-
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| On GP. |
[01 Oct 2008|06:38pm] |
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intimidated |
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Stab My Back by The All American Rejects |
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Hello there, you poor kids from Dunman High's Senior High programme. I think you must have gone through real hell during your GP paper.
Attempting your paper gave me an understanding of holy crap, this is hard. And it put my aspirations of an A on the funeral pyre, if I'm going to be competing with people who scored A in this paper.
The passage alone is one hell of an intimidating monster to read, then the questions redefine unfriendly. Make that redefine evil.
I struggled through it and I think I gave it a good fight. But if this comes out for A levels, there will be many many weeping kids when the exam doors are opened to let the poor souls out. Yes, painful.
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[30 Sep 2008|07:49am] |
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| really there's no reason... |
[29 Sep 2008|11:24pm] |
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mood |
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 huh? |
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"Under the Sea" in my head |
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for me to be all-over-the-place like I am. I'm so happy one minute, so spacey the next, and now I feel sort of lonely and sad. Lonely makes sense; everyone's in bed, and I'm sitting by myself at the computer. Sad, not so much...
I'm soooooo crazy in chem. It's a good thing Caitlin, Robin, and KP like me. Sometimes I would drive myself nuts.
Maybe I should just be getting more sleep. My mom's convinced that that's why I'm sick so much (I'm really not...). Or, Mom, maybe that's just cuz I go to school with more people than I used to, and there's also some giant crud going around right now! But I wouldn't discount that my lack of sleep is messing with my moods.
Also you would think that reading happy stories would make you happy. Only they weren't. Hmmm. My family wasn't even super dysfunctional tonight [see note below], and my piano lesson went relatively well, even though I hadn't practiced ("relatively" is the operative word there), AND I didn't have to do any hw tonight...
I'm so confused... *sigh* ok, I think it's bed time. Maybe tomorrow my head will work better.
Happy Rosh Hashanah! :)
-fin-
[NOTE BELOW :)] Yeah, so my brother definitely didn't come home today and didn't call my parents to say he was going to a friend's house... what a mess. But he only fussed/screamed/hit things for 10 minutes instead of 30. And my dad didn't even make fun of him much. Yay.
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| If you are not doing what you love, you are wasting your time |
[29 Sep 2008|07:17pm] |
And I, mon ami, am not wasting my time.
What I love is devouring me alive and using my femur as a toothpick, but I love it.
Well, it's not really what I love, I suppose. It's more like, I'm doing all the schoolwork that I feel compelled to do and adding onto that what I love (fencing).
I don't quite know what to say.
But I felt obliged to write that.
not emotions right now, sorry
back to bio
♥
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| pfwwwwwww *sigh* |
[28 Sep 2008|08:49pm] |
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K playing "under the sea" |
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I'm so bad. I'm avoiding hw. :)
Wow, I haven't posted here in forever. I'm sad nobody has commented on my vlog. :( And re: the post before that, we have cable now. Yuck. Now iCarly, Drake and Josh, and Hannah Montana (kill me now) have moved into my own basement. Whaaaaaaa...
Ummm yikes, what's been going on... AP Chem is amazing. It's a TON of work (a very good reason for me not to be on LJ right now... =P), but it's so much fun. KP and I managed not to totally kill the lab we did on Thursday! (Isn't it sad that we were celebrating that?) We have to do the other half of the lab tomorrow, but it should be fun. I'm so glad I have science with him again. Last year I didn't see a ton of him/didn't have a lot of chance to talk cuz we sat far apart, but we sit together in chem and English now, which is so much fun. :)
My family is nuts as usual... Ev seems to be getting weened off the computer a little bit, which is very good, but my dad is still a little short with him (a lot of the time), and my sister still tries to piss him off on purpose, which is obnoxious. Also, my dad and mom have been arguing a lot. Over really trivial stuff, too, which is annoying, cuz it seems like stuff they really ought to have sorted out... oh, I dunno, 25 years ago when they were dating or something (like that my dad is messy and spontaneous, and my mom is a very methodidcal neat-freak. or that my dad is obsessive about stuff, and my mom is NOT). *shrug* oh well. It's been...relatively quiet around here, but that could have something to do with the fact that I had dinner at Mel's on Friday, and Michael's last night... (both of which were loads of fun and quite delicious! :D)
Ummmm...yeah, I can't really think of anything else to rant about at the moment. Maybe I'll go do real work... *sad* Oh, last thought: I'm honestly curious, do you like/dislike it when friends hug you/say "I love you" when they say good-bye to you?
Anyway, chem time... :( [Ughhh, it's just the same things over and over and over and over... x_x]
-fin-
P.S. couches are SOOO nicer than my bed to sleep on...
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[27 Sep 2008|07:49am] |
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| And became famous on that day in November. |
[27 Sep 2008|01:24pm] |
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pensive |
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The Saddest Song by The Ataris |
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So I have just returned from the airport, where I stupidly fell asleep on the train from Changi station to Tanah Merah and got shuttled in my slumber to and fro at least once. I'm hoping it was once.
I was there to send Cai Na off to UK and somehow, the airport managed to get me consider university prospects. I'm actually half glad for NS, in that it allows me quite a bit to time to think things over, where to study, what and some buffer time to apply to various things. I hate the scholarship requirement from my parents, because it basically means I have to deal with what seems like the cart before the horse procedure of applying uni overseas when I might get in and yet fail to secure a scholarship. And waste a lot of time. But scholarship applications probably need you to have applied and all. And right now, I can't spare the time on that or I'll end up neglecting the real task of getting the grades.
It's quite a tangle. I don't mind taking a bank loan to study overseas, but I don't know which bank would offer such unsecured loans, especially in the recent financial debacle. I haven't applied for scholarships, neither am I considering much, without the requisite grades.
Thank God for NS.
...
I did the Lornie Trail today with a 29 minute flat run. Which is way off my best or even my average of 27 minutes. I guess I'm really out of shape, since I haven't run at all after Swing KPE.
Time is a luxury I can't barely afford to spare, so running will have to take a backseat. It was wonderful to start today though, there's got to be some sort of thrill to starting to run. It's magic, but I'm not about to get it much for the next few months. :(
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[25 Sep 2008|07:49am] |
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