westwang

Hiya,

Does anyone know if there is a community specifically for Male victims of Domestic Abuse?

I was in a very abusive relationship about 15 odd years ago and I'm still suffering now. I'm a manic depressive, I cannot sleep and cannot work because I'm so ill. I've tried for years to get the right sort of help but it just doesn't seem to be there for men. At the time the police weren't interested and when I spoke to ppl they just thought it was all my fault. Even after the relationship ended the abuse didn't. She got her brothers to beat me up, vandalise my car and even burn down the flat. Again the police wouldn't lift a finger. I think it was because one time when she tried to bite off my penis, I snapped and I put her in hospital and they probably thought I deserved everything I got. I pressed charges against her for what she did and they told me to drop them or I'd get a longer prison sentence!!!!

Luckily I'm in a very loving relationship now with a very understanding woman but still the wounds are there and very deep.

If there isn't a specific community I might create one but I thought it would be best to ask around first.

Thanks for listening.

amly

The Gospel According to Acharya S

Abusing Women is Not Religion

There are certain buttheads - subhuman cretins, really - on this planet of vast dementia who believe that subjugating, enslaving and torturing human beings who happen to be in female bodies has something to do with "religion." These morons like to justify their despicable and disgusting behavior by claiming it to be laid down by some idiotic god monster who is somehow pleased by this wanton abuse of "his" creatures. In addition to the pervasive and hideous brainwashing and psychological, spiritual and emotional abuse forced upon women that they are "inferior" and must serve basically as servants and slaves to their husband-masters, a number of cultures somehow finds it "godly" or "righteous" to physically torture women.

"Religions" are Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Torture

In nations under the influence of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic conditioning , many millions of women have been taught that they hold no authority, and they must sublimate themselves to their father, husband or a giant male god in the sky who is looming and lording over them at all times. This subjugation is authorized, naturally, by that obnoxious god person's "holy" scriptures, as in: "... the head of a woman is her husband," etc. ad nauseam. For the basic attitude towards women, let us quote the great apostle Paul, whose neurotic mind has had such an influence upon the Western world: "It is well for a man not to touch a woman." (1 Corinthians 7:1) Of course this is somewhat milder than the Old Testament attitude towards Woman, which is that, first of all, she created the sinful state of mankind and must thereafter be punished - for eternity, no less! - by the "merciful" Lord. If a woman commits this or that so-called transgression according to the biblical "morals," she is to be stoned or suffer some other bloody fate. And let us not forget that orthodox Jews start their joyful day by thanking God for not making them a woman! In his infinite compassion, "God" has made woman a simply horrible creature! And, of course, the worst punishments are those for individuals, male and female, who simply refuse to believe in these concepts; so, mere unbelief is the most egregious transgression of all. Actions have nothing to do with it, but gender certainly does. Hence, according to all these religious traditions, "God" is utterly sexist - and we wonder why sexism refuses to fade into oblivion? It is dictated from the "Creator" on down. In fact, it is to be practiced as "God's will!"

Genital Mutilation is Not Holy

In addition to the psycho-spiritual abuse, around the globe women are used as beasts of burdens, babymaking machines and readily available sex-toys, and this ghastly attitude and treatment are constantly being justified by men and women alike as somehow being both necessary and righteous. Over 120 million women - mostly Muslim - worldwide have been hideously mutilated and disfigured at the hands of deranged fanatics who apparently believe that their Creator screwed up when "he" endowed women with genitals, which must be violently removed in "rituals" that often include the use of rusty knives or pieces of metal, or broken glass. The women, girls and female infants who undergo these unlovely "rituals" are generally not anesthetized but are often held down by other women, who sheepishly and shamelessly go along with the dictates of men. These women also often receive no post-mutilation care, and they sometimes bleed to death, with cascades of blood showering their feet.

Ankles are a Sexual Turn-on?!

In these same and other parts of the world, women are beaten, imprisoned, tortured, burned and sometimes killed for exposing their faces, hair, ankles or wrists, not to mention any other part of their bodies. Women are viewed as delicious temptresses who, unless subdued, would quickly destroy a man's morality. The weakness of the man is never blamed. He just can't help himself if he sees a beautiful, "seductive" woman exposed; he must have her or go mad. Thus, instead of learning to control their animalistic urges, these perverts put the blame on the women, who are then subjected to their full fury. Women are also worked to the bone and must keep reproducing or lose whatever little status they continue to hold. It is also quite logical to suppose that the constant covering up of their skin, thus depriving it of health-bestowing sunlight, would lead to horrible bone problems, osteoporosis, etc. - indeed, this is happening to Muslim women, especially in Afghanistan, where they are also starving, because they are viciously prevented from working.

There is Nothing Religious About Depravity

Too many people are afraid to actively condemn such despicable behavior, claiming to be "tolerant" and "respecting" of someone else's "religion." This attitude shows how deep the bullcrap has penetrated the human psyche. Millennia have elapsed during which these "memes" or units of mental programming have been passed down from generation to generation. So insidious is the notion that abusing women is somehow justifiable! The fact that this atrocious behavior and attitude towards women are justified by religion is one of the greatest hypocrisies of the human race. Indeed, it is a powerful slap in the face of the "Creator" - i.e., the Divine Creative Life Principle - which has endowed in human beings infinite abilities and creative genius well beyond the simple urges of bonding and reproducing. If one were truly religious, one would feel compelled to utilize one's "God-given" talents to the fullest, utterly appreciating them and being grateful for them. But no - instead, they are suppressed and denied to the point of nonexistence. In truth, if one were seriously concerned with living the divine life, in accordance to righteous principles, one would be thoroughly obliged to use any extraordinary skills and talents for the good of humanity and the betterment of all life upon this small planet. This would be the true fulfillment of the will of any good deity, if one existed. Unfortunately, in many places women are neither encouraged nor allowed to develop any such sublime and godly gifts.

This abusive behavior towards women flies in the face of the real "religious" or spiritual experience. It is "anti-God" and unspiritual, and creates such an enormous amount of suffering and horror as cannot be measured. No intelligent, thinking person could possibly go along with it, yet tens and hundreds of millions do, every day, day in and day out. A truly spiritual person will strive to end this abhorrent mistreatment, rather than perpetuate it. The perpetuation of suffering is not a religious experience by any stretch of imagination. It is an abomination.

"God" is Not a Man - Get It?!!

Much of this stupidity comes from the sexist notion that "God" - the Divine - is exclusively male, that there simply is no female aspect in creation. Obviously, to enlightened people, this is wrong - a sickening notion born of men's desire to control and lord over women. Creation is composed of both male and female, in equal proportions, and until that balance is reestablished, there will never be harmony and an end to misery on earth. A truly spiritual individual is neither male nor female, black nor white. She or he is nothing and everything. Let us recognize and welcome the variety in the cosmos! Vive la difference!

http://www.truthbeknown.com/abuse.htm

imstillalady

Decisions that I've made recently.....

I wont let his actions affect my mood anymore.

I will be thankful everyday that I wake up, cuz I should have died several times.

I will continue to work on my body language, and not make it so obvious to others what Im feeling.

I will continue to use a great work ethic and be profesional until I leave.

 I wont let others actions determine my mood.

I wont let anymore men use me, like Im nothing.

I will try to pull myself out of the depression that Im in, without medication.

I will be more honest with my shrink, that way she can help me.

I will commit myself to the relationship that Im developing with Rashad, he truly wants to be with me.

So those are the decisions that I made, I'm going to try to keep to those decisions, maybe they'll help me pull thru my problems.

imstillalady

ive been a member for a while and its taken me a minute to figure out how to post to the community....but now that i can....well here it is

i know that most abuse isnt recognized unless its physical, but he really is busting me down more and more everyday with the way he talks to me. and at first i just thought that i was letting him do it and that it was his fault, now im beginning to realize that i let him do it because im scared of what he might do if i didnt let him. he controls almost everything i do. i want him to change and i think that he loves me. he says he does, and everytime he makes me cry or hurts me things get better for a little while....but i know i love him. i want this to work out.