I've been trying to get back to life .. to write, or go through my photos, or something, anything. Yea, I'm still working on it .. sorry ...

Music continues to define my life though .. that will never change. I discovered a new song, having downloaded some Guillemots stuff .. only just listened to them all today though.

It's not the lyrics, although I did imagine he was singing to his teddy bear! I relate to that because I used to talk to my toys .. ok, yea, I still do =D

The melody, the instruments .. that's what touched me .. this has got to be one of the most beautiful, moving songs I've ever heard ...



( Lyrics )

passed away yesterday. Born 11/23/1990 died 10/11/08.
I'm sad cause I wasn't there, but she didn't die alone. My mom is allergic to her, but she held her and drove her to the vet to try to save her and was there the whole time.



Rest in Peace baby, I miss you so much.

Uh yeah I should probably update, like two months back. I've just had nothing interesting to report, or at least anything vaugley pertinent I've not got around to posting then forgotten.

Thank you everyone for the good wishes, gifts and other such birthday goodness. :)
Yesterday as an outing we went to the imperial war museum; not exactly a feel good place. But interesting and worthwhile. The whole thing just brings home to complexity of the human condition. We do so many fucking stupid selfish pointless destructive things on a grand scale. And yet when you get down to it; it's under the circumstances that humanity can truly shine with acts of bravery, compassion and fortitude.

Then as if I needed acknowledgement of such advancing age there has been a whole heap of drama in a comm on my list. I'm thinking of taking it off my reading list; because having your knee jerk reaction to at least 50% of the posts being 'grow the fuck up' is getting really old.
And if I ever need reminding of it ... if I'm going to leave a comm then it would be quiet and dignified. Not cause for replies of 'don't let the door hit you on the way out'.

In more positive news, I'm totally obsessing over watching Criminal Minds. It's facinating, intelligent, unpredictable [for the most part], great characters, and they have quotes. I am apparently their exact target audience.
I'm not into the fandom though (beyond reading Mijemaar's stuff) or even shipping anybody. Which is a bit weird.

( My random dilemma, which only happens to me (and maybe other writers) )

One of my happy to-do's this weekend was to finally put together a strand for LM, to be used as a focus tool for working with him -- and just as a way of honoring him.

It did not go at all as I planned.

( Crafty details )

It's not at all what I started out with, but I'm happy with it.

( Photo behind the cut. )

Now it's time to go tend my altars. . .

I give up.

Warning: Photo contains pathetic racial slurs on someone's t-shirt, and driving a motorbike without a helmet.

But racism is over! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahaha....

banner by stephmck

Brian/Justin AR
NC 17 eventually
For the banner challenge at neverenough_bj
Includes the prompt "Claddagh" from tamingthemuse
Dead girl gif by skeletalembrace

Memorable Entries for Mask

Mask, Part Eight

Van Helsing is wicked awesome. Cheesy, duh, and a completely random retelling, but it's made of freaking win.

Hey everyone, just made 10 new icons. Enjoy!

( Take me to the icons )

Mikos first glimpse at Kitty T.V


Minow trying to ignore the fact that there is a Miko in the house.


Mim...doing what she does best.

Balder is pooping and peeing outside the litter box despite our efforts to teach him not to, before he only did it in the hallway but today he peed on a basic cooler in the washing room. It won't work and we are devastated. His surviving litter mate isn't using the litter box properly. :(

Please click on them to feed them and help them grow. :-)

/ / /

Hacking my way through a bondage fic. Holy Hannah... who knew it would be so hard?

*goes back to looking for sites on the experience of bondage/whipping from the inside, and having a difficult time finding anything useful*

OK, I've been meaning to post this entry for a while, but it required a bit more thought and prep than my average "here's what I did today" post, so bear with me...

Now this list is making the assumption that not everyone is as huge a movie nut as I am, and that I watch strange little subsets of films. If this is not the case (shoots a look at swashbuckler332) then there's no need to make a fuss about it. I kept the word "probably" in the title for a reason. These are movies that, as far as I know, weren't huge box office hits, that I found through perusing the video store, reading magazines, or just being obsessive about a certain actors work. Or it was there and gone and wasn't well-reviewed. (Did you know that "The Shawshank Redemption" didn't do well at the box office?) And I'll admit that my perception might be skewed because what I interpret as a very popular movie might just be popular among my friends, and so the inverse, my thinking something was a secret treasure waiting to be discovered when in fact it was widely promoted, may be true as well. Plus I've got quite a range of people on my f-list, so I'm thinking some people might look at a film and go "duh!" where others would go "never heard of it".

So, without further ado, here's my list of "35 Very Cool Movies That You Probably Haven't Seen"

( The Plain List )

( Little blurbs about the movies )

1. the smells of the food I've cooked, peanut thai chicken, jasmine rice... ahhh,
I'm supposed to save it for lunches this week, but dunno if it will make it that long!

2. that my unruly lawn is being mowed right now

3. stunningly deep gratitude for the perfection of now, of being so richly blessed
in every good way

4. Sunday morning Joel Osteen broadcasts

5. the promise of more work, there are always more opportunities & choices open to me

join in, if you feel like it

Since I woke up so early today I got a lot of things done already. HOOORAY! One thing I wanted to do is make breakfast for Vin and I. Sundays are a good day for that eh?
Went to the market and got bacon for Vin, even though I don't eat it I LOVE the way it smells:D
I cooked the Maple Bacon on low heat for two hours, it came out pretty damn good as far as I'm concerned. I also made a frittata like thingamagigger. I filled it with cilantro, baby spinach, lots of garlic, baby mushrooms and feta cheese. It was fawkin awesome:D





Had an amazing conversation with my Mom today. She is wicked awesome. I was telling her that I had a dream last night that I was out behind her house and I could see all the planets and they were really close. There was a lot more to it but I wont get into it on this post. I have always had dreams about the sky behind my parents house. My Mom and I used to lay back there on a blanket and stare at the sky for hours. We still do when I go visit her.
I remember YEARS ago when I was still living there I had a dream that I looked up at the night sky and all the stars came together and formed a circle, and the circle started spinning. When I woke up I told my Mom about the dream and she told me that she used to have the same dream too when she was younger. That is something that I will never forget, that moment in time. She told me she used to have dreams about looking up into the sky behind her parents house too. It must mean something we just don't know what.
My Mom told me she loves the words fuck mook. And she says that she uses it when needed. She then remembered that Papa used to say Numb-ah when he thought people were being idiots. So then we build *Numb Fuck Mook*
Its a beautiful thing when a Mother and Daughter can chat on the phone on a Sunday morning and build swear words:P

Good News: When I talked to my thesis advisor, she was amazing. Lots of encouragement, lots of discussing how I can limit my scope to make my essay more effective, and omg... the encouragement. Just constantly referring to the contribution my thesis is going to make to the research, about where my thesis will be in the literature, about how important this research will be in the future... just... wow. I've never felt so thrilled and afraid, ever.

Bad News: OMG FORMAL THESIS PROPOSAL NEEDS TO BE IN ON WEDNESDAY I AM GOING TO DIE.