The "Power Aerobics" class at the Y is a lot more strenuous than the "Body Sculpting". I couldn't keep up with them. Part of it was that I had no idea what the moves were. The lady up front would chant, rapid fire, "One-and-
up-and-two-and-
touch-and-
out-and-
thrust, and by the time I had watched to see what part of me was supposed to be out-and-thrust, they'd gone on to in-and-front. The other part was, I'm just not in good enough condition for girly stuff. Not yet, anyhow. I shoulda stuck with the weightlifting and the nice, nonjudgmental epileptical machine.
Here's how I managed to do the workout regardless. The first thing was, I wrenched my face into the Sears catalog grin and kept it there. Seriously. Things don't hurt as much or even seem as frustrating if you do that. Plus, I associate it with being on stage, at which point part of me zones out of the mechanics and something else takes over. Just as if I'd rehearsed it.
The other thing I did was focus on the girl right in front of me. the one with the pneumatic superpowers and the tummy that looked about the consistency of the palm of my hand. I imagined puppet strings connecting all my joints to hers, and rather than listening to the twist-and-sweat commands, I just did what she was doing. I'm told the workout isn't as great if you do mechanics rather than focus on every sit-and-spin muscle group, but this called for desperate measures.
By the end of it my heart was going like a trip-hammer and one of my quadriceps had popped off and was flopping around on the floor like a beached mackerel, but I'd done it. Then, half the class left, and the others brought out the arr-arr pilates balls. I stuck around.
I'd learned about ball exercises from David Kirsch books, and it turned out I'd been doing them wrong. I thought "obliques" referred to the look you were supposed to give the illustration. Turned out, I discovered I had a muscle group called obliques. In fact, they're still getting to know me this morning. Hi there, obliques! Maybe you don't know about the manners of putting your feet on people's ribs the first time you're in their home.
I got some revenge when they did the tricep pushups on the ball. I have actually been doing bench dips and stuff, and my triceps are old friends. I can actually move as much weight with them as with my isolated shoulders. So they were impressed with something I could do after all. Go upper body st
And that was my adventure in physical conditioning for the day. I expect I'll come back for more, but not right away.