| My Little Sim-Sam, Samsula, Samma-Lamma Ding Dong |
[Jul. 20th, 2009|11:56 am] |
My precious wonderful dog Sammie died this morning. I am so sad that she's gone and I am going to miss her so much.
All of my life I wanted a dog so badly I couldn't stand it. Gommy had a dachshund named Suzie for 16 years, who died when I was around 4 years old. She was so heartbroken over the loss that she vowed NEVER AGAIN to have another dog. I felt that this decision was completely unfair. Why should I be punished because Suzie hadn’t lived forever? Thus began my 5 year mission to pester, cajole, plead, beg and rant my way into being a dog owner. I plastered my room with pictures of dogs, I watched every dog show on TV and I talked about dogs incessantly. I remember once when I was in first grade Purina posted a billboard up at our school that had a picture of a little boy hugging a Labrador with a message in the margin – The 5 Reasons Why Every Kid Should Have a Dog. I marched my 6 year old self right into the principal’s office and asked if I could reserve the poster after it was time to take it down. I was so thrilled the following month, when I was able to unroll it and cover the wall of my bedroom with this brilliant edition to my campaign.
On my 9th birthday, Gommy and Granddaddy finally caved and bought me a puppy, a little mini (supposedly) dachshund we named Schotsi. I was so happy, I actually wept with joy. Unfortunately my elation was slowly wiped out over the next few months and replaced with the realization that Schotsi was, in fact, the dog from hell.
While she was paper trained very quickly, when the time came for Schotsi to transition to the outside world, things went sour pretty quickly. Now, sometimes I understand when dogs have a hard time with housebreaking but in our case, Schotsi had 2 doggie doors and a huge fenced in yard to do her business. This really shouldn’t have been much of a problem, but every day Schotsi would go outside and play, then walk in the house and poop and pee right in front of the door. Over the next 2 years we tried every strategy on earth to try and get her to go to the bathroom outside – negative/positive reinforcement, trainers, books, chemicals you put on the grass, suppositories, puppy pads and crate training, all to no avail.
And that wasn’t the only problem. Schotsi was a chewer. She chewed on everything and I mean EVERYTHING. The corners of all the furniture in the house, the wallpaper off the walls, all shoes, books, jewelry, clothes, posters…anything she could get her paws on. Even at 2 years old, she was insatiable. As if these problems weren’t enough, she was not a nice dog. She was sulky and moody and she didn’t particularly care much for women – especially me. It was incredibly heartbreaking. Finally one day she snapped at me for no reason and Gommy decided we’d had enough of this demonic, demented beast. We put an ad in the paper explaining the situation and she was adopted by a wonderful family who took in abused animals and so had endless reserves of patience for animals behaving badly.
I cried for weeks and felt really awful about the entire experience, Gommy was really comforting through my whole grieving process. We all felt miserable because the dog experiment had ended as such an epic failure. So after that, I pretty much gave up the idea that I would ever have a dog again. I was too wounded to even consider bringing up the possibility that we would ever try to make this work with another dog.
About 4 years later, I was going through yet another break up with my high school boyfriend. I was sitting at the table moping with Gommy and Granddaddy about the whole thing. Granddaddy had never cared much for Nick and so he was jokingly trying to barter me out of my sorrow. “Okay, should we take you to Disney, will that get you over him? Could we pay you? How much money will ensure that Nick doesn’t come back into our lives?” In this mood of silly scenarios, I made a half hearted stab at the dog issue again, I smirked at him and said, “Well there is one thing, you know a pet dog would really help heal this broken heart. Taking it for walks would definitely get my mind off of boys for a while.” Gommy and Granddaddy gave each other a weird amused look and Granddaddy said, “Should we tell her?” Gommy tried to argue her way out of it, but of course I demanded to be let in on the secret. Granddaddy went in the other room and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of the garbage can. It was a classified ad featuring a 4 year old dachshund beagle mix named Sammie. He said he had seen it a few days before and he and Gommy had discussed maybe reconsidering their position on pets, since this dog sounded so perfect for us.
Well that settled it. I passionately insisted we call the very next morning. The following afternoon we met the Folk family and their dog Sammie. The first time I saw her I walked to their sliding glass door in the living room and she ran up to bark at me. I thought she was the most adorable dog I’d ever seen, with her tan face, black nose and big light brown eyes. I opened the door and she raced inside straight to the cat’s food bowl. Paula, her owner, offered to let me take her for a walk. Sammie went insane when I put the leash on her, and as soon as we were out the door she tore through the neighborhood like a maniac. I swear, Sammie was small but she could tear your arm off on a walk.
When we got back Paula talked a little bit about her, and why she needed to give her away. Her new job meant she didn’t have time to be home and Sammie was very needy. She also laughingly explained why Sammie was named as a boy, apparently her son was going through a phase in which everything was named Sammie. She told us another girl had come by to see her, a college student, but she worried she wouldn’t have the time to really give Sammie the attention she wanted. We assured her that Sammie would be given constant attention at our home. Gommy and Granddaddy never leave the house so they are the perfect pet owners. Paula cried a little and decided that we should take her. We assured her and her son that they were very welcome to come by and visit her at any time (a suggestion they actually took us up on a few years later).
And then we took my baby home, and she became the most wonderful uplifting part of our family. She was absolutely the best dog our family could have hoped for. She loved people, she loved cuddling and going for walks, she didn’t chew, or knock over the trash, or go to the bathroom inside – the notable exception being if she was pissed at you. If any of us left her alone for too long, she would go into the bedroom of the last person who left and poop in the doorway.
She had the most hilarious personality. She loved to chase lizards on the patio and specifically wanted you to watch her doing it. She would bark to get you outside and then begin her pursuit, looking back occasionally for approval. It cracked me up every time as did her treatment of visitors. She was very loving and friendly with guests when they came over, but as soon as they got up to leave, she would chase them to the door nipping at their heels as they left.
Another one of my favorite things about her was she would lay next to you while you watched TV and chew on her toenails, periodically holding her paw out to examine them before resuming her nibbling. I also loved, as many pet owers do, coming home and seeing her reaction. She would get so excited when we walked in the door that she would race from the living room, through the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and shoot out of the utility room. She would race this lap about 4 times, knocking every floor rug across the room. She was such a delight to have in the house, always coming into whatever room you were in and sitting right next to you. I would pet her for a while, and then pretend like I was stopping in disinterest. She would frantically wag her tail and lick my hands, while nosing her head under my palm to convince me to keep going.
She was such a beautiful part of my life, and she fulfilled this deep need I had to share a glowing experience with a beloved family pet. Gommy always hated it that I had to go off to college after only a few years with her, since she really was the most perfect dog for me. But in the time that I lived at home, I cherished her so much - taking her for walks, giving her treats and singing her silly songs. And whenever I came home from school she was there to greet me as though I’d never left. On my wedding day, after I had put the curlers in my hair, I laid down on the bed and cuddled with her for a long time, telling her what a good doggie she was and how I was sorry she couldn’t come live with me here. I have no doubt she felt exactly the same way, although I couldn’t have pried her away from Granddaddy with a crowbar. :o)
Most recently when I moved home for the past month, she was such a comfort to me going through such a scary time with the family. She missed Gommy and Grandaddy terribly, and I was so glad to be there to pet her and care for her as she trembled with sadness, keeping her eyes trained on the door waiting for Gommy to come home. I took her to Gommy’s rehab center the day before she left, and she was so well behaved and so happy to see Gommy. All the nurses were so proud of her and Gommy was so relieved to have her little girl there, even for a few hours.
Years ago Gommy and I had read an article in the paper where a woman had lost her dog and then bought a new one to replace her pet. When the dog was found by new people, the original family said they could keep it since they’d already gotten a new one. Gommy said, “Have you ever heard anything so awful?” Playing devil’s advocate, I said, “Well what would happen if we were in that situation?” “We would have two dogs,” she said, without hesitation. For years I joked that I was going to hide Sammie and fake her disappearance until we got a new pet, then we could have two dogs at once.
I had a dream about Sammie a few days ago. I walked into the kitchen and she was there with another dachshund that had somehow wandered into our yard. Gommy walked into the front door and I was completely stunned to see her. She said, she was walking now and had been released from Ocean View. She asked me what the deal was with the two dogs and I explained that Sammie had let her in. Gommy shrugged and said, “I guess we have two dogs now then.” But when I looked at Sammie, I understood that she was going to pass away soon, and she was trying to prepare us for the loss. When I woke up I told Robbie I hoped the dream was a sign that Gommy was going to recover.
This morning Granddaddy came home and she was lying under the hedge in the front yard, he reached down to pet her and he stretched out, breathed a sigh and was gone. I’m so sorry he had to see her go, but so relieved that she wasn’t alone and was instead with the person she loved most in this family.
Sammie, my darling, you will be missed forever. Thank for being my dog and my friend, I love you so much.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|12:24 am] |
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Listening to Seraphim Shock, the band Daisy used to be in. They are pretty good. I had this on my comp before I even knew Daisy was in it. Daisy was adorable back in the day. Looks like she hadnt had anything done yet. http://bit.ly/fhWh1
Yay. In This Moment retweeted my pics from their show. They rock!
Guess i came to work half hour late. oh well. guess i wont leave half hr early like i was gonna. Still havent gotten my check from last week. Nobody ever in there late. Ill get here early on Thurs to get it.
I am wearing hot pink sneakers. They rock.
Guess i got fucked up at one of the shows. Got bruises on my thigh. Thats nothing though. Ive gotten bloody at shows.
This has been such a mild summer. Tis real chilly out right now.
Miley Cyrus has a clothing line now lol i bought a cute pleated skirt.
Ordered SuicideCommando shirt a while ago & apparently it was out of stock so now I try to order from another site but they only take euros!
I dont know what the hell time I should show up at Summer Slaughter if I end up going. Not gonna get there at 2.
I need this corset http://bit.ly/jS1sq
This is probably what my cat thinks http://bit.ly/q7YAH
I hate when cute shoes are made of leather. =( Not everyone wants to wear dead animal on their feet. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|04:02 am] |
If you're still looking for a blanket
Sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm no sort of fabric
But if you need a tailor
Then take your torn shirt, and stumble up my stairs
And mumble your pitiful prayers
And in your tangled night's sleep, our midnight needles go to work
Until all comfort and fear flows in one river
Down on the shelf by the mirror where you see yourself whole
And it makes you shiver |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|03:26 am] |
Finally got a good sleep. Only to be woken up my the phone. Was having a weird ass dream about all these people that were on a search to prove that Michael Jackson was innocent. I was there but I think I was someone else... We were walking through woods and weird places... Met these weird guys in thongs and walked through a hall where babies were hung from chairs on the ceiling and were gonna be killed... The some of the kids that were with our group were in the chairs and were all bloody... And there were a bunch of animals with us... Smokie, my exs old pitbull Bandit, some beagle named "Beagle" & another cat or so. My biggest concern was making sure the animals were okay and that they were all following us. Oh yeah and my mom's pomeranian was there too. I lost Smokie at one point when we were in a grocery store so I went down into the basement and then found her and there were dead and dying animals down there. A box of kittens, grown cats, green eclectus parrots that were dead,a fox with its head in a hole throuh the cement that was dead. the cats and kittens were the only alive. Thats when I was woken up. I think Smokie had the same dream because she came over and was licking me like crazy when I woke.
I hate when people are so closed minded and snobby about music. Put almost any genre of music in front of me and I will genuinely enjoy it. Except for rap. I doubt I will ever get into rap. I dont see much creativity in it. And it makes my ears puke. Sorry, dont mean to offend. But the bands that played with In This Moment on Sat are a type of music I do not normally listen to and I really enjoyed it...Who knew that I would ever like screamo or hardcore or whatever it was. lol Of course I am a metalhead at heart and ebm/industrial makes my soul happy but it is cool to listen to other music once in a while too.
Apparently Aiden cover "Die Die My Darling" If they had played that on Sat I would have gone crazy. I love the Misfits! Last.fm describes Aiden as "horror punk"... Well no wonder I liked them. lol. ...tagged with "emocore" lol... honestly I dont know what emo music exactly is. What bands are considered emo?
About to resize my Big Day Out pics. Sadly I have no more pics from the Saturday show because of memory card problems. Photoshop is being so fucking slow to resize these damn pics! Not even half done! I should restart comp but I hate waiting. I know my pics from last night suck but its hard to get a good pic when you are not stage side. Im gonna post them in a sec. I really really wish my memory card hadnt failed for the In This Moment/ Aiden show. I had 5 available pics and saved them all for ITM. Can usually get amazing pics at Northern Lights. I am so sad =( I had Aiden right in front of me. Plus would have loved to take video of ITM.
I want to be a merch girl. Or a roadie but I am not strong enough. lol. Actually what I would really love to do is live music photography. Ive been doing it non professionally since I was like 14.
Listening to William Control (side project from the Aiden vocalist). I like this. Kinda electro. You know I love my electro. Sounds a bit 80's new wave.
Down have a Twitter. I wonder if Phil Anselmo writes it? lol I cant imagine. There is only one update anyway.
Video from last night of Aaron Lewis doing "Outside". Damn him for facing the other way! lol http://bit.ly/130RJk
Halestorm pics: http://twitpic.com/aar8h ~ http://twitpic.com/aarcf ~ http://twitpic.com/aarkw ~ http://twitpic.com/aarlz @HalestormRocks
Sum 41 pics: http://twitpic.com/aas36 ~ http://twitpic.com/aas3p @Sum41
Chevelle pic: http://twitpic.com/aas8m @ChevelleInc
Shinedown pics: http://twitpic.com/aashx (this is a great one!) ~ http://twitpic.com/aasiq ~ http://twitpic.com/aasda @ShinedownMusic
The Offspring pics: http://twitpic.com/aasp2 ~ http://twitpic.com/aaspl ~ http://twitpic.com/aasrx
Staind pics: Staind http://twitpic.com/aasxt ~ http://twitpic.com/aat0o ~ http://twitpic.com/aasv4 ~ http://twitpic.com/aaswv ~ http://twitpic.com/aat2i
Another video of Aaron Lewis doing acoustic. "It's Been a While" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1k8kMR6skQ
Memory card ran out during "Mudshovel" but I got like 5 seconds lol http://bit.ly/14S2Ve Sorry, I was jumping lol |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|08:42 pm] |
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PS: Sorry if my posts seem rambley or dont make sense in the context they are in. It is me copy and pasting them from Twitter. I tweet all day even by text message so when I post them all at once it probably doesnt often make a lot of sense. But since LoudTwitter doesnt exist anymore I still want to keep track of my life on LJ so that is why I do it. It is better this way anyway because I can separate things into paragraphs. |
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| Rock N Roll Weekend |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|08:18 pm] |
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SATURDAY:
What are these bands: Aiden, Curse The Mariner, The Designer Drugs? Sounds emo-y or hardcore :-/ They are also playing tonight. Maybe I should have arranged to go to the show later. I have a feeling I will not like those bands much.
Wow dude best show EVER. New biggest fan of AIDEN. Totally was grabbed by the vocalist. Not drunk enough or i would have went & met them. Maria Brink is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. In This Moment was amazing!!!!! Maria makes me proud to be an upstate NY girl =) I totally should have chatted up this dude from Aiden (bass player). He was drinkin at the bar like 2 stools down and I knew he must be from a band because he was fucking hot and all tattooed and gorgeous. He was sitting all alone for a long ass time too. Sigh. I should have drank more. lol. I had 3 wild turkeys & coke and a beer but I didnt get all that buzzed. I was just drinking at the bar for a long time because it was all like lil hardcore kids for the first few bands and I felt out of place. lol. And my new memory card for my camera wasnt working!!!!! So I could only take 4 pics!!!!!!!! I could have gotten some wonderful Aiden pics. The beautiful tattooed boy was a foot away. And of course I got to touch the Aiden vocalist quite well =D. All the girls looked on in jealousy! He grabbed my head- I grabbed his thigh! Im sorry Aiden vocalist. I feel I molested you. That bass player was sexy. He saw me seeing him and saw me seeing him again when they were playing and said hello. I am such a groupie. I probably lost 20 pounds from jumping and headbanging. Maria was so cute. Shes from Albany so she had friends and family there. She shouted out to her mom. And now I have to go to bed soon because I have to get up tomorrow for another big day of rock n roll! Oh yeah and apparently this show only happened because some band members were not allowed in Canada on Warped Tour cuz of criminal records. So YAY for criminal records! Man, I need to go to shows like everyday. As you can see they make me immensely happy. As do hot tattooed band boys. It is great to be a girl at a rock/ metal show. But it is even better to be a child. This one kid got all the attention. lol Man, how can I go to sleep now when I am all fired up? Guess I wont get much sleep before Big Day Out. No way it will be as cool as tonight. I need a rockstar boyfriend. Now please. Im meant to be a chick on the side of the stage. Hell, I already am one. lol Sigh.. How am I so man crazy yet so adamant about being single? Guess because there are no sexy musicians around here.... First time I heard In This Moment was January 1st of this year. I remember it well. It was a Tussin night...right after getting in from downtown. And I KNEW that this band would be a major part of my new year. And they have been. Here's my few pics I was able to take: http://twitpic.com/a3nv8 ~ http://twitpic.com/a3nwf ~ http://twitpic.com/a3nxo
SUNDAY:
I was in bad shape all night. Throwing up a million times and shaking. I cant drink whiskey like I used to. Only slept a couple hours. I doubt Ill feel like drinking anything at today's show. So tired that my eyes are tearing. And least Im not hungover. I dont think I get hangovers. I just throw up for several hours. lol I guess maybe thats a hangover idk...
Going to Big Day Out in an hour. The bands are Staind, Halestorm, Shinedown, the Offspring, Chevelle, Sum 41. Seen the first 3 before.
Halestorm were amazing. Sum41 were funny. Lot of mohawk boys here. I like. Offspring were awesome. Yay 90s music! Chevelle & Shinedown were good. Staind are next then i rest! I am dead.
OMG best Staind show ever! Aaron sat on a stool in the middle of the crowd and did "Outside" and "Its Been a While" acoustic. I have videos. They the did "Mudshovel" last and everyone ran to the front. I finally perked up during that song & went crazy. I fucking LOVE that song. I remember being 16 and walking through my mom's neighborhood with @kyliesays and screaming out "MUDSHOVELLLLLLL!!!" Oh how the time passes! lol. Yeah and I cant get through a Staind show without tears. But it wasnt sadness for the first time ever. It was happiness & accomplishment. A year ago at the Staind show I cried during every song because I was so unhappy. Now today I cried because I have come so far. I have completed my circle. Maybe it is now time for something new to begin. I love you Staind & Aaron Lewis. 10 year fan. Doesnt seem it could have been that long but it has. And Halestorm are AMAZING. The voice is incredible! Like you wouldnt believe. It was also really cool to see the Offspring. I had forgotten how much I actually like them. The "intermission" was funny. And I didnt drink. I wanted to desperately because it makes a show so mkuch more enjoyable but my belly still felt funny. And I was dead tired the whole day until Mudshovel came on. I was even too tired to go look for hot boys. And there were a lot. I also give props to the singer of Shinedown. He came out into the audience as well. I had pretty good seats actually. I normally dont like getting seats & prefer lawn because it is more of a fun crowd experience... But my seats today were really good so it was okay. Especially since I was so tired and could sit in between bands. SPAC's prices are outrageous though. $4 for water/soda. $9 for a piece of pizza. $12 for beer. I was not into the local band that won the local band challenge. Rapcore. I know my local bands and there are some great ones out there.
Hopefully Friday I am going to Summer Slaughter. Saturday = hardcore, Sunday = rock and Friday = death metal. Boy, am I eclectic! lmao! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2009|06:34 am] |
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Lamb of God are opening for Metallica?! Holy crap! I already have tickets for the November Albany show! Im more excited to see LOG than Met! Ive seen Metallica before. Didnt get to see Lamb of God when they came and I was sad so this is awesome! Wish I had pit tickets though =( Last time I saw Metallica I was 5 feet away and it was lovely. I just have seat tickets this time. I hope the seats dont suck extremely bad.
I need a nap. After not being on Ambien for a week I realized that the reason I feel drained all the time is due to Ambien... I wasnt drained & lifeless feeling without Ambien like I am with it. Just exhausted and cracked out because I was unable to sleep... So I guess it is a choice of feeling drained or of feeling exhausted.
Hot boy that looks exctly like JACOB was just talking to me! Maybe it was him! lmao Doubt the real jacob would be waiting for the bus trying to get to the college lol Must be a smart lil Jacob going to Skidmore. I should go find myself some 18 year old Skidmore boys. lol Sorry guys, I tend to like them young! Although 7 years is a bit much lol |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|02:32 am] |
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Got a bunch of MJ magazines- like 6 of them, new Guitar World buyer's guide, and complete works of Edgar Allen Poe. Daisy looks so hot on the cover of the buyer's guide. Megan doesnt.
Wow dude, Minarik guitars are sick! http://minarikguitars.com/ Speaking of guitars, just found out that my old Fender is rare and worth money. Fender Coronado 2.
I want to try DMT and communicate with spiritual/ alien beings. They say you can do it on DXM too but Ive never done enough for that. I have had some very spiritual experiences with DXM though.
NANA anime is finally coming out in the US! It will be interesting to see in English! Cover of the first box set: http://i29.tinypic.com/9kxvr7.jpg
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|12:57 am] |
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You know that you are back on Ambien when you wake up hazily remembering making some weird food concoctions the night before. lol
YAY!!! I am going to see In This Moment on Sat! Then Big Day Out fest on Sun! I'm gonna be a hot mess. lol And my ex just told me that he will give me a ride to Edgefest in August!!! LUCKY DAY TODAY!!!!! =D =D =D Im so excited for the next 4 weeks. A show per week & 2 this weekend!
Crap video of Poison that I took. http://bit.ly/16jSE9
Missed like the 2nd half of the MJ memorial because I fell asleep. Imagine me being unable to sleep for days then I fall asleep during that. They keep showing MJ's daughter's speech. So sad. MJ's children are some beautiful little kids.
Happy NANA day! I forgot 7/7 is NANA day. (anime/ manga if you dont know what Im talking about)
Buckethead's song for Michael Jackson http://bucketheadland.com/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|11:02 am] |
New job update:
I've been fired. Fucking COOL.
I'm so down on myself.
I was pulling a huge truck out of a parking space and it's back right wheel clipped some old Honda Civic's front left headlight and bumper.
Everyone there said the damage would cost around $250 and that I'd keep my job as it wasn't a big deal at all.
Lots of people fuck up when they first start working there.
The estimate for the damage came back as $5,700.
FUCKING WHAT.
That canNOT be possible.
These people have to have gone to a mechanic who was a friend and pulled some strings to have this happen. I'm SO FUCKING SAD.
I'm so fucking embarrassed and ashamed. I loved this job and was proving myself to everyone and doing a decent job.
Rad. Now I'm unemployed. |
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