Eris Needs Women!!

Nominate your Pastor for a trip to Israel!

2009-07-24T04:13:40Z

http://action.afa.net/israel/

Nominate Your Pastor and their Spouse to Win the Trip of a Lifetime!

Imagine your pastor walking in the footsteps of Jesus by visiting such places as Jerusalem, the Sea of Galilee, the Garden Tomb, Gethsemane and the Jordan River. Your pastor would never be the same!
That’s why American Family Association, Educational Opportunities Tours, and EL AL, the national airline of Israel, would like to send your pastor to the Holy Land. We are giving away a seven-day trip for two that includes airfare, hotel accommodations, meals and daily tours of Israel.

To nominate your pastor for this life-changing experience, just fill out the contest form to the right. The grand-prize drawing will be held Monday, July 27 at 5:00 pm CST.

Express your appreciation… Nominate your pastor today!

Nominate Robert Carter II of the Fifth Trinity Church! Send me & Rob to Israel!

Site says the winner is chosen on July 27 by random drawing... let's find out if a Discordian pastor can win! (Or hey, send the link around to your friends, and nominate some OTHER pastor! It's not like it costs anything to throw extra names in the hat.)

question

2008-02-11T23:36:50Z

I just discovered Discordianism yesterday and am very intrigued by it, however I have just one question. I keep reading about hot dogs, but eating hot dogs is not a nessecary practice, is it? See, I am a vegetarian, and to me that comes first.

Pamphlet Excerpt

2008-02-11T20:10:43Z

From the pamphlet to distribute at PantheaCon:

Fifth Trinity Church

We are a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns and similar maniacs who are intrigued with Eris, Goddess of Confusion, and her doings.

We believe She sent visions to Her chosen emissaries, later known as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, which led them to record the sacred scripture: "Principia Discordia, or, How I found Goddess and what I did to Her when I found Her," wherein is explained absolutely everything worth knowing about absolutely anything. The principles of our faith are contained within the Principia, but for those whose Eris-given insight doesn't find it sufficient, we recognize that several other scriptures contain portions of Her holy message. We believe Eris speaks to each person individually, and guides his or her actions toward her goals, which are incomprehensible to humankind.

We believe some persons are more adept than others are recognizing Eris' voice, and we accord those persons the respect due their holy status. (Insert picture of 5-legged elephant.)

We attempt to understand Eris' message as expressed through all that exists. We attempt to inflict understanding of Eris' message on others.

We believe that all things are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.

Why A Church?

Because we can. Because Discordianism is one of the least-acknowledged Pagan religions; everyone thinks we're a joke. (Well, we are. But that doesn't mean we're not a religion.) Because the thought of Discordian military chaplains witnessing to Southern Baptists is a gleeful one. Because the Satanists are bogarting all the fear, and the eclectic neo-Wiccans are laying claim to "anything you want it to be" as if they invented it. Because Discordian clergy deserve to be ordained for their own spirituality, not just under the ULC's "anything goes" rubric.

We deserve our own "anything goes" rubric!

But Really... Why a Church?

A church is an organization with the intended purpose of practicing a religion. This is an organization; we intend to practice a religion. (Until we get it right.) That makes us a church.
(A lot of followers of Eris object to the word "organization." I suggest that they consider it a derivative of "organ"--a living thing with a specific function, not "organize" meaning "to categorize and sort." Or think, "a device for making loud music," 'cos we do that too.)

Isn't Discordianism A Bit Too... umm, Weird For A Legal Church?

At first, we thought so. But we did some research. We found:

Grace Community church says "We believe that Jesus Christ is the Lord and Head of the Church."
A church in Milford, NH, "acknowledges Jesus Christ as its Head."
The Covenant of Grace Church bylaws state, "This church recognizes Jesus Christ as her only Sovereign Head; thereby she will remain an unlicensed, unregistered, and unincorporated church."

What do these have in common?

They acknowledge as their leader someone who was killed two thousand years ago, and if he's still active (the rest of us call that "undead"), doesn't reside on this planet. Wow. The head of all these churches is someone who has no driver's license, can't sign forms, won't appear on camera, and does not breathe.

Nothing any Discordian could come up with would out-weird that. I mean, we could elect a cabbage to be head of our church, and at least it would be something that drinks water and can get sunburn.

What Makes Discordianism A Religion, Not Just A Joke?

Being a joke doesn't exempt something from being a religion. A religion can be defined as a meme intended to lead people to a specific form of the religious experience: "the ecstatic, incontrovertibly certain, subjective discovery of answers to seven basic spiritual questions." (Questions viewable at this IJ post

The I.R.S. Criteria for Consideration of Churches

The IRS has a set of 14 criteria it uses to determine whether an organization qualifies as a church. They do not recognize "religions," only "churches, as an official list of religions would violate First Amendment rights to freedom from laws pertaining to or establishing religions. An organization is not required to have all of these; a majority is generally considered conclusive, and even a few would be enough, if they were well-explained and indicated sacerdotal function and religious activity in the community.

A distinct legal existence.
A recognized creed and form of worship.
A definite and distinct ecclesiastical government.
A formal code of doctrine and discipline.
A distinct religious history.
A membership not associated with any other church or denomination.
A complete organization of ordained ministers ministering to their congregations.
Ordained ministers selected after completing prescribed courses of study.
A literature of its own.

Established places of worship.
Regular congregations.
Regular religious services
Sunday schools for the religious instruction of the young.
Schools for the preparation of its ministers.

Remember Waco: Is Your Church B.A.T.F. Approved?

Logically, are gods bound by truth?

2007-10-15T02:19:33Z

So I was wandering around the Recovery From Mormonism board (yeah, I'm a happy apostate), and one of the discussions got me thinking pretty deeply. One of the tenets of the religion is that (throwing out the whole Christ and grace thing,) so long as one follows the commandments of God, he's bound to ensure that person's salvation. This is found somewhere in Matthew, I think, but that's not really important.

The part I found interesting was the derision people were showering on the concept of a god being bound in any way, as though, just by a god being a god, he didn't have to follow rules. Wouldn't honesty and integrity to one's word be one of the most important characteristics of being a god? Without the power of truth behind one's words, where is the power of a god? One cannot be arbitrary or untrue of purpose in one's magick unless one expects that magick to go awry or fail completely; how much more so would that principle apply to divinity?

Anyway, this whole concept is still rattling around in my skull half-formed, and I wondered what other people thought.

*** *** ***

Oh, and by the way: Hi there! I'm new. ::grins::

*** *** ***

x-posted to:
academicpagans, celticpagans, feri, fifthtrinity,
nonfluffymagic, nonwiccanwitch, occult, pagan,
solitarywiccans, and my own journal.

Yes, I was that curious.

fifthtrinity @ 2007-05-16T06:07:00

2007-05-17T00:04:37Z

I stumbled on this site years ago, and even emailed elfwreck to see if he needed any help setting up a website. (I design software/websites by trade.) I think I was probably nonperson@operamail back then. Maybe NotACabbage@operamail

Anyways, I was just telling my friend who is being audited that he should start a church as a way to obscure some of his financial transactions. Then I remembered this site and thought I'd come see what progress has been made..... Not much by the look of it. Are you guys any nearer to incorporation yet? I would totally be all about becoming a priest/deacon/whatever, and then guerilla marrying people.
I would just walk up to random people or things and start a wedding ceremony. They would laugh, and think it was strange. They might think, "who is this guy, he can't really marry me to this potted cactus can he?"
"Yes. Yes I can." is what I would think back at them.

So, what's the story? When are you officially "A Church"?

--supemoy

One Week To Go...

2007-02-12T17:19:37Z

~~Until 1984~~ To Wilson's Wake!

Check the wake blog for a party in your city!

IMPORTANT NOTICE RE: Robert Anton Wilson wake

2007-01-24T21:46:12Z

Due to a miscommunication of the date of the Robert Anton Wilson Memorial, the wake wound up on the wrong date.

I have therefore, moved the wake at the Imperial Pub to Sunday, February 18th to really coincide with the memorial service in San Francisco.

Remembering RAW

2007-01-19T21:22:22Z

I've organized a wake in Toronto to coincide with RA Wilson's memorial service on Feb 7th.

I would like to encourage others to do the same in their home towns/cities.

To help out, I'm putting together a blog/promotional kit at Raw Remembered

This is not for fame, fortune or even profit. I just thought it'd be a neat event to go to, and if I don't organize it, who will?

RAW

2007-01-11T22:21:46Z

Sweet dreams Mr. Wilson. Eat a hotdog with our lady for me.

Possible member.

2006-09-27T14:18:57Z

I'm not familiar with the more precise legal details of the project, so I have to ask this question, even though I'm pretty sure I already know the answer... given that the base of this happening is in the state called California, which is in the country known as The United States of America, would a Pope from an eastern province in the country known as Canada be of any use to you? If so, I will email my details (including my Greyface name), but would prefer not to share them publicly here.

fifthtrinity @ 2006-05-25T01:11:00

2006-05-25T05:20:26Z

Hail Eris!

Attention all Fifth Trinity members... for those who missed the announcment beamed directly to your pineal glands (I'm sure you have your excuses... Really, anyone?), Hot Topic is selling t-shirts with the image of our newly sainted St. Link! (THERE!)

fifthtrinity @ 2006-05-11T02:12:00

2006-05-11T06:23:33Z

Hello, my name is not Indigo Montoya (wouldn't that kick all ass?). I'm expressing my interest in being an "official" member. (Also, because no one has posted in several months, and that is sad.) I can offer my talents as an artist to draw many nifty things, and, uhm, juice boxes. And a banana-shaped table. Seriously.

Hail Eris!

Prances-with-Peacocks
(Who often rides the Several Aisles of Walgreens in full pirate regalia.)

Hi elfwreck! Um... I mean, Reverend.

2005-09-15T07:55:33Z

Where abouts in California is this church located?

How does one go about becoming an official member?

What is the square root of sixteen?

How can I help?

Was this question just thrown in to serve the Law of Fives?

Discordian Mandala

2005-07-31T07:27:54Z

Well, well, I can't seem to get a flash movie to load into a journal entry. You can view the
DISCORDIAN MANDALA
here.

You can also find it on the 23 Apples of Eris!

The 23 Apples of Eris Lives Again!!!!

2005-02-25T23:43:28Z

For any out there who seem interested (an I know that fits alot of you!):

The 23 Apples of Eris homepage (www.23ae.com) has risen like the Pheonix from the Ashes of THATHORRIBLEHACK. I encourage any and all who have an interest in SHE-WHO-DONE-IT-ALL to stop by the new site and congratulate PMC from rescuing the site from the Region of Thud!

And now:

Image Source

X-Posted to telarus, _sacred_chao_, chosenbyeris, discord_society, discordianism, eristicmystics, fifthtrinity, haileris, lokeans, and operationmindfu

Brief History of the Faith

2005-02-23T16:24:09Z

The first question on IRS form 1023 (nonprofit app), Schedule A (specific to religious orgs) is: Provide a brief history of the development of the organization, including the reasons for its formation.

My rough outline notes for answering are:
(insert attachment covering the following points in flowery legalese)
• Religion itself long dormant, as Eris' spirit left mankind; as she has recently returned her attention to us, her church is necessary to guide mankind's spiritual development.
• Erisian Vision to the Polyfather & his sidekick
• History of Discordian Activities in the last 30+ years
• History of the Annual Discordian Ritual, which has grown into something of a movement, inspiring other Discordians to hold their own religious services
• General disrespect & discrimination that Erisians face require a central church to advocate on their behalf and explain the tenets of our faith to outsiders.
• Eris told me to make a church.

Our faith is an ancient one fnord, tracing its origins to 1160 B.C.E., the end of the Bronze Age & the beginning of what’s known as the “Dark Age” by archeological scholars. We follow the will of the Goddess known to the Greeks as Eris, and to the Romans as Discordia. She was known by various titles: as Strife, or Chaos, or Confusion, and several other names. As life does not exist without struggle, we know her to be among the mightiest of deities.

Eris was acknowledged to be a mighty Goddess, with powers beyond those of Zeus himself; the “King” of the Gods needed her assistance to make the sun go backwards, to persuade Thyestes to abandon his throne for Atreus.

Eris gave birth to Horcus that those who broke their oaths would be punished; she brings to the world a sense of justice, a guarantee of punishment of fraud. (Homerica: (ll. 802-804) Avoid fifth days: they are unkindly and terrible. On a fifth day, they say, the Erinyes assisted at the birth of Horcus (Oath) whom Eris (Strife) bare to trouble the forsworn.

Eris punishes hubris and serves as a warning to the Gods themselves that if they are not fair & just with each other, all sorts of ruin and pain will follow.
THE CYPRIA (fragments) Fragment 1:
Zeus plans with Themis to bring about the Trojan war. Strife arrives while the gods are feasting at the marriage of Peleus and starts a dispute between Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite as to which of them is fairest.

It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.
This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.

Now, three of the invited goddesses, Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.

Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.

Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.

As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (the Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.

And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.

——Principia Discordia

The Erisian faith went dormant soon after the Trojan War, as Eris withdrew Her attention from our race so that we might develop ourselves. Recently, She has re-focused on us, and Her followers have grown more active, although they were never entirely missing from historical affairs.

Emperor Joshua Norton I of San Francisco was one of Her most favored children. (INSERT BRIEF HISTORY OF NORTON)

In 1963, the Principia Discordia was recorded by Malaclypse the Younger, a Saint living in southern California. He and the other members of the Paratheoanametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric sought to spread the news of the return of Eris Discordia to those who seemed most needful of its message: students, bureaucrats, hippies, neo-Pagans, and others of much ilk.

In the 70’s, Discordianism became a minority religion, mostly followed by counterculture members who’d grown dissatisfied with mainstream faiths. Hidden references to it can be found in many documents of the era: (ADD EXAMPLES LATER)

When the internet grew past simple email, these isolated followers of Eris found each other, and Discordian ftp sites and later, www sites, proliferated. Several religious discussion groups existed on usenet, before the rise of the world wide web; these include but are not limited to alt.religion.discordia, alt.religion.eris, alt.religion.discordianism. The original Spam Jake Day was coordinated as a national effort on alt.religion.discordia on the date Discord 70, 3160 (May 23, 1993 by Gregorian calendar).

However, many of these Discordians lost contact with each other when they changed ISPs; their sites were deleted; many Erisians lost touch with each other and many great Jakes were left unfinished. It is in part because of the fractured and erratic nature of the ’net that this church is being founded: to create a permanent, central connection point for Discordian outreach and worship, to advocate on behalf of fellow Discordians who often face discrimination for their religious beliefs, and to train neophyte Discordians who wish to minister to each other and their communities.

In recent years, we have held a Liturgy to the Lady Eris through the organization Fellowship of the Spiral Path, and an annual outreach ritual during the multifaith religious convention PantheaCon. The ritual is attended by several dozen people, sometimes as many as a couple hundred; our religion has gained many new ~~idio~~ ~~foo~~ ~~vict~~ converts as a result of these services.

We have also held small informal worship services, and are seeking to continue these and add larger services, with more opportunity for community outreach.

Comments welcome. Additional details welcome. Corrections of facts welcome, but not necessary. (If the Lutheran Synod can claim the head of their church is a guy who's been dead for 2,000 years, facts are obviously not the key features of these reports.)

Another question is "Describe the form of worship and attach a schedule of worship services."

Form of worship; schedule of services
The primary form of Discordian worship service is the Jake, in which one or more Discordians will attempt to bring others to a new awareness of Eris’ workings in their lives. There is no standard form for jakes, which are inspired by Eris and must be adapted to the exact situation at hand. There’s no religion-wide schedule for jakes, although many individual cabals have monthly or annual jakes.

Non-Jake worship services generally include an opening prayer, a few hymns, a sermon focused on a matter of religious ethics or faith, perhaps another hymn, an opportunity to share religious experiences with each other, and a closing prayer. Some services, however, are derived from the Wiccan model: creating “sacred space” by an action known as “casting the circle” (or other sacred shape) to acknowledge the holiness of the event and its separation from everyday life, a calling of the sacred elements to bless the ritual space, a devotive or invocative prayer to Eris (and possibly her consort, her son, or her saints), raising of energy to be directed toward some desirable goal (often by song, dance, chanting, or physical activity), feasting on sacred foods, an opportunity for exchanging stories and emotional support, and eventually, ending the service by opening the circle and thanking the Gods & Spirits for their presence and guidance.

Our Constitution outlines the holy days of the Discordian calendar; individual members of the church often hold devotive services on each of those days. Also, as scripture contains a direction for new Discordians to perform a devotive ceremony on a Friday, we will hold open services for the community on alternate Fridays to allow prospective members to learn about the church. These are generally small ceremonies advertised by word-of-mouth only.

Later, I'll add bits about "how to attract new members." (Am told that they probably won't be happy if I answer "with magnets.")

Ordination Training, 5th Trinity Church

2005-02-22T06:13:48Z

[incomplete very rough draft]

These are considered to be one example of an acceptable training course; individual programs and resulting titles may be tailored to the postulant by his/her mentor and/or the council.

What’s expected of a priestess of Eris: An understanding of the contents of Principia & several other (unspecified) Discordian works. Ability to create Discordian rituals appropriate (?) to any situation. Ability to confuse & dismay people at random; ability to convince others –through reference to Discordian scripture or activity– that this is a real religion and not a joke pretending to be a religion. Ability to get others to acknowledge that on some levels, their religions make no more sense than this one. Ability to make these things fun, not just intellectual exercises. Awareness of Discordian principles & how they contrast with other religions’ principles.

Postulant:
Those who wish to be accepted into ordination training must show by word or deed that they have been touched by Eris, and that they intend to keep to Her holy plan throughout their life. Upon being accepted into the program, the postulant will be known as “Minister of the Gospel,” and is expected to spread the Strange News at every reasonable opportunity.
Each Phase is expected to take approximately one year to complete, although much individual variation is permissible.

1st Phase (Knowledge): Study-related only
Understanding of Discordianism. Ability to quote the Principia & see the Fnords. Knowledge of religious terminology & how to use it. Knowledge of Discordian history. Awareness of jokes/laughter/fun as an important spiritual activity.

Reading List (below); essays req’d on each book

Written exercises assigned by mentor
History of Discordianism studies, incl. Rule 2.
Visit at least one Discordian Shine (The Mystery Spot, the Winchester House, Lombard Street, Emperor Norton’s gravesite, etc.)
Vocabulary studies: priestly phrases, and current pagan buzzwords
Studies on humor affecting health & lifestyle

Reading List, 1st Year (essential Discordianism; req'd reading):

Principia Discordia
Illuminatus Trilogy
Discordian-relevant sections of Drawing Down the Moon
Eris-related Greek Myths (candidate req’d to find some)
Shrodinger’s Cat Trilogy
Alice in Wonderland
Hitchhiker's Guide Trilogy

Movies (suggested):

The Gods Must Be Crazy
Prisoner Episode: Hammer & Anvil or The Schizoid Man
A Clockwork Orange
Baron Munchhausen
12 Monkeys
Being There
King of Hearts
They Might Be Giants
The Meaning of Life
Fight Club

COMMUNICATION SKILLS
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, Suzette Hadin Elgin
Pair off & do exercises therein; be able to state the 8 verbal attack patterns & how to counter them.

HUMOR & HEALTH STUDIES:
[incomplete.]

Upon completion of this stage, the postulant will have earned the title "Disciple of Truth" and be addressed by the term "Brother [yournamehere]"

2nd Phase: Study & Practice
Understanding of other religions, and how Discordianism compares. Awareness of legal principles involved in religious matters. Understanding of ritual structure & symbolisms. Basics of divination. Basics of counseling. Participation in some Discordian outreach activities. Comfortable explaining the principles & background of Discordianism.

More reading & Essays
Write & Lead a Discordian Worship Service
Start writing/collecting a Book of Shatters: rites for the holy days
Participate in a Discordian Outreach Action ("DOA") like Spam Jake Day
Visit 2 more Discordian Shrines
Learn a Discordian divination method
Studies in religious ritual structure & myths

Reading List, 2nd-4th Year (religious diversity studies; not all req'd)

2 books by Camden Benares
Tao of Pooh
Tao Speaks (in comic book form)
Any book by Joseph Campbell
Stranger in a Strange Land, the uncut version (or whichever you haven’t read)
The rest of Drawing Down the Moon
Das Energi by Paul Williams
Quantum Psychology
Cosmic Trigger
Prometheus Rising
The Ethical Slut
Pagans and the Law
Candide
[Chaos Magic books: Liber Null]
Crowley:
(Great Garden Companions--Sally Jean Cunningham)
(Love Sao, letters from a boy in the city)
Electric Koolaid Acid Test & Another Roadside Attraction

Movies:

Goddess Rap 107 (Goddess Trilogy from the Canada film board)
Wicker Man
Caligula
Life of Brian
Duck Soup

RITUAL STRUCTURE & MYTHOLOGY:
Masks of God: Primitive Theology: Joseph Campbell
Read, & compose an analysis of modern ritual of your choice comparing it to the principles in Primitive Theology
At least two original-source Mythological works of choice from different regions, i.e. The Odyssey, the Iliad, the Kalevala, the Sagas and/or Eddas, the Pentateuch, Book of Going Forth By Day,
The Politics of Ecstasy, Timothy Leary
Explain the purpose of religion, & method of judging validity of a particular one

Upon completion of this stage, the postulant will have earned the title "Disciple of Lies" and be addressed by the term "Sister [yournamehere]."

3rd Phase: Ministering
Ability to switch between “wingnut” and “normal” mindset/attitude. Putting knowledge into action: actually doing Discordian stuff, not just talking & writing about it. Collecting a large mass of Discordiana for personal entertainment & proselytization purposes. Understanding the contents of several more Discordian books, & why they are “Discordian.” More counseling skills: ability to advise others on the Discordian outlook for their situation. Ability to analyze literature, historical events, art, & various activities for their Discordian relevance & importance. Comfortable & skilled at proselytizing.

Lead or assist in leading Discordian services for a year
Finishing writing/adapting rites for 13 holy days: apostle days, season’s day, St. Tibbs, St. Stupid's, & one Erisian service or another religion’s Holy Day.
(It is assumed these rites will be led during the course of this & the next 2 years)
Do at least 1 intentionally Discordian thing every week for the year
Read & analyze (verbally shred) a Llewellyn neopagan piece of fluff
Studies in psychology, rhetoric, religious history and/or sociology

RELIGIOUS HISTORY:
Drawing Down the Moon: Margot Adler

PSYCHOLOGY/SOCIOLOGY:
Collective Unconscious: Jung

Upon completion of this stage, the postulant will have earned the title "Grand Novitiate of Psychoses" and be addressed by the term "Nova [yournamehere]."

4th Phase: the Lifestyle
Ability to find Discordian relevance in everyday life. Awareness of which proselytization techniques are most effective, and why. Proven ability to actually bring people into the faith. Ability to create Disc. rituals & prayers for any occasion. Historical studies: understanding of changes in myth, folklore & weirdness over last several hundred (thousand?) years. Studies in psychology & the differences between imprints, conditioning & habits, and how to affect each of them. Regular Discordian activities.

Adopt a permanent change that reflects how Eris has entered your life (i.e. a tattoo, a piercing, a baby)
Bring people into the Church
Start saying Discordian devotions every morning & evening (or at appropriate times)
Participate in multiple DOA’s (one per season is appropriate)
Continue conducting services; write & conduct at least 3 Disc. Rites of Passage
Practice your Disco-divination. For someone else.
Discover a previously unrecognized Discordian Shrine/Holy Place
Studies in semiotics, quantum physics, parapsychology and/or “re-imprinting”

The Game of Life: Timothy Leary
Prometheus Rising: Robert Anton Wilson

Upon completion of this stage, the postulant will have earned the title "Most Excellent Noble Holey Inspired Reverend Bishop and Lay Deacon" (MENHIR-BaLD) and be addressed by the term "Primi [yournamehere]." If an approved academic plan has been completed as well, the postulant may also be known as a Master of Discordiana: M.D.

5th Phase (Fanatic): Over the Edge
New insights into the basic meaning, purpose & lifestyle of Discordianism—which can be explained to non-Discordians. Fully immersed in the Discordian religion/lifestyle. Creates new contributions to the religion as a whole.

Pull off a Grand Jake affecting at least 100 people
Adopt an Erisian Lifestyle Quirk: something that not only is Erisian, but that is obvious to the casual observer
Attend services of another religion; practice parts thereof; write a dissertation on this experience.
Create an original Discordian work that furthers the Understanding or Acknowledgement of Eris: a book, a work of art, an organization, etc.

Reading List, later (advanced studies; read at least 1 & submit a work showing the understanding thereof; req’d for MD or DDT.)

Codex Serephinianus
Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake
ExoPsychology (Leary)
The Compleat Angler, or The Contemplative Man's Recreation
Gravity's Rainbow
?? Fingerprint of the Gods (Graham ??)

Related Studies

Book of the SubGenius
Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Jitterbug Perfume
Various Loompanics Essays
Utopia (Moore)
The Gift: The Erotic Life of Property

Double Features (movies to be watched as pairs

Passion of the Christ & Life of Brian
Groundhog Day & Groundhog Day
The Point & Wizards
Holy Man & Leap of Faith
Brazil & Dr. Strangelove
Dark Star & Caveman
Delicatessen & Soylent Green
They Might Be Giants & Don Juan de Marco

Upon completion of this stage, the postulant will have earned the title "Priest/ess of Eris and Lord/Lady of the Shattered Universe" and be addressed by the term "Sweeper [yournamehere]." If an approved academic plan has also been completed, the Priest/ess may also be acknowledged a Doctor of Discordian Theology: DDT.

A postulant may use any or all of his/her earned titles for official paperwork, or may receive a different title from Eris herself & petition the council to have it recognized. Upon acceptance to the program, the postulant may petition the council to be formally ordained as a minister-in-training, able to assist with or officiate at any religious services which are performed under the auspices of the Church. It is assumed that trainees will seek guidance from their mentors and/or the council for any services with which they are unfamiliar or unskilled. The council may accept the petition, request a period of residency in a Discordian Cabal, or reject the petition outright. If accepted, the postulant receives Nifty Sheet of Paper describing his/her achievement and the right to be considered "clergy" by whatever governments acknowledge such statuses.

Feedback welcome. Complaints welcome, although I've probably thought through most of the obvious ones. ("This is all too organized" will be ignored. Not my problem if my chaos appears too orderly for you.) The Goal: I want a clergy training program that's suitable for convincing the U.S. gov't that this is/could be a real, legitimate seminary, and people it ordains are qualified to be prison chaplains, army chaplains, and Discordian Advisor to the City Council, and so on.

Complaints about content are more than welcome. Complaints of essential omissions also welcome; recs for further studies actively solicited. Tell me what *you* think Discordian clergy should read and do.

fifthtrinity @ 2005-02-08T16:13:00

2005-02-08T21:16:11Z

I posted, but livejournal ate my post. So, here I am again! I can help you with webpages if you need - I'm good at PHP/MySQL. K that was all thx bye.

Rabbit? What Rabbit?

2005-01-04T00:53:52Z

January 27th is the birthday of Lewis Carrol, author of ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. Alice fell down a rabbit hole into a place where everything had changed and none of the rules could be counted on to apply anymore.

I say, let's do the same: January 27th, 2005 should be the First Annual LiveJournal Rabbit Hole Day. When you post on that Thursday, instead of the normal daily life and work and news and politics, write about the strange new world you have found yourself in for the day, with its strange new life and work and news and politics.

Are your pets talking back at you now? Has your child suddenly grown to full adulthood? Does everyone at work think you're someone else now? Did Bush step down from the White House to become a pro-circuit tap-dancer? Did Zoroastrian missionaries show up on your doorstep with literature in 3-D? Have you been placed under house arrest by bizarre insectoid women wielding clubs made of lunchmeat?

Let's have a day where nobody's life makes sense anymore, where any random LJ you click on will bring you some strange new tale. Let's all fall down the Rabbit Hole for 24 hours and see what's there. It will be beautiful.

This only works if you spread the word, so get it out there!

This was not my idea, much as I would love to take credit for it.

Better News About Norton, First of that Name

2004-12-18T22:24:00Z

What the council doesn't want, other's do...

Please be sure to let SF Mayor Gary Newsom know how important it is to respect Our Imperial History.

Let Mayor Gavin Newsom know that the Imperial History of the United States is important!

Contact the Mayor

Mayor Gavin Newsom

City Hall, Room 200
1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Place
San Francisco, CA 94102

Telephone: (415) 554-6141
TDD: (415) 252-3107
Fax: (415) 554-6160
Email: gavin.newsom@sfgov.org

fifthtrinity @ 2004-12-16T18:34:00

2004-12-16T23:33:35Z

I'm sure you remember the recent story regarding the renaming of the San Francisco Bay Bridge for the man who first proposed it be built. Well, it seems that Oakland, particularly the City councilors, aren't feeling like going along. They believe him merely to be a historical homeless man, a figure of no consequence of importance.

They should be educated as to the folly of their disrespect for our beloved Emperor. But how? Here's how:

From the city of Oakland website, email addresses from those who need to know about Emperor Norton, the man who proposed the Bay Bridge in the first place...

Roland E. Smith, City Auditor: resmith@oaklandnet.com
Deborah Edgerly, City Administrator: cityadministrator@oaklandnet.com
Nancy Nadel, District 3: nnadel@oaklandnet.com
Henry Chang, At-Large: cityochang@aol.com
Desley Brooks, District 6: dbrooks@oaklandnet.com
Danny Wan, District 2: dwan@oaklandnet.com
Larry Reid, District 7: lreid@oaklandnet.com
John Russo, City Attourney: jrusso@oaklandcityattourney.org
Jean Quan, district 4: jquan@oaklandnet.com
Ceda Floyd, City Clerk: cityclerk@oaklandnet.com
Jerry Brown, Mayor: officeofthemayor@oaklandnet.com
Jane Brunner, District 1: jbrunner@oaklandnet.com
Ignacio De La Fuente, District 5: idelafuente@oaklandnet.com

I propose a jake, a mass emailing to these individuals to persuade them that the Emperor deserves his due.

>>>>>crossposted like madness

Discordian Creed

2004-12-04T22:39:40Z

We are a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns and similar maniacs who are intrigued with Eris, Goddess of Confusion, and her doings.

We believe She sent visions to Her chosen emissaries, later known as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, which led them to record the sacred scripture, the Principia Discordia.

The principles of our faith are contained within the Principia, but for those whose Eris-given insight doesn’t find it sufficient, we recognize that several other scriptures contain portions of Her holy message.

We believe Eris speaks to each person individually, and guides his or her actions toward her goals, which are incomprehensible to humankind.

We believe some persons are more adept than others are recognizing Eris’ voice, and we accord those persons the respect due their holy status.

We attempt to understand Eris’ message as expressed through all that exists. We attempt to bring understanding of Eris’ message to others.

We believe that all things are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.

Feel free to share widely or delete from your harddrive. Feedback welcome; I intend to inflict this on the IRS along with other backround details of Discordianism.

YES!

2004-11-27T02:35:53Z

(Crossposted to various places.)

'Tis the season to consume.

So the perfect way to cause a little chaos, and maybe protest a little...
Walk through a mall, very slowly.
It results in exchanges like this:

Security: You have to stop that or I'll have to remove you.
Us: Stop what?
Security: What you are doing.
Us: What are we doing?
Security: You are creating a spectacle.
Us: How are we creating a spectacle?
Security: Well... uh... you are walking slowly.
Us: We can't walk slowly?
Security: No.
Us [pointing to an elderly person moving across the mall very slowly]: Well, what about her? She's moving very slowly.
Security: No, she's moving at the appropriate speed -- you are moving too slowly.
Us: Can you show us what is the appropriate speed? I mean, how slowly can we walk and still remain in the mall?
Security [getting flustered]: No, you simply have to leave the mall. Leave the mall or I will call the police to remove you.

(Conversation stolen from a magazine article, but I don't remember which one.)

Escape Now! Marry a Canadian!!!!!!

2004-11-04T10:03:52Z

Ladies and gentlemen,
drop your borders
When the provisional Ohio votes are counted and if George W. Bush is re-elected, single, sexy, American liberals - already a threatened species - will be desperate to escape.
These lonely, afraid (did we mention really hot?) progressives will need a safe haven.
You can help. Open your heart, and your home. Marry an American. Legions of Canadians have already pledged to sacrifice their singlehood to save our southern neighbours from four more years of cowboy conservatism.
Marry an American >>

Posted to their Comments:

As a Discordian American, who is utterly sickened by the state this country has fallen to, I would like to praise your beautifully chaotic attempt to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I hereby Grant the title of Pope, to you and everyone in your organization, and, as that will allow you to marry the Americans to the Canadians yourselves, this should speed the whole process up. You may view, and or print out your Official, and Authorized by the House of Apostles of Eris, Pope Cards here: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/book/43.php

fifthtrinity @ 2004-10-21T13:06:00

2004-10-21T22:26:17Z

Well I wanted to join the Sixth Trinity Church o' Eris, but as usual it looks like I am just ahead of my time so this will have to do I suppose.