Acting Like a Man [July 01, 2009 @ 12:32pm] angryjanedoe xposted to vaginapagina  I dressed up as a man once.  I bound my breasts, put on a moustache, and walked without moving my hips.  With a high femme friend, I took the subway to a drag king show, where I made a date with the runner up.  Other than that, I've lived as a woman.  It's ironic, then, that when I create a manifesta on OKC with my breasts as a userpic, I get asked repeatedly if I'm really just "acting like a man."  I get the question, I think: If I'm switching roles by sleeping around, then am I guilty of the same behavior I'm criticizing?  The answer to that question is no. After my first casual fuck, I went over to my confidante's house.  "I did it," I told her.  "I can do it." I didn't just mean that I could disengage sex from romantic relationships.  I meant that I proved to myself that I could do so ethically.  It wasn't easy to be ethical: I recognized the desire to dress up fucking with romantic kink and indulge in a fantasy of leaving my awful single life behind.  It was so tempting to whisper a lot of sweet bullshit into his ear, to sleep over, to let him think there would be more.  I also recognized the urge to flee, to blow him off, to sever all ties in the hopes I could avoid any awkward feelings.  But I refused to give in to those urges, so I know it's possible to do.  That night, I felt an odd mixture of condemnation and forgiveness for the men who pushed me to this choice: I understood how powerful the urge is to act like a cowardly jerk, but I also knew it was possible to resist the temptation.  That night, I decided to write this manifesta, because I hoped that other men might also resist the urge to act like Jack in Sideways and the man who was my last straw.  Then I wanted to find them and fuck them.  There are also faulty assumptions behind the question about "acting like a man."  The assumptions are both sexist and anti-male.   I object to whispering sweet bullshit into women's ears to get sex.  I object to being too lazy or clueless to figure out what you want and too dishonest to admit that you don't know what you want.  I object to men being clueless, callous cowards, because I know there's another way.  I don't object to men (and women) wanting to have sex. I don't object to casual sex.  I also don't think that doing those things = "acting like a man."  Equating having casual sex with "acting like a man" is sexist.  The suggestion that I'm "acting like a man" is also based on the assumption that you can simply interchange male and female behavior in the first place.  Doing so ignores the fact that male and female sexuality are regulated very differently in our culture.  Women aren't supposed to seek out and enjoy sex with multiple partners.  They're supposed to be selective with their mates.  They're supposed to barter sex for emotional security,  romantic love, and domesticity.  Men are supposed to avoid this trap at all costs.  According to this logic, I can never act "like a man" because we already have a term for a woman who acts like I do: slut.  I wonder, then, if calling my slutty behavior "acting like a man" reflects a desire to regulate my sexuality.  The question implies that I should stop what I'm doing because I'm guilty of transgression.   It also assumes that "acting like a man" means acting like a jackass, which is profoundly anti-man.  I don't think man should = jackass.  I don't think one gender has cornered the market on bad behavior.  I do think men have cornered the market on this particular type of bad behavior. I'd like to consign the phrase "acting like a man" to the dustbin of pre-feminist history.  Instead, I'd like to see more people act as ethically as this slut tries to do.  I'd like the world to decide that the only person who needs to regulate slutty behavior is the slut him- or herself.  And if I find that man who really acts like a slut in the best possible way, maybe I'll whisper sweet truths into his ear, and maybe I'll sleep over, and maybe I'll let myself imagine romantic love and emotional security, and maybe I'll let him know there can be more, and maybe I'll invite him to join me in making it up as we go along. And then I'll wrap one long leg around his waist and press my other calf against his shoulder and beg him to fuck me into sweetness and delight.  post comment

Consent in SM and Sideways [June 26, 2009 @ 6:25pm] angryjanedoe x-posted from my own journal.  I met a man in a bar who told me he was in an abusive relationship. His girlfriend was beating him, throwing him down stairs, locking him in the basement, and burning him. He was afraid to go back because he thought that she would kill him. Then I noticed that while we were talking, he was rubbing his dick and I realized that telling me about the abuse was part of his kinky fantasy. Having me believe the story made his fantasy more pleasurably real, but it also made him a jackass. ( the rest of the story ) Read (6) post comment

Carol Queen & Nina Hartley [May 28, 2009 @ 4:38am] cacophonicpulse Is anyone here going north of I-81 to D.C. for The State of Sex: Sex and Freedom in the Obama Era with Carol Queen & Nina Hartley? I really want to go, but I don't have a ride. I can pitch in for gas. I live in Blacksburg, Virginia. post comment

[May 13, 2009 @ 10:06am] tabari I live in Rhode Island, the only state in the USA in which indoor prostitution is currently decriminalized. However, this may be about to change: a bill has been written and has already passed the state senate and house judiciary committees which would make indoor prostitution illegal and punishable for both clients and prostitutes by prison sentences and substantial fines. Clauses are written into the bill to protect victims of sex trafficking (largely due to the efforts of University of Rhode Island professor and sex trafficking activist Donna Hughes) but members of this community are undoubtedly aware of how meager those protections would actually turn out to be - many of the victims of sex trafficking in Rhode Island are immigrant women from East Asia, and so of course they are in danger from the law as well as from the "massage parlors" which generally advertise their services. ( And, of course, there's the simple fact that society hates prostitutes. ) Read (3) post comment

Kink-friendly resources for teens? [April 22, 2009 @ 12:08pm] vinnie_tesla I'm getting ready to update my personal site for the first time in several years. In the time since I last dis so, I've found out that the owner of Scarleteen, the otherwise-admirable Heather Corinna, is convinced that kinky people are broken. So. If anyone knows of a similar site that will not scold young people with dominant or submissive fantasies for their "woman-hatred," I'd love to offer a link to that instead. Read (2) post comment

Sorry to disappoint, but yes I'm black [April 05, 2009 @ 6:25pm] bizarresally [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | I'm Me - Lil Wayne ] Why??? Why do people always have to make reference to me being 'black'... Yes I fucking know I'm not stupid, its not like I woke up one morning and discovered that I was a little darker than usual. I am so amazed at peoples blatant ignorance.  GRRRRRR!! Read (6) post comment

Tonight @ CineKink... 'Wanton Female Desire' !!! [February 27, 2009 @ 9:12am] lisavnyc CineKink NYC presents… Friday, February 27 - 9:00 PM "Wanton Female Desire" (Shorts Program) What is it that a woman wants? Most of the answers are infinitely varied, but the shorts in this celebration of female pleasure will help guide you in one generally appropriate direction. Program includes: ( Read more... ) ABOUT CINEKINK NYC Billing itself as "the really alternative film festival," CineKink NYC returns for its sixth annual appearance February 24-March 1, 2009, to be followed by a national showcase tour. Presented by CineKink, an organization dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television, works featured at CineKink range from documentary to drama, camp comedy to hot porn, mildly spicy to quite explicit - and everything in between. For more information, visit http://www.cinekink.com post comment

Maybe what women want is sex journalism that doesn't suck. [January 27, 2009 @ 12:37am] vinnie_tesla Man, we haven't seen anything here in aaaaages. Here, let me crosspost something relevant from my journal. "My research has found that people who identify as scientists are genetically predisposed to be assholes." --mme_louise There's a paradox to studying difference--whenever you argue for difference between two categories, you are arguing for similarity within those categories. When you hold forth on how cats are different from dogs, you are implying that cats are like cats and dogs are like dogs; that is to say, that the differences between the categories is more significant than the differences within the categories. Okay. Now. The cover story in the New York Times Magazine this Sunday, by Daniel Bergner is entitled What Do Women Want? The tagline on the cover reads: "A postfeminist generation of researchers is discovering things Dr. Freud could never have imagined." So. Being no more a postfeminist than a postantiracist or a postnonhomophobe, I confess I was bristling before I even opened the magazine. If you've ever looked at my journal, you pretty much know the broad outline of what happens from here-- Wind up a Vinnie Tesla doll, and it ( complains about the mass media's treatment of gender and sexuality ) Read (12) post comment

[November 03, 2008 @ 4:21pm] tofuwink Hey. I am interested in started a zine called ' Our manifesto'. The zine will be an empowering forum where women with disabilities can discuss issues relating to our lives - such as sex, image, motherhood, sexuality, education;etc. and protest agaisnt oppressive societal norms relating to the issue. I use the term 'disability' as an all inclusive term - meaning, (but not limited to) physical, mental, and emotional disability; learning disabilitys; mental illness; etc.The zine will be creative in nature, accepting art, collages, photography, poetry, prose, fiction, etc.Would anyone like to help with the management, etc. of the zine? (I have never put one together before. Looking forward to feedback Thanks Ava Read (3) post comment

Sexy International Film Festival - Perth! [October 17, 2008 @ 1:04am] naked_wrat The Sexy International Film Festival has moved on from Melbourne, next stop is Perth! I've written a review of two of the movies that I saw in Melbourne that will also be at the Perth showing. You can find the article at the Pleasure Activism Australia website http://pleasureactivism.org/review_5.html Sexy International Film Festival is showing for two nights only whilst in Perth on the 17th and 18th of October 2008. Cinema in a Cave 24 View Street, North Perth. (Intersection of Leake Street) x-posted post comment

[October 08, 2008 @ 8:49pm] naked_wrat I recently went to see a great cabaret show called 'La Petite Mort - The Orgasm' as part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival. I've written a review which you can find at the Pleasure Activism Australia website. It was great to see such a fun yet informative show which made one think about female sexuality. Anyone else been to anything similar that they can recommend? post comment

Sex toy parties: Taking the sex out of sex toys [September 26, 2008 @ 9:36pm] naked_wrat Reading the article Risque business: sex toy parties take off, the thing that really struck me was how sex-avoidant the parties seem to be.... Read more at Pleasure Activism Australia website Read (5) post comment

Ready to Submit?!? [September 22, 2008 @ 11:53am] lisavnyc Call for Entries - CineKink NYC/2009 CineKink NYC - "the really alternative film festival" - is seeking films and videos, of any length and genre, that explore and celebrate the wide diversity of sexuality. Dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television, we're looking to blur some boundaries and will be considering offerings drawn from both Hollywood and beyond, with works ranging from documentary to drama, camp comedy to hot porn, mildly spicy to quite explicit - and everything in between. ( Read more... ) post comment

Save "Bitch" magazine! [September 16, 2008 @ 3:25am] sarahbliss X-posted. BITCH Magazine! Please donate to "Bitch" magazine! They need 40 grand by October. We've already lost so many magazines- ROCKRGRL, LiP. Kitchen Sink, Stay Free, and a host of other independent mags that seemed to be flourishing! And I am sad about the loss of every one of them. After they disappeared, I learned of their losses...not via my local magazine shop/bookstore owner, but via an article in "Bitch" magazine! "Bitch" has offered the ultimate in feminism. Offering USEFUL articles by/for/about girls and women. From its letters to the editor, to the last page, dubbed "Annals" (usually concerning retro examples of pop culture, which is always fun), "Bitch" is responsible for some of the most important, tenacious, humorous, and insightful culture commentary magazines articles in history. Everyone from bloggers to bell hooks have had their works published in "Bitch" for over ten years. Everything from women of color in the tech sector to women who are into sci-fi conventions have been covered, plus articles that focus on racism, music by women, and mommyhood are covered on a consistent basis. Within the first year I read it, there were spreads on the green movement, voter fraud against women, female comedians, and how the threat of terrorism is biased against women. Articles about women in politics to women in the comic book industry to women in Palestine. All without those annoying full-page ads for stuff that makes a woman feel like she isn't enough without said product being advertised to her. All donations to "Bitch" are tax deductible, and it is a non-profit organization! As we women know, this is the type of publication we cannot afford to lose. I save my issues for my potential future children, and they are especially precious to me to refer to in today's political and social climate. Please donate whatever you can. Countless authors, musicians, movies, artists, news, and political information that flies under the radar but is so necessary to know if you're a woman has been offered up on the pages of "Bitch". Babeland, Lunapads, Essence, Etsy, and $pread have all been but a few of the must-haves in my life that have been inttroduced to me because of "bitch" magazine. Read (1) post comment

Porn, shame and the matriarchy [July 01, 2008 @ 12:05am] cheshire_bitten Gail Dines and her anti porn slide show infuriate me.    ( Read more... ) Cross posted to my journal pleasureact Read (2) post comment

Web sites with Australian erotica / porn? - Xposted [May 19, 2008 @ 8:03pm] naked_wrat Please forward to all your networks! ---------- Hi everyone, i'm currently looking for Web sites with Australian-produced erotica / porn - in particular, stuff which is (pro-)feminist and pro-diversity in terms of body size / shape, ability, gender, sexual orientation, etc. - to add to the 'Erotica' section of the Pleasure Activism Australia Web site: http://pleasureactivism.org/erotica.html Any ideas? If so, let me know! i'd love to hear from you. :-) Please send your recommendations / suggestions to myself at: alexis@pleasureactivism.org Thanks! Alexis Hazell Web site administrator Pleasure Activism Australia Read (4) post comment

legality of burlesque [May 02, 2008 @ 3:50pm] ladyofannwn [ mood | anxious ] Hi everyone, My college burlesque troupe is putting on our first show tonight, and the local cops have threatened arrest. We're being quite careful already about concealing our naughty bits, but we're in New York State, where as far as I know it's completely legal to walk around topless. As far as I'm concerned this is all BS, though I'm not sure why they're trying to scare us in this uber liberal college town. I'm not in charge, so I'm not directly in the loop of whats going on. Can anyone suggest any resources I can find online as far as the legality of a show that involves stripping, but no nudity? It would be great to have some firm knowledge to back us up should they try to pull something. Thanks!! **Just got word that it was resolved! Our people knew the law better than they did and apparently they were nice about it, too. : ) Read (3) post comment

Australian GLBTI Mardi Gras this Saturday: SEX WORKERS AND SUPPORTERS FLOAT - all the info you need! [February 26, 2008 @ 11:32am] princessebee [ mood | crazy ] Hi there beautiful cats and kittens!! Here is ALL the information you will need for the sex worker float in this Saturday's triumphant GLBTI QUEER MARDI GRAS MARCH! Yay! Please read through this CAREFULLY as it contains IMPORTANT info!!!! And feel free to distribute it widely throughout your friends and networkers - remember, ALL sex workers and supporters are welcome and encouraged to join us! Ok a couple of FAN FACTS first: * This is the biggest parade EVER. They are at ABSOLUTE CAPACITY with 10,000 people marching! Holy cow! * This is the world's largest nighttime parade * If you lined up all the entrants (150) it would be about 4.6km in length! * Although the parade starts at 8.00pm the floats at the end of the parade won't leave their position in "Start" until 10.00pm! (don't worry we're not at the end!) * The audience will be over 150,000 people. Now, the sex worker float is in Block E. So, not too far from the start at all. Block A departs at 7.45pm so, if all goes to plan we should start marching around 8.30 - 9.00pm. Here is what you MUST KNOW. * Our colour theme is red and we will be carrying red umbrellas which have become an international symbol of sex worker rights. Please bring a red brolley or two (one to share) and carrying red banners. When there is a large collection of umbrellas it's a pretty impressive sight - and the bigger the brolley the more of us there appear to be! Sex worker organisations are welcome to bring their own banners. Touching Base will be marching (and rolling) with us. * We are meeting from 3.00pm at Scarlet Alliance HQ: 349 CROWN STREET, SURRY HILLS, CNR ALBION AND CROWN. This will give you an opportunity to get ready, chat and make friends, and get "in the mood". We have accessible facilities on the ground floor at this premises. * We MUST be in our "Start" position by 5.30PM. We will therefore be leaving Scarlet Alliance HQ between 4.45pm and 5.00pm and walking down to the parade start area. Please arrive at Scarlet Alliance HQ no later than 4.45pm. WHY IS THAT SO IMPORTANT? * Without a wrist band, you WILL NOT be permitted by Mardi Gras officials into the Start area to join us. We will be giving out the wrist bands at Scarlet HQ at 4.30pm. Remember: no wristband, no marching! * We will be in our start position for about four hours. There are toilet facilities, including accessible toilets (but not many of those unfortunately) but please bring plenty of food and drink (including water). We do not have a float, so you will not be able to store anything on the back of it, so please don't bring anything you don't want to carry the 4 or 5 kms the parade runs for. * On the subject of stilettos: twice now I have done a parade march in five-inch stiletto heels and lemme tell ya: it's MOIDER. Make sure your stiletto heels have a platform, or choose more "sensible" (totally subjective term) footwear. Believe me, you WILL remove them at the end of the march and then your fabulous outfit will be ruined by the absence of footwear. I can proudly say I made it to the end of both marches, but collapsed immediately. (Or wear a fabulously decorated backpack to pack your heels to be pulled out 15 mins before departure!) * Compliance checks begin at 5.30pm. Mardi Gras are VERY strict about this and say those who disobey the rules will be KICKED OUT and not permitted to march. Therefore, PLEASE DO NOT BRING: - Flammables and explosives of ANY type (cigarette lighters excepted) - Pets/animals (seriously) - Anything of dubious legality you can't secrete on your person Now, since Scarlet HQ is very close to the parade area, traffic will probably be heavy. It might be better to take a cab, or use public transport, where possible, rather than fight for a parking spot. However, if something terrible happens and you are unable to make it to Scarlet HQ before 4.45pm, you can contact one of the following people: Janelle - 0411 985 135 Elena - 0401 317 102 Elise - 0413 723 205 (that's yours truly) New Mardi Gras are doing the parade a little differently this year. Since it is impossible to see when you are marching, here's a little outline. - The Dykes on Bikes will kick off as usual, but then they will go to the back of the parade and ride through again. - Usually they begin the parade with the biggest float. This year they are kicking it off with the '78ers', those who were there for the first Mardi Gras (in 1978 hence the 78'ers). Then the floats will gradually get bigger and bigger, capping off with an absolute spectacular! - Margaret Cho is the Chief of Parade this year! Please see the attached document for a run down of this info and the privacy notice. Any questions, feel free to call one of the three people listed above! HAPPY MARDI GRAS AND SEE YOU THERE! LOVE AND KISSES, SQUIGGLES AND SNORES ELISE/E THE BEE/PRINCESS BEE Read (2) post comment

"Girls taught to value sex over achievement and intelligence" [December 10, 2007 @ 10:40pm] iwasborntofly [ mood | contemplative ]   Girls taught to value sex over achievement and intelligence MALCOLM LAW TEENAGE girls would rather be sexy than clever, according to a new book which blames celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears for the phenomenon. Carol Platt Liebau, a leading political commentator in the US and the first female managing editor of Harvard Law Review, warned young women were being taught to believe "sexy" equates to empowered. The author said "promiscuity and sexual aggression" were now being seen as the only way to achieve admiration. And she suggested girls now competed for attention based on how much they were sexually willing to do for boys. Women's groups last night also warned that the sexualisation of young girls was making them increasingly vulnerable. Ms Liebau's book, Prude: How The Sex- Obsessed Culture Damages Girls, blames the music and videos of Spears, Aguilera and Lil' Kim, as well as films such as Cruel Intentions, for making teenagers value sexuality above all else. She said: "The overwhelming lesson teenagers are now learning from the world around them is that being 'sexy' is the ultimate accolade, trumping intelligence, character and all other accomplishments. In a culture that celebrates Paris Hilton [and] thong underwear, there's scant modesty or achievement that isn't coupled with sex appeal. Girls are being led to believe that they're in control when it comes to sexual relationships. "But they're actually living in a profoundly anti-feminist landscape where girls compete for attention on the basis of how much they are sexually willing to do for the boys. And living in an overly sexualised culture takes a toll on girls." A spokeswoman for Rape Crisis Scotland said the sale of products such as junior pole-dancing kits was particularly concerning. She said: "We are concerned about the over-sexualisation of children and the effect it has on women and girls' self-esteem. Young women do experience a lot of pressure to have sex." A spokeswoman for Scottish Women Against Pornography said: "It's setting young women and girls up as targets. It's a backlash to any sense of women's achievement. The idea that this is sexual liberation is just re-branding the same oppression." Phillip Hodson, a fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy in London, said the influence of TV, the media and Hollywood had made society more focused on personal appearance. But he added: "I think the problem is exaggerated. Nature wishes you to breed, so sexuality has always been there. What's wrong with being intelligent and taking care of yourself? But if you are just trading on your sexuality, the big question is what are you going to do when you lose your looks?" • Prude: How The Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls is released later this month. PARIS HILTON: ONLINE NOTORIETY AND A JAIL TERM PARIS Hilton shot to fame when her home-made sex video appeared on the internet. The hotel dynasty heiress has since fronted various TV shows. She was jailed earlier this year for driving under the influence of alcohol. She has also feuded publicly with the actress Lindsay Lohan. BRITNEY'S CONTROVERSIAL KISS-OFF BRITNEY Spears, whose first taste of the limelight came on the wholesome Mickey Mouse Club, has never been far from controversy in recent years. She locked lips with Madonna at an awards show in 2003 and was snapped without any pants on before losing custody of her two children earlier this year. AGUILERA'S DIRRTY MOVE CHRISTINA Aguilera's "girl next door" image vanished as she was transformed into a raunchy singer in the video for the 2002 hit single Dirrty. She has been hailed for "making pregnancy sexy" after posing with her naked bump for a magazine. LIL' KIM: X-RATED LYRICS, OUTRAGEOUS OUTFITS LIL' Kim is best known in the UK for performing on the Moulin Rouge soundtrack hit Lady Marmalade in 2001 alongside Christina Aguilera. Her songs have achieved notoriety for their X-rated and sexually upfront lyrics and her outrageous outfits have raised eyebrows. How much blame can be placed on the media? Should we also be looking at the home and school environments? Is their value and empowerment in claiming - or reclaiming - your own sexuality if you're a teenage girl as opposed to a "grown" woman?   Read (11) post comment

International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers: Red Umbrella Event [December 06, 2007 @ 5:08pm] princessebee The official date is 17th December, but since we'll have a bunch of out of town sex workers in Sydney on the 13th, we decided to do it then. Instead of focusing JUST on the old demonising-clients victimising-workers stance that always takes precedence to the detriment of other, equally as important, issues, this year our focus is to be on other forms of violence, e.g.: the violence that comes from discrimination, unfair legislation, denial of basic human rights. It is all these factors that actually create the environment in which physically and sexually violent people target sex workers. SO. PLEASE COME AND SHOW YOUR SUPPORT, OPEN TO SEX WORKERS AND OUR SUPPORTERS. 4.45 for a 5pm start, Thursday 13th December 2006,  Local Council and Shires Association, corner of 28 Margaret Street Sydney,  corner of Margaret and York Street, 50 metres from Wynyard Train Station. THIS IS A HIGHLY PUBLIC, PROMINENT PLACE IN THE CBD and will be taking place at peak hour as people start heading home or out for late night shopping! If identity is a concern to you, please feel free to wear a mask, or other disguisng clothing. Sex workers and supporters in NSW are holding an end of year protest against the unfair brothel closures that local councils have led in NSW, thanks to the laws introduced by the Iemma Government in July this year. Many Local Councils in NSW have discriminatory planning policies that make it impossible for the sex industry premises to be compliant. These Local Councils more recently have taken the extra step of enacting the new brothel closure orders against brothels, on the basis of complaints from larger brothel owners. It gives councils the power to: - shut off water - shut off electricity - evict people with no notice - do all these things based on one complaint and is a violation of basic human rights! To register 'legally' as a brothel, the cost is prohibitive (over $20,000) and illogical planning policies make it difficult for small business to comply. Larger brothels who can afford the fees then target the smaller places. Under NSW legislation, an independent worker is defined as a 'brothel'; meaning large brothels can also eliminate this sort of competition by making complaints against independent workers. MOST INDEPENDENT WORKERS DO NOT WANT A BIG YELLOW SIGN ON THEIR FRONT DOOR STATING THEIR INTENT TO RUN A SEX BUSINESS, AS COUNCIL CURRENTLY REQUIRES! There have already been several cases of council workers demanding bribes or sexual favours in exchange for looking the other way!!!!  The closures are anti-competition, anti-sex worker, and are the worst case of state sanctioned violence against the sex industry in Australia. Stop State Sanctioned Violence Against Sex Workers Carry a red umbrella for the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers We demand local council policy INCLUDE the sex industry, and stop discriminating against sex workers We demand an end to anti-competition collusion by local councils - stop the corruption erruption! Wear red, bring an umbrella and see ya there!   Read (4) post comment

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