Random Scribblings ([info]frightened) wrote in [info]feminist_rage,
@ 2008-02-27 10:43:00
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Current mood: annoyed
Current music:'Take the Money' - Carina Round

Goddamn patriarchal programming
I try to be a good little radical feminist. Smash the patriarchy, yeah. Who needs boys when there's Lisa around. And then, growing up in a fundamentally sexist environment, you still get those bits of programming coming through to eat your brain.

See, when I was heading back from karate (don't get excited: I'm not very badass and there isn't gonna be a fight scene) with a friend on Thursday night, I saw a couple having an argument of some kind, and the guy had the girl pinned against a shopfront, and she was crying. So I stopped and asked, "Are you alright there, bab?" and when the guy said "she's fine", I caught her eye and asked again, "Are you?" (She seemed to be. I'm not sure. They went their separate ways and he wasn't violent towards her in our presence, anyway.)

But just to do that much, I had to shout down this voice in my head saying "it's private, you shouldn't interfere." Goddamn patriarchal programming!


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[info]revelininsanity
2008-02-27 12:46 pm UTC (link)
I think you did the right thing. You need to be safe first, before you can help other people and you never know when someone's going to be more badass than you, patriarchal programming or not.*hugs*

...

I would have suggested calling the police, but the last time my family tried that, it worked out not so great. Apparently thirty metres out of town was out of their jurisdiction.

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[info]lost_angelwings
2008-02-27 08:31 pm UTC (link)
he had her PINNED AGAINST A SHOPFRONT and she was crying!? :OOO

i think you def did the right thing! >:O i hope she is okay tho :(

i rly do share your rage about our society telling us that this stuff is "private" and that it's not our business... worse yet that when this stuff happens, the first thought in my mind is "I wish there was a guy around to stop it" b/c we're always told and shown on tv and stuff that it's guys playing the heroes in these situations, not women :\

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[info]in_sects
2008-02-27 09:55 pm UTC (link)
you did the right thing! it's inspiring. =)

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[info]devan_louise
2008-02-27 10:31 pm UTC (link)
way to fuckin go, girl! i think i would've been too afraid. youre courage is so inspiring. :]

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[info]seeinglife
2008-02-28 01:01 am UTC (link)
Ugh, the same programming that I find in myself pisses me off so much, too. But a huge round of applause for you shouting that voice down!

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[info]tayefeth
2008-02-28 01:56 am UTC (link)
I found one of my students pinning a girl against a wall and kissing her while she told him to get off her. I bawled him out, and I'm going to write him up to the Deans. You know what his defense was? He was only kissing her on the cheek. Because, you know, a girl's cheeks aren't actually hers to control...

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[info]familydog
2008-02-28 11:41 am UTC (link)
i also think you did the right thing, for what it's worth. braking the cycle of silence we are taught to keep is often the hardest part. but social policing - be it a reaction from a stranger on the street - works, and is very affective, for better and for worse. the cycle of silence works both ways too, as we speak up, more people speak up...

personally, i tend to interfere, but at times i find it problematic being "the guy saving the girl from the other guy cause she can't do it herself" (altough it can have a stronger social policing effect on the other guy), so i'm not so sure what to do about that.

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