Jocelyn ([info]jocelynxheart) wrote in [info]feminist_101,
@ 2008-02-24 20:49:00
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This struck an odd note with me...

While internet browsing today, I came across this: http://www.cafepress.com/notafeminist
Does anyone else find it a bit... I don't know... insulting?  Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't choice to do what you enjoy regardless of your gender part of feminism?  As in, if you enjoy cooking you should be able to cook, if you enjoy computer science you should be able to go to school and study it (and not receive different treatement in the classroom / less pay or respect in the workforce) just because you don't have a penis.  Isn't it?  Maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of this... but sometimes I get frustrated by exactly this sort of mentality (that to enjoy cooking to to be other than feminist by definition) and spawns comments like "I would never be a feminist, I like it when boys hold open doors for me".  The line "For those women who enjoy the perks of being female, cooking, baking, tending to husbands, and being good wives and moms" is so loaded.  Not only does it point blank call cooking and taking care of husbands the "perks of being female" (which is decidedly limiting), but (and this is the part that gets me) it suggests that feminists just don't make good wives and mothers.   Anyways, what do the rest of you think? 


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[info]assemble
2008-02-25 07:46 am UTC (link)
I completely agree with you. And I think the whole idea that a feminist has to dislike "conventional" female activities and roles not only hurts our cause by stopping women who happen to enjoy those things from relating to feminism, but is also just as oppressive as the idea that women should *only* fill those roles. Both systems try to dictate womens' behavior and limit individual choice and expression.

(That said, the 'this is what a subordinate wife looks like' slogan there irks me, and I don't really think that particular attitude is something that can be reconciled with feminism. But, like I said, I may just be projecting my idea of feminism onto everybody else, so...)

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[info]lick_your_heart
2008-02-25 11:28 am UTC (link)
"this is what a subordinate wife looks like" ?? yuck. yuck. who would wear that? it's not even funny? it just seems...demeaning

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[info]jocelynxheart
2008-02-25 05:14 pm UTC (link)
head-desk. I didn't even notice that one. (Truthfully, I was caught up in the page description and the "I like to cook" sentiment.)

And , no, that particular attitude isn't likely one that can be reconciled with feminism, you're right. Does this mean that people equate subordinate wives with good wives?

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[info]lick_your_heart
2008-02-26 12:14 am UTC (link)
i dunno, i mean, it seems like purely a feminist backlash tshirt, but i can't imagine a man ever wearing it... so, i guess yes. or maybe they just equate subordinate wives with good people?

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[info]rosehiptea
2008-02-25 06:14 pm UTC (link)
I didn't know that "not baking cookies" was even a stereotype of feminists. (I mean, it would be dumb and untrue... but I didn't know people even thought that one. I don't think I'd have understood it if I hadn't seen the blurb at the top.)

But if someone really wants to advertise the fact that they're a "subordinate wife" that's... their deal I guess. (It sounds really demeaning to me too though.)

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[info]jocelynxheart
2008-02-25 06:28 pm UTC (link)
*loves baking cookies*.
Dammit! My feminism must be weak! lol.

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[info]ghost_dance
2008-02-25 06:31 pm UTC (link)
My question is, who the hell would buy a "Subordinate Wife" t-shirt? THAT is insulting. In my opinion, a marriage is a partnership, not a master/servant set up.

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[info]jocelynxheart
2008-02-25 06:35 pm UTC (link)
Indeed. It seems like the women who would use the term "subordinate wife" are also likely to be the women who have serious problems with being expected to be a "subordinate wife", but perhaps I give people too much credit.

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[info]assemble
2008-02-26 06:04 am UTC (link)
who the hell would buy a "Subordinate Wife" t-shirt?

I know a few people. I used to be a part of my local church ('used to' being the very, very important part of that sentence) and there the term 'subordinate wife' is bandied around endlessly as an ideal, by both men and women. One of the *many* reasons I decided to leave.

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[info]ghost_dance
2008-02-25 06:32 pm UTC (link)
Also, the design on the shirts is god awful. I mean CURLZ? Seriously?

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[info]i_muse
2008-02-27 03:45 pm UTC (link)
well, the truth is, the perks of being female is not limiting...we can do it all, maybe not all at once.
Men can not do it all, they don't birth humans....that essential difference freaks people out it seems....

Men and women can nurture, we know that, it's been proven time and again...just as men and women can choose not to be nurturing- also proven time and again.
Sexuality and gender do not determine these things- proven proven proven...

Women who promote the falsehood that feminists are not good mothers sound like victims of conditioning to me and receive my compassion and hope.

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