Britt ([info]twowayaddiction) wrote in [info]feminist,
@ 2004-11-05 22:48:00
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Current mood: irritated
Current music:laura veirs-salvage a smile

My response to a journal entry posted in a friends journal:

He stated:
"There is nothing that merits an abortion other than sexual assualt, but there are ways around that too. DON'T dress in ways that grab men's attention (*gasp* skirts that COVER one's thighs!)."


Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Because it's totally the woman's fault that some man can't control his urges.

Not to mention, rape is not AT ALL about sex...it's about power. (Hence, why injections of libido-blocking drugs such as depo-provera don't work). The vast majority of rapes are comitted by people the victim knows, and I'm pretty sure they'd rape them whether or not they are wearing a short skirt.

It's just the whole blame the victim mentality. Totally wrong and lets the guys off the hook. "Because the woman had it coming". I should be able to walk down the street buck-ass-naked if I feel like it and not be afraid of someone raping me right there on the spot. I shouldn't have to live in fear of that, or ask myself "will this outfit get me raped?". Some people may say "oh, well that's just reality", but that is SOO freeing the man of any responsibility. If we are actually going to change things we have to change the mindset of society and what they view as acceptable behavior on the part of men. By saying it is partly the woman's fault for wearing such a short skirt is actually dismissive of the severity and brutality of the crime.

------------------------------------


I don't think there's anything that pisses me off more than this kind of mindset. Just the fact that he had the audacity to SAY that. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Sick, sick, sick. He obviously knows NOTHING about the nature of rape.

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[info]roselady
2004-11-06 07:44 am UTC (link)
Oh the icing on the cake, these are generally the same types of men that get horribly frightened and angry if say... a gay man should ever hit on them. because you know, thats just wrong, and what kind of man would ever do such a thing? It's so wrong for a man to touch another man or rape a little boy. But if it's a WOMAN oh of coarse it's Her own damned fault.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]twowayaddiction
2004-11-06 07:54 am UTC (link)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH YES!!!

That is so my friend. hahaha. Homophobic to the core.

Crazy.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]roselady, 2004-11-06 08:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gigusfox, 2004-11-06 02:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]roselady, 2004-11-06 11:44 pm UTC

[info]x_mass
2004-11-06 09:02 am UTC (link)
maybe your friend should move to Iran
since the underlying bais of what he suggests - that just by wearing clothes men cannot control themselves and MUST rape is the same basis for expecting muslim women to cover themselves

but then again I should not be suprised since muslims and christians are just jewish sects

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]divabat
2004-11-06 09:31 am UTC (link)
Actually, the case for covering yourself in Islam is partly decency, and partly to separate the free from the slaves (in the old days). It also had a practical use in that it protected you from sand.

There is still the part about "not tempting other men", but that doesn't mean the men get away scot-free either. Actual Islam is quite progressive towards women's rights - before Islam, women could barely get any power. One of the forerunners? Khadija, Muhammad's wife.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]x_mass, 2004-11-06 10:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]divabat, 2004-11-06 10:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ibnfirnas, 2004-11-06 11:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]divabat, 2004-11-06 11:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]x_mass, 2004-11-07 12:14 am UTC

[info]pokeyturtle
2004-11-06 04:44 pm UTC (link)
but then again I should not be suprised since muslims and christians are just jewish sects

and this has to do with what, precisely?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]x_mass, 2004-11-07 12:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oriannakitty, 2004-11-07 05:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]x_mass, 2004-11-07 10:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oriannakitty, 2004-11-07 07:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]x_mass, 2004-11-07 08:43 pm UTC

[info]danieltrimm
2004-11-06 09:39 am UTC (link)
i've been arguing that women should be free to wear whatever they want and not feel afraid for years, I've also argued it about guys, if i wanted to i should be able to run down the street naked and fear any sort of potential harrasment. the case "she has it coming to her in those clothes" is wrong but it is true that hetrosexual and bisexual males do get aroused by some women based on what they're wearing and what they're showing, especially if its someone they know, may like a bit already and they get to see bits they normally wouldnt but this can never be associated with rape, this sort of thing has never made me wanna rape someone.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]danieltrimm
2004-11-06 09:40 am UTC (link)
EDIT

and *not* fear any sort

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]x_mass
2004-11-06 10:13 am UTC (link)
as equally as homosexual and bisexual men get aroused by men but they dont particularly rape men either

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]danieltrimm, 2004-11-06 02:57 pm UTC

[info]blunder_buss
2004-11-06 10:36 am UTC (link)
[sarcasm on 'high']

GASP! OH MY GOD! You mean this entire time all we had to do to stop rape was to wear long skirts?!? Quickly everyone! Alert the media and the government! This man has finally found the ultimate cure to stop rape! Hurrah! Rape will now only be a thing of the past! No one shall be raped again! Oh happy day!

[switches off sarcasm]

Ugh, that was bad for my health. Plegh.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]anne_jumps
2004-11-06 01:45 pm UTC (link)
Not only will no one be raped again, we can now stop all unwanted pregnancies simply by never having sex!

Hurray!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]trinityva
2004-11-06 03:37 pm UTC (link)
I wear pants.

No one will ever, ever, ever attack MEEEEEEEE!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]frightened, 2004-11-06 06:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]x_mass, 2004-11-07 10:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tropicalwahini, 2004-11-07 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rejectedrealism, 2004-11-07 04:40 pm UTC
:o(
[info]luighseach
2004-11-06 02:31 pm UTC (link)
Most people don't.

Sometimes it takes knowing someone raped to get it. Sometimes that's not even enough.

I think educating both men and women is one of the most important things we can do to prevent rape.

(Reply to this)


[info]itsjustkelly
2004-11-06 02:34 pm UTC (link)
OOoh! Ooh! I KNOW! Instead of girls dressing like Halloween ghosts, how 'bout men STOP RAPING WOMEN??? That would work!!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]blunder_buss
2004-11-07 02:33 am UTC (link)
What? You're asking all men to alter their behaviour instead of women? Oh, don't be silly! That's man-hating!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]gigusfox
2004-11-06 02:35 pm UTC (link)
I am constantly scared that someone may try and rape my girlfriend or even me. MY girlfriend says that statisticly it is very unlikely to happen to us. I"m still afraid of it. I need to take mroe martial arts training.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
your girlfriend has the most rational view of the matter.
[info]jsl32
2004-11-06 04:33 pm UTC (link)
it's hardly to say you have nothing to fear or whatever, but living life constantly presuming an evil rapist is lurking in every shadow is just as bad as the people who fear going out because they're worried about being mugged. if anything, being so paranoid increases one's chances of being assaulted/robbed because such people look all the more like easy targets to criminals. taking normal precautions and having perspective on the whole thing generally works to reduce one's odds of rape down to basically infinitesimal levels.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: your girlfriend has the most rational view of the matter. - [info]pokeyturtle, 2004-11-06 04:48 pm UTC

[info]keithlard
2004-11-06 02:44 pm UTC (link)
I should be able to walk down the street buck-ass-naked if I feel like it and not be afraid of someone raping me right there on the spot

Perfectly true, but that's not the way the world is.

I should be able to walk into a sports bar and shout out 'So-and-so team sucks ass!' and not be afraid of getting beaten up, but that's not the way the world is. There is such a thing as inviting trouble.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]pokeyturtle
2004-11-06 04:48 pm UTC (link)
i think she's aware of how the world is.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]twowayaddiction
2004-11-06 07:58 pm UTC (link)
I think you totally missed the point of my post.

First of all, rape victims rarely "invite" the trouble. I know my friend who was sexually assaulted by her step-father wasn't asking for it. I actually think that I wouldn't be raped if I were walking naked down the street, because rape is a crime of power/violence rather than sex. So basically the whole point of my post was to show how stupid it was of my friend to suggest that wearing short skirts is what prompts men to rape.

Secondly, your kind of mindset is what lets men off the hook when it comes to rape. Saying "that's just the way the world is" frees them of any responsibility.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]miss_meadows, 2004-11-07 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blunder_buss, 2004-11-07 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keithlard, 2004-11-07 11:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blunder_buss, 2004-11-08 01:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]keithlard, 2004-11-08 01:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blunder_buss, 2004-11-09 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]keithlard, 2004-11-09 02:05 pm UTC

[info]skycladwitch
2004-11-06 04:34 pm UTC (link)
No matter what no guy has any excuse to rape someone. No means no. and thats the end of it.

(Reply to this)


[info]kadaria
2004-11-06 09:43 pm UTC (link)
I would ask him if this means that the next time he wears a suit or a nice shirt, I can take advantage of him sexually.

(Reply to this)


[info]tropicalwahini
2004-11-07 03:07 am UTC (link)
Wow, I just finished reading The Handmaid's Tale and one of the reason for the way society has gone in to protect women against sexual violence (and instead turning some of them into walking wombs)

(Reply to this)


[info]pixxxie84
2004-11-07 04:15 am UTC (link)
FUCK HIM. I can't believe men are still trying to use that "she was asking for it" garbage. He is a fucking sexist jerk, and I would've kicked him in the balls if he had said that while I was physically near him. Fucking sexist asshole...

(Reply to this)


[info]oriannakitty
2004-11-07 05:34 am UTC (link)
"There is nothing that merits an abortion other than sexual assualt, but there are ways around that too. DON'T dress in ways that grab men's attention (*gasp* skirts that COVER one's thighs!)."

hey, i never thought of that! i'm gonna start covering my thighs from now on, and maybe the pesky raping will stop!

what actually annoys me the most about this quote is his opinion that abortion should only be allowed to girls who were raped. but its completely and obviously wrong if they mother is dying and the baby is half braindead and addicted to various drugs.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
i know what he meant!
[info]tropicalwahini
2004-11-07 04:10 pm UTC (link)
he means that we should wear really really really tightly wound saran wrap (colored of course) as skirts so our legs are basically wrapped together so there is no space in between them. and if you know saran wrap can be difficult to get off sometimes.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: i know what he meant! - [info]oriannakitty, 2004-11-07 07:33 pm UTC

[info]blksqul
2004-11-07 06:06 pm UTC (link)
So why exactly are your friends with this idiot?

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