Feline News

and you thought only yoomans did that

A penguin who was sexually assaulted by a seal is shocked that science guys stood by taking photos during the forty-five minute assault. "I'd heard about experiments where humans watched and did nothing while crimes took place," said the flustered penguin, "but I didn't think those stories were real." Science guys say immature seals often sexually abuse penguins. Maybe a magazine would help? Can't we get those seals a copy of Zoo World or something?

BBC news

now extinct from being hunted, eaten on sticks

Five foot penguins with long, sharp beaks roamed Peru 40 million years ago. I can't believe they didn't become the dominant species. Makes a cat sad, it does.

yahoo news

it missed that turn at Valdivia

A Magellan penguin, who should be in southern Chile about now, has accidentally ended up in Peru, where the Humboldt penguins vacation. No one knows if the Humboldts will accept the Chilean, especially since Peruvians are a**holes

BBC News