dear fabulous fatties and fat-friendly folk: i need some advice!

so, the human services agency/organization i work for had the bright idea to have a weight loss competition made up of teams of people in certain sectors of the agency. when my supervisor was putting info in people's mailbox, i told her to skip mine because i wasn't interested. She said, "i'll give you one anyway, just in case". i was kind of annoyed about the whole thing and voiced to my supervisor that I was mildly offended at the whole concept and while I was all about being less sedentary and eating a little healthier, i did not think a "weight loss challenge" was appropriate. When she continued to put the literature in my box, something inside me snapped and started a little rant about weight loss not always being healthy and people who are bigger aren't alway unhealthy at their size. Then I said in a kind of sarcastic manner "well gee - if i develop an eat disorder and lose a bunch of weight, maybe I can help our team win! Or maybe i'll pick up a meth habit. That would help me lose weight!" Anything for the team! (I stopped myself before that part). This prompted brief blank stares followed by an immediate change of subject.

I thought of contacting the person who is in charge of organizing this with some kind of size acceptance point of view that finds the whole idea, while likely innocent and well-meaning, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'd like to tell them that I get bombarded by the idea that i should lose weight everywhere else and feel that work should be a safe haven where I would rather focus on doing my job well and not be reminded that being fat, which i happen to be, is not socially acceptable and something i should fix.
My partner, while very sympathetic and who also feels it is a bit inappropriate, think I shouldn't say anything. "You don't want to make enemies for no good reason", he says. But i think it might be a good reason. I see part of his point, though. I am new to management (just got promoted to assistant supervisor a month ago) and perhaps don't want to be known as a complainer or a parade pisser or something right off the bat. I don't know. I'm conflicted. am i overreacting? if not, how do i go about addressing this diplomatically?

     Okay, I didn't really know who Katie Price was prior to this, but apparently she's got a line of lingerie that she's selling. Check it out.

( Katie Price's Lingerie )

     I bet you can tell why it's making waves.

     According to SizeNet.com's News Service, Katie Price's comments were:

     "There are lots of people who promote their underwear with stick thin models but I wanted to use my family and friends so that's what I did. Asked what she liked about the new range, she said: "The bits that I like are the little bows, the little frills and the short knickers.”

     I'm pretty upset about the story itself because I simply cannot find any positive coverage of it yet (excepting the above tiny blurb). I found the story because, guilty & dirty pleasure, I read TheSuperficial.com. From there, I googled and came up with Egotastic.com, TheBlemish.com, and TMZ, among others. If you're up for the pain, skim the comments on each of these sites. Yes, the majority of them are highly trollish, but some are people lauding these women for their courage. You know what I don't see? Anyone lauding these woman for their beauty. They look fabulous, don't you think? Again, as usual, it's up to us fatshionistas to put this into perspective. These girls are just lovely, and for goodness sake, someone needs to notice.

Please go HERE!

Alecia Rock is a co-worker of mine who is riding her bicycle 545 miles from San Francisco to Los Angeles. Alecia is doing this for AIDS AWARENESS. A very good cause. A good one indeed.

Come on, we barely WALK that amount in a LIFE time and Alecia's gonna RIDE that amount for a cause she supports fully. I support this cause as well, and am going to see if there would be a way for me to somehow join this ride too.

Alecia is far from a skinny wonderbread; She is a full figured gal who is pushing herself into doing this because this is a cause that she feels strongly about.

If you can donate anything, like 5 bucks, that would help her immensly; it pushes her closer and closer to her goal. And also, if you can post this into your own journals or forums or anything else I would so appreciate it.

So please, do me a favor and take a step out of life and help me support Alecia. I'd appreciate it so much and would owe you even more.

And tell her I sent you. DIA SENT YOU. DIA.

Thank you all for your support in this cause. Everyone has been affected by the spread of HIV and AIDS, whether it be yourself or someone you know and love. We aer THISCLOSE to a cure; Let's keep pushing for it!.


POSTED WITH APPROVAL FROM THE MODERATORS OF FATSHIONISTA!

I've been going to physical therapy for about four weeks now. Every session, I try to "come out" as fat. You know, when I let someone know that I'm about 99% ok with being fat. I usually do this by making neutral/funny statements such as, "You sure I'm not going to crack this BAPS Board? Can it handle 300 pounds of Awesome?"

Invariably I get:
"Oh, stop!"
"Oh, shush!"
"Don't say that about yourself!"

I know what that they think I'm being self-depricating. But I'm not. I want to say, "hey it's ok that you've noticed that I'm fat" -- that is, I want to be fat-positive but more importantly I want people, especially medicalish people to feel "at home" with fat people, you know, like fat is a part of who we are and they don't have to pretend it doesn't exist. I am seriously considering crafting a handout to give to people I've recently come out to:

Congratulations! You know a fat person! Ok, you probably know *many* fat people since approximately 40% of all adults are considered fat by all sorts of measures, institutes and agencies depending on who you ask. So what makes me different than all the other fat people you've met or treated today? For starters, I like being fat. Yup. Read it again if you need to. Most days, I like being fat. It's a part of who I am.

Just like you might like your blonde hair or big feet or the gap between your front teeth, being fat is a part of my physical appearance that is both a part of me and something I don't merely tolerate, I embrace. The only real difference is that while having blonde hair, big feet or having a gap between your teeth might make you a target of teasing, it is unlikely that you will be denied housing, a job, an airplane seat, the opportunity to foster or adopt a child, medical insurance or adequate medical care due to one of these aspects of your physical appearance.

Being fat is also not the only thing I like about myself; I'm just as complex as any non-fat people you know. It's not the only thing I want to talk about but in a world that tries both to not see my fat while simultaneously shaming and discriminating against me for being fat, I like to stick up for myself, to make space where it's "ok" to be fat. I'm not any better or more exemplary than other fat people and I'm not trying to set myself apart as "better than" other fat people. All fat people who pass through your doors are individuals and deserve an appreciation of their individual selves and medical needs regardless of how much they like or dislike being fat.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because when I make comments about my awesome fat body, you often shush me or try to tell me that I am "not that fat." Well, I *am* that fat and it's ok. I realize you are trying to be polite, sensitive and professional but until being fat is as value-neutral as any other physical state, in that it can be acknowledged without being despised, until medical professionals can *say* the word fat and have it just be an adjective, then no real progress can be made. We will always be dwelling on fat and never having a discussion beyond it. We will never research or develop technologies, medicines and surgical techniques that work on all sorts of bodies if we are dead-set on the idea that there is only one correct kind of body to have.

While I'm at it, I don't really consider "not that fat," a compliment but do feel free to say nice things about how smart I am, how funny I am, how much you enjoy the way I've complied with your course of treatment, how much you enjoy having me as a patient, how much improvement I've made or tell me how great I look today. Because, I do look pretty great.

Edited to add: Several of you have asked about reposting this in other forums and the answer is "yes" on two conditions:
1.) You must include my lj username
2.) You must link back to this post in fatshionista when writing about it or referencing it

I originally posted this over at The Rotund but a few people asked me to post it here as well. So I am!

Setting: Grocery store

Two women are standing beside each other surveying the nearly empty bins of tomatoes. One is fat, the other is sort of fat, with the loose skin that often accompanies sudden and rapid weight loss.

“There’s not much selection is there?”

“Nope, I wonder what happened, why there was such a rush on tomatoes.”

A pause, during which both women examine tomatoes.

“I was just wondering, would you be interested in talking about weight loss, an all-natural –”

The fat woman interrupts.

“No, actually.”

…

The sort of fat woman shakes her head as though she can’t believe what she has just heard.

“Really?

The fat woman is smiling and polite.

“Yes, really.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I’m actually a size acceptance activist which means I’m happy with myself as I am and view diets, no matter what kind, as an unhealthy activity.”

The sort of fat woman turns to a different bin of tomatoes about halfway through this speech and gives no indication that she is listening.

The fat woman holds up an unblemished tomato. She has as many as she needs and so offers it to the sort of fat woman.

“Oh, this one looks good!”

The sort of fat woman continues to ignore the fat woman.

The fat woman places the unblemished tomato in a prominent place on the display and once again smiles.

“Okay, well, you have a good night.”

The fat woman is joined by her boyfriend and they both walk away.

“What did she just ask you?”

***

The whole tomatoes incident happened on Friday night while the boyfriend and I were getting ready for a Saturday cookout. The tomatoes were for the hamburgers which we were grilling on our sort-of-repaired outdoor grill (the firepit side is functional but rather crumbly, the grill side is sound but the grill screen is held up by bricks). I was shocked, when it happened, for two reasons.

A) I was busy looking at tomatoes and not thinking about how my fat ass was walking around being all offensive to people.

B) This is the second time I have been solicited for weight loss in a store of some sort and, unlike the first time about five years ago, I was able to give a coherent and polite reason for declining the information.

Reason A illustrates the opposite of thin privilege. I am not allowed to forget I am fat. If I TRY to forget and just walk around like a normal person, someone from outside will remind me. Thin people (though this does happen to very thin people and people who, you know, deviate from the “norm” in just about any way) don’t have to think about the statement their body is making. Thin privilege is probably not the best term for it because it does work against so many different body types. In any event, this is why I believe just being a fat person walking around living a life is a political statement. People observe my body and what I do with it and judge me based on that. I have no control over them doing this - I can only control my presentation and try to subvert their interpretations.

Reason B is a pretty big deal. The first time this happened to me, I was shopping for swimsuits. Let me tell you, it’s unpleasant enough to be contemplating swimsuits when you’re already overly body conscious (as I was feeling at that time) without having a representative of the YMCA standing around asking you if you’d like to sign up for their summer membership drive. Thank you, YMCA lady, for implying that my body was not decent enough to appear on the beach. I wasn’t as self-confident then as I am now, so I wound up taking her pamphlet and giving her my “call for more information” number and then I had to fend off two or three phone calls because, really, I wasn’t prepared to join a gym at that time. I just wanted a swimsuit so I could sit on the beach and read a little bit while enjoying being outside.

The rampant belief that our bodies exist for other people to comment upon has not changed. But my ability and comfort levels when responding to it has and has in a positive fashion. It is not my job, it is not our job, to make nice and go along with whatever people are saying to us. It is not impolite to decline an offer of weight loss advice (or whatever a person might be peddling). We are, if we must be fat, supposed to be jovial and cooperative, but screw that. I will be jovial when I feel like being jovial (which is, honestly, most of the time) and cranky when I feel like being cranky and polite but firmly not interested when I am firmly not interested.

And, for the rest, I was genuinely offering that woman an unbruised tomato because, really, turning her down doesn’t mean we are suddenly enemies. I don’t have to buy into her scheme to be her tomato-shopping ally, which is how we started out. She was the childish one - when the conversation did not progress as she desired and expected, she played the “I can’t hear you” game.

And, frankly, that’s a better outcome then me having to deal with solicitation phone calls from the YMCA because I can’t say no.

The cookout, meanwhile, was fabulous. And the tomatoes were excellent.

Hi all,
I'm new to the community even though I've partied with some Boston members before. I wanted to let everyone know that Sondra Solovay is working on the Mass. height/weight discrimination legislation and is looking for people to give their personal stories about experiencing size discrimination. If you are willing to tell your story you can respond to this message and I'll get back to you about contact details. Thanks a bunch!

Activists wanted! Do you turn as green as The Hulk when the media call people “obese”, show pictures of headless fatties, or otherwise do fat people grave injustice? This is our chance to come together and create a media reference guide intended to educate the media on how to treat us with fairness, integrity, and respect!



So join the MAFRAD Yahoo Group today so we can get this awesome project on its way!

Anyone who wishes to repost this outside of fat pride related LJ groups or your personal journal, please let me know.  I'd really rather no one repost the LJ links outside of LJ, even though they are public domain.

This will be x-posted to bigbody_yoga, body_positive, chicago_fats, fat_feminist, fatgrrls, fatshionista, fattyboom_boom, haes, nolose, radicalbodies, riotsnotdiets, transfats, if allowed...but wait, before I commit an LJ crime, is that too much?  I want to get people involved not piss them off when 20 of the same post ends up on their friends' page.

*GOOD VIBES*

I have been out of town and meant to post this awhile back, but I am doing a workshop at the NAAFA conference and would love any of you wonderful fatshionistas to be there.


( Last minute shameless self-promotion... )

( And Wedding Outfit )

Spurred on by a recent post i was looking to see if there were any Fat Pride groups in the UK (specifically London)
I failed miserably but I did find an interesting article here, written almost a year ago! It's quite a long read but some of it I found quite good :)

A couple weeks ago, I posted about my Women's Studies assignment to do an outrageous feminist act, and how I was planning to culture jam those awful Special K ads. With your suggestions and encouragement, I did it, and it was quite a success. Prof loved it, and I felt really good about having talked back, even though I don't know how long the edits stayed up before somebody took them down.

I'm pretty active in our local goth scene- as a matter of fact, I'm a vendor  (hairfalls) and I know quite a few folks. Since I have many people, venues and promoters on my friends list, I get requests from vendors pretty often- and this time I decided to let them know why their request was denied. (here they are-   http://www.myspace.com/decadentdesigns ; )

I received your friends request, and I wanted to let you know that I haven't approved it.
I like your clothing, and I know that many of my friends would also, being very involved in the goth scene here in Los Angeles.
Unfortunately, I noticed that you do not carry anything in the plus size range. I will not recommend a company to my  friends that does not serve the larger sized customer.

If you do decide to carry a line of plus sized clothing, please feel free to contact me again, since it would be nice to know that you include all of our diverse scene.

NWSA CONFERENCE 2007
"PAST DEBATES, PRESENT POSSIBILITIES, FUTURE FEMINISMS: A WOMEN’S AND GENDER STUDIES CONFERENCE"
CELEBRATING 30 YEARS OF NWSA

June 28-July 1, 2007 St. Charles, IL

http://www.nwsaconference.org/

Junkfood Science warns of redoubled efforts on the part of the AMA, the government, and corporate funders to turn schools and pediatricians into fat police. (The clinical practice guidelines discussed in that link are disturbing to an Orwellian degree, so be warned.) After reading this, I feel like we need to flood either the AMA or the Robert Woods Johnson Foundation or both with our stories of what our restrictive childhood regimens did to our health and self-esteem. (Obviously not everyone here has a horrific kiddie-diet story, but a LOT of us do.) I'm not very experienced in organizing a call to arms, however. Can someone who's a better activist determine who we should write to? Maybe we can collect the stories somewhere and send them all as a block -- or publish and publicize them on someone's body acceptance blog?

Hello all. I realize that I am seriously missing the idea of being in a really fat positive space. I am also an artist (musician). I have organized many grass roots gatherings/ shows in the past and I am interested in organizing a one day/ night conference on Fat Art! I would like to include writers, musicians, fine artists, dancers and performance artists of all stripes. It would be great to have any fashion designers as well. I would like to have it here in NYC and I don't want it to be too far in the future. Perhaps looking at the most 6 months from now. Before I launch such an endeavor I'd like to find out what kind of interest there would be. Also if there are any others who are interested in helping organize this shin dig. My vision is workshops during the day culminating in one fabulous cabaret style performance in the evening. Well please let me know if you are interested!

Thanks,

Star

UPDATE: Just got the following from Marilyn: They've moved the hearing date back to September. I'll post more when I hear about a specific date, but for now, no lining up for June 13th (though please still email your reps!).

*************************

Hey fatshionistas,
Marilyn emailed me this and I offered to spread it around; I know there are a TON of rad fatties in Boston, Springfield and Western Mass on this list, and I'm hoping if you all get the chance/have the time/resources, you'll help out?

She's looking for folks in Massachusetts to help get the anti-discrimination bill passed. The state congress has recently moved up the hearing date to June 13th, and we need folks to testify about how important it is that this become law. Besides going to testify, there are some other important ways to help out. Under the cut is a letter from Beth Kenny, an intern at Fat Legal Advocacy, Research and Education (FLARE) about how to help, including a sample letter that residents of the state (or anybody, I suppose?) can send to their representatives and senators.

And just as an important note, this bill may not get another chance to be passed in Mass. I'm aware that it's come up before, and if it doesn't pass this time it may be a long while before the state congress will consider it again. The solution? MAKE IT PASS NOW.

( Click under the cut for a helpful letter and letter form for contacting your reps, and info on how to testify at the hearing! )

I always love to share good news.

http://dejablu503.livejournal.com/399142.html

Imagine if someone had stood up for you like that, when you were 15.

so at the risk of flooding the hell out of my inbox, i'm going to ask your plan re: old navy's eliminating plus sizes in the stores. (obviously this is a big deal for me - 90% of my wardrobe comes from ON)

Will you stop shopping there now because of the decision to go strictly online with the plus line?

Will you shop there as much as you can between now and when it happens because finding affordable plus size clothes of the ON variety is futile elsewhere?

Will you continue to shop their plus sizes online afterwards?

reasons for your choices?

i'm truly torn - i don't want to continue to support a company that makes my life more difficult, but i also have a hard time finding clothes i can wear daily, in my budget, at any other retailer. and while their sizing can be inconsistent, i've also had the opportunity to try on garments in different sizes and styles and will have a good idea of what will fit and in what sizes should i order from them online.

Did you all get the same response to your letters? I'm guessing it's a form...

i wonder if even hundreds of letters about the same thing would make a difference - it sounds pretty well decided. *exasperated sigh* another affordable plus size resource bites the dust...

--------

Dear Kirsten,

Thank you for your e-mail regarding our Women's Plus line. After much
evaluation, and as difficult a decision as it was, we will be removing
the Women's Plus line from all of our Old Navy stores. Please accept
our sincere apologies for any disappointment this may cause you.

While we will no longer carry Women's Plus in any of our stores, the
complete line is available on our website at oldnavy.com. You can place
an order on the web or by calling 1-800-OLD-NAVY, option one. Our
online representatives are available 24 hours a day to assist you with
questions or order placement.

We hope this information is helpful and look forward to shopping with
you soon.

Sincerely,

Shayne
Customer Service Consultant

ETA--------------

This was my reply. Think it will get anywhere? i doubt it, but for some reason, i am not ready to let this go.

---
How about instead of everyone who writes on this topic being sent a form letter in response to what we have to say, someone actually reads our emails? If we're all going to hear the same thing, and actually take the time to read what you tell us, do us the courtesy of reading our emails, as well.

I have heard from no fewer than ten others, in the last HOUR, who received the exact same reply, verbatim, which does NOT address the points we made in our initial letters. In fact, in many ways, it pointedly ignores them - we state that we do NOT purchase online, and yet, you direct us to oldnavy.com. How is this customer service?

More than the issue of removing the plus line from the stores, this impersonal approach to handling incoming customer mail is infuriating.

Please forward this to someone who has the time and desire to actually hear from the people who spend money in your stores.

I got this post from Mia Tyler on MySpazz. It explains how plus model, Mia Amber
went into Old Navy to ask them why they were removing plus sizes from their
stores, got good response and was asked to organize the Fatties to lobby Old
Navy.

The number and email are here:

custserv@oldnavy.com or call 1-800-Old-Navy

and I'd encourage everyone to write a little message explaining why this is the
wrong approach to dealing with a lack of sales in the Plus Department.

( the post )

We can accept things we don't like, like not having enough money for something or a different religion with views in opposition to our own, or that a loved one is pro-life or pro-choice when you're the opposite.  But aiming for far-love isn't reasonable at all.  Is there a way to aim for fat just being?   In other words no emphasis on fat or skinny, just people?  There's no stigma for big feet or small feet because it's never been a view, and having blue eyes isn't bad or something that needs to be accepted.  Saying it as "fat acceptance" makes it sound like something bad that people just need to accept and tolerate.  Instead of, "I accept you as a fat person," how about, "I accept you as a person"?

2007 PCA/ACA Fat Studies Area Panels


Several times, due to travel snafus and cancellations, presenters were shuffled around. The three panel days are already getting blurry to me, so if I’ve forgotten someone or have listed them incorrectly, please forgive me.

Additionally, I’m the least academically-minded person you could ever stumble across, so if I’ve misrepresented something here or if I seem to be plucking only a few details out of a pile of important messages, my apologies!


( Brace yourself and feel free to scroll past my ramblings on awesome thinky-thinkiness to get to the hothothot tub pictures! )

Hey all -
Is anyone here involved with NAAFA, and if so, what has your experience been like?  (I checked the activism and politics tags, couldn't find anything)
Thanks :)

Call to arms for southwestern Ohio Fatshionistas and anyone else who wants to get involved ...

( Don't wanna garf up yer friends list, a lot more behind the cut )