the lady is a tramp! ([info]the_ladytramp) wrote in [info]fanficrants,
@ 2008-08-22 22:18:00
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two little rants
Please, writers, stop posting "trailers" or "teasers" for your upcoming plotbunnies as fics. I'm not talking about posting a short prologue, either--these are what can be best described as novelized movie trailers, often little snippets of action or dialogue from various points in the story accompanied by ridiculous questions like "WILL THEY SURVIVE?" or "WILL THERE BE LOVE?" Where did this trend come from, and why do people think this is a good idea?



I know this dead horse has been beaten excessively before, but lemon-writers? Listen to me, please.

PENIS. VAGINA. CLITORIS. BREASTS. TESTICLES.

These are body parts, not bad words. You can use them, really! Nobody (unless they're eleven years old or about that mature) is going to giggle and say "eew!" You don't owe Gray's Anatomy any royalties for using them, either. Can we please, please, PLEASE stop using the ridiculous euphemisms? Calling a vagina "quivering love folds" or referring to the penis as "throbbing man-meat" makes me stop reading so I can laugh myself into a coma.

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[info]epiphany_gun
2008-08-23 02:57 am UTC (link)
Wow. I'm very happy. I don't think I've seen trailers like that. And here I thought my fandoms committed every fiction faux pass in the book! HUZZAH!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]the_ladytramp
2008-08-23 03:05 am UTC (link)
I think it's a relatively new trend and popular only amongst the new writers. I see it the most in fandoms that attract younger writers/readers.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]vescas
2008-08-23 02:58 am UTC (link)
please link me to the fic that uses 'throbbing man meat' so I may laugh myself silly.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]the_ladytramp
2008-08-23 03:03 am UTC (link)
I can't remember it off the top of my head--I wish I could, but I read it a long while ago. It was in the Kingdom Hearts fandom, but I know that doesn't narrow it down much.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]harpie_siren, 2008-08-23 08:08 am UTC

[info]ithinkitisayit
2008-08-23 03:05 am UTC (link)
I dunno. I think I wouldn't mind reading trailers like that, so long as they're clearly marked/warned for.

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[info]razorzknight
2008-08-23 03:17 am UTC (link)
These are body parts, not bad words.

Funny thing is, the fangulls treat those words as if they were the worst cuss word ever, yet freely use and abuse stuff like cunt, dick, boobs and slit. Real motherfucking maturity right there.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]love_jackianto
2008-08-23 04:42 am UTC (link)
'Real motherfucking maturity right there.'
I know what you mean; how can they consider 'penis' a bad word, but use 'dick' every other line?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]toxictattoo, 2008-08-23 11:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]razorzknight, 2008-08-23 12:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-23 03:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]madchemist36, 2008-08-23 08:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-24 03:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]madchemist36, 2008-08-24 07:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-24 07:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]madchemist36, 2008-08-24 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-25 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_ladytramp, 2008-08-23 04:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-23 03:54 pm UTC

[info]minni
2008-08-23 03:18 am UTC (link)
I remember reading "trailor" fanfiction in 1998. It's not really all that new. (Especially considering what a decade of real time is like on the internet...)

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[info]taeliarose
2008-08-23 03:25 am UTC (link)
Written? Then shit, that annoys me too. Just right the damn story. If you need that sort of thing to get your story straight in your mind or something, sure as hell don't post it.

But I've seen some pretty decent video trailers for fanfiction that I really enjoyed, mostly because it takes at least a modicum of talent to put one together. Also, it works best for authors who are established in their fandoms, because then people actually care what they are set to release

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[info]paralyzant
2008-08-23 03:45 am UTC (link)

"Calling a vagina "quivering love folds" or referring to the penis as "throbbing man-meat" makes me stop reading so I can laugh myself into a coma."



LMFAO.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]idiot_genius
2008-08-23 05:51 am UTC (link)
Agreed.

Also, where is your icon from? (I had to ask, because I know I've scene that character somewhere and it was going to drive me crazy until I asked).

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]paralyzant, 2008-08-23 06:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]idiot_genius, 2008-08-23 05:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]non_air, 2008-08-23 11:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]idiot_genius, 2008-08-23 05:14 pm UTC

[info]love_jackianto
2008-08-23 04:40 am UTC (link)
WILL THERE BE LOVE?
Just once I would LOVE for the answer to that question to be NO.

'throbbing man-meat'
Eck... I think I saw that in a really bad romance novel once (that and 'pleasure stick').

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]razorzknight
2008-08-23 04:53 am UTC (link)
It's hardly ever love in fanfiction. It's mostly just fucking, and whoever can't see a difference needs a braincheck or two.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-23 07:14 am UTC

[info]leikomgwtfbbq
2008-08-23 05:46 am UTC (link)
Romance novels are one step... nearby to bad fanfiction. I don't know whether it's better or worse than bad fanfiction. It's like choosing between petting scorpions and eating bees.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-23 07:11 am UTC

[info]harpie_siren
2008-08-23 08:09 am UTC (link)
PLEASURE STICK!

XD
LMAO!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-23 03:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]razorzknight, 2008-08-23 03:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]love_jackianto, 2008-08-23 03:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beedekka, 2008-08-23 03:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]razorzknight, 2008-08-23 04:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thelittlebudgie, 2008-08-23 04:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beedekka, 2008-08-23 04:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thelittlebudgie, 2008-08-23 04:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beedekka, 2008-08-23 04:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]razorzknight, 2008-08-23 04:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beedekka, 2008-08-23 06:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thelittlebudgie, 2008-08-23 08:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beedekka, 2008-08-23 11:54 pm UTC

[info]whisperings
2008-08-23 05:24 am UTC (link)
'throbbing man meat'

...that...is the best line ever.
ROTFLMFAO. XD

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[info]kohi_no_tora
2008-08-23 06:49 am UTC (link)
I know some authors (good ones) who avoid those words as much as possible. They just come across to some people as too clinical and using them more than very occasionally is a mood killer.

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[info]ecchipiro
2008-08-23 08:26 am UTC (link)
"Quivering love folds" and "Throbbing man-meat" make me gag. I hate purple prose so much. ;_;

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[info]fullmoon_dreams
2008-08-23 08:45 am UTC (link)
I raise my hand as being guilty of posting occasional teasers. For one of my fics which is novel length already and not even half way done, I post a sneak peek of a scene/part of a scene on the first of each month.

The first one was a Sorting Hat song and posted on its own because I was (and still am) far from happy with it and wanted some feedback before it got to the point in the fic where it was posted.

The others are posted with a choice of two scenes for the next month and people can vote on which they would like to see. From my point of view it is handy because I can get an idea of what people are wanting from the story. They are all clearly marked as sneak peeks and if people don't want to be teased with them they don't have to read.

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[info]ice_feather
2008-08-23 09:24 am UTC (link)
What's most disturbing is a lot of the time it's fully grown women who are getting all giggly and stupid over using "swears" or sex terms. I've never understood that. I doubt they act like this offline so why regress back into silly infants over it on the internet? It's not cute, and it's not funny when there's a big chance it's some middle aged housewife. It just looks really, really sad. Especially trying to cutesy the words by using expressions like "smex", although I'm not seeing that a whole lot these days, thank God.

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[info]bean_bunny
2008-08-23 12:37 pm UTC (link)
Someone once posed to me that the answer to any question in a summary ("Will there be love?") is "Yes. With butt sex."

Will they survive?

Yes. With butt sex.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]razorzknight
2008-08-23 12:45 pm UTC (link)
As my girlfriend told me once, "I don't know what everyone sees in butt sex. It's a pain in the ass."

Though that method for answering questions can work, yes...

"Will the Senshi be able to defeat Galaxia's underlings?" "Yes, with butt sex."

Moon Princess Strap-on Attack!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - [info]bean_bunny, 2008-08-23 12:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]razorzknight, 2008-08-23 01:01 pm UTC

[info]apolloniaf
2008-08-23 01:03 pm UTC (link)
I've seen at least two "trailer-fics" in the South Park fandom. One asshole said that the more reviews he got for his trailer, the sooner the story would come out.

I, of course, refused to review. I was going to send him a pissy PM, but I decided that would be petty.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]love_jackianto
2008-08-23 03:30 pm UTC (link)
' One asshole said that the more reviews he got for his trailer, the sooner the story would come out.'
Oh, I hate it when people say they're not going to write a chapter until they get 'X number of reviews'; talk about begging for reviews. That has always seemed very childish to me.

'I was going to send him a pissy PM, but I decided that would be petty.'
That doesn't seem petty to me; sometimes people just need to be told when they're doing stupid stuff- he probably won't listen anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]creepy_crawly
2008-08-24 02:11 am UTC (link)
Quivering love folds?! QUIVERING LOVE FOLDS?!?!?!

Hojeezuzchrist. Gonna go barf now, plzkthx.


That's bad. That's just wrong. And this from a girl who highlights bad euphemisms in cheap romance novels!!!

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