Everything was set up as it always was. "Pair up, duel and try to take your minds off the weekend."

Short and sweet today, it seemed.

"Good morning, class," Ghanima said as people arrived in the Danger Shop. It was set up today with the usual pillows and blankets that came after a traumatizing weekend for island residents. "I'm going to deviate from the syllabus again since I understand many of you had a long weekend. Shoes off, please, and leave them by the door today."

( To perceive Christmas through its wrapping becomes more difficult with every year. ~E.B. White )

"I'd like you to discuss how you think Saint Nicholas Day got tangled up with Christmas," she said, providing one last handout. "Why do you think this happened? Was it deliberate? Keep in mind that modern Christmas customs include: gift-giving and merrymaking from Roman Saturnalia; greenery, lights, and charity from the Roman New Year; and Yule logs and various foods from Germanic feasts. More than one religion and culture has contributed to the holiday that many of you are familiar with today."

[OCD up!]

A lot of basic lab supplies were set out in the science classroom today, and a wide variety of simple handouts sat in stacks around the classroom.

"Free lab today," Tyler announced. "You can play with the supplies, and we have some pages of actual experiments to do. Or call it study hall. Don't make soap, don't blow anything up, don't do anything to the elves" -- he never let his students have any fun -- "and if you say one word about marriage to me that is a detention and don't test me on that."

He'd come to on a raft in the middle of the harbor and had needed to paddle frantically just to get back to the mainland. He had a right to be cranky.

Loki had not be affected this weekend but fuck if he hadn't listened to radio with a certain evil glee. Of course, he wasn't a monster so today, class got a break.

"I know you're all probably recovering from your fun this past weekend," he said, smirking at them. "So, enjoy your free movie day. Next week's finals and you won't be watching a movie that day. Don't feel too fucking embarrassed. The island loves to mess with people. This place would be boring if it didn't."

With that, he stuck in the movie and pushed play.

Ronon faced his class speaking English this morning, thank you very much. He stood at the front of the Danger Shop auditorium with his arms crossed and looking vaguely pissed. "I'd planned on having time this weekend to plan somethin' big pre-finals for you, but it seems Fandom wasn't in on it. So you guys get a free showing of Visitor and popcorn. No uniforms." This is what happened when he thought they'd all been through enough in the last two days. Relish it, kids.

Bond had had an exceedingly boring and normal weekend. Which meant he was disgustingly cheerful as he greeted the class.

"Good afternoon, I apologise for last week's absence and trust that Mr Reese and Miss Hathaway led the class ably," he said. He paused for a moment, then continued "Now, given that we are rapidly approaching the end of our time together, and in deference to the fact that some of you may have had interesting weekends, today's class will be set aside for revision."

Bond gestured to several large stacks of paper. "There are copies of notes from previous classes," because he cared "and you of course are free to ask me any question you may have."

[ooc: wait for ocd up]

[Class Roster|Class Rules|Previous Classes]

Today was the sort of day that saw Jono bustling into the library almost late, finding his way to the nearest seat, and then depositing his bottom into it and swearing to himself that he wasn't going to move from that spot unless he absolutely had to, damn it.

Because, not only was he still a little on the tired, distracted side after all that had been going on this week, but if he didn't move, then he couldn't stumble across any more of those stupid holiday ornaments. Right?

... Right?

[No OCD today, sorry this is a smidgen late-ish. The bus system hates me.]

Mohinder was at the front of a classroom that had an uncanny resemblance to a computer lab; if one which had sprouted typewriters on steroids, interconnections of cogs and valve banks amongst the more usual array of desk and laptops.

"If you want to hide information more securely than just by concealing its location, then you need to change the information itself. Passing on 'The elk flies at midnight' can mean something else entirely to the right listener," said Mohinder. Or warn them to duck when out that night. Carrying an umbrella.

"Cryptographers have devised, and broken, a number of code systems," he said, passing out a few examples. "From the simple - the replacing of one letter with another, transposing groups of letters and those ciphers based on the sender and recipient having the same edition of the same book." Mohinder elaborated, encoding and decoding, with increasing complex ciphers.

"The complexity of some cipher keys has become so great that breaking them may be impossible," Mohinder closed, "Barring quantum computing or breaking the chain with the user. Now, it's time to try your techniques at coded communication."

[OCD has been decoded!]

"Last time we talked about Abraham Lincoln before he was President. This time we're going to fast forward a bit and get to a bit of weirdness after he died," Jim said.

"Counterfeiting money was apparently big business during and after the Civil War. One of the biggest counterfeiting rings was based in Illinois, Lincoln's home state and also where he was buried. So when one of their best men got arrested, it was bad for business and real money stopped coming in. So the gang's leader, a guy named Big Jim Kennally, figured they'd make up for the lost business by stealing Lincoln's corpse and ransoming it for two hundred thousand dollars and the release of their guy in prison. Completely reasonable, right?"

( The plot to rob Abe's plot. )

Steve seemed to be in a very good mood today. That might have something to do with how he was no longer a turkey. "We've barely scratched the surface of all the different ways art can be made this semester, I'm afraid, but our time is coming to an end in a couple of weeks, so you'll have to continue your exploration on your own. Or in another art class, who knows? Today is dedicated to one of the other major paint mediums, watercolor." Steve provided a brief lecture on what made watercolor different from some of the other paint options, with some suggestions on technique, then said, "You have your choice of paints, and your assignment for the day is to choose one of the paintings in this packet," he said as he handed copies of said packet out, "and reproduce it. It doesn't have to be an exact copy, just your interpretation. You can begin now."

"I'm sorry, guys. I brought a box of pastries from JGOB, but when I opened it, I found Christmas ornaments instead," said Hoshi, looking apologetic as she held up a shiny bauble. "You can visit me tomorrow at the hotel and I'll give you all the apple strudel you can eat. Anyway, there's lots of newsworthy stuff going on this week, with the play going on and the teal deer banquet. Who wants to volunteer to cover some of these stories?"

Wielding his gavel like a croquet mallet, Barney shot an ornament across the boardroom table. "I call this meeting of the StuCo to order. Now, even though it seems Fandom's turned into our very own wacky advent calendar, that doesn't mean you shouldn't spread coffee and pornographic cheer to get your classmates through finals and out on the town for a wild New Year's Eve. Now, remember this isn't lame student council. No one's ideas should include the words 'party favors' or 'bring your own' or we'll just laugh in your faces, got it?"

With that, Barney leaned back to hear what the poorly dressed youth of the day was going to set up.

Do not ask about the elf costume. Do not ask about the elf costume. If you value your life, do not ask about the elf costume.

( Code of Conduct for Rational Discussion )

Summer had handwavily let the students know they were meeting in the Danger Shop for today's class. It was set up like an underwater lab; an almost exact replica of the one she and her brother had used during their underwater expeditions.

"Hi everyone," Summer smiled, deciding to ignore the elf costume she'd been clothed in. Thanks, Fandom. "I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I know I did." Never let it be said the Pitt family was a boring one.

"Today we're going to be studying sea creatures up close," Summer explained. "I thought it would be fun to make it interactive." In one corner of the lab, there was a pool of deep water. If the students paid attention to it, they'd notice gray masses swimming in and out of it.

There were other stations with tanks to study. The students could get up close and watch various creatures in smaller versions of their habitats.

"I thought today would be a good day for studying things up close. Feel free to ask questions, take notes or just watch things unfold."

[OOC: OCD coming up!]

There were jingle bells everywhere on Deadpool's uniform. And elf booties.

He hated this island. Hated it with enough force that he was contemplating some sort of editorial edict. Or maybe complaining to LJ. Either or, man.

"So, last week we had Thanksgiving. So, I hope you enjoyed stuffing your face around familial dysfunction because today we're talkin' about fair play and ethics and crap." Oh yeah. You can feel the enthusiasm.

"Like... bringing a gun to a knife fight, kicking an opponent when he's down just for the funsies, or holding a loved one hostage." A beat. Though that sometimes backfires..."

Damn those Avengers!

"So, today I want you to partner off and come up with ways to beat your partner using the most unscrupulous methods possible."

It had been almost a month since the explosion and Sam still wasn't sleeping well, so he'd headed to the library even earlier than usual today. (It was that or pretend to sleep so Illyria would have something to watch, and that still hadn't gotten less creepy.) Luckily, he'd been working in the library for so long that he could slip into autopilot when getting ready for the day, and finish everything without having to think.

"Good morning," Ziva said, after everyone had arrived in the Danger Shop. "We will not be having a written final for this class, but you will have a final simulation to go through. Those of you who took this class over the summer will be familiar with it." And those who weren't familiar with it might be able to get a hint of how crazy the simulation was from the gleeful look on Ziva's face. "Today is a bit of a free day for you all. The cars and track are yours for whatever you feel you need to practice the most, and I will be here if you have any questions."

Anakin was trying very hard (very, very hard) to look as if he didn't know or care that he was wearing an entire elf costume today.

Yes, he'd set the stupid hat on fire. And the shoes with the bells. They kept. Coming. Back.

"You've had two weeks with your droid babies," Anakin said. "I trust that you've all learned valuable lessons about restraint in the face of lust, or at least the value of good birth control. Now we'll move on to the last of the seven major sins: sloth. Originally, sloth was described as 'an uneasiness of the mind'," he continued. "Apathy. Melancholy. Joylessness. And importantly, the decision not to do anything about it."

He shrugged. "The modern view understands that the mind is slightly more complicated than that and sometimes it is impossible to will yourself not to be sad. Instead, this sin focuses on the failure to utilize your talents and gifts."

He made eye contact with each student. "In a place filled with as many talented people as this one, I can view it as almost criminal to not live up to the potential each of you has. Today, pair up and talk about what your plans for the future are, and how what you will be doing will be helping you in what you might think of as your greater destiny."

He rolled his eyes. "You may also use this time to complain about what a horrible person I was to saddle you with fake children for a period of weeks, if you insist upon it."

The room was just a simple studio today; there wouldn't be a lecture, but there would be--

"I'm not having a final exam, rather obviously," he told them as they came into the room, "but we will be doing a final 'piece'. This is the only time I'll be asking you to produce something that we'll be showing off to others. Don't worry," a smile "I won't be grading on the final outcome. No, this is more about seeing whether this class has had any impact on your art, and whether you've put some effort into the final project."

He leaned against one of the pillars in the 'art studio', his eyes resting on one of the open windows and the sunlight shining through. He snapped out of it a moment later.

"You can, if you like, work with a partner, but it's not required. You're also welcome to help and critique each other if requested while you work. We'll be presenting during the last class of the year."

Nick spread his hands.

"Well, go on. Best to get started."

[ocd up.]

Max like to think his students were clever enough to be getting used to the big pile of random gear to select from for their runs. They were all pretty bright, after all. "Since you've done this before, today you've got three minutes to gear up. Get to it."

"Going into this course I knew that just a few weeks wasn't enough to teach you more than the most simple of basics about regular or irregular infantry tactics, and I've sought to cover the most important aspects. So today we're going to talk about one of the most important things to understand for irregular forces: cheating. Apparently the modern militaries of this world have some fancy words for this, but I don't really remember what they are. Not that it matters, because in the end all those fancy words boil down to cheating."

The trail today was relatively clear, but was also noticeably uphill. The terrain was slightly rocky and dry, but provided perfectly decent footing. "One of the ways to keep an irregular force flexible is to keep it small," he explained. "And one of the advantages of regular forces is that you can make them big pretty easily. Which means that if you end up fighting a regular force with an irregular force, you're going to be outnumbered, often badly. Now, I know you're all smart enough to know that when you're outnumbered you don't charge in head-first because that's a good way to die, and none of you want that. What you do instead," Max grinned just bit, "is cheat."

"You come up with the dirtiest tricks you can think of: sabotage supplies, cause landslides, lead them into ambushes, pick them off with snipers, anything that lets you avoid actually having to fight fair. One of the important things to remember is that beating an enemy doesn't necessarily mean killing all of them. Getting them to run away can work just fine, and sometimes just slowing them down so that they can't get where they're going quite fast enough to do what they want to do is all you need to manage. Which," he smirked as they came to the top of a rise that looked down over a tree-filled valley, "brings us to today's exercise."

Max pointed out a line of men marching through the valley. "The Danger Shop has kindly simulated a century of troops trained in the same regular infantry tactics you were shown. That's about a hundred men with swords and armor and discipline down there, and your job is to find some way to keep them from getting out the other side of the valley before class ends."

He looked over his students and grinned. "At their current pace they'll be through in fifteen minutes." And there was at least half an hour of class left. "You can take as much time as you want to plan things, but keep in mind that the more time you spend on that, the less time you're actually doing things. And the clock is ticking." He heard that line on TV somewhere.

There was an e-mail early that morning:

Kids,

Class is canceled due to teacher illness. Next week, we'll make up for it.

-Mr. Dukes

[ooc: Ugh, sorry about my fail. I was all gungho and ready to wake up early and get the class written up... and then I got hit with a gallstone flareup. Bad enough that I am actually on my superpills and WHOA does that stuff make you kinda loopy.]

Drake had sent out a notice to his students that class would be in the Danger Shop again. When the students arrived, however, Drake was nowhere in sight. The Danger Shop had been transformed into a medievally gothic room all decorated in blue, with blue stained-glass windows. To the west was a door leading to the next room.

There were extravagant medieval costumes (and masks) for those who wished to wear them, but it wasn't necessary.

A parchment stuck to the entrance of the Danger Shop read: The prince had provided all the appliances of pleasure. There were buffoons, there were improvisatori, there were ballet-dancers, there were musicians, there was Beauty, there was wine. All these and security were within. Without was the "Red Death."

There were a twisty maze of passageways, all alike. Well, not quite alike. While each room held couches for lounging, drinks and snacks for nomming, and music for grooving, each one was a different color....


[Syllabus | Class Roster]

It was going to be a script-review day. No way around that, but Gabrielle's attention was split between the script and an unrolled parchment with a letter from home, lying on the desk beside her.

She couldn't help being interested in how Perdicas was doing these days.

That had sort of come out of nowhere, but . . . okay.

[OOC: Lame post is lame, and the OCD has dissociated from it.]

In the center of the room, surrounded by random tiny pine trees was a small green creature in a cage, looking very, very cranky.

But then, so was Sirius. He'd gotten bit the night before as they'd been capturing the gremlin for class and had spent a very uncomfortable hour singing about a cake he'd left out in the rain (and he'd never have that recipe again, oh no). "This is a gremlin," he said, pointing with his wand.

Remus was in much, much better spirits today. Mostly because he'd told Sirius to wear gloves, but had he listened? Nooo. So Remus got to laugh at that terrible, terrible song. "I understand that some of you may have already had some experience with these lovely creatures. While they aren't exactly dark creatures, they certainly are irritating, aren't they?"

"Yes," Sirius answered sulkily for them. "Please share any experiences you've had with these...things...and then feel free to come closer and examine it. If you get bitten, I will laugh."

Because Sirius was all about nurturing the students.

"And there are gloves," Remus added, gesturing to the box. "Should you choose to employ them." He looked sidelong at Sirius, smirking slightly.

"Thank you, Moony," Sirius replied, glaring back.

Colette was cheerful as the students filed in.

"Bonjour, and thank you for the time you spent on Thanksgiving last week," she said. "It seemed as though everyone enjoyed the food, and that is the important bit of a holiday."

"From now until the end of the term, we will work on desserts and confections. Today, the chocolate truffle." She held up a round brown thing and popped it into her mouth with evident delight. "It is named, bien sur, after the expensive and rare truffle fungus."

"They are traditionally made with a chocolate ganache center coated in chocolate or cocoa powder, and they are most often round. Other fillings may replace the ganache: cream, melted chocolate, caramel, nuts, almonds, berries or other sweet fruits, nougat, fudge, or toffee, mint, chocolate chips, marshmallow, and -- often -- liquor."

"Today, we will make the ganache sort. Watch and I will show you." She made the ganache quickly, handwaved a bit for the sake of time, formed it into balls and placed them into the refrigerator to chill. "When they are set, we'll roll them in a topping, such as cocoa or powdered sugar," she said. "These make magnificent gifts."

"This week we're going to be covering the larger scale invasions," Aeryn greeted the class once they'd all settled. "While we haven't had any this semester, save for the vegetables, they are common enough to have to prepare to deal with them. Trolls, zombies, snow monsters, these things happen. And while you may be used to facing an enemy on the scale of an actual invasion, it's a bit different in Fandom. We have people born and raised to fight, alongside magic users and those with powers, aside from those who live in the library to find out what's going on and how to stop it. I admit, it's impressive how people work when the time comes, and it's something you probably won't really understand until you see it. And I can almost guarantee that at some point, you will see it.

Passing out what she was pretty sure was their first and only handout for this class, she went on, "I've got a list of tips here. I have a feeling most of what I say would go ignored the microt an invasion actually happened, so hopefully seeing it in writing will maybe make a difference. I want you to look at these, and we'll go over any questions you may have on how to better prepare yourselves."

Today the ball was in Jim's court on the class subject. And poor, poor Nathan just had to follow the notes he was given. God help everyone involved.

"Today we'll be talking about sex in terms of other species. The future for most of you and the present for myself and---a few others." Right. Awkward to think about Spock anywhere near sex. What Uhura was thinking--nevermind that now. "The Ferengi are a humanoid race," He continued, passing out a sheet on that. "That consider commerce a form of government and morality unto itself."

Algren stared at his notes. Stared at them. And then stared at Jim. And refrained from asking if this was real, or if Jim had made this up and had handed him this information on some so-called alien race to make him look like an idiot in front of the class.

And yet there he went, clearing his throat and reading the notes regardless. If he was going to look like an idiot, he was going to do so with confidence.

"Their obsession over wealth, which usually comes in a form of money they know as 'latinum,' has had a somewhat notable effect on the way their society has evolved into what it is... today?" A beat. "Or what it will be." Something like that. "Males are the dominant gender of this species, which makes females into... Well, into an asset, I suppose. Property. Marriage, for example, is more a business contract than lawfully wedded bliss, or whatever people consider it to be nowadays. Marriage doesn't last, it's a lease, signed between the bride's father and the groom for a set period of time and a set fee. The fee is due to be paid when the bride gives birth to a son."

There were many reasons why they never joined the Federation.

"Traditionally, the hammer represents sexual prowess for the Ferengi," Jim continued, sticking to the subject at hand. "Unlike human males, one of the more obvious methods of--" He smirked. "--stimulation is massaging the the lobes of their ears. Sometimes performed in public to demonstrate how successful their business is to be able to afford such services on a whim."

Jim leaned against the desk, looking out at the class. "We would like you to discuss how--if you have knowledge of them--non-human races approach gender equality and sexuality. If not, please use the Ferengi as an example. We will discuss more species later on."

Algren flipped through his notes again. Frowned at them, and then shrugged, looking up at the class.

"You heard the man. Get to it."

"Good morning class," Rick chirped at his students. "I hope you all enjoyed the holiday weekend, I know I did." So much so, he'd forgotten to write a lecture. Bad Rick.

"Now, the topic of the day is romantic films, and who doesn't love a good romance? The thrills, the tension, highly attractive actors with mad chemistry. It's a great way to kill a few hours."

"Which as you recall was your homework for the week, so I want you all to tell the class what film you watched and if there was any swoonnage involved. Then we'll all settle in to watch one of the greatest romantic films of all time, Thiefcatcher by Alfred Hitchcock."

Rick had great taste in romantic films, he was awesome like that.

[OOC: OCD up.]

[Class Roster|Syllabus|Class Rules|Previous Classes]

"There's one last big power in the war we haven't spoken about at all," Mitchell announced. He was, as always, sitting cross-legged on the couch with a slight quirk of a grin on his face. "The Soviets." He patted the giant expanse of the USSR on the map behind him. "As you may remember, the communists took control of the country during the First World War, first under the guidance of a bloke called Lenin. But Lenin had a bad heart, and died less than a decade after his rise to power. There was a bit of infighting, but out of the whole mess came this guy..."( Moskau, Moskau, wirf die Gläser an die Wand, Russland is ein schönes land, ha ha ha ha ha... )

[[ wait for ocd up! ]]