Emmett: Helllllllllllo, Fandom! This is Emmett Cullen and Chuck Bass with WTFH Fandom radio.

Chuck: Emmett, there's something I need to do.

Emmett: And what's that?

Chuck: *sigh* Here's the five hundred dollars I owe you from the bet last week.

Emmett: Whoa! Didn't think you'd actually pay me, dude. Much less on air.

Chuck: I want Francine to make me brownies, dammit, now just take the money and shut up.

Emmett: Hey, not complaining.

( Yes, the brownies are that good )

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy 4th of July to all our Americans out there. Happy 'Let's blow shit up to celebrate sending a dear John letter to England' to everyone else. A letter, America? Really. I guess we should be glad Twitter wasn't around to do it on there.

Anyway! News for all. Boys and girls, Americans and folks from other planets.
( I'd totes break up with Britain on Twitter. )

I think that's about it for tonight, kids. State safe and try not to blow your hands off with a cherry bomb, mmmkay? That tends to end badly and then the clinic staff gets snippy.

G'night folks!

*sound of a crashing door*

Minsc: Ah-hah! Evil-doer, beware, for Minsc and Boo are-- Oh. Hullo, squirrels. I was told there might be danger here....but I do not see it. I just see radio stuffs.

*even more crashing*

Worf: Stop and... Wait. There is no invading force taking over the communications of this island! How dare you squirrels send me a false alarm!

*MORE CRASHING*

Deadpool: Where's the rum in danger---DAMN IT ALL. You know, you'd think by now I woulda learned that a sign claiming there's free booze in here was a lie.

Minsc: ...Sir Deadpool, Sir Worf. I wish I could say that the squirrels are putting this together for a very impressive brawl, but I fear that this is not the case. There are too many notes involved for this to be a brawl, aren't there?

Deadpool: I'm sorry, I couldn't focus on anything but the italics, wha?

Minsc: *grunts* Radio. Notes. No fighty. Woe!

Worf: This is hardly an honorable way to die.

Minsc: Then let us forge forward bravely, Sir Worf, and hope we come out of it alive!

( *CRASH* )

Minsc: And I don't have a girlfrie-- Oh, by Tempus' mighty blade, that's all the notes, isn't it? Can we just go now?

Deadpool: Yes, before they bring more papers!

Worf: Klingons never retreat. However since this is not a battle... I concur.

Minsc: BEAT IT, SQUIRRELS. WE ARE OUT!

Deadpool: Drama queeeeen.

Minsc: Oh, shut u--

*click*


[[ sonofmogh and mouthy_merc are my favouritest people in the world right now! They get mega cookies and booze for their awesome help ]]

Lacey: Hi there, Fandom! Enjoying your last few hours of peace before the new kids arrive?

Katchoo: No.

Lacey: When I address Fandom at large, please don't assume I include you in that.

Katchoo: Fine by me. She's Lacey, it's Thursday, now we do that thing. *fingers snapping*

Lacey: You live to take all the fun out of it.

Katchoo: *feedback* frikkin' straight.

( The relative calm before the newbie storm! )

Lacey: How's that for happy endings?

Katchoo: How about ending?

Lacey: Right. This is Lacey Burrows signing off on behalf of myself and the growly one. Enjoy your last few hours of un-newbie-interrupted sleep, Fandom!

Jaina: All right, let's get this over with.

Brooke: Have I not taught you to do an intro?

Jaina: No.

Brooke: The 'hi, this is Brooke, welcome to radio, please don't mind us talking at you for the next few minutes as long as we're funny?'

Jaina: You missed that lesson in the kidnapping me to radio.

Brooke: It wasn't that bad. No one made you show all these weeks.

Jaina: They're called squirrels.

Brooke: ...Good point.


( small day woo! )

Brooke: Well, that's it for me, guys! It's been a blast, you're all- well, most of you- are awesome, and I want to keep in touch with everyone even if I'm going to see you at homecoming. It's a long way off. Bye, everyone! Remember, if I don't call anyone, Jaina killed me.

Jaina: Oh, for the love of-

Um, yeah, hi, whatever. Squirrels? Seriously? Seriously? You have to be kidding-- OW.

I can arrest you for that, okay, there is nothin' in the Fandom penal code about allowing squirrels to get nutty all over an officer of the law. If Day can arrest a pony, I can arrest some [microphone feedback]ing rodents with attitude issues. You got me?

*chittering*

I have no idea what that means. Fraser, I'm blamin' you.

( Replacement Radio! )

Sam: Good evening, Fandom, from Dean and I and our special guest.

Dean: Say hello Gracie.

Grace: Hi hi!

Sam: Just don't touch any of the squirrels, and we'll be fine.

Grace: Bunneee?

Sam: No, they're not bunnies. And the bunny's not here any more, he's back to normal.

Grace: *disappointed* No bunneee?

Sam: Uh, maybe we can find a bunny when we go home? A nice one? Please don't cry here...

Dean: This is so payback for a certain little brother's puppy eyes...

Sam: I refuse to believe I was ever this bad. Her look is lethal!

Dean: Pay. Back.

Sam: Yeah, well, that just means you get to hold her and be the target of her looks while I start on the notes.

( Two teenagers and a toddler radio! )

*sounds of panicked squeaking*

Chuck: Blair! Bad girl!

Emmett: Dude, she's going to eat one of them.

Chuck: You are a naughty--I swear to god I didn't think I'd ever be talking to her like that outside of a bedroom.

Emmett: Sick.

Chuck: The squirrels are handing you a note.

Emmett: We didn't have this problem when the bunny was brought in here.

Chuck: That's because the bunny is a [feedback]ing wuss with bad hair. My friends turn into awesome animals, thank you.

Emmett: Can you control her long enough to get through this broadcast?

Chuck: I make no guarantees.

( There's mention of hamster sex in here, not gonna lie )

Deadpool: What?! No, no, no. Not tonight. I know what happens on nights like these. I'm already brain damaged, I don't need more!

*Chittering* ..... *More chittering. It is like a wee squirrel huddle* ... *And then the door slams*

Zack: What? Here, again? Oh, hi Deadpool! I'm supposed to tell you that I'm not allowed to have any rum anymore.

*more chittering, door opens*

Daisy: What's all this, the-- er. Squirrels? That's just Deadpool; I know he's Deadpool, but he's here every Saturday, I don't exactly see what the very important emergency you told me about is. You said it was very important and that I should come straight away, despite what I was doing, which was very nice and you do realize it's illegal to call a cop in on an emergency when there isn't one, right?

Deadpool: Well. Thank the editors. You guys are here to help right? I'm pretty sure there's rum in it for--you're naked underneath that aren'tcha?

Zack: .... Oh. Oh. Uh. Oh my. I'm gonna just... *Rustling sounds.* Okay. I'm good.

Daisy: ....I was in the middle of something. I was told there was an emergency. I'm very dedicated, even when certain squirrels who might need to meet me in the station on Monday lie about emergencies.

Deadpool: Naaaaaked!

Zack: *Muffled* If anyone needs me, I'll just be right here. With my head between my knees. Not looking.

Daisy: Oh, come on, I'm perfectly decent and covered. I take it you'll be needing help with notes, is that what this is all about? Let's get to it, then, we've very busy people, loads to do, now...
( And lo, there was dirtiness and a traumatized puppy )
Deadpool: Sweet god, we made it. We liiiiiived!

Zack: I can go? I'm halfway to my waist in note papers, this could take some effort.

Daisy: Yes, let's all call that good. Crisis averted. Good job. Let's all be on our merry ways...

Ghanima: I'm not sure 'merry' is the correct word, but yes. Blessed Maker, let's get out of here before they find more notes in their grubby little pockets.

Deadpool: And say goodnight to the nice people out there, mmkay?

Zack: Goodnight, nice people! ... All of you. Wow.

Ghanima: All the nice people are at home, in bed, asleep and not listening to us. Good night, everyone else. Try not to regret anything in the morning.

Daisy: And remember, it's against the law to drag an officer out of bed for a fake emergency. G'nite.

[[GIANT thanks to puppy_fair, justice_beat and atreideslioness for helping!]]

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites, and some previous Fandomites, too, as some people are arriving in town for the dance tomorrow! That's right! Turtle Wexler's still on your radio, reporting the news! And this is Valentine; she's new.

Valentine: Hi.

Turtle: Soooo, Valentine, did you get a date for the dance?

Valentine: No, did you?

Turtle: ...OH, like anyone wants to just hear about us, anyway, Val. Let's get onto the radio.

( Final Day of Workshops, Ha-cha-cha! )

Valentine: I'd suggest you say hi, then, but we're at the end of the notes, and good-byes are more appropriate then. Good night, everyone...

Turtle: ...and have a prosperous tomorrow!

Lacey: Hi, Fandom! Happy Thursday!

Katchoo: She's Lacey Burrows, along with me, time to do news aren't you excited ohmygod insert hyperactive squeal here.

Lacey: You make it sound so depressing.

Katchoo: It is. By the way, anything you might have heard about me being a nice person is a lie.

( Scurrilous lie. REALLY. )

Brooke: Happy Wednesday, everyone. This is Brooke, and- Um. That's not Peter, is it?

Jaina: It's John.

Brooke: This is the second time this week there's been a bunny in here? I think that makes it a trend. Can I pet him?

Jaina: Uh, sure, I guess, if he lets you.

Brooke: That's so weird. I was sure his fur would feel like gel.


( bunnies make everything better )


Brooke: Quiet day today.

Jaina: I'll take it. It means we can get out of here.

Brooke: It's weird hearing you refer to a rabbit in a 'we' sense.

Jaina: Are you sure you've been here a year and a half?

Brooke: Can the bunny you speak for say good nig- OOH HE YAWNED. It counts! Night, Fandom!

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. I trust the evening finds you well as always. Joining us today is one of the teachers at the school who expressed an interest.

Mitchell: Oh, I was just following the squirrels, mate.

Arthur: An educational experience, I'm sure. These are the squirrels, and these are notes. We read them aloud. You can read--?

Mitchell: ... Of course I can.

( In which Mitchell proves that yes, he can. )

*squirrel chittering*

Dean: What do you mean we're on the air? We can't be -- Sammy's not here yet.

*more chittering*

Dean: No, the show doesn't have to go on when I'm the only one here.

*insistent chittering*

Dean: Who the hell am I going to mock if Sammy's not here? Oh hell no. One of these buttons has to turn this thing off...

*sound of buttons being pushed, accompanied by panicked chittering*

Dean: Oh come on. This is a radio station. Why would it have a self-destruct button?

Sam: Hey, I'm sorry I'm late! I had to--I needed bunny supplies and--why are you trying to destroy the station?

Dean: Where the hell have you been? And why are you carrying a rabbit?

Sam: Um, because he's Peter and I didn't want to leave him alone in our room?

Dean: You're kidding. That's Peter? Seriously?

Sam: Does the bunny hair not give it away?

Dean: Dude, this isn't what they mean by going at it like bunnies.

Sam: I could have left you here alone all night, you know.

Dean: No you couldn't because then I would have to hunt you down and hurt you.

Sam: You wouldn't hurt me in front of a poor, defenseless rabbit, would you? ...Never mind, don't answer that and just give me my half of the stack.

Dean: Fine. Knock yourself out.

Sam: Fine. I think I will.

( Chock full of brotherly love tonight, we swear. )