*ring*

*ring*

*ri--*

"Arthur Pendragon."

*chittering*

"...Hello?"

*more chittering*

"Speak up, man. I can't hear a thing you're saying."

*loud, obnoxious chittering*

"...All right, squirrels, take it down, you don't need to destroy my ears. What is it?"

*chitter chitter*

"...Well, I hardly have any notes out here, do I?"

*cheet*

"What do you mean, check my Blackb-- ah. You've texted me the notes. That still precludes me from actually being at the radio station--"

*chitter*

"What do you mean, we're already on air?! Sweet mercy, you are unbelievable!"

*cheeeee*

( Thanksgiving Prince Radio. )

So, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The big--turkey. Land of shoving food in your faces and watchin' football while Uncle Frank drones on and on about his fantasy football team and you could just care less, so you entertain thoughts of shoving the wishbone up his nose and seein' if those Egyptians had it right there.

Not that I have an Uncle Frank, but the point still stands.

Right, onto this crap before I make Nate buy a turkey.

( Slow day is slow )

That's about it, folks. Try not to fall into a coma. And Nate? Get that damn turkey or I'll try deep frying a tur-duc-en and then we'll all be sad.

Lacey: *yawn* Evening, Fandom! Happy *yawn* Tuesday! Lacey Burrows here on WTFH and . . .

Katchoo: Yeah, someone was up way too frikkin' late playin' on Facebook again, huh?

Lacey: I had ghost chilis that were going to wither if I didn't get to them by 3 AM!

Katchoo: This was a lot less pathetic when all you had was a stupid keychain virtual pet, you know.

Lacey: Hey. Don't insult Darren Five Thousand and Fifty-One.

Katchoo: Oh, for cryin' out loud.

( And then when they're done here, Lacey can go harvest that raspberry crop. )

Sam: Good evening, and happy early Thanksgiving, I suppose.

Andy: Works as a greeting.

Sam: People seem to be getting geared up for Thursday already, so we might as well start the greeting early too, yeah?

Andy: Gobble, gobble.

Sam: *laughs* Heh, that's the spirit. Let me start looking through the notes, and I'll see how many of them might make us hungry this week.

( OMG is it pie time yet? How about now? )

Lois: Woo! Thanksgiving!

Chuck: Not until Thursday, Lois.

Lois: I'm practicing! Think I should start the wave at dinner?

Chuck: Yes. Yes I think you should do that.

Lois: Oh, I'm so doing it.

( I have done that at Thanksgiving. It's fun )

Evening, Fandom! Your favorite demon is back in his place on Saturday nights, bringing you all the news and unbridled lust that's fit to print.

( The squirrels know when you've been sleeping, they know when you're awake.... )

... OH! He beat you with his flush. Tough luck.

Oh, wait, am I on? Hi, Fandom! Jim Halpert here with your news and a bunch of squirrels. Gambling is legal here, right? If I were playing poker on the air with a bunch of squirrels I wouldn't get in trouble? Well, just in case, I want to make it clear that I am in no way doing that. And that sound you here is not me shuffling a new deck. It's probably some static. You should get a new radio. Maybe ask the squirrel on my right for some money since he's come into a lot of it recently.

Well, let's get on with the news fast so the squirrels and I can finish up our completely innocent conversation about what it would be like if we were playing Texas Hold 'Em.

( ALL IN! )

Good evening, Fandom. It's that time of the week once more: this is Arthur Pendragon for WTFH radio with the Fandom radio squirrels. I have been listening to some off-island broadcasts recently, and I hope this will help your grasp on the evening news.

*chittering*

I'm not sure what 'received pronunciation' means, but the squirrels have acquiesced to indulge mine from now on. Right. On to the school notes.

( English Prince Radio, Or The One In Which Arthur Is Looking To Get Slapped By Two Of His Closest Female Acquaintances )

So, I'm not a dingo anymore, which... ya know. Is nice. Took a lil' too long if you ask me, but thems the breaks when people are too busy playing WoW. Oh yeah, I went there.

Suck on that.

Aaaaanyway, onto the news...

( I want a martini. It's a manly drink, okay? )

Which is about it for the news. I'm Deadpool and you wish you could be played by Ryan Reynolds.

...shut up, Hannibal.

Lacey: Hi, everybody! Happy Tuesday! Lacey Burrows here, along with my cohost Katc--

Katchoo: *ahem*

Lacey: -- you know what? I'm having a little trouble connecting to FarmVille right now and I'm worried my crops are going to wither if I get back too late, so maybe we should get right to it.

Katchoo: Not gonna see me arguing, even if you have the dumbest reason ever.

( Cut so Lacey can harvest those blueberries soon. )

Sam: You know, I appreciate the gesture, but don't you have a job to get back to?

Dean: Dude, if I leave now, I'd get like an hour or so away and have to stop for the night anyway. I'll leave after I get some sleep.

Sam: So go get some sleep then. You don't have to follow me all night, I promise.

Dean: And miss meeting your new radio partner? Yeah, right.

Sam: ...Fine. Just don't mention the fight, or anything else, okay?

Andy: Hey Sam! You made it! I wasn't sure you were going- why do you have a black eye?

Dean: Don't ask me. I'm not allowed to mention it. I'm Dean, by the way.

Andy: Sam's brother Dean? Wow, cool. Awesome to meet you. I'm Andy.

Sam: Andy, hey, I wasn't sure if you'd be here already. We just got back into town and...judging from the light, we're already on, aren't we?

Andy: Yeah. I'm not even sure there is an off switch to this thing.

Sam: Do you mind if Dean sticks around while we do this? He's doing the stalkery big brother thing for one more night.

Dean: You'd think he was about to take out a restraining order on me or something.

Andy: No, man. That's cool. I mean, this used to be your job, didn't it?

Dean: It did. Little piece of advice. Never bet you can out drink a squirrel.

Sam: Yeah, that's not really an issue we have a lot anymore. I think I'll take these before the squirrels decide to change that.

( Cut cut cut cut cut... )

Lois: You ice cream sandwich thief!

Chuck: Maybe you should keep a closer eye on your food.

Lois: It was in my hand, you thieving whore!

Chuck: I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over the deliciousness of this ice cream sandwich.

Lois: I hate you. I hope you choke.

( That boy is a monsterrrrrrrrrr )

Good evening, Fandom. This is Jim Halpert in a different night than usual, just to make sure you're all paying attention. Unfortunately being on a different day means that I can't really talk up how great my class is. And they really do deserve it when I do that because, really, they're a great class. I guess they'll just have to do without that praise this week.

But there is some actually news for the day, so let's get right to that.

( Pirate Radio: Completely free of of hamster tubes. )

Hey, Fandom! I know, I know, you're probably thinking, wait, this isn't Saturday, why am I hearing that sexy voice coming from my radio? My squirrelly minions came to fetch me a day early, and after trying to understand their frantic chittering, I realized they needed me to come in tonight and not that Timmy had fallen down a well. So...here I am!

( Two bits, four bits, six bits a peso, all for El Drake-o, stand up and say so! )

So that's it from Friday in Fandom. Have a fun weekend, and try not to be too confused when you don't hear me here tomorrow night. Me, I'm either going hit the slots in Vegas, climb the alps, or try to grope Tim Gunn. Or maybe all of the above.