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Monday, September 29th, 2008
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8:29 pm - Second Question - A Follow-Up
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boogan
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This has been plaguing me since I don't fully know my way around gaydom yet.
I was with my guys and one of their friends at a huge gay club (two levels and free drinkies until 11 - fabulous). There was this guy that kept trying to interact with me. He was a bit odd. The guys shooed him away a couple of times and he definitely wasn't interested in them. I thought the boys were being bitchy (it tends to happen when we are out). The guy offered to buy me a drink and I (stupidly) accepted. I couldn't figure out what he'd want. He was definitely gay so bootie was out of the question. In fact he kept wanting to discuss other guys (not mine) in the club. I started to get creeped out (I think he had a jar full of eyeballs at home in the fridge). One of my guys tried to pry between us, forced the guy to shake his hand and asserted he was with me. Didn't scare the guy off though. Hell, when I tried my normal brush-off by going to the bathroom, the guy followed me and was waiting outside my stall (unisex bathroom). Would there be any common sense reason for this guy to pursue? There weren't that many women there. Then again, it is a gay bar so there aren't going to be that many. Is there hag poaching or something? M got a little miffy that I let the guy buy me a drink. T just stayed with me after that, held onto my hand and wouldn't let the guy get me alone again. (And their friend just wanted me to help him evaluate the packages of the go-go boys.) This guy did continue to try to pursue. I just don't comprehend why a gay guy would actually follow a girl around. I don't have what he wants. Any insight?
current mood: curious
current music: Madonna "Hard Candy"
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7:08 pm - Help? Looking for clarification & advice!
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boogan
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Okay, first I want to say I am so thrilled to find a community like this. Please forgive me if I ask a few stupid questions. I have always hung out with men. But up until this past year they have been straight. I just happened to find my two guys (they are a couple and a perfect couple at that). I knew T first and then T met M and we meshed. We got really close this year after M had a near-fatal heart attack. Now I don't know what I'd do without them. They are my touchstones. My eyes have been really opened. Not only do I see what level of love, decency, sensitivity, character, decency, intelligence, security and class is possible in a member of the male side of the species, for the first time I actually feel unconditional love and really cherished. One of them sees me and their eyes light up. On top of this I have been introduced to this community and world that I just LOVE! I went to my first Pride and not only marched in the parade but was on the news! Plus there are the clubs where we just have the most WILD time...and their friends....I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time. I feel like I really am a part of an accepting community. Hell, I am having more fun than when I was in my teens or 20s!
But when I was decorating M's desk at work for his birthday, I overheard someone call me a fag hag. I could tell he was being an asshole. It was his tone. Mocking. I was not happy. M is family to me now. When I told M & T separately later, they were both like "f- him". M wanted to confront him. But within 24 hours it changed and M has kept casually dropping the word to see my reaction - not to pick on me but more like testing the waters. T has made comments about whether I am claiming him or not. I have looked online to try and gauge if this is a negative term or a term of endearment. On the one hand it is defined in insulting ways physically and insinuating that I want to change them (I never would). In other places I see that it is a term of real affection and perhaps even a kind of emotional commitment. Or is it something in between? I feel SO confused by it. I know I'm being an idiot. But should I be accepting and enbracing it? Is it a matter of "claiming" them? Have I been unconsciously insensitive to them in not accepting the designation with open arms?
In short, is this a positive thing and how do I handle this? What do I do? Help?????BTW - I am returning to LJ I've mostly been on MySpace for the past few years.
current mood: confused
current music: Madonna "Hard Candy"
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| Friday, September 26th, 2008
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2:25 pm
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evidence_lost
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Hi. I'm fifteen, pansexual, biologically-female-but-don't-really-like-it.
I have no idea what to say now.
...I love gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual people. Everybody. Except homophobes, or people who don't want to learn anything about other people.
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| Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
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9:32 pm - Hello (:
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christinaa88
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So, hello everyone.
I am glad to be here, to see all you nice people :D
Well, I am 20years old, bisexual female. I like gays, lesbians, and straights xD so I love the whole world.
I hate homophobes as much as they hate gays -.-
and I am a big fan of "the gays of Daytime" (McDean, Ollian, DeRo & Nuke > you might know them :D)
well, thats me .. hope to find some new friends here
*hugs and kisses*
current mood: happy
current music: Shane Mack
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| Friday, September 12th, 2008
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1:11 am - hi
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stripedpony
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Hello to all, I am a 33yrld straight heterophobe female. Weird combo especially for a woman who has no intention of ever changing anyone from who they are. I take great joy in my gay/bi friends and I love them for who they are. nice to meet everyone.
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| Monday, September 8th, 2008
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9:44 pm - An introduction of sorts
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morellaspazz
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I can't say how happy I am to find this community. I have always had a soft spot for gay men. The few that I have met (I live in a weird area that is populated with narrow minded straight people) have been very sweet, and I wish I could find a nice gay dude to hang out with and chat with. The thing is, I'm not a fag hag--not yet. Like I said, I don't know many gay men. I wish to learn to be faghag. I wish to lurk a bit, comment a bit, and hopefully absorb the faghaggotry so that I may become a faghag myself. Thank you. I hope that I will be a good student to all you fantastic faghags.
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| Friday, September 5th, 2008
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6:26 pm - Subway Fires Former Gay Porn Star
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| Sunday, August 10th, 2008
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8:34 pm - New GLBTQIIA Community
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amor_demi_alma
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FEEL FREE TO DELETE IF INAPPROPRIATE.
Hi Guys!
I just created a community at
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) glbtq_disabled
. It's for members of the GLBTQQIA community to make friends and discuss being gay as it relates to being disabled in any way, be it physical, mental, learning, etc. Anyone, gay or straight or anything in between, is welcome to check it out and join. Be sure to tell your friends!
Thanks,
Caitlin
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| Monday, August 11th, 2008
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8:31 am - Beauty Myth
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angelus_81
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I know we live in a world that demands we uphold a certain beauty standard. I also know that standard is unrealistic and crushing to people's self-esteem.
My fiancé has certain image problems. Although he goes through the motions of making himself presentable and dressing up, he at heart does not think he is attractive.
I think he's crazy. Let me prove why. I'm on the left, and he's on the right (taken the night he proposed to me).
Now, I had my own image issues a couple of years ago, and sure there’s certain parts of me that I wish were better. However, several years older, the fact I don’t meet some form of beauty criteria seems less relevant.
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| Sunday, August 10th, 2008
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12:32 am - first post: my first fag and i
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fayesha
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we have been together for 10 years
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| Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
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8:25 pm - Memo from a gay boy
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angelus_81
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Hi there, a friend of mine pointed me to this livejournal community and I thought I'd drop a memo out of curiosity.
I've kind of heard about faghags, but never really had a female friend that seems to fill that role in my life; that close bond that some guys seem to have. I mean who else am I going to share the intimate dramas of my life? Most of my friends seem to easily tire of the discussions about the highs and lows of romance, relationships, and so forth.
Though I've read the community profile, I'm still kind of interested in hearing your opinion. Could you share with me your thoughts about being a faghag?
To finish up, I'll tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Angelus (26), and I'm a Sydney based queer studying politics and international relations at UNSW. I am actively involved in queer politics and other forms of activism. I am currently in a very happy relationship with my fiancé
Spyke (20; he lives in Melbourne atm - sads).
current mood: curious
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| Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
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9:51 pm
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blahkat21
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I think I fell in love with a gay man. I know how bad that sounds but its a very confusing situation. When I first met Zack it was in high school. He was just a skinny little red head. We were never really friends but I knew of him. Then we ended up going to the same college. It wasn't till college that I realized how cute he was. He finally grew up and didn't look 12. Then he moved into an apartment with a few friends of mine and that's when we got close. At this time Zack was not out at all. I never thought he was even remotely gay. I still have my doubts now, but that's another issue. We started hanging out and one night things went a little farther. From that point we were always together. We spent most nights together. It was great and a lot of fun. He did mention to me early in our "relationship" that we could not be official. It seemed weird but I didn't mind. Even if we weren't officially together it sure did feel like it. After about 6-7 months we started to fade. We saw less of each other, fought a lot. After spring break his roommate came to me and told me some interesting news. She said that during spring break Zack had come out, had a boyfriend the entire time we were together but they just broke up. I was pissed and shocked. I thought we were close and this is how I find out. That night we had a huge fight. I felt like a horrible hag. Not only because I didn't see the signs but that I got so mad at him for being gay and not telling me.
We've resolved our problems. I never stay mad for very long. I told him the night I found out that we were done. The problem is for a few months after that he still acted like we were together. I finally told him after Pride that we needed to draw the line. Which we did. Just friends and I could be his temporary fag hag. I'm trying my best to be his hag but its hard to switch from being his "girlfriend" to be his hag.
Sorry it was so long. Had to get that out.
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| Friday, August 1st, 2008
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5:15 pm - Come join the conversation on "A Safe Haven For GBLTSA" Forums!
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la_luna_bella82
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Come join the conversation on "A Safe Haven For GBLTSA" Forums!
GBLTSA Safe Haven is a support group and online hang out for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Bi-Curious, Asexual, Transgender, Transexual, and GBLTSA supporters/ friends/ family members to meet, socialize, and support each other in our endeavor to makle this world a more friendly and loving place for everyone, reguardless of their gender/ sexual preference.
It is COMPLETLY FREE to join, and participate in our online family!
TO JOIN:
http://safehavengbltsa.lefora.com
IF YOU HAVE ALREADY JOINED, PLEASE INTRODUCE YOURSELF IN OUR "MEMBERS INTRODUCTION" area.
http://safehavengbltsa.lefora.com/forum/category/member-introductions/page1/
THANKS!
-Sherry
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| Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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12:44 am - my lovely boys.
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strafbmber
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after being visited by my "wife" (chris) at work today i'm reminded about how much i'm cared about by my lovely, lovely queers. i wanted to share the love i have for them with girls that get it.
nicky baby. my #1 fabulous yet gothie queer. ♥
( my favorite boys )
martin & chris with christian seriano @ the d.c. pride kickoff party.
current mood: loved
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| Sunday, July 27th, 2008
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5:40 pm - I have questions! Questions that MUST be answered!!!
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bending_gender1
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I am a femme genderbenderqueer who uses male pronouns. My orientation is... queer.
I've yet to get a fag hag. Speaking that I live in the deep south where people are so anti-gay and homophobic is a little hard. I don't see alot of peeps who are out of the stereotypical gender binary,either.
So...here are my questions!
For Fag Hag Recipients( *laughs*): If you are a gender-diverse,as well as sexually-diverse,individual, where did you find your fag hag? How? Was she comfortable with your orientation and gender identity at first? If she wasn't, or was ignorant, how did you educate her about it? Any else you'd like to share?
For Zeh Famous Fag Hags(we love you so much): How educated were you about gender identity and sexual orientation when you started to get to know your fag? How did you two become friends? How did you become "The Fag And The Hag"? How comfortable are you now with gender-diverse peeps?
If these questions can be answered,then that would just make my day! Thanks in advance.
Be blessed.
<3,
Kasynn
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| Sunday, July 20th, 2008
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4:58 pm - Obama Pride - Video Collage
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| Thursday, July 17th, 2008
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6:16 am - Venting
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lilibelle3
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So my #1 gay and I were supposed to go to dinner Fri with some friends. Turns out no one else can come, so I ask him "do you still want to go?" "yeah" he replies. Next day he emails me something like "dont take this personally,but I dont want to go out Fri". So I reply "Well, I am taking it personally." Now I know that I am being ridiculous. He can cancel plans, he can spend time with whom he chooses. What hurt me the most was his lack of response to my reply. Whenever he is being sensitive, hurt, or whatever I do what I can to make him feel better, tell him he's loved etc. So the fact that there was no communication at all after that really hurt. I also realize what could he have said really? But I have this image of him being like "whatever" and moving on. So I will see him today at work and I wonder if he'll just ignore my reply. I dont know if I should say something to him or just let it go. Just needed to vent my frustration. Thankx!
current mood: disappointed
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| Thursday, July 10th, 2008
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4:51 am - I'm still not quite sure how this all happened . . .
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hopemoon
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I fell in love with a man who is very much gay, and I need to figure out how it happened. First, allow me to explain why this is a particularly novel experience for me. I am sometimes attracted to men who are either gay, or who tend to be perceived by others as gay based on first impressions. I dated a man who identified as gay for nearly a year, for example, but I think he was bi because he dated women before his one male partner, and ended up marrying another woman after dating me. With all these men, though, they always were the pursuers and initiated every step in the dating process.
My predictions about which men are romantically interested in me, and how strong their feelings are, have tended to be highly accurate in the past. I am also the type of woman who might develop a small crush on a man from a distance, but generally, I simply am not *able* to fall in love with someone until after he has pursued me ardently and shown strong romantic interest in me. And he has to be truly "available" as well. For example, I once had a crush on a man for two years. He began flirting with me at a party, then he introduced me to his lovely girlfriend (who I did not know existed) and my interest in him literally extinguished itself in moments. That is a typical reaction for me, to such discoveries.
Now, here is the scenario:
( Read more... )
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| Wednesday, July 9th, 2008
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2:03 pm - Just one more thing that makes me giggle
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clafairy_wally
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My Fag and I sitting our computers in our study looking at iTunes store when he sees Jonas Brothers (they arent that big in Aus i dont think) listens to a clip of their msuic and announces "They're the new Hanson!" I nearly fell off my chair laughing at how silly it was! :-)
Silly I know but its one of the things I loves about me fag :D
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