Miranda (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} pinned_up) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} equestrian,@ 2005-07-11 21:34:00 |
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[I am sure I will get yelled at for posting this and it will probably get deleted, but this needs to be said. There are several members that act like they are the dictionary for the equestrian world. I, along with several other members, am sick of their negative comments, attitudes and scolding. And I'm going to stand up and say something because I want it to stop. These people are ruining this community.]
Seriously.
Do [some of] you have nothing to do but criticize other members? I wish there was a limit to how many negative comments users could give out in a week and if people exceeded them they were banned.
It's obvious that we are from all over the world. In other parts of the world ::gasp:: people do things differently. We shouldn't chastize nor try to correct them. If people ask for help, then by all means, give them the advice! And, discussion of said given advice is great too, it's how we learn, but don't put down the person giving it because they might not share the same opinion as you! Have we all lost our manners? Do we even remember the definition of the word "respect?"
Think of what you're saying to these other members this way: Was it fun when Mom/Dad/Teacher/Sibling/Trainer/Kid from school put you down? Did you really learn anything from that? No, but you lost some self esteem and pride, I bet. Instead, were you more receptive to kind words of criticism given with respect towards you? Don't lie, the answer is yes, unless you're masochistic.
Sure, you're "just trying to help" or "they may not know it's dangerous." Fair enough. Maybe these equestrians are aware of the dangers and choose to do whatever they're doing "wrong" anyway. Or, maybe in their part of the world that is how things are done, yelling at them won't change it. I don't care if you have had horses for 20+ years or train or instruct, you just might not know the answer. Or, you might be wrong all together yourself. And, in not giving other members respect, creative license to train their horses how they see fit, you are hurting people's feelings, talking to deaf ears and annoying the hell out of the rest of us.
Also, FOR GOD'S SAKE, IF SOMEONE DOESN'T ASK FOR HELP OR A CRITIC [i.e. they're just posting pictures or a short story about their day] DON'T JUMP DOWN THEIR THROAT AND TELL THEM HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE! I don't know how many times I've clicked on some pictures only to find comments about how the horse is tied wrong, or could step on their lead [Oh no, so they step on their lead. Most just jerk their head and back up. It isn't a big deal, no one is dying.] or "OH MY GOD! WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A HELMET?!?! SURELY, YOU WILL DIE IMMEDIATELY!" Yes, for some of us, helmets keep our brains inside our skulls. But we most definitely have the right to either wear them or not [Depending on barn and show rules, of course.] and who gives anyone the right to tell us otherwise? Certainly not the members of a horse community on the INTERNET.
If you just can't stop hovering over other members like a first time mother, try to find a better way to word your woes. Don't berate them. Use suggestions, positive thoughts/words... No one responds well to a pushy, "you are so wrong and you are just the worst equestrian ever!" type comments.
How you train, show, what you wear or don't wear, do or don't do with your horse, use for voice commands, how you bathe, clip or load is how YOU do those things. You don't need to constantly interject with how YOU do these things unless relevant. Telling someone who just wrote about how fantastic their ride was that they "should have cued with their right inside leg to get them to blah blah blah" just isn't necessary. They are YOUR opinions, not things that are set in gold for all of us to follow.
So, in closing, please, stop being everyone's moms and dads and let us enjoy our horses, post our pictures, write about our days, make jokes and ask questions without making us feel like we missed curfew because we were shooting up behind the gas station.
Use these words to help you: Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you would feel bad or mad that someone said what some of you guys have said to memebers, then don't say it.
Seriously.
Do [some of] you have nothing to do but criticize other members? I wish there was a limit to how many negative comments users could give out in a week and if people exceeded them they were banned.
It's obvious that we are from all over the world. In other parts of the world ::gasp:: people do things differently. We shouldn't chastize nor try to correct them. If people ask for help, then by all means, give them the advice! And, discussion of said given advice is great too, it's how we learn, but don't put down the person giving it because they might not share the same opinion as you! Have we all lost our manners? Do we even remember the definition of the word "respect?"
Think of what you're saying to these other members this way: Was it fun when Mom/Dad/Teacher/Sibling/Trainer/Kid from school put you down? Did you really learn anything from that? No, but you lost some self esteem and pride, I bet. Instead, were you more receptive to kind words of criticism given with respect towards you? Don't lie, the answer is yes, unless you're masochistic.
Sure, you're "just trying to help" or "they may not know it's dangerous." Fair enough. Maybe these equestrians are aware of the dangers and choose to do whatever they're doing "wrong" anyway. Or, maybe in their part of the world that is how things are done, yelling at them won't change it. I don't care if you have had horses for 20+ years or train or instruct, you just might not know the answer. Or, you might be wrong all together yourself. And, in not giving other members respect, creative license to train their horses how they see fit, you are hurting people's feelings, talking to deaf ears and annoying the hell out of the rest of us.
Also, FOR GOD'S SAKE, IF SOMEONE DOESN'T ASK FOR HELP OR A CRITIC [i.e. they're just posting pictures or a short story about their day] DON'T JUMP DOWN THEIR THROAT AND TELL THEM HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE! I don't know how many times I've clicked on some pictures only to find comments about how the horse is tied wrong, or could step on their lead [Oh no, so they step on their lead. Most just jerk their head and back up. It isn't a big deal, no one is dying.] or "OH MY GOD! WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A HELMET?!?! SURELY, YOU WILL DIE IMMEDIATELY!" Yes, for some of us, helmets keep our brains inside our skulls. But we most definitely have the right to either wear them or not [Depending on barn and show rules, of course.] and who gives anyone the right to tell us otherwise? Certainly not the members of a horse community on the INTERNET.
If you just can't stop hovering over other members like a first time mother, try to find a better way to word your woes. Don't berate them. Use suggestions, positive thoughts/words... No one responds well to a pushy, "you are so wrong and you are just the worst equestrian ever!" type comments.
How you train, show, what you wear or don't wear, do or don't do with your horse, use for voice commands, how you bathe, clip or load is how YOU do those things. You don't need to constantly interject with how YOU do these things unless relevant. Telling someone who just wrote about how fantastic their ride was that they "should have cued with their right inside leg to get them to blah blah blah" just isn't necessary. They are YOUR opinions, not things that are set in gold for all of us to follow.
So, in closing, please, stop being everyone's moms and dads and let us enjoy our horses, post our pictures, write about our days, make jokes and ask questions without making us feel like we missed curfew because we were shooting up behind the gas station.
Use these words to help you: Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you would feel bad or mad that someone said what some of you guys have said to memebers, then don't say it.
