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First off, welcome to all the new members! I've been terribly lax in responding to intro posts but I'll try to do better, now that the madness of grad school application season has subsided.
My question is threefold:
1) If you took time off between undergrad and grad school to work, did you find it a difficult transition back to school? Fortunately I found a solution to the two-body problem - my soon-to-be husband works as a process engineer for U.S. Steel and I will be starting a Ph.D. in bioengineering at Notre Dame. Now that I'm admitted, though, I'm starting to feel anxious about returning to school, especially with the intensity of graduate classes. My job has not been that challenging and I worry about all the things I've already forgotten. Is there anything I can do to mentally prepare myself?
2) If you are married or living with your SO, and he has an intense job as well, how do you cope? Like most new engineers at his plant, FI is expected to work 9-10 hour days with an hour's commute each way. Right now he is having a hard time adjusting and it is leaving him pretty drained at the end of the day. I anticipate a similarly challenging schedule, between coursework, hours in the lab, and TA duties. How do you share responsibilities for household work, and how do you make time for each other?
3) If you're a current grad student, do you take part in any mentoring activities, and how does your advisor feel about it? I was really active in SWE as an undergrad and Notre Dame has a "women in engineering" program that I'd like to volunteer with. However, I've heard that advisors often don't take kindly to any activity that could be seen as a "distraction" from your research work. Naturally, I don't want to overextend myself either. Any thoughts?
Thanks for any comments or advice you can provide!
My question is threefold:
1) If you took time off between undergrad and grad school to work, did you find it a difficult transition back to school? Fortunately I found a solution to the two-body problem - my soon-to-be husband works as a process engineer for U.S. Steel and I will be starting a Ph.D. in bioengineering at Notre Dame. Now that I'm admitted, though, I'm starting to feel anxious about returning to school, especially with the intensity of graduate classes. My job has not been that challenging and I worry about all the things I've already forgotten. Is there anything I can do to mentally prepare myself?
2) If you are married or living with your SO, and he has an intense job as well, how do you cope? Like most new engineers at his plant, FI is expected to work 9-10 hour days with an hour's commute each way. Right now he is having a hard time adjusting and it is leaving him pretty drained at the end of the day. I anticipate a similarly challenging schedule, between coursework, hours in the lab, and TA duties. How do you share responsibilities for household work, and how do you make time for each other?
3) If you're a current grad student, do you take part in any mentoring activities, and how does your advisor feel about it? I was really active in SWE as an undergrad and Notre Dame has a "women in engineering" program that I'd like to volunteer with. However, I've heard that advisors often don't take kindly to any activity that could be seen as a "distraction" from your research work. Naturally, I don't want to overextend myself either. Any thoughts?
Thanks for any comments or advice you can provide!
contemplative
This is something worth discussing with a potential advisor if it's important to you. Obviously if you have limited time during an interview, research opportunities are your priority, but if nothing else ask his or her students/postdocs about their activities and the prof's attitude.
2) Can't help you with that one. My SO got laid off, so his schedule isn't too challenging these days. :/
3) This is going to depend on the advisor. I second the earlier suggestion that your mentoring activities could be spun to your advisor as a positive for NSF funding and the like. Really, though, my personal opinion is that any advisor who tries to prevent you from having a life outside your research (assuming that you are doing your duties and progressing through the program at an acceptable pace) is being abusive. I would say, and I realize that many grad students don't agree with me...decide what is important enough to you that you are not willing to sacrifice it on the altar of grad studies, and stick to that. I hope to get a PhD some day (my current program is not PhD-level). I love research. But there are many things I do that are not research that are important to me, and any advisor who thinks that I will give them up on his/her whim is self-delusional. :)
2. I have been working for a year next month. My hubby has been working for one month now. So far how we cope is by having a really messy house. Honestly he > housework. And just always remember that he > work too. We try to only plan "outings" on weekends, because we are homebodies who recharge by being at home. Running errands in the evenings leaves us stressed out, so we just don't. If that means it takes 3 weeks to get something done, so be it.
Also, we do "boring" stuff together--like grocery shop or buying cat litter. It gives us time to hang out and talk even if it is a mundane activity. : )
3. If they can't support you in that, I think you've found the wrong adviser. If you don't have enough time for the program, you can check out things you DO have time for. Have you ever checked out http://mentornet.net ?