Oh, don't be ridiculous. Andrea. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us.

(There is a word for this. When Jaejoong kisses him in the bathroom during rehearsal breaks; when Jaejoong sings with him; when Jaejoong draws stars, messages, and then an elephant on his arm after he falls asleep in the van. Changmin hasn’t invested in any happy endings, but he still has syllables waiting on the back of his tongue for a clumsy enunciation. He thinks, someday he is going to say something really irrational and stupid, and he isn’t going to regret it at all.)

...we have no hope of better
Happiness than this, not much to show for love
But how we are, or how this evening is,
Unpeopled, silent, and where we are alive
In a domestic love, seemingly alone,
All other lives worn down to trees and sunlight,
Looking forward to a visit from the cat.