Does anyone else remember when their perspective changed?

I don't necessarily mean the beginnings of a disorder, but the day you realized maybe your body wasn't perfect the way it was made?


I was at school, in the fourth grade. Lunchtime, of course. Two girls were across the table from me. I had a little game going where I would try to finish every bit of my food before the bell rung and I would take home my empty lunchbox. This was a bragging right, something to be proud of. "Oh, I can finish all my lunch, I am superior to my classmates who can't." These girls sized me up and asked "How can you eat that much and still stay so small?" I was small. I knew that. They went on to argue about whos thighs were bigger, how large they would balloon if they ate even half of my lunch, and on and on. And I thought about it too, and wondered, what makes me so special? Maybe I should eat less so I don't make them feel bad. Maybe I would look better anyways. These girls certainly aren't fat or ugly. What do they see that I don't see?

Hi everybody! I'm looking for somebody who's good at making websites to help me out.
For the past few years, I've been running the Purple Ribbon Campaign, which raises money for local charities that support people's recovery. Well, the campaign has grown a lot since it started, and it's outgrown its freewebs.com page. I want to get a domain name and make it a nice website...but I'm a dunce at html and the like.

Is there anybody who's up for a holiday project who knows stuff about making websites and who wants to help?

For more info on the campaign, here's the current website http://www.freewebs.com/edawareness/ and the facebook group http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=2233086041

Reply to this or message me if you're able to help!

Or, if you want to help raise money for any of the dozens of support centres around the world that I'm trying to raise money for, let me know. Every little bit counts.
Thanks!

Hello! My name is Serafina. I am in recovery from an eating disorder and I used to be active on this community on my old username (gasping) but I somehow forgot about it when I moved journals - shame on me!

However, since I've joined again today, I wanted to make a post about this new and exciting project in my life called Her Power. It's an internet-based organization geared toward women that seeks to raise, promote, and spread awareness of the power that creative expression can possess in overcoming unhealthy coping behaviors, painful life experiences, and emotional stress; it will begin launching in January 2010 from its website at www.herpower.org.

We have a facebook fan page here, http://www.facebook.com/herpower, as well. I'm an alum of The Renfrew Center of Florida and I speak there often. I recently presented my plans for Her Power and received an overwhelming response of amazing feedback which only served to fan my creative fire even more. :)

If this cause interests you at all, please fan us on facebook! As I noted, the site will be up in January.

Also, for those of you in or around Nashville, Tennessee - I will be presenting at Middle Tennessee State University on February 23, 2010 during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week and everyone is invited! Comment and/or email me for more info.

I would also love more responses to this survey I created on the power of creative expression in recovery and I'm currently accepting submissions of creative work for the website!

Feel free to contact me either by commenting on this entry or emailing me at SERAFINA at HERPOWER dot ORG! Thank you so much for reading, keep creating and shining :)

~Serafina

hii, first time posting.
sorry, but im going to try to make this quick.
add me as a friend if you want to get to know me better :)
anyways, i told my friend about my ED.
and i'm really trying to explain to her what it is about.
there was this artice i read, and i loved it.
it went something like
"anorexia is.."
and then listed a bunch of things about how awful the disease was.
some parts i remember were:
"it's about not having sex until my thighs don't touch, and by then i have no libido anyways.
its about wheat allergies, veganism, lactose intollerance..." etc.
thats not exactly how it goes, but its as close as i can get.
crap, thats all i can remember.
does anyone know what i'm talking about?
does anyone know where i can find it?
because right now i cant seem to find it anywhere..
=/

From the American Journal of Psychiatry.

Summary with Links to the full article (p. 1342) & review p. 1309.:

A large, long-term study extends the finding of high death rates in anorexia nervosa to bulimia nervosa and other eating disorders. Crow et al. (p. 1342) determined diagnoses for 1,885 outpatients with eating disorders evaluated between 1979 and 1997 and searched the National Death Index for matches through 2004. The crude mortality rates for the patients with diagnoses of anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and "eating disorder not otherwise specified" were 4.0%, 3.9%, and 5.2%, respectively. Compared to national mortality data for demographically similar groups, the rate for eating disorder not otherwise specified was significantly elevated, suggesting that this diagnosis does not indicate a less severe disorder. In addition, 13 of the 84 deaths identified were due to suicide, and eight of these were among the patients with bulimia nervosa. These findings are discussed by Dr. Walter Kaye in an editorial on p. 1309.

The Abstract:

OBJECTIVE: Anorexia nervosa has been consistently associated with increased mortality, but whether this is true for other types of eating disorders is unclear. The goal of this study was to determine whether anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and eating disorder not otherwise specified are associated with increased all-cause mortality or suicide mortality. METHOD: Using computerized record linkage to the National Death Index, the authors conducted a longitudinal assessment of mortality over 8 to 25 years in 1,885 individuals with anorexia nervosa (N=177), bulimia nervosa (N=906), or eating disorder not otherwise specified (N=802) who presented for treatment at a specialized eating disorders clinic in an academic medical center. RESULTS: Crude mortality rates were 4.0% for anorexia nervosa, 3.9% for bulimia nervosa, and 5.2% for eating disorder not otherwise specified. All-cause standardized mortality ratios were significantly elevated for bulimia nervosa and eating disorder not otherwise specified; suicide standardized mortality ratios were elevated for bulimia nervosa and eating disorder not otherwise specified. CONCLUSIONS: Individuals with eating disorder not otherwise specified, which is sometimes viewed as a "less severe" eating disorder, had elevated mortality risks, similar to those found in anorexia nervosa. This study also demonstrated an increased risk of suicide across eating disorder diagnoses.

My Two Cents:

( What's Good & What's Bad )
Some quotes:
( Statements that I found interesting )

Tell me if the links don't work. I'll fix them. You can also download the full PDF files at the AJP page.

EDIT: For some reason it looks like the full text of the actual study isn't up anymore. That fast...

I thought this recent study was pretty interesting, considering that I developed some stomach issues for the first time after relapsing into AN several years ago. My GP didn't understand why I would suddenly be having symptoms resembling celiac, IBS, etc. after ruling those out.

This was the conclusion of the study:
"Fructose-Sorbitol, but not glucose, provokes GI symptoms in ED patients, predominantly those with low BMI (17.5 or less). These findings are important in the dietary management of ED patients."

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091119101215.htm

( Here is an Article About it in Science Daily... )

In other words, sometimes the diet products and artificial sweeteners ED patients use can be contributing to GI symptoms that are difficult to explain. For some reason, the correlation between low BMI and sorbitol malabsorption had never been studied before. Kind-of relevant to the dietary treatment of ED patients, don't you think?

Anyone know when ED-NOS was added to the DSM? I'm pretty sure it was either the DSM-IV or the DSM-IV-TR, but I haven't been able to a source for it yet and thought someone here might know.

Thanks!

Has any relation between "picky eaters" as children growing up to develop eating disorders (more than the general person)?

I'm currently working on an undergraduate thesis on eating disorders, and have noticed a common link between eating disorders and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in a lot of the literature. In my initial research, there were references to atypical and/or difficult patients being diagnosed with BPD, thus making them "inappropriate candidates for treatment" (yeah, it's really fucked up), but I noticed there are multiple references to BPD in the DSM-IV-TR section on eating disorders as well.

Does anyone know where the link between eds and BPD originated/how it became so well-established (or at least sufficiently well established to be referenced repeatedly in the DSM)? It seems like a pretty big stretch to me-- not that there aren't individuals with both, but to suggest that it's particularly common seems like a gross overstatement, especially considering how contested/controversial/problematic BPD diagnoses are prone to be in general. Mostly, it strikes me as a way to push aside patients who are difficult to treat/chronic cases, but there's got to be some research/documentation to justify this course of diagnosis/treatment, right?

Thanks!

(x-posted to ed_feminist)

eating disorder documentary, very interesting..


what's your opinion?

I would like to preface this by saying that, for a 19-year-old, I have spent a ridiculous amount of my life getting hot flashes for various reasons. I get them when I'm anxious sometimes, and I used to get them regularly because of medication. So this could just be a weird quirk of my own.

BUT lately it seems that I have been waking up more and more having extreme hot flashes when I have no reason to be having them. It is almost always the night of one of my binge/purge days (it's probably of note that I take laxatives after purging too- not an extreme amount, but a few times the recommended dosage). I'll go to bed freezing, but then I'll wake up in the middle of the night so hot that I end up stripping off my clothes and covers.

I'm curious if anyone else has experienced something like this. It's not like I wake up sweating, just unbearably hot. It's more disorienting than anything else, because I go to bed freezing and wake up boiling.

hello.

i have been looking into residential treatment for anorexia/bulimia and am finding a hard time finding suitable places. not only do i want to find somewhere close by but somewhere that is proven to help many people.

i think it would be nice if i could get other people's contributions into my search and was wondering if people had any recommendations on places that have helped you or comments about places that havent

In the support group I go to, we were talking about how if we could all go back to our low AN weight and still be healthy we would. We were also talking about why we think such low body weights are attractive. Does anyone ever push past this and learn to love their non anorexic body? I'm just curious and want some thoughts.

I'm in a partial-hospitalization-program (12 hours a day, 5 days a week!) for my anorexia right now.  I'm almost 5 weeks into the program and have another 4-5 to go.  Right now I'm having this odd issue- EVERYTHING (muscle and bone and skin-wise) from the waist up just hurts all the time.  Stomach muscles, back muscles, arm bones, back muscles, surface skin, you name it.  It feels like the day after when you've worked out for the first time in weeks and you go way too hard and too long.  This has been going on for at least the last 3 or 4 weeks.  My doctor said there's no "real" cause for it.  I'm not exercising at all, and haven't been since I started the program.  The doctor suggested it's all physological and just anxiety.  Now, I've been anxious since I was born, and I don't FEEL that much more anxious than I have been before, but I don't know...  Of course, I'm eating way more than I was before I started treatment, but I have no clue if that could be influencing this. 
Anyone have any clue what's going on with me?  I'm open to any suggestions!  Thank you guys!        

This question may be slightly off-topic... but I'm curious.

Body dysmorphia is a known accompanier of eating disorders: the inability to see your body for the size it truly is. Seeing yourself as being far larger than you are is one thing... but here is my question:

Does anyone else have dysmorphic perception regarding other things/other entities? Seeing objects as taking up far more space than their physical dimensions would indicate?

I never even thought about this, until my fiance and I started decorating/talking about decorating the house that we just bought. I keep having rather serious issues with trying to scope out how much space we have for, say, a table or a new couch. My mantra (much-mocked, albeit lovingly) has become "I don't think there's space for that"... and then we go home, tape out the space on the floor, and I try to reconcile what I see with what I think I see. Everything just looks so BIG. A 36" square table, standing in the showroom, looks like it could dwarf our enormous living room, even if the taped out markings on the floor look tiny.

Thoughts? Does this happen to anyone else?

i recently have been thinking about getting judith beck's book that basically uses CBT techniques to establish healthier attitudes and eating habits. of course, it's marketed as a diet book and its audience is clearly not the eating disordered population. but while i no longer consider myself to have an ED (healthy weight, no ED behaviors, pretty healthy body acceptance), i still have a hard time being completely "normal" about food, or rather, i feel i could use a bit more work to get where i want to be.

i know there have been other discussions/requests here for workbooks and such for EDs (like this and this and this), but i was wondering if anyone had used the beck diet book(s) specifically to help them with recovery or achieving normalcy. thanks :)

Hi, I'm not new to this community. In fact, I've been reading the entries here for a long time and I love how much this community focuses on the share of medical information and studies about eating disorders and how it relates to us instead of reading endless pages on how someone accidentally binged and now they're going to restrict for the rest of their lives.

I'm not trying to put anyone down, but this community feels much more grounded on sharing knowledge and discussion rather than entries of self-worthlessness. It's more refreshing, more encouraging for me to question my own eating disorder and how it's affecting me.

So I have this question that I want to ask some of you since I can't seem to find much information on this topic. I'm aware anorexia affects multiple organs of your body. I visited my physician last week and I think he was trying to put my situation into 'nicer' words by sayng my liver is trying to compensate and keep the homeostatis in my body but it's not working out. To me, it sounded like he was tryring to say that my liver is showing signs of failure. The reason why this doesn't come across frightening to me is because I simply assumed it won't get any worse. I've never been hospitalized for my anorexia, never reached the low levels that I see most people with anorexia achieve. I've only went to the emergency room once because I took too many laxatives but they just made me sit there and sent me back home on the same night after a simple blood test and said everything was OK.

Wherever I read online, I read along the lines of "anorexia affects the liver causing damage" but how? Every article I read reduced the importance of the liver to a few words in a sentence and talked more about body distortion, which really what anorexia is too, but hey, I can live with some body distortion but I can't live without a liver.

Fair people of ed_ucate, I need your advice. (Sorry for the wonky English, I'm a foreign language speaker, excuses excuses, I know.)

I have two very good friends. Both of them know about my ED, they've been nothing but supportive during my stays at different psychiatric hospitals, and I couldn't love them more. However, ever since I've started eating in front of others again, a problem has surfaced. The guy friend - let's just call him T, because I'm a very sneaky person - keeps trying to find out about my calories. He always asks how many calories there are in foods, something I don't usually mind. But it's starting to get out of hand.

We went to McDonald's yesterday - he and his girlfriend got a Mc-something menu, while I had a garden salad. Then he asked the dreaded question. Okay, nothing bad so far. Then he asked how I know that the calorie content of foods is accurate. This was when I started getting nervous, since food having more calories than it says on the label is one of my biggest fears. I was more or less able to shrug off this one, but then he started going on about how the vegetables I buy and weigh might not have the exact amount of calories that are in FitDay. This was when I slammed my hands right down on the table, glared at him and asked him to stop it... maybe I was a little louder than necessary.

But the story didn't end there. On the way home, we bought some things from Lidl. He walked up to me with a bag of chips in his hand, and... well, script format is easier.

( It got long... )

In your experience, as well as what you've read, seen in the media, etc., what do you think are some of the most common myths about eating disorders? You know things like, "It's just a diet gone wrong." I'm collecting answers for a project, but it will be totally anonymous. :-) Thanks!

x-posted to ed_recovery