sli ([info]slidellra) wrote in [info]ds_snippets,
@ 2007-07-18 18:51:00
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Entry tags:author: slidellra, fandom: due south

Purgatory, by slidellra
Title: Purgatory
Fandom: due South. Fraser/Victoria.
Rating: G
Word count: 299
Prompt: And the girl I loved once
Came to me last night
In a dream with a secret to tell
She whispered close
Can’t you hear the ocean?
As she leaned her ear
Against a shotgun shell
- Ghost Repeater, Jeffrey Foucault





When he let himself think of her, he wondered how he would react to her now, given the opportunity.

He wasn't like her; love and hate didn't cover it. Nothing could.

He wanted to hurt her. To do it on purpose for once. She would have gloated, had she known.

He feared himself, feared her voice and her too-human eyes and the longing he'd never be free of. Longing for her body, her company and conversation, and, worse, longing to heal her, to fix her broken places or die trying.

He hoped he'd have the control to arrest her. Still, he never tracked her.

But when she did return, he neither arrested her nor assaulted her nor gave himself over to her. He ignored her.

He was far more successful in this than he'd ever been with his father, so when she railed at him, screamed and howled and shrieked at him, he stayed, for once, entirely focused on reality. When she talked softly to him, recited that damned poem to him, tried, futilely, to touch him, he played innocent. Tilted his head at Ray, paid attention to his words and his alone, pursued miscreants, was normal, was sane. When she mocked him, pointed out the inherent absurdity of his life and ideals, he never flinched, never once allowed himself to deny her words.

She insisted she saw through him. Saw the quickening of his breath when she spoke of passion, saw the way he moved in front of his partner when she threatened, saw that he saw her and heard her and knew her as he always had.

He never confirmed it.

She would never be incarcerated, but they could both be punished. He did, after all, have the discipline for that.


*


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[info]malnpudl
2007-07-19 12:10 am UTC (link)
Oh, wow.

*shivers*

That is so very Fraser.

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-19 07:09 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, Mal! Am very, very happy to hear that this Fraser worked for you. Poor man.

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[info]simplystars
2007-07-19 12:48 am UTC (link)
Holy cow. O_o

That's just... wow. The idea of it, and poor haunted Fraser willingly accepting it as penance.

Stunning.

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-19 07:11 pm UTC (link)
Isn't it a horrible idea? I mean, Bob eventually goes off into the light, but Victoria? Hard to imagine.

Thank you so much for the kind words. *is delighted*

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[info]akite
2007-07-19 01:58 am UTC (link)
You made me want to scream at her, "Get out of his head, you bitch! Just leave him alone!" Good job. *g*

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-19 07:12 pm UTC (link)
*bg* Thanks so much!

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[info]brynnmck
2007-07-19 03:48 am UTC (link)
Oh, Fraser. This is terrible and lovely.

And OMG Jeffrey Foucault!!!

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-19 07:16 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! They suffer beautifully, those two.

I must admit I don't know Jeffrey Foucault at all, but it was a nifty prompt. I sense that you somehow maybe kind of like him a little? *is psychic*

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[info]brynnmck
2007-07-19 07:23 pm UTC (link)
Just a bit, yes. You are so perceptive! HEE. He has free mp3s at his website (including both studio and live versions of "Ghost Repeater") if you're interested! :)

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-20 12:15 am UTC (link)
I thought so. I am very perceptive, you know.

Cool! I went and downloaded a bunch of his music, will look forward to the listening.

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[info]primroseburrows
2007-07-19 08:19 am UTC (link)
Oh, wow, I love this. Passive-aggressive!Fraser using his own pain as a weapon. Perfect, spot-on characterization, and ow.

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-19 07:18 pm UTC (link)
*dances* Thank you! That's a wonderful way to put it. And I'm delighted the characterization seemed solid to you.

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[info]dessert_first
2007-07-19 11:28 pm UTC (link)
Wonderful! I've been yearning for a Victoria haunting Fraser story, and this delivers masterfully. I particularly love him stepping in front of Ray. This just sounds so believable and so very awful for all of them... I hate to think of him eventually losing the very sanity he's trying so hard to project under this relentless onslaught. She's got all the time in the world, after all. He's got to crack somehow, eventually.

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-20 12:26 am UTC (link)
Oh, I'm so happy to hear that! The haunting scenario does seem to come with little by way of possible happy ending, because yes, Fraser can't hold out against that kind of pressure forever. And I liked that nod to partnership, too. Maybe Ray figures out a way to un-haunt Fraser, and then there is the love and the mansex? *ponders happily*

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[info]arrow00
2007-07-21 06:33 am UTC (link)
Woof. This is awesome. A just punishment for her, to be denied existence by him.

But poor, poor Fraser to have to endure it.

Thank you for this!

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-21 04:52 pm UTC (link)
*dances*

It gives me the willies just thinking about it. Such potential for them to become even MORE twisted and hurtful and dependent on each other.

Thank you!

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[info]omphale23
2007-07-21 09:38 pm UTC (link)
I hate you. You said you wrote a snippet. You *didn't* say you wrote an awesome fucking F/Victoria snippet that needs to be turned into a full fic. Like, yesterday.

*glares at you*

*reads it again*

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-21 11:07 pm UTC (link)
*is hated* *wriggles with pleasure*

I did say something about it being brilliant, didn't I? I'm sure I did. This is me we're talking about.

There are a handful of snippets I'd really like to explore at greater length. Need to get on that.

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[info]spuffyduds
2007-07-23 04:16 am UTC (link)
Good God.

I think I have to go curl up with a teddy bear for several hours.

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-23 06:25 pm UTC (link)
Puppies! Kittens! Mansex! The way they smile on the Henry Allen!

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[info]mlyn
2007-07-23 04:19 am UTC (link)
This is why I love Fraser: he is not the cookie-cutter perfect Mountie everyone thinks he is. Well done.

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-23 06:27 pm UTC (link)
Oh, thank you! I'm glad it worked for you.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-07-24 06:29 pm UTC (link)
Okay, I came here prepard to be less happy, but instead I am deeply and incredibly touched. Maybe not in a good way (yeah, it's sad and fucked up and poor Fraser!) but this is a very moving piece. And [info]omphale23 is right, as she so often is: you need to expand this. The notion of Victoria haunting Fraser is such an interesting one, and I love the way you tease us here. Is he protecting Ray from her, or from the part of himself that could love her? There's so much to dig through in his desire to hurt her and, conversly, "to heal her, to fix her broken places or die trying." It's fabulously contradictory and no wonder it's driving poor Fraser a little batty. (Err, or batty-er.) There are layers and layers here and you are very smart and I want to *lick* you. Because dude. Write a long F/Victoria piece already! :-)

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[info]slidellra
2007-07-25 07:12 pm UTC (link)
*loves all over you* I am so very happy to hear that you found it moving. And I would love to write a longer piece with them, if the writing gods smile favorably upon me.

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[info]keerawa
2007-08-02 03:20 am UTC (link)
That is really quite horrifying. Because I can absolutely see Fraser as believing they both deserve this.

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[info]slidellra
2007-08-03 01:19 am UTC (link)
Yeah, me too. *shudders*

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[info]luzula
2007-08-14 07:22 am UTC (link)
Oh wow. That's perfect, and there were so many lines that made me think. And the concept of her haunting him, and him accepting it as punishment for them both - that's so painful. Especially liked these lines:

She would have gloated, had she known.

worse, longing to heal her, to fix her broken places or die trying.

She would never be incarcerated, but they could both be punished. He did, after all, have the discipline for that.


I would totally read a longer story based on this.

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[info]slidellra
2007-10-24 03:17 am UTC (link)
Whoops! A VERY belated thank you. I'm glad it worked for you. <3

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[info]plotbunniofdoom
2009-05-08 10:08 pm UTC (link)
Oh, that is so powerful. It took me a re-reading to get that she was a ghost but I love that idea! It seems so believable and very true to the characters.

Did you ever write a longer version?

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